


In Her Wake

by rachelsstorm



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fade to Black, Gen, Modern Girl in Thedas, Original Character(s), Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2019-10-09 08:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 93,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17403491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelsstorm/pseuds/rachelsstorm
Summary: In December 2018 I posted a brief part of my Dragon Age fanfiction for #dragone4geday in the hopes that I would put up the rest (from the beginning) in 2019. It's about an original character, Leah, who is stuck in Thedas and has to make her own way. I've been working on this for years and there is a lot more to come. If you can get past the trope, I promise that there is much more worth reading. Leah surprised me quite a bit once I got into the thick of it.In no particular order (AKA play it on shuffle) Spotify playlist: https://goo.gl/EuAy5sI was originally inspired by many hours of playing DAI multiplayer and wondering about the stories behind the soldiers fighting for the Inquisition. Then it expanded to the Kirkwall guard, and the forces throughout Ferelden during the Blight. Who are these people and what brought them to where they are? What nightmares have they experienced? What joys and love and friendships? Hence the story of Leah.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE 2/11/19: I woke up this morning to find 5 new kudos on this story (ALL WITHIN 24 HOURS?!) and my mind was blown. Especially after rereading my original note, and remembering how afraid I was even to put the first chapter out there. I was so convinced that no one would read it. So hey, I just want to be clear: I treasure every kudos as something precious. Every single hit I see means something to me, even if it's that you clicked, read a little bit, and decided it wasn't for you. I mean this sincerely. Thanks for just being a human who took a chance.
> 
> *************************************  
> ORIGINAL NOTE
> 
> I greatly appreciate anyone who reads this, anyone who takes the time to give kudos or comments. I'm a humble aspiring writer who was blocked from my original-concept novel to pursue this line of fan fiction out of a love and passion for the series. Even if no one reads this or enjoys it, I can visibly see the progress I've made as a writer and I am grateful for that. Someday when I publish my first book I can credit this as a valuable experience that made me better at my craft. 
> 
> I would love to connect with you on Twitter or this website if you are also a Dragon Age fan or writer. I've already learned so much from more experienced writers, and I look forward to learning more. You're all amazing. Can't wait for the next Dragon Age game, and maybe even the next chapters of Leah's adventures.

Leah drifted in the soft fog between sleep and consciousness, a dream of flight lingering at the edges of her memory. A cool breeze drifted over her. She reached for her comforter, determined to roll over and fall back asleep. When she grabbed a fistful of something tall and springy instead of the soft fabric she expected her eyes flew open.

It took a moment to focus, but once she did she was even more confused. She was lying on the ground out in a field of grass. She still wore the sweatpants and tank top she had worn to bed.

Leah sat up and wondered if she had been drinking the night before, but didn’t feel the telltale dizziness or fog. She ran a hand through her loose light blond hair to feel for any bumps or bruises, but found nothing. She felt clear-headed and alert, which turned her disorientation into distress.

She looked around in a panic, hoping to see a house or building she recognized, but there was only more grass and trees at the edge of the field.

“Fuck… fuck fuck fuck.” Leah stood up quickly to get a better look. Her mind flitted over the possibility that she had been drugged and kidnapped, but there was no one around. There were more trees to her right, grassy hills to her left, and a dirt road about a quarter mile ahead of her going from left to right, heading into a forest.

She whirled around but only saw more of the same in every direction she looked. Her heart pounded. She saw houses and some kind of castle far off in the distance.

“Oh my god, where am I?” she asked in a panic. She took a couple steps towards the hills, then hesitated and turned back around towards the trees. She began to hyperventilate. Her vision swam, so she braced her hands on her knees and forced herself to take deep breaths.

 _I have to stay calm_ , she thought to herself. _I’ll figure this out. Everything will be okay._

After a few minutes she at least felt calmer, though no less worried. She looked at the road again and walked towards it. She glanced left and right to watch for cars she could flag down.

By the time she reached the road she still hadn’t seen a thing. There appeared to be tracks in the dirt, but they looked more like wheels than tires, and there were an equal amount of hoof prints and footprints interspersed with the wheel tracks.

Leah looked down the road in both directions in an attempt to see where it led. She couldn’t identify any kind of destination to the left, and the right led into the trees. She didn’t want to walk into a strange forest, but it appeared that the road curved towards a village in the distance. She decided to chance it and walked barefoot into the shade of the trees, which made the already cool air feel much colder on her bare skin.

After almost a half mile of walking she heard voices ahead.

“Hello?” Leah called out.

The voices stopped, but didn’t respond.  
.  
“I need some directions, can you help me?” She continued down the road. _This is how people get axe-murdered in horror movies_ , she thought to herself.

She turned a corner and saw a bald man in leather armor leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey!” she said, as she walked towards him. “I thought I heard someone. I’m looking for the nearest town, can you—”

Before Leah could finish her question someone else jumped out from behind her and held a knife to her throat. She froze and silently cursed her lack of caution.

“Well well, what do we have here?” her attacker said in a British accent.

“Please,” Leah held her hands up, “I don’t have any money. I’m lost and need to find the nearest town.”

The bald man uncrossed his arms and approached her. “I’m not sure I believe that,” he said, his accent the same as the first man. “Everyone who travels this road has something. A few coins, some herbs, jewelry. I’ll bet if you think real hard you’ll come up with something we can take off your hands.”

“I’m telling the truth-!”

The knife dug into her neck a bit more, cutting into the skin. Leah felt a drop of blood slide down her neck. She started to tremble.

“Stubborn…” he said and clucked his tongue. “Don’t move.” He patted her down, searching for something valuable to steal. “Shit.”

“What?” the man with the knife said.

“She really doesn’t have anything.” The bald man pulled back and rubbed his chin. “That’s a shame. Now we’ve wasted all this time on you when we could have made a profit on someone else.” He jerked his head towards his companion, who pulled the blade away from her neck.

Leah choked back a sob. “Please, just let me go. I won’t say a thing to anyone.”

The bald man shook his head. “But now we’ve got to teach you a lesson.” He punched her in the gut and she doubled over, struggling to breathe through the shock. Before she could do so, he backhanded her across the face and she fell onto the dirt road.

The man with the knife laughed, and both men stood over her as she gasped.

“Please…” she begged. She was rewarded with a kick to her back and more laughter.

The men paused before the next blow could land.

“Did y’hear that?” the one with the knife said.

“Someone’s coming,” the bald man responded.

They moved to the side of the road and crouched near a boulder.

A few seconds later a horse-driven cart came around the bend. An older man with a long grey beard held the reins. As he approached a young blond teenage boy popped up from the back of the cart with a crossbow aimed right at the two men hidden alongside the road. A bolt pierced a tree inches away from their heads and they both took off into the forest.

“You missed,” the old man commented and pulled back on the reins. “Whoa, whoa. Stop there Tiny.”

“You know if I killed them the rest of those bandits would come after us,” the boy said to the old man. “This will keep them out of our way.”

He put down the crossbow and hopped from the cart in one swift movement. He jogged over to Leah. “She’s alright,” he called out. He leaned down and put one of her arms around his neck. “Come on, up you go.”

Leah leaned on the youth and worked to get her feet back under her. While lanky, the boy was stronger than he looked and was able to hold her up. She felt a wave of nausea when she was upright again, but it passed and she was able to walk over to the cart with the boy.

“You’re lucky we came along when we did, my dear,” the old man said. He reached out a hand to help her up into the front of the cart, and noticed the cut on her neck. “Yes, very lucky. That doesn’t look bad at all, but could have been much worse. Nevin, pass me one of our elfroot potions.”

Nevin dug into a box in the cart and pulled out a small vial before passing it to the old man.

“Here, drink this.” The old man handed her the potion.

Leah looked at it in confusion. “What is this?”

“Elfroot, my dear. Should help that cut, any other injuries they gave you. You never know what kind of infections you can get from bandit knives, those shiteaters.”

“Grandfather…” Nevin admonished.

He waved Nevin off. “I’m old, I can curse as much as I want. I’m sure she doesn’t mind anyway, right?” he asked Leah.

She shook her head. “No… no, they are shiteaters. But…” she took a breath and tried to collect her thoughts. “I don’t understand, what is elfroot? I’ve never heard of it. Are there any side effects, or…”

The old man and Nevin gave each other a confused look.

“You’ve… never heard of elfroot?” the old man said.

“No, why? Should I have?” Leah asked.

“Well... where are you from exactly?”

“Milwaukee,” Leah said.

The old man and Nevin gave her a blank look.

“Can’t say I’ve ever heard of it,” the old man said. “Is that in Nevarra? Rivain?”

Leah furrowed her brow and shook her head. “No… I don’t know what those places are. It’s in America. You know America, right?”

The old man still looked confused.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Leah said, half to them and half to herself. “Okay, let’s try this another way. Where are we right now? City, country, hemisphere, whatever you’ve got.”

The old man cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose the nearest city is Highever. The road leads there eventually, although it would still take at least a half a day to get there. This is all Ferelden, though.”

Leah waited, expecting more. “And? Where is Ferelden? What country? Continent?”

Nevin spoke up this time. “Ferelden is the country, miss. In the south of Thedas.”

Leah looked from him to the old man, then shook her head. “This is crazy. My geography isn’t that bad. I’ve never heard of any of these places.”

The old man spoke again. “We’re headed into the village on the other side of this forest. There’s a man there by the name of Moore who may be able to help. He’s a bit more worldly than we are. I’m afraid we’re just two simple merchants.”

Leah fiddled with the potion in her hands. “Yeah… yeah, okay. I guess that’s my best bet, find someone in the village to help,” she acquiesced.

“In the meantime, please drink that potion. You’ll feel better. I promise,” the old man said.

Leah was still a little wary after being attacked, but since the man and his grandson had saved her she decided to trust them. “Sure, okay,” she opened the vial and looked into it, then glanced at her saviors before she tossed the potion back like a shot of alcohol.

The taste wasn’t as bad as she expected. It was a little bitter, but it was subtle and soothing at the same time. She felt the pains from her beating subside, and was surprised to find nothing left of the cut on her neck.

“Wow… that felt worse than it must have been,” she said, touching the spot where the knife had drawn blood.

The old man smiled. “Good ol’ elfroot. Works like a charm. Now, let’s be off! Nevin, ready your crossbow in case those jackasses appear again.”

Nevin sighed. “Yes, grandfather.”

The old man shook the reins and Tiny the not-so-tiny horse took off once more down the road.

Leah tried to take in everything that had just happened, but it was still too much to process. She stopped forcing it and let herself be lulled by Tiny’s steady pace and the soothing sway of the tree branches in the breeze. Before she knew it they had left the forest and could see a village up ahead.

Another thirty minutes later the cart arrived at the edge of the village and the old man stopped Tiny.

“Here we are. Moore’s house is the third one on the right, down this road,” he pointed straight ahead. “But before I let you go, if you’ll accept one more gift?” He gestured to Nevin. “Pull that set of leather armor out of the sack we picked up in Lothering.”

“Grandfather, we need the coin…” Nevin protested.

“Don’t argue. She needs her life more than we need coin,” the old man insisted.

Nevin did as he was told.

The old man handed Leah a pair of leather pants with a matching chestpiece, linen undershirt and boots.

“I can’t accept this,” Leah said, as humbled by the generosity as she was confused by the style of clothing.

“Please, my dear. You’ll lose your toes without something on your feet, and you’ll lose more than a little blood without something to protect you from bandits. We can spare it.”

Leah looked down at the leather, then back up at the old man and Nevin. “Thank you. For everything. I’ll repay you before I go home. Or after. Or… what’s your name anyway?” she asked the old man.

He waved her off. “Who knows anymore. Grandfather is as good as whatever I was called before. Don’t worry about repaying me. You just promise that you’ll help someone else in need someday.”

She smiled. “I can absolutely do that.”

“Good! Hurry up and change in the back of the cart before anyone sees and then be off with you!” the old man said.

Leah blushed at the thought of changing clothes out in the open, but realized she had little choice. The old man and Nevin walked around to the front of the cart to tend to Tiny, giving her what little privacy would be available.

The pants were a little tight, and the boots a little big, but Leah felt much warmer and more comfortable than she expected. When she was finished she approached the old man and Nevin once more.

“Thank you again,” she said, smiling and shaking the old man’s hand.

“Good luck, my dear! I hope you find home again soon.”

Leah headed towards the house that Grandfather had said belonged to Moore. When she was closer, she saw a young man with long dark hair chopping wood outside.

“Excuse me, is this Moore’s house?” Leah asked.

The young man turned and she caught a glimpse of an unexpectedly long and pointed ear. He caught her surprised expression, and frowned at her. “What, like you’ve never seen an elf before?”

Leah opened her mouth to respond, but found she had no idea what to say.

“Hmph. Just go in, don’t expect me to hold the door or announce you or anything. I get paid to cut wood, that’s it.” The young man gave her look of disdain and returned to his work.

Leah was dazed. _Those had to be prosthetics, right?_ she thought to herself. If they were, they were remarkable. She hadn’t been able to tell where his ears ended and the prosthetic began.

She knocked on the wooden door and waited.

After a couple seconds it opened, and a middle aged man with brown hair and a beard appeared. “Yes?”

“Are you Moore?” Leah asked.

“Aye, what do you want?”

Leah was a little annoyed by the brusqueness, but considered that she was a stranger knocking on his door.

“My name is Leah, I was picked up by an old man and his grandson, Nevin. They found me on the road, I’m completely lost and they thought you might be able to help me.”

Moore looked around behind her, then nodded. “Grandfather, eh? Come inside.”

“Does he actually have a name? He wouldn’t tell me.”

“If he does, I don’t know it. He’s just Grandfather. Why did he think I could help you?” Moore asked, sitting down in a chair at a desk.

“I don’t know. I woke up in this field, and I tried to ask them where we were, what city or country. But they didn’t recognize where I was from, and I didn’t recognize the place they said we were… so now I’m here. I’m lost, and I really want to get home,” Leah said.

“So where are you from?” Moore asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Milwaukee. It’s in America,” Leah said.

Moore narrowed his eyes and looked at her, just as confused as Grandfather and Nevin.

“I’m not familiar with those places,” he finally said. “This is Ferelden. In the south of Thedas. Is America in another country?”

Leah sighed, frustrated. “No, no. America is the country. Is this England or something? Everyone has a British accent…”

Moore frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know England either.”

Leah rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have no idea where I am, and no one has any idea where I’m trying to go. This is crazy…”

Moore rose from his chair and walked around the desk towards the door. “I don’t think I can help you. I’m sorry.”

“No, please—” Leah reached out to stop him and he jerked back.

He looked at her strangely. “You need to leave. Now.”

“I need help, can you at least point me in the right direction? Someone else who might know more?” Leah took a step towards him.

“Stay back,” Moore commanded.

Leah shook her head in disbelief. “I just want to go home, why are you acting like I’m here to hurt you?”

“Something’s wrong. I don’t trust you. Turn around and forget you met me.”

“No!” Leah was getting angry. “This is crazy! I’m lost, and you’re sending me out there to be killed by thieves! I don’t know these roads, or these towns, and I need to find someone who can help me!”

Leah kept stepping towards Moore, who retreated in equal measure.

“I’m only warning you once more. Walk out of here while you still can,” he raised his hands up towards her.

“Warning me? I got jumped on a dirt road! And saved by a horse-drawn cart carrying an old man and his grandson wielding a crossbow! Where are the cars?” Leah took another step towards Moore. “Where are the cities? Where are the stores, and the gas stations, and the telephones? I just want to go HOME!”

As soon as Leah said “home,” she felt a surge of electricity pulse through her. The sharpness of the pain made her drop to her knees.

“Fuck,” she gasped and clenched her teeth. The initial jolt passed, but it left a deep ache. After a moment she tried to get up. “What the hell?” She looked up at Moore and saw a crackle of blue energy in his hands. Her eyes widened, and the next second a forceful wave pushed her back, slamming her against the door.

“If you don’t leave and keep babbling this nonsense, the templars will come,” Moore said. “I don’t know if you’re an abomination, or just mad. But those places you said don’t exist. And there’s something off about you, I can sense it. They don’t know I’m a mage, and I’m not going to get found out because of you. Leave now, or I will kill you.”

Leah scrambled to her feet and backed towards the door. She felt for the handle, never taking her eyes off of Moore.

Once outside, she slammed the door behind her. The pain of being shocked and thrown against the door caught up with her and she winced, almost doubling over. She breathed through the worst of it, all while trying to comprehend what she had just felt and heard. She turned and caught the eye of the “elf” she had spoken to, who smirked at her.

Despite her deep breaths she succumbed to the renewed panic threatening to burst loose, and she broke into a run. She bolted away from Moore, away from the forest, through the rest of the village and didn’t stop until she reached a clearing. She hunched over, breathing hard.

“What the fuck was that?” she said, falling to her knees and trembling in the dirt. “Where am I? Where the fuck am I?”

Leah sat and ruminated over the unfamiliar and alarming information she had received during the past day. Her mind ran in circles. She wanted it to be a dream. If it wasn’t, that meant she was somewhere very far away from home, like in some kind of children’s book. A place with magic and elves. One where it was dangerous to be a stranger. But if those stories were right, then there was a way to get back home, right? A door, a hot-air balloon, a mirror. Something.

She got to her feet and started to walk, but didn’t know what direction to go in. She walked in a circle before starting in the direction of the sun, the one familiar thing she had encountered.

Darkness came quickly, and Leah knew she had to find shelter. She saw an outcropping of rock not far away and headed towards it. It wasn’t much, but she could hide underneath for the night.

She huddled against the stone wall, barely covered by the rock above. She knew she should sleep, but every noise in the dark heightened her senses, making it impossible to rest. Even if it had been silent, Leah’s mind wouldn’t let her forget that she was trapped in some unknown place with no idea of what new danger was around the corner. She shivered violently as the dark deepened and the temperature dropped, but her conscious mind didn’t even register the cold. She kept picturing the crackling energy in Moore’s hands and feeling a knife at her throat.

Eventually the sun rose, and light filtered in under the rock. Leah still didn’t want to move, but forced herself to crawl out into the grass. She sat on her knees and looked around. The village was barely visible, and she couldn’t see another building aside from the castle in the distance.

She wondered if there was a point to heading in that direction. Would they turn her away too? Would they think she was dangerous? Would they try to kill her?

In some kind of compromise that only made sense to her terrified mind, Leah headed in a direction between the forest of bandits and knives and the castle of unknown danger. Home was the only thing driving her, despite how impossible it seemed.

Later that day her hunger and injuries caught up with her. Her muscles ached, and she was sure there were bruises from being slammed against Moore’s front door. She remembered the potion that Grandfather had given her.

“Elfroot,” she whispered. She had no idea what it looked like, but Grandfather had made it sound common, so she reasoned that it should be easy to find.

After searching the immediate area for several minutes Leah found one particular plant in multiple areas. She hoped this meant it was elfroot, but knew it was a huge risk. The small dark green leaves seemed like they could mirror the shape of an elf’s ear, and the red fruit it bore was appealing to her empty stomach.

She gathered as much of the plant as she could, and brought it to a stream. She washed the plants before plucking the leaves and berries. She sat alongside the stream with them in her hand, nervous about eating strange vegetation. But she was hungry and in pain, and took the gamble. She stuffed several leaves into her mouth, followed by the fruit. It was on the tart side, but otherwise didn’t send up any red flags. Not that she knew what would. Leah had never been camping a day in her life, and had no survivalist skills. She followed the plants up with several mouthfuls of water.

When nothing bad happened right away, she decided to get up and continue moving. It was disappointing that she hadn’t felt the same relief that the potion had provided, but she considered the fact that she was eating the raw plants versus a prepared concoction. She hoped it just took longer to work.

After walking for another twenty minutes, a pain in her stomach made it very clear that she had eaten the wrong plant. A few minutes later she was vomiting up the leaves and fruits along with every ounce of water in her system. She tried to go back to the stream and drink more water when the vomiting stopped, but she continued to expel everything she imbibed. After a while, she became so disoriented that she couldn’t even remember which direction she was supposed to be walking, and went around in circles.

When she became too tired, she would sink back to her knees against a tree or a large rock and simply sit. She was sick, dehydrated, shivering and unaware of time.

When the sun set again, a part of her remembered that she needed to find someplace out of sight to rest, but the best she could find was a large tree. Sleep came for an hour here or there, but more often she would tremble and listen to animals moving around in the dark around her.

On the third day, Leah had a brief moment of clarity and realized she would die if she didn’t stop her aimless wandering. She no longer trusted herself to find food, and if the plant she ate didn’t stop making her too sick to drink water, she would die here. Away from her family, her friends, her life. She had been circling the castle off in the distance, and realized that was her best bet for help surviving. So she pointed herself towards it.

With a goal in mind, she was able to sleep for a couple of hours that night. The previous sickness along with her injuries still left her exhausted in the morning. She didn’t make much progress towards the castle.

For another full day she made her way in that direction. In the early evening of the next day she could tell that she was close, but doubted whether she would make it. She was so tired. As she stood staring at the castle, her knees buckled and she fell. Her arms shook as she tried to hold herself up, and when she raised her head her vision swam. The next thing she knew, she was on the ground, lying in the grass just like her first day in Thedas. Before she lost consciousness, she swore she heard a dog barking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah wakes up in Castle Cousland and meets her savior(s).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who read Chapter 1, and glowing buckets of gratitude to those who left kudos! You've all given me to boost I need to keep posting chapters. This one is much shorter, I'm still trying to get a feel for the best places to break up the story. The next one will be almost twice as long, so if I have time this week I may try to get it posted a little sooner.

Leah experienced the next couple of days in flashes. Various liquids were poured down her throat, which she sometimes coughed up before she blacked out again. Once she thought she tasted soup. She had a brief memory of a young woman looking down on her. Sometimes there were soft voices.

When she finally woke, she found herself on a bed in a room with one small window that let in soft sunlight. She was out of her leather armor and dressed in linen. She felt sluggish, but well enough to sit up. A few minutes later a girl with pointed ears and a slight stature entered the room with a pitcher. She started when she saw Leah awake.

“Oh! Miss, you’re awake. I uh… here.” She poured some water out into a cup and set the pitcher down, bringing the cup to Leah. “Drink some water, miss. I need to let the healer know. I’ll be right back!”

Leah watched the elven girl leave the room, then looked down at the cup. She was suspicious, but was so thirsty she decided the risk would be worth it. By the time she had finished the water, the girl returned with an older man dressed in robes.

“Ah, there you are! How are you feeling?” He sat down on the bed and held a hand to Leah’s cheek. She felt a strange tingling and jerked back. Her heart raced and she flashed back to Moore’s house.

He pulled his hand back and held it up in an apologetic gesture. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. “I just want to see if you’ve healed. You seem fine enough, you should be able to eat some more and regain your strength.” He turned to the elven girl. “Make sure the cook prepares something a little more hearty for our guest tonight, perhaps a stew. We’ll adjust her food gradually, but I think some solid food is more than called for at this point.”

“I’ll go right away.” She turned to leave the room just as a young woman was entering, and they almost ran into each other. “Oh Miss Cousland! I’m so sorry.”

The young woman laughed. “It’s okay Sylvia, I’m the one that’s sorry!” She patted the elf on the back as they exchanged places.

Leah recognized the reddish brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. It was the woman she saw in her brief flashes of consciousness.

“You’re awake!” the young woman said when she saw Leah.

“I… yes. I think I remember you.”

“Elissa is the one who found you outside Highever. She saved your life by bringing you here,” the man in robes said.

Leah cocked her head, trying to remember. “You… had a dog.”

Elissa grinned. “Bones is the one who found you, he deserves the credit.”

Leah returned the smile. “I meant that I remembered you here. In this room.”

“Oh, yes! I visited as often as I could. You gave us quite a scare!” Elissa said. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I knew Hermes would be able to bring you back though.” She patted the man in robes on the shoulder.

“I appreciate the confidence, Miss Cousland,” Hermes said. “But our patient still has some healing of her own to do. Magic can only do so much!”

 _Magic_ , Leah thought to herself. The lightning in Moore’s hands, the tingling on her cheek when Hermes touched her. It was real magic.

“Yes, but this is great news! I can’t wait to tell mother and father,” Elissa said.

“Of course.” Hermes nodded and stood up. “For now, let’s let her rest.”

“Actually,” Leah interrupted, “I wouldn’t mind if Elissa stayed for a bit. I think it would help.”

Just then a large, muscular dog bounded into the room, panting as he ran around Elissa’s legs. When he spotted Leah he gave a soft bark and wagged his tail.

Elissa laughed. “As long as you don’t mind Bones joining us.” She scratched him behind the ear, and he leaned into it.

Leah smiled at Bones. “I would be honored to have my savior join me for my first minutes of consciousness.”

The dog barked again and nuzzled against Leah’s hand.

“Alright,” Hermes relented. “But I would suggest keeping it short.”

“Of course Hermes,” Elissa said as he left. She took his seat on the bed, then laughed after a moment.

“What?” Leah asked as she petted Bones. .

“I just realized, we haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Elissa, and you are?” She held out her hand.

“Leah. Nice to meet you.” She shook Elissa’s hand.

“Likewise,” Elissa joined in on petting Bones, who was clearly in heaven with two people paying attention to him. After a moment, she spoke again. “This will sound ridiculous given the circumstances, but… how are you? Really?”

Leah continued petting Bones. “I guess I’m as fine as I could be, all things considered.” She pulled away from the dog, who looked disappointed when her hand left his head.

“Of course,” Elissa said. She paused before speaking again. “I realize you only just woke up, and might not feel like talking yet. But I have to ask… what happened to you before we found you?”

Leah could swear that Bones turned towards her to hear her response.

“Hmm,” Leah sighed. She wondered how to respond. So far the truth had only brought trouble, and now that she was somewhat safe again she didn’t think it would be smart to be so honest. Not yet, at least. “I wish I had a better answer. But I don’t know. I don’t remember what happened before you found me,” Leah said. She reasoned that it wasn’t a total lie; she really didn’t know what had happened or how it was possible.

“Oh…” Elissa replied. “Maker, I can’t imagine.”

Leah noted her odd reference to a “maker,” but didn’t react. “It’s pretty bewildering,” she said instead. “I mean, I know who I am. But everything beyond that is… a fog. I barely know where I am.”

“Well, I can at least help you with that. You’re in Highever!” Elissa said, optimistic that Leah would recognize the location.

Leah gave her a sad smile. “Highever. Okay.”

Elissa’s optimism wilted. “Highever? It’s a teyrnir in the North of Ferelden. It’s… my father is the teyrn.”

Leah furrowed her brow and looked down, as if deep in thought. “Ferelden sounds familiar, at least.”

Elissa exhaled slowly. “I guess that’s something. Whatever caused your memory loss certainly did its job well. Do you think you’re from Ferelden, then? Or… no. You don’t sound Ferelden. Honestly, you sound…” Elissa chuckled.

“What?” Leah asked.

“You sound like you’re from Orzammar. One of the dwarves.”

Leah’s eyebrows shot up, then she laughed. “It would explain the memory loss, if I was such a giant freak they attacked me and left me for dead.”

“That’s horrible!” Elissa said.

Leah shrugged. “So is not knowing where I am or how I got here.”

“I’ll bet you’re a traveler. You’ve probably lived everywhere, so now you sound like you’re from anywhere.”

Leah shrugged. “I guess that makes some sense. Sounds like an exciting life, at least.”

“Very exciting. I’d love to see more of the world, but I haven’t had much of a chance being stuck here,” Elissa confessed. “I love my family, but I want something more out of my life. Some adventure.”

Leah thought for a second. “Be careful what you wish for. Adventure is exciting, but it’s dangerous too.”

“Look at you, all wise for someone with no memory of their exhilarating life of world travel.” Elissa gave Leah a gentle shove.

Leah gave her a small smile. “Maybe some of it is leaking through the fog.”

“Hmm.” Elissa nudged Bones’ head off the bed and stood up. “Well, I should let you rest or Hermes will be back to pester me. I’ll see you later.” She walked towards the door and patted her thigh to encourage Bones to follow her.

“I’m not going anywhere. I mean, I can’t remember where home is, let alone the front door,” Leah quipped.

Elissa groaned. “Stop making me laugh at your misfortune, I feel terrible.”

“I’d rather laugh about it than cry,” Leah croaked, her voice almost breaking.

Elissa stopped in the doorway and sighed. “You have a point. I promise to laugh at your jokes from now on.”

“I look forward to your pity laughs,” Leah said.

Elissa chuckled as she and Bones left the room, closing the door behind them.

Leah gave a slow exhale once they were gone. It wasn’t easy hiding the truth, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to do so for long. Surely in a place with magic there would be a way— a spell, a ritual, something— to pop her back home. She just had to be patient.

With that in mind, Leah laid back down in the bed and let herself drift back to a healing, peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah's friendship with Elissa grows, she meets a few others at Castle Cousland, and even gets her first taste of swordplay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I had a little more I wanted to add to this chapter than was originally written, so it's only one day early but it is much longer and more fleshed out. I'm much happier with it. Thanks as always for reading! :)

Elissa and Bones came by to visit Leah at least once a day, and by the end of that week she was feeling as strong as she had when she first arrived in Ferelden. Friday afternoon, Elissa arrived with some clothes in her arms.

“I’ve brought you a present!” She grinned as she entered the room.

“Is it a kitten you’ve hidden inside that bundle of clothing? If so, I accept wholeheartedly,” Leah joked.

Elissa laughed and tossed the clothes onto Leah’s lap. “Sorry, no. Just some clean clothes.”

Leah inspected the long skirt, blouse and vest. “Wow, this is… nice. Very nice. Thank you.”

“Well, don’t be too thankful just yet. There’s an invitation attached to these clothes for you to join me, my parents, my brother and his family for dinner tonight,” Elissa admitted.

Leah chuckled and nodded. “I see. You want me presentable to meet your family. Are my pajamas not good enough?”

“No, not even close. And leather armor wouldn’t really be appropriate either, so… you get semi-fancy,” Elissa said.

“What, you don’t get fancy-fancy for dinner in the Cousland castle?”

“Orlesian ball gowns don’t go with lamb stew, the color palette is all wrong,” Elissa joked back.

Leah looked at her with a blank face.

“Oh, right. Um… Orlais, very ornate and fancy and bejeweled. Versus Ferelden, of the grey, mushy food.”

Leah blinked. “Right. Of course.” She looked down at the clothes, and considered how difficult the dinner conversation might be to navigate.

“My parents are very much looking forward to meeting you, and seeing you well. I’ve told them about your… condition. They won’t ask too many questions, I promise.”

Leah nodded and tried to smile. “I’m sure it will be great. And I’m glad, I’d like a chance to thank your parents in person for their generosity. They didn’t have to take me in like this.”

“If I had anything to say about it they did!” Elissa insisted. “But they’re kind people, they would have done so anyway. I’m just impossible to resist is all.”

Leah smirked. “I’ll bet your brother would disagree.” She thought about her own siblings and how they would react to a stranger in their home.

“Fergus adores me,” she insisted. “He would do anything for his baby sister. Now go try on the clothes I brought you!” Elissa herded Leah towards the folding screen on one side of the room.

“Yes ma’am.” Leah saluted her as she shuffled behind the chestnut frame and ivory paper panels. Once she was well enough, she had been able to bathe and change her pajama-like linens, so she hadn’t had to stew in dirty clothes the entire week. But it was still nice to put on brand new, clean ones again.

“This will be fun,” Elissa said as Leah changed. “Usually when we have guests for dinner they’re boring nobles passing through Highever. I’m glad you’ll get to dine with us instead.”

“I hope you haven’t oversold me to your parents. I’m afraid I won’t have much to add to the conversation,” Leah commented as she pulled on the gifted garments.

“That’s silly, of course you will!” Elissa said.

“Oh, you mean about how I don’t know Orlesian from Dwarven fashion? How everything I know came from the last week of lying in a room of their castle? Yeah, fascinating.”

“That doesn’t matter. You’re still you.”

“Sure, whoever that is.” Leah finished dressing and came around the screen. “How do I look?”

“It’s perfect! Oh, but your hair…”

Leah’s light blond hair was a loose mess from from her time spent in bed. “Right, that. Maybe a braid?”

Elissa brightened. “Yes, definitely. Stand here, I’ll do it.” She positioned Leah in front of her and began separating strands of hair for the braid.

“I know what’s happening here,” Leah said after a few seconds.

“What do you mean?”

“You have a brother.”

Elissa frowned in confusion. “Yes, of course I do. What has Fergus got to do with me braiding your hair?”

“You never had a sister. A girl you could dress up, whose hair you could braid, who you could share secret jokes with at family dinners…” Leah trailed off.

Elissa was silent for a moment. “Well, no. I mean, I didn’t have a sister, but that doesn’t—”

Leah smiled, even though Elissa couldn’t see her. “It’s fine, I’m just teasing you.”

“Now teasing is something I know all about. Fergus was the worst when he was younger.”

“Do you two still get along well?” Leah asked.

“Oh, we get along just fine. He has a family, so he’s busy. But I think things worked out well despite all the times he pulled my hair and pushed me in the mud. How’s that?” Elissa finished the braid and threw it over Leah’s shoulder.

“Perfect. Thank you,” Leah felt a pang for her own sisters at that moment, but swallowed the lump in her throat.

“In that case, I will see you in a couple hours! I’ll send Sylvia up to fetch you.” Elissa moved to leave.

“Sylvia?” Leah asked.

“Oh, Sylvia, the elf that you met? She’ll let you know when dinner is served,” Elissa skirted the issue of Sylvia being a servant.

“Right. Sylvia. Should be fun,” Leah said.

 

* * *

Later that evening Sylvia knocked softly at the door. “Miss, dinner is ready,” she called out as she opened the door.

Leah rose from her seat on the bed. “Thank you so much Sylvia. I’m sorry I didn’t get your name earlier, I’m Leah,” she held out her right hand.

Sylvia looked at Leah’s hand with confusion, then curtsied in response. “Thank you miss, I’m glad you’re doing well. Please follow me,” she gestured towards the door.

Leah pulled her hand back and gave it an awkward rub with her other hand. She exited the small room that had been her home the past several days.

Sylvia led her to a dining hall with a long wooden table, and tapestries lining the walls. Leah could only compare it to scenes from films she had seen. At one end was an older man that she assumed was Elissa’s father, with a woman that must have been Elissa’s mother at the other end. Elissa was seated on the opposite side from the entrance, and waved at her. As Leah moved to her seat she noted a man with a darker version of Elissa’s hair seated across the table. A woman and young boy sat next to him. She knew this must be Fergus and his family.

“Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner,” Leah said before sitting down.

“We’re happy to have you,” Elissa’s mother said. “And we’re glad you’ve recovered so quickly. From what Hermes said you were in bad shape when Elissa found you.”

Leah nodded. “I’m very grateful for both Elissa and Hermes. I know I would have died out there without them.” She thought for a second. “If I’m honest, I don’t even feel worthy to dine with you. I owe you so much.”

Elissa’s father responded this time. “Don’t be silly, you’re our guest. It’s not as if we’re royalty. We care about what happens to people within the teyrn. Please, eat.”

Leah smiled and politely dove into the meal. They had what she thought was chicken with potatoes and another root vegetable similar to a carrot. It seemed like a feast, considering her diet had consisted of soups and stews until now.

After a few minutes Elissa’s mother spoke again. “Have you had any improvement in your memory? I know Elissa said you no longer remembered anything before she found you.”

“Mother...” Elissa said.

“I had five minutes,” said Fergus. “You owe me one silver.” He grinned at Elissa.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Their mother set her fork down and looked between the two.

“I bet Elissa you would ask our guest a question about her memory loss within five minutes, and she swore up and down you would take at least ten.”

“You what!” Teyrna Cousland glared at her son.

Fergus shrugged.

“Fergus was right,” Elissa grumbled. “Mother, she doesn’t remember anything. Please don’t press the issue.”

Leah blushed. “I’m sorry if my condition has caused any problems. I can leave if it makes you uncomfortable,” she looked at Teyrna Cousland.

“I said no such thing!” Elissa’s mother seemed flustered herself, but attempted to keep up appearances by focusing on her dinner. “I was merely asking after our guest. My children apparently think little of me.”

Elissa and Fergus made faces at each other, clearly having some private joke at their mother’s expense.

Leah interjected in order to save face. “You’re right, you’ve been very gracious. This is my own insecurity— I felt so indebted to you. It’s been disorienting, not remembering what happened before I arrived on your doorstep. But everyone has been so welcoming, from Sylvia to Hermes to Elissa. They’ve tried to make me feel at home, and you have a wonderful one.”

Elissa gave Fergus an impressed look and popped a chunk of potato in her mouth.

Her mother looked relieved. “Thank you, I appreciate that. My children can be ridiculous, but I’m glad you’ve been comfortable here. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. Your family must be very worried about you.”

Leah’s face fell. “Yes, I imagine they are.”

“It’s unfortunate. I wish we could do more to help you find your way home,” Teyrn Cousland said. “But I’ve been thinking… until you recover your memory, perhaps you’d like to stay?”

Everyone looked at Leah, and she froze. “I… am grateful for the offer. I wouldn’t know where to go anyway,” she chuckled nervously. “If you’d like, I would be happy to serve your family in any way you see fit.”

The teyrn smiled. “We can always use an extra soldier in our forces. I’m sure our veterans can help you rediscover your preferred combat style.”

Leah’s eyes widened at the mention of combat. Then she remembered: they had found her in leather armor. To them, that must have implied she had experience with a weapon, even if she didn’t have one on her. Leah almost protested, but when Elissa caught her eye and signaled a strong nod, she agreed. “Yes, that sounds perfect. Perhaps training will trigger some of my memories,” she bluffed.

Teyrn Cousland nodded. “Yes, that’s a good point. Physical altercations do create strong memories.”

“Well, that’s settled!” Elissa said. “You can continue recovering, and transition into our forces! I’ll help you train as well, I could always use a new sparring partner.”

Leah smiled at her. “That sounds great. Thank you. Thank all of you.” She looked around at the table.

“You’re very welcome, my dear. I hope you’ll be very happy in Highever,” Teyrna Cousland said.

 

* * *

A couple days later Leah was moved into the barracks and given basic armor. She didn’t have a private room anymore, but she felt it was worth the trade to feel healthy and temporarily safe.

The first person she met in her room was a young man with shoulder length bright red hair.

“You’re the new recruit, aren’t you?” He held out a hand to greet her. “Name’s Arthur, we’ll be paired up for some patrols.”

“Hi Arthur, I’m Leah,” she said as she shook his hand.

“I’ll be kind of like your mentor until you get the hang of things. Which honestly, won’t take long. You walk around the castle, and keep a sharp eye out. You won’t do much more than that until you’ve put in some time and experience. Sergeant Hale will train you starting tomorrow, that’s not my area.”

Leah breathed and nodded. “Okay, sounds good. How long have you worked here?”

Arthur blew out a breath and thought. “Coming on four years, I think. I was sixteen when I left my family’s farm.”

Leah balked. “Sixteen? Wow, that’s young.”

“Not really, I reckon most of the blokes and ladies here started within a couple years of that. But I was eager to leave. I wasn’t keen on following in my father’s footsteps,” Arthur said.

“Fair enough,” Leah smiled.

Arthur paused, then grimaced. “I’d ask about your family, but I heard about your memory loss. Don’t want you to think I’m impolite or nothing, though.”

Leah paled. “Oh. No, that’s fine. I appreciate it.”

“I don’t know if this is good or bad news, but most of the soldiers have heard about it by now as well, I reckon. Gossip spreads fast amongst our kind.”

“‘Our kind?’” Leah echoed.

“Soldiers,” Arthur tilted his head. “Especially those of us who have less exciting tasks around the castle. Not much else to do except talk.”

“Ah, right. Well thank you for the warning. Maybe it is best, it would get a little frustrating to have to keep telling people over and over again,” Leah admitted.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry to hear it. Must be difficult. I can’t imagine forgetting everything like that. My childhood, my family, even my training. It’s a tough road, that.”

Leah nodded. “It is. And thank you. I’m glad to have you around to help get me oriented here though,” she smiled.

Arthur returned the smile. “You’ve got a good attitude about it, at least. And I’m glad as well. I think we’ll get on quite well, you and I.”

“I think so too,” Leah agreed.

 

* * *

The day after she moved into the barracks she began training.

After speaking generally to all of the soldiers, her sergeant pulled her aside. “I understand you have some… unique circumstances. We’ll start you off training on dummies with the other recruits, but watch the others and learn from them. Afterwards I want you to try sparring so I can see how much work we have ahead of us.”

Leah nodded. “Yes ser.”

She was given her own rudimentary sword and shield, and she did her best to keep up with the training exercises. Her coordination wasn’t bad; she picked up on how to swing her sword, and using her shield in tandem with her blade to attack her foe. But her arms began to grow tired, and her fellow recruits showed no signs of waning strength.

By the time sparring began, she was already exhausted. She watched some of the other recruits, and they held their own even when they did lose a match. Leah’s stomach was in knots. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up with her opponent, and a crowd of both new and experienced soldiers had gathered around the ring.

“Leah and Gerald, you’re up!” her sergeant barked.

Leah entered the sparring area. Gerald looked to be a few years her junior, but he was in much better shape than she was, and he already seemed at ease with a sword. He had barely broken a sweat during the training exercises.

Gerald nodded to her and she returned the gesture.

They circled each other. Leah was afraid to make the first strike. After a few seconds, Gerald took the initiative and she tried to counter his sword with her own. Her arm was like a spear of overcooked asparagus compared to his. She barely pushed the attack aside, and their blades scraped against each other.

Leah tried to take the offensive, but Gerald’s defenses felt like she was striking a brick wall.

He took the advantage and pressed her, forcing her to take a few steps back. When he brought his sword down, she crouched and held her shield up. She grunted as she took the impact of his swing.

Gerald retreated a couple steps, and Leah made the mistake of standing. He pursued her once again and made a series of strikes which she deflected with her shield. She jumped back each time to get away from him. In a final blow, Gerald used his own shield to hit her to the ground, on her back.

The sergeant called the match. “That’s enough. Good work, Gerald.” He moved over to Leah to help her up. “Looks like we’ll have our work cut out for us,” he said in a lower voice, just to her.

Leah reddened. “Yes ser,” her voice trembled.

She looked around the sparring area and saw her fellow recruits eyeing her. Other soldiers in the crowd chuckled and whispered to each other.

The sergeant called a break, so Leah retreated to a corner of the courtyard to lean against the castle and lick her wounds. Elissa found her there.

“Hello, how’s it going?” Elissa’s tone rang high and awkward. She cleared her throat and corrected herself. “I don’t know why I said that, I already know how it’s going, I’m so sorry.”

Leah pushed herself off the stone wall. “You caught that humiliating display, huh? You and everyone else in the castle, it seems.” She rolled her shoulders back and winced. “I might have to live the rest of my life without arms. I think they’ve died.”

“It will get better!” Elissa said, her usual optimism shining through. “Maybe you’ll be more skilled with a dagger? Or a bow?”

Leah perked up at the thought of a bow. She remembered enjoying archery at the summer camp she used to attend. It had been years since she used a bow, but she had always wanted to pick it up again at one of those urban indoor archery ranges. “You might be right. But I still need to be able to wield a sword.” She continued to stretch her arms to loosen her sore muscles.

“I’ll help! I’ve been training since I was in pigtails,” Elissa said.

“You don’t have to do that. I already owe you more than I could ever repay.”

“No, I want to! But on one condition: you can’t hold back. Other soldiers let me beat them because I’m a Cousland. You’re not allowed to do that, you have to give it your all.”

Leah sighed. “Okay, but my all is much less than what you would see from the rest of your soldiers. Or even your recruits, it seems.”

“Deal,” Elissa said, smiling. “And we’ll try everything, see if we can find your strength.”

“Deal,” Leah echoed. “So… want to see what it’s like to spar with a toddler?”

Elissa chuckled. “It’s not that bad.”

“You’re right: a drunk toddler,” Leah said.

Elissa laughed more. “En guard, drunk baby.”

“Hey! Toddler. Not baby. I have some muscle control,” Leah waved her sword and took a defensive stance, then stuck her tongue out at Elissa.

The two women practiced swordplay and made jokes about toddler warriors until both their arms and their stomachs were sore.

After they had both recovered Elissa approached Leah with a skillfully crafted bow.

“I’ve been wondering how toddlers are at archery,” she said.

Leah grinned. “Let’s go find out.”

They traveled to a remote part of the forest with two bows and a few dozen arrows.

“My mother is quite skilled with a bow, but I’ve never taken to it. I can still show you the ba—”

Before Elissa could finish her sentence Leah had selected an arrow, nocked it and found the center of a tree trunk a few yards away.

“YOU’RE AN ARCHER!” Elissa declared, arms in the air in victory.

Leah laughed at her pose. “I shot a tree. They aren’t exactly elusive targets.”

“But that was an amazing shot!” Elissa said. “You did that without any instruction! I couldn’t have done that, Fergus still can’t do that. Maker’s breath, half the army can’t even do that.”

“Unless the people I have to fight are made of wood, I don’t think this is as useful as you believe it is,” Leah said.

“But it’s fantastic!” she said. “Be glad!”

Leah lowered her bow. “You are much more optimistic than I am.”

Elissa grabbed more arrows and slapped them into Leah’s hand. “Damn right. Do it again,” she grinned.

Leah couldn’t help but smile back. “Yes Miss Cousland.”

“And don’t call me that. Shoot that tree!”

Four out of five of Leah’s arrows hit close to the center of the tree, and Elissa celebrated each time.

“Okay, but I do need to improve my swordwork,” Leah said after her last arrow. “Maybe I have this down, but I am still terrible at defending against sword attacks. What magic do you have for that?”

“No magic, just practice,” Elissa said seriously. “We can spar more tomorrow morning if you like? Unless you want to peruse the library for new techniques?”

“The library?” Leah asked.

“Yes, it’s on the fourth floor of the castle. It isn’t a comprehensive collection, but I think we have most basic topics covered. Especially in regards to combat. I can tell the librarian to allow you access if you like.”

Leah wondered if the their library might have an equal number of books about magic. “Yes, that would be perfect. Anything to help me improve.”

“Consider it done,” Elissa said. “Now, I want to see you shoot a leaf off that tree in the distance.” She gestured towards a tree several yards away.

Leah raised an eyebrow and pulled the bow back. “Which leaf?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah spends her time at Castle Cousland training and doing research, but is distracted by one of her fellow guards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time things get a little steamy, but Maker, it surely won't be the last. There's nothing graphic, and I'll employ the "fade to black" tactic for the rest of the story as well.

Over the next few weeks Leah worked hard to improve her strength and skill with a sword. She trained with the other recruits, then worked with Elissa until she was exhausted. With all of the physical activity, she saw her body change quickly. Her muscles grew stronger, and gave her a more athletic physique, especially in her upper body. She had to admit, it felt amazing. She had never felt more powerful than when she perfectly executed a series of attacks and blocks against an opponent.

“I have to confess something,” Elissa said one day while they were sparring.

“What’s that?” Leah asked, countering Elissa’s strike with her sword.

“Up until last week, I’d been holding back. A lot.” 

Leah paused and chuckled. “After you made me promise that I wouldn’t? Some friend you are,” she teased.

Elissa took Leah’s strikes with her shield. “I know! I’m sorry. But you’ve improved so much! I’ve been giving more of my all the last few days, and you’ve still done incredibly well!”

“I still can’t beat you, though,” Leah pointed out.

Elissa smirked. “Nope, and you won’t. It would take you years to do that. But honestly,” she grunted as Leah renewed her attacks. “You’ve given me more than other soldiers have, and I’m grateful for the challenge.”

“Just give me a few more weeks, you may regret saying that.” Leah grinned as she ducked under Elissa’s sword.

Elissa’s laughed. “Okay, okay.” She held her sword and shield back. “Let’s take a break.”

“Fine by me,” Leah said, breathing heavily. She placed her sword and shield on the ground and sat down on a nearby log.

Elissa joined her with some water, which they shared. “So,” she said. “How have things been? You know, training aside. Have you gotten to know any of the other soldiers?”

Leah took a sip of water and passed it back to Elissa. “A couple. Most of them… well, maybe I shouldn’t say,” she hesitated.

“No! If there’s something wrong I want to know. What is it?” Elissa encouraged her.

Leah sighed. “They see how inexperienced I am. I think they resent the fact that I didn’t earn this job. Not like they did. I can’t really blame them.”

“That’s not fair,” Elissa grumbled. “Something awful happened to you, you can’t help that.”

“That doesn’t excuse my lack of strength. They’re not wrong. What your parents did for me was beyond generous. I didn’t do anything to deserve that,” Leah said.

“So what, are they treating you badly because of it? Because so help me—”

“What?” Leah cut her off. “You’ll tell them to start being nicer?”

Elissa huffed. “Yes? No. I suppose I see your point.”

“It’s okay, really,” Leah reassured her. “They aren’t cruel to me or anything, they just… pretend I don’t exist? I can take it. And it’s not all bad, the first person I met was Arthur, and he’s been great. I do most of my patrols with him. He’s fun to talk to, and he doesn’t care a bit about how I got here or why. So don’t worry.”

“I’m glad for that, at least we have one decent soldier in our forces,” Elissa said.

Leah gave her a sad smile. “Many of them are decent. Like I said, I don’t blame them. That’s why I work so hard to be better, so I can show them I’m not just a charity case. I’ll earn my place here. Besides, Arthur isn’t the only one.”

“Okay, okay. So who else have you befriended thus far? I’ll take note the next time we’re looking to promote someone,” Elissa said.

Leah rolled her eyes. “I’m sure your father doesn’t promote based on kindness.”

“I know. But in all seriousness, I do want to hear more.”

“Well, one of the other soldiers I’ve been paired up with during patrols is Marcus. He’s very nice,” Leah mused.

Elissa picked up on Leah’s tone and raised an eyebrow. “Nice as in ‘polite’ or nice as in ‘Maker that’s a man I’d love to be alone with,’”

Leah blushed. “Maybe both,” she said. While getting home was still a priority, she was only human and Marcus was an attractive man. He was lean and muscular with tanned skin, thick black hair and dark eyes to match. It didn’t hurt that he was humble and witty as well.

“Oh my,” Elissa grinned. “Please go on.”

Leah laughed. “He doesn’t seem to care about my memory loss, or my inexperience. He treats me like anyone else. He’s funny and charming. And I could have sworn the last time we patrolled together that he was flirting with me.”

“Really? What did he say?”

“Well, I said that he had probably heard everything he needed to know about me from the gossip going around. And he said that wasn’t at all true. The gossip was all about my memory loss, and not knowing where I came from. But he was far more curious to know what my laugh would sound like, and what kinds of things he could say to me to find out.”

“Oh Maker, that’s good. What did you say?”

Leah smirked. “That he couldn’t go wrong with a dirty joke.”

Elissa gave a hearty laugh. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, I absolutely did. I want to see that man blush while he says filthy things to me.”

“You’re awful,” Elissa shook her head. “In that case, when is your first tryst and will you tell me all about it?” she teased her.

“How am I supposed to do that? We don’t have our own private rooms, you know.”

“Damn, I didn’t think of that,” Elissa said. “I’m sure there are plenty of places around the castle where you can find some privacy. The other soldiers must have some way, right?”

Leah shrugged. “If they would talk to me, maybe I could find out.”

Elissa groaned. “Can I help? What can I do?”

“Nothing. Let me figure it out, okay?” Leah said.

“Fine. But you will tell me? When it happens?” Elissa grabbed Leah’s hands.

“I promise. At least I know you wouldn’t get us in trouble. I can’t imagine the commanding officers encourage this type of thing.”

“They’re just jealous,” Elissa whispered dramatically. “They wish they could be having a romantic interlude in between training and missions.”

“It’s called sex, Elissa,” Leah said.

“But it’s romantic because it’s forbidden,” Elissa argued.

Leah squinted and thought. “No, still sex. Exciting and forbidden sex.”

Elissa fanned herself. “Damn right it is.”

 

* * *

Leah let out a sharp breath as she sorted through the dozen books she had laid out on the table in the library. The many nights she spent there were starting to blend together, and she didn’t remember which books she had already looked at and which she didn’t. So far she hadn’t found anything even close to a way home, at least not in a way she could understand. At best, the books referenced portals without specific details that would help her either find them or call them. Comprehending magic in Thedas was a complicated task, and based on how it was going so far it would take her years to figure it all out.

“Late night?” a voice said from the doorway.

Leah jumped and spun around, but exhaled and relaxed when she saw a familiar face.

“Marcus, I didn’t hear you,” Leah said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Marcus said. He moved a couple steps into the room. “What are you doing up here?”

“Just reading.” Leah gestured towards the books she had spread out on the table. “Relearning everything. I get lost sometimes.”

“Right, the memory loss,” he said. “You seem to be doing well, though. Your swordplay has improved quite a bit.”

Leah shrugged. “I spend a lot of time training with Elissa.”

“She is a talented warrior, but I don’t think that alone is the reason. You must have held a sword before. I think you’re starting to remember. And you are good.”

Leah sighed, crossed her arms and leaned back against the table. She wanted to blurt out everything, that she’d never held a weapon in her life, that she remembered everything, that she was trying to find a way home. She pushed her swirling thoughts away and managed a sad half-smile. “Thanks, but you don’t know that,” she said quietly.

She realized the conversation was becoming a downer, and that was hardly the impression she wanted to make. She wanted to keep researching, but she was torn. _Would it really be so bad to enjoy myself for one damn night while I’m here?_ Leah thought to herself. She tried to come up with a way to redirect.

“I mean, it’s entirely possible that I didn’t,” she said in a brighter tone. “I could have been anyone in the world. What if… I don’t know, what if I was a queen who fled a foreign land, and I never had to hold a sword because I had thousands of soldiers ready to sacrifice themselves for me?”

Marcus stepped towards her with an amused smile. “Well, even queens need to defend themselves. All it takes is one assassin to find one weak link in your personal guard, one opening into your life, one opportunity to gain your trust. And there you are, being seduced by your would-be murderer moments before your untimely death. Being quick with a dagger or a sword becomes important.”

Leah rested her hands behind her on the table and thought some more. “Hmm… in that case I still wouldn’t need a weapon. I could use my irresistible charm to seduce them first. Then they couldn’t bear to end my life,” she grinned.

Marcus looked her over and smiled. “That I believe,” he moved even closer.

She felt a heat pass over her and her throat go dry. “I wish there were more books in here about queens charming assassins out of killing them. My nights in the library would be much more exciting.”

“You mean you don’t find Henry Lannon’s _Notable Fortresses, Castles, Towers and Other Edifices of Interest in Ferelden_ absolutely riveting?” Marcus joked.

Leah chuckled. “That can’t be a real book.”

Marcus nodded gravely. “Of course it is. Unless I hallucinated reading it, but I’d like to believe my mind is capable of wilder fantasies than that. It’s actually not that bad if you’re interested in… well, edifices. You seem more like an _Aveline, Knight of Orlais_ kind of woman.”

“Be still my heart, you’re a reader,” Leah raised an eyebrow. “You aren’t secretly an assassin looking for a woman with memory loss, right?”

He tilted his head. “I think we’ve established that even if I were, I wouldn’t stand a chance against the likes of you.” He closed the remaining distance between them and took her chin in one hand.

“That’s not an answer,” Leah chuckled.

Their lips met in a kiss that started out gentle, then grew more eager.

Marcus pulled back. “Don’t worry,” he said. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. “I’m too much of a soldier to be an assassin. So,” he paused, brushing her lips with his. “What does my queen require of me?”

Leah’s entire body pulsed with the beat of her heart. “You’re going to need to take off your armor.”

“Just my armor?” Marcus asked. He released her and took his gloves off.

“You’re going to spoil the rest of the story if you try to skip ahead,” Leah teased.

“I think I already know what’s going to happen next.” Marcus continued to remove his armor.

“Then I have you right where I want you, woefully unprepared for a shocking plot twist,” Leah said.

When Marcus was finished, he embraced her again.

“There, now what—”

Leah stopped him mid-sentence with a deep kiss, her hands running under his linen shirt to feel his body skin to skin.

He pressed into her and groaned against her lips.

Leah broke off the kiss. “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

Marcus looked her in the eye with a fiery intensity. He picked her up and sat her on the table, then pushed his hands under her own shirt to touch her as well. Leah pulled the garment over her head and laid back on the wood, pushing books out of the way. Marcus climbed up on the table with her.

“If you don’t mind, I’ve a few thoughts on what that assassin might like to do for his Queen.” His lips hovered over Leah’s.

“Yes please…” Leah gasped.

 

* * *

After making love in the library, Leah and Marcus were lying on top of one of the tables, catching their breath. The sound of new footsteps echoed down the hallway.

Marcus breathed in sharply and sat up. “Shit…”

Leah launched herself off the table. “Hurry, take your clothes and armor and hide back that way.” She gestured towards a shadowy corner of the library. “I’ll deal with them.” She put her clothes on in record time.

Marcus did as she said just in time for the approaching soldier to enter the library.

“Hello…?” a voice said. It was Julianna, one of the few other women in Highever’s forces. Leah had attempted to be friendly with her early on, but Julianna gave her the cold shoulder from the start.

Leah rushed to the doorway. “Hi!”

“What are you doing here so late?”

Leah shrugged. “Just got lost in a book. I’m finishing up though. I’ll lock up when I leave.”

Julianna raised an eyebrow and briefly scanned the room, but seemed satisfied by the answer. “Be sure that you do.”

“Yep! See you tomorrow,” Leah said with fake enthusiasm. When Julianna was out of earshot she looked for Marcus.

He stepped out of the corner with his clothes and armor back on. “Well that was bracing.”

Leah laughed. “I assume this,” she gestured between them, “is frowned upon.”

Marcus grimaced. “That’s the long and short of it. What’s worse is the gossip amongst the other soldiers.”

“I can imagine,” Leah said. “Oh wait, I don’t have to! They already gossip about me.” She tried to smile, but it fell flat.

Marcus looked at her and sighed. “They’re idiots with nothing much in their own life to talk about.” He walked closer to her and stroked her cheek with his hand. “And you are clearly a woman worth talking about.”

Leah pulled his hand down. “It’s fine. I understand it. I don’t belong here, not really. They see it.”

“They’re jealous. In a couple months you’ve accomplished skill that has taken them years to learn. You belong here more than some of them do. Trust me.”

Leah looked up at him. “You’re very sweet to lie to me, but it might be more effective before the forbidden sex in the library. Just something to think about,” she smirked.

Marcus opened his mouth to say something, then shut it. He cleared his throat. “I’m not just saying that because…” he gestured between the two of them, “Of this. It’s the truth. I don’t know how you don’t see it, but you’ve earned your place here as much as anyone. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Leah tilted her head. “I’ll think about it.”

Marcus put his arms around her waist. “You’re also beautiful and clever and so, so…” he trailed off and swallowed hard. “Can we do this again sometime?”

She grinned and kissed him. “Definitely.”

 

* * *

The next morning Leah was on patrol with Arthur. He was chattering on about the usual: weapons, weather, food. She pretended to be listening, but her mind kept wandering back to her night with Marcus. Out of nowhere Arthur shoved her, causing her to stumble.

“Hey, what’s that for?” she asked.

“Have you been listening to a thing I’ve said all morning?”

“Sure. You were going on about breakfast or something,” Leah responded.

“That was an hour ago.” Arthur crossed his arms.

Leah grimaced. “Sorry. My mind is just… elsewhere today.”

“I noticed,” he said, and they resumed walking towards the front of the castle. “I know you were in the library late again, but this isn’t your typical tired fog.”

“What do you mean?” Leah said. “Of course it is.”

“No, usually you’re an absolute bear the next morning. Cranky and grumbling. This is different. You’ve had a smile on your face this whole time. You’re in a good mood. What did you find?”

“Nothing!” Leah protested. “Can’t I just be in a good mood for once?”

As they passed by the entrance to the castle a group of fellow guards were walking out. One of them was Marcus, and as he passed by he winked at her.

Leah blushed and smiled. She watched him walk away.

Arthur’s eyes went wide. “Ohhh! Andraste’s knickers! That’s what you were doing last night!”

“Keep it down!” she hissed. “You want everyone to find out?”

“That explains why you’re in a good mood!”

“If you don’t lower your voice right now, I’ll make sure next time you get paired up with Jason for patrols,” she said. Jason wasn’t a bad guy, but Arthur didn’t like working with him. Jason hated small talk, and would purposely walk a few paces ahead of Arthur to avoid talking to him.

“Alright, alright! No need for threats. About time you had some fun. Besides,” he nodded in Marcus’ direction, “I like Marcus. He’s a decent bloke.”

“Thanks for your approval,” Leah smirked. “He is though, isn’t he?”

 

* * *

In the darkest hours of the following night, Leah tossed and turned as she dreamed.

In the dream, she was out at a bar with her friends. They sat around a large table, the remains of their dinner still in front of them, along with many glasses from their series of drinks. They told stories from college; of drunken nights in the dorm, embarrassing speeches in class, sordid rumors of classmates. They laughed and joked without a care in the world.

“Hold on, hold on,” Leah said as she stood up from her seat. She swayed a bit. “I need to pee, but I have a great story about Maggie. Be right back!”

She worked her way over to the bathroom, dancing a bit to a good song playing over the PA. She entered the bathroom and took a quick look in the mirror first. She fixed a smudge or two from her makeup. As soon as she finished someone grabbed her from behind and held a dagger to her throat. When she looked in the mirror to see her assailant, it was a man in leather armor. Behind him there were no bathroom stalls, no tiled walls. It was a dense forest.

“Well well, what do we have here?” the man said in her ear.

Leah gripped his arm and screamed.

She woke up in a pitch black room, the scream choked off by her sleeping body. Her arms and legs were tangled up in a simple blanket, and as her eyes adjusted she noticed other beds around her. Reality caught up with her and she remembered.

She panted and shook as the words flashed in her mind. _Thedas. Highever. Elissa. Castle. Barracks. Soldier._ She forced her lungs to slow down, but the terror lingered. She curled up on her side, but did not close her eyes for the rest of the night.

Leah continued to have nightmares every few days. Sometimes they were about the bandits, sometimes Moore. In the rest she was plucked or pulled or dropped out of a happy memory into darkness or a green fog. The end was the same. She always woke up in Thedas, terrified, sweating, and unable to sleep for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah and Marcus are having trouble finding time alone in Castle Cousland without being caught, but Marcus comes up with a plan when he and Arthur are assigned a short trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost all intimate interludes with Leah and Marcus with varying levels of steaminess. Fade to black, as always.

One day while patrolling the castle on her own Leah was pulled back into a closet at the end of a hallway.

“Hey!” she exclaimed. Once the door shut, she whirled around. 

Marcus stood there, grinning at her.

She sighed, but smiled back. “I should have guessed. What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

Marcus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. “Attempting to find some private time to ourselves.” His hands roamed the few parts of her body that weren’t covered in armor.

Leah let out a deep breath. “Someone will find us,” she said, even as the sensations tempted her. “There’s no lock on this door.”

Marcus kissed her neck and moved his lips just below her ear. “Then you’ll have to be quiet.” His hands moved lower.

Leah laughed and pulled back. “Oh no.” She pushed him away. “We’ll need to find somewhere more private for that. I can’t afford to risk this job.”

Marcus sighed. “I suppose you have a point. I’ll think of something else.”

“Good,” Leah placed a soft but firm kiss on his lips. “Let me know when you do,” she smirked as she left the closet and closed the door behind her. 

When she left, she shook her head and tried to push away the lingering temptation she felt before she continued along her patrol route.

* * *

One night later that week, Leah was doing her usual research in the library when she heard a soft knock. She turned to see Marcus glancing around the room.

“Are you alone?” he asked. 

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Yes, but you know you need to do some actual patrolling when you have this route, right? It would be just my luck that someone would invade the night you were supposed to be on duty. Plus, every time you’ve snuck in here during your patrol, we’ve almost been caught.”

“I know, I know,” Marcus held his hands up. “That’s not why I’m here. I mean… it could easily become the reason I’m here, if you feeling like pushing that luck.” He pulled Leah into his arms and brought his face close to hers.

“Hmm, very tempting,” Leah murmured. She met him in a long, deep kiss that ended with her briefly darting her tongue into his mouth, causing him to moan. She pulled away before he could recapture her lips. “Marcus, why are you really here?”

“Why are any of us really here,” he muttered before trying once again to continue their kiss. 

Leah giggled and dodged him. “You came here for something else, what was it?”

Marcus thought for a second, then nodded. “Now I remember. You’re very distracting, did you know that?”

Leah grinned. “Flatterer. So what did my tongue almost make you forget?”

“Mmm,” Marcus licked his lips and drew closer to her. “There you go again.”

“What did I do now?” she laughed. “Say the word ‘tongue’ too sexy or something?”

“The fact that you said it at all reminded me of what you were doing with it, and I’d really like a bit more if I’m being honest,” he chuckled and snuck another kiss in before she could protest. 

Leah pulled away once again. “There’s a lot more I could do with it if you’d just tell me why you originally came up here.”

“Maker’s breath.” He backed her into the table. 

“Marcus, come on!” Leah laughed again and used her hands on his chest to push him away. “I’m serious. I’m sure it must have been important, right?”

He gave her a wolfish grin. “It is. You’re just very hard to resist. I have good news, and it isn’t entirely unrelated to the wonderful things I can envision you doing with your tongue.” He cleared his throat. “Arthur and I have been given an assignment. Day after tomorrow we’re to travel to Derridge, a town about a day’s ride from here, near the North Road. We need to pick up some rarer supplies that can’t be found nearby. We’ll have to rest overnight and wait for morning before we travel back.”

“Okay.” Leah furrowed her brow. “I don’t see why that’s good news, or connected to me or my tongue.”

“It just so happens Arthur is going to become outrageously ill that morning, and he’ll ask his best friend in the world to fill in for him to save the sergeant the trouble of finding a replacement at the last minute.”

Leah’s smile grew as it dawned on her. “And that best friend will be the one spending the night with you. No one else from the castle for miles around. Just you, her, and a long night spent doing whatever you damn well please.”

“I figure we can get a room in the tavern, experience a proper bed for once. And… you do realize you’re the ‘her’ in this scenario, right?” he teased her.

“Well I was going to reward you for your ingenuity, but if you’re going to make fun of me I’ll just go back to my books...” Leah started to turn around.

“No no—” Marcus turned her towards him again and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I apologize profusely and humbly beg for your divine forgiveness. I can even get on my knees if you’d like.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Hmm, let’s save that for two nights from now. In the meantime…” She leaned in to pick up where their previous kiss left off. She had just begun to stroke his tongue with hers when she heard the familiar sound of footsteps. 

She pulled back and sighed. 

Marcus reciprocated. He had heard them too. “I know the drill,” he whispered, gesturing to his usual hiding place. 

“Yep,” Leah said in a soft voice and prepared to greet whoever was on patrol.

* * *

The morning Marcus and Arthur were meant to leave, Arthur made himself look properly miserable and sent Leah off in his stead with a grin.

She found Marcus and the sergeant waiting at the entrance to the castle. 

“Sergeant!” She saluted him. “Arthur is extremely ill. He won’t be able to travel today.”

The sergeant sighed. “Wonderful. I’ll have to find someone else to go with you, Marcus.”

“Arthur felt bad, so he asked me if I’d take his place to save you the trouble. I told him I had a patrol this morning, but it’s up to you sergeant. I suppose I wouldn’t mind Arthur owing me a favor,” Leah said. 

The sergeant looked her over, then glanced at Marcus. “Patrols are easy to reassign. And you have improved a great deal in the past couple months. Marcus is an experienced soldier. Just make sure you follow his lead, do as he tells you. It’s just a supply run, but Maker knows there’s bandits everywhere these days. Grab your gear and be off.”

“Yes ser.” Leah saluted the sergeant as he walked off. Once he was gone she grinned at Marcus.

“You heard what he said.” He grinned back. “Follow my lead, do as I tell you.”

Leah moved closer to Marcus with a sly smile on her face. “There are so many things I’m planning on doing to you tonight. I’d recommend you avoid ordering me around, and just enjoy the ride.”

He swallowed hard. “Yes ser,” his voice cracked.

Once Leah packed up her gear and mounted the horse meant for Arthur, she and Marcus headed off for Derridge. When they arrived that evening, they took care of the supplies first, then headed towards the tavern, eager to begin their night alone. 

A large man with a thick, dark beard greeted them. “Welcome! What can I do for you?”

“We need a room,” Marcus said.

The man shook his head. “Sorry, no rooms left for the night. We’re full up.”

“Oh boy,” Leah said rubbing her neck. “There’s my famous patented personal bad luck right there.”

Marcus just stared at the man, then released a heavy sigh. “You’re joking.”

The man shrugged. “It’s been a busy day. I just gave the last room away not half an hour ago.”

“Perfect,” Marcus muttered. “Thanks anyway.”

They left the tavern and headed back out into town.

“I can’t believe this,” Marcus said as they walked away from the tavern. “We finally get away from Castle Cousland, and it’s on the one day the rooms are all booked.”

Leah shook her head. “Plans are dangerous things. What do we do now?”

Marcus sighed. “We need to set up camp somewhere. I think I saw a decent clearing on our way here.” He gestured back in the direction of Highever. “Let’s go.”

Leah and Marcus rode their horses to the clearing, then worked as fast as possible to gather wood, start a fire, and set up a tent before the last remnants of daylight faded.

Once they were done they cooked and ate the rabbits they had bought in town. By then night was well underway and they sat in front of the crackling fire talking. 

“This is not how I envisioned tonight,” Marcus said. “But it could be worse. At least it isn’t raining.”

Leah swatted at him. “Don’t say that! You’re just asking for a storm to appear.”

He laughed. “No worries. Clear skies, see?” He gestured up at the velvet black sky glittering with stars. 

Leah looked up. She hadn’t taken much time to appreciate the beauty in this world, but the sight of a clear sky without light pollution, airplanes or satellites was breathtaking. “It is a beautiful night.” She looked over at Marcus. “And at least we’re alone. No one to gossip about us or chastise us for fraternizing.”

“True,” Marcus said. “I wish we could be taking better advantage of that, though.”

Leah tilted her head. She stood up and began removing her armor.

Marcus did a double take. “What are you doing?”

“Why can’t we?” she tossed her gloves to the ground, then pulled off her boots. She undid the straps on her body armor and threw them to the side as well. She stood there in just her undershirt and leggings.

Marcus shook his head and tried to look away. “One of us should be on guard. You never know out here, there could be—” he paused and watched Leah slipped out of her leggings. 

She dropped them on the ground and walked backwards towards the tent.

“Bandits or…” he continued.

Leah lifted her undershirt over her head and held it out in front of her with her thumb and forefinger before dropping it to the ground with the rest of her armor and clothing.

“...wolves,” Marcus finished, his eyes still following her.

“That’s too bad,” Leah said. “I guess I’ll just have to entertain myself in here, all alone.” She disappeared into the tent.

He rose to his feet and followed her. When he pushed the tent flap aside he found Leah lying on the bedroll on her side, head propped up on one hand.

Marcus swallowed. “You must be cold.” His eyes traced the curve of her body.

“Absolutely freezing.” She rolled onto her back and stretched her arms above her head. “If you didn’t have to stand guard, you could help me warm up. Or I guess I could just put my clothes and armor back on?” Leah moved as if to sit up.

“Perish the thought,” Marcus stopped her. He reached out with his still-gloved hand and stroked her leg.

Leah jumped and curled up. “Oh! Cold armor, cold armor!” She started laughing. 

Marcus jerked his hand back. “Hold on!” 

He disappeared outside the tent, and Leah heard the sounds of armor being removed and dropped.

Seconds later Marcus reappeared in just his linen underclothes. He laid next to her and wrapped one arm around her. “Better?”

Leah relaxed into him. “Much.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and rewarded him with a deep kiss. Then she rolled him onto his back, straddling him. 

Marcus groaned into her mouth, then broke off the kiss. “You are going to be the death of me.”

Leah pulled his undershirt over his head. She ran her hands over his chest, reveling in the feel of his muscles. “Are you complaining?” She rolled her hips against him. 

“Not at all,” Marcus breathed. “It would be the most pleasurable death I can imagine.” He pulled her down to him and kissed his way down her neck.

Leah sighed. “Agreed.”

* * *

Afterwards, when Leah saw Marcus’ eyes closing she tried to sit up to find her clothes.

Marcus opened one eye and pulled her back down next to him. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll stand guard while you get some much needed sleep.” She grinned and kissed him. She tried once more to move away, but he wouldn’t let her. 

“Don’t you dare.” He firmly wrapped both arms around her. 

“What about the bandits and wolves?” Leah reminded him. 

“Fuck ‘em.” He used one hand to rummage around in the tent. He found what he was looking for and pulled a blanket over the both of them. “If this is my chance to fall asleep with you in my arms, I’m taking it,” he sighed and his arm resumed its place around her. 

Leah felt a moment of hesitation and worry. What if she had a nightmare? She tried to push the concern aside and relaxed against Marcus, draping one arm over him. “Alright, but if we get mauled I’m blaming you.”

“It’s worth it,” Marcus muttered before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning after washing up in a nearby stream, Marcus and Leah packed up and headed back to Highever. Once there, they turned over the supplies to their sergeant and went back to the barracks with little more than a secret, sly smile between them.

The next morning Leah was back on her usual patrol with Arthur, who had a miraculous recovery from his mystery illness.

“Thank you so much for that,” Leah told him as they walked. “I mean, we didn’t end up with a room like we thought, but the freedom of not being inside the castle was such a relief.”

“Anything I can do to make my friends happy,” Arthur said. They turned a corner and walked past the castle’s training area. “Maker’s breath though Leah, what did you do to the man?”

Leah swiveled her head towards him. “What did I do to him? What do you mean?”

Arthur gestured towards the training area. Marcus was next up for sparring. When he noticed Leah he almost dropped his sword. 

“From what I hear he’s been like this since you two got back. All distracted and off his game.”

Leah raised an eyebrow and gave Marcus a small smile. “If you’re asking for details, Arthur…”

“Maker no! Ugh,” he shuddered. “That would be like hearing what my sisters got up to with the local farm boys. Not interested. I’m just saying, I think you broke ‘im.”

Leah watched as Marcus stepped up to spar with one of the other soldiers. Arthur had a point; he seemed just a little off balance, and his blocks were coming later and later. Soon his opponent found an opening and knocked him clean off his feet. Leah’s hand flew up to cover her mouth.

“Oh no,” she said behind her hand. 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Arthur gestured with his head. “Broke ‘im.”

“Oh come on, he’ll be fine. He’s just still under the spell of our wanton lovemaking.” She grinned at Arthur. 

“Ugh, please stop.”

“I rode him like a—”

Arthur put his hands over his ears and walked faster. “Absolutely not, I don’t want to hear it.”

Leah laughed and caught up to him. “Okay, I’m just teasing. I won’t traumatize you with what and where and how hard.” She raised her eyebrows. 

“Andraste’s flaming knickers, I regret helping you.” Arthur shook his head.

* * *

One day while watching their fellow soldiers spar, Marcus caught Leah’s eye and gestured around a corner of the castle.

Leah watched him walk away. She waited a couple minutes, then drifted back from the crowd. She walked in the direction Marcus had indicated and found him in a hidden nook away from prying eyes. 

“If you think this is any better than the closet, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you,” she said, a sly grin on her face. “I’m not taking any of this armor off with the rest of Highever’s forces just a few yards away.”

Marcus held a hand up. “No, my intentions are honorable this time. I have something for you,” he said handing her a book. “I found it in the market and thought of you. You spend so much time reading very practical but incredibly dull books. You work so hard to relearn everything you’ve forgotten. You deserve something more interesting. Something that will fuel your imagination rather than just your capacity for names and dates.”

“ _Dane and the Werewolf_ ,” Leah read the title out loud. “That does sound much more exciting than my usual reading. Thank you, that’s very sweet. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I did. I mean, not this, specifically. But I absolutely did need to do something to show you what you mean to me. Most of the time we spend alone, I get so swept up in the kissing and touching and wanting to do things that I otherwise only daydream about. But I want you to know I’m not just some lustful degenerate who only has one thing on his mind. I do care for you. And I want to do a better job of showing you that.”

Leah was silent for a moment. She tried to think of what to say. She was touched by the gift, and what Marcus was saying. But below those feelings simmered guilt and lies. She would be abandoning him when she went home, and gifting him pain in return. 

“Leah? Did I say something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No, no. I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard. I’m not used to this sincere, heartfelt version of you.” She tried to smirk to throw him off the scent of her deeper thoughts. 

Marcus smiled. “Well, that’s something I want to change. Don’t get me wrong, I will never stop the teasing, sarcasm or suggestive flirting. But that’s not all of me, and you deserve to hear it. That you do mean more to me than just frantic, heated trysts in empty, isolated rooms. Very satisfying trysts, but…”

Leah forced a chuckle. “I get it. Thank you, really. This is an incredibly thoughtful gift, and I really appreciate everything that you’re saying. It’s difficult for me, because of…” she paused and shook her head. “But you do mean something to me as well.”

It wasn’t much, but it was the best she could do. She hadn’t stopped to truly examine her own feelings until now, and she didn’t want to compound the lies about her memory with emotional ones; ones that were even less fair, and possibly more damaging. 

“Good, I’m glad,” Marcus said. “And I’m not fishing for reciprocation. We haven’t known each other that long, and I can’t imagine that a couple months is even close to enough time to come to terms with what happened to you. It’s okay. Contrary to what you’ve seen thus far, I can be patient.” He grinned and peeked out around the corner to see if anyone was watching. “I’ll see you later.” He took her right hand in both of his and kissed it, then walked away. 

Leah watched him go, then looked back down at the book he had given her. She ran her thumb down the spine and sighed. “Shit.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special guest visits Highever just before Castle Cousland is attacked in the dead of night. Leah experiences real combat for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're familiar with the Human Noble story in Dragon Age Origins, the day you knew was coming is finally here and it's not pretty. I already have a violence warning on the story, but to reiterate there is some blood and violence coming up. It isn't gory (I save that for my horror fiction) but it's combat: people get hurt, die, bleed, etc. 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who clicks, reads and/or gives kudos! I'm amazed and humbled every time I log in or get a notification.

Between her search for answers in the library, the time she spent training and patrolling, and her trysts with Marcus, Leah found she had adjusted to the rhythm of life in Castle Cousland. Sometimes it was thrown into mild disarray by a visiting noble, but it didn’t often affect her day-to-day tasks that much. As a bonus, Elissa would usually regale her with gossip and scandalous stories about their latest visitor during their sparring sessions. There was one day in particular that felt distinct from the rest, when Elissa was more distracted than usual.

“Father and Fergus are leading most of our forces to Ostagar, to fight alongside King Cailan. I wish I could go with them,” Elissa said as she took the offensive against Leah. 

“Is Ferelden at war?” Leah asked. 

Elissa gave a half shrug in between strikes. “They’re fighting the darkspawn. I suppose you could call it a war. Especially if it is a Blight.”

As she worked to block Elissa’s sword, Leah thought back to some of the books she had read about Blights and darkspawn. “Darkspawn? So they’re like… monsters?”

Elissa backed off for a moment to explain. “That’s a good description. They exist underground; the dwarves are usually the only ones to deal with them on a regular basis. But sometimes they find their way to the surface, and if they’re being led by an Archdemon they’ll overrun Thedas like a plague. I mean that literally. They’re tainted creatures, and if you’re infected by them, you’ll die a miserable and painful death.” She gestured for Leah to attack. 

Leah felt her stomach turn. She reset her body and feet to resume their sparring. “Does this happen often? A Blight, I mean?”

“Not really.” Elissa ducked underneath Leah’s blade and took the next strike with her shield. “It hasn’t happened for hundreds of years. I think there are many who forget history and believe it won’t happen again. It’s utter foolishness.”

Leah traded blows with Elissa. “So from what I remember reading, the Grey Wardens fight the darkspawn, right?”

Elissa’s face brightened. She began to move faster around the clearing to evade Leah’s sword. “Yes, they’re an order of warriors dedicated to fighting darkspawn and stopping a Blight. They were banished from Ferelden for a long time, but King Maric allowed them to return around the time I was born. They’re the only ones who can truly kill the Archdemon and end the Blight. Again, many people have forgotten their importance and sacrifice. But they’re heroes. They’ve saved Thedas time and time again for no personal gain.”

Leah paused her attack and eyed Elissa, hearing her reverence for the Grey Wardens. “It sounds like a hard life, being a Grey Warden. Especially in Ferelden.”

“Perhaps,” Elissa said as she went on the offensive. Her strikes forced Leah back again and again.

When Leah reached the edge of the clearing, she yielded. “Alright, alright. You’ve got me.”

Elissa smiled and backed off. She stuck her sword in the ground and leaned her shield up against it. “Let’s stop for a bit.”

“Sure,” Leah agreed, breathing heavy. She followed suit with her sword and shield. “Honestly, I’m glad I was chosen to stay behind in Highever. I’m not sure I’d be any help against these monsters. I still haven’t even faced an actual human enemy.”

“I can understand that,” Elissa conceded. “But you’ve made so much progress in a short amount of time. I think even if you had gone with the rest of our forces you would have been brilliant,” she grinned. 

“I think I’ll take not being brilliant and staying alive for a while longer.”

“Well, there will be plenty of soldiers there as it is. One of our allies, Arl Howe, is supposed to meet my father here with his forces before they go on to the battle. I’ve heard his soldiers are running behind, which is odd. But with Amaranthine’s army alongside Highever, I think we’ll give the King and the Grey Wardens a formidable chance.”

“And your brother will be with them? Are you worried about him?” Leah asked.

Elissa frowned but shook her head. “Fergus will be fine. He left already, actually. He’s riding ahead while we wait for Arl Howe’s army.”

Leah crossed her arms. “But you want to be there with him.”

Elissa glanced up at her. “Yes, there is that. But… there’s something else.” She gestured to the nearby log and the two women sat down. “One of the Grey Wardens is here at the castle. His name is Duncan. He’s looking for recruits, Leah. And he wanted me.”

Leah was speechless for a moment. “You? Then you’re…”

“No, I’m not,” Elissa growled. “My stubborn father. He refused Duncan. Didn’t even ask me what I wanted.”

Leah breathed a sigh of relief. Then she considered how selfish it was. Elissa was bound to move on to whatever fate her life had in store. And Leah would eventually go home, she hoped. It wasn’t fair to feel slighted by Elissa leaving when she intended to do the same if given the chance. 

“I’m sorry,” Leah said after a minute. “You should have some say in your future.”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” Elissa shook her head. “I know he worries about me, but I’m not a child anymore. And I’m a capable warrior, aren’t I?” She looked to Leah, the question echoed in her eyes. Her need for reassurance was genuine and not rhetorical.

“You’re an amazing warrior, Elissa. I mean, my frame of reference is… but yes, I’m sure you’d be a huge asset to the Grey Wardens.”

“Then why would he deny me this opportunity?” Elissa leaned forward, her arms resting on her knees. “I know it’s dangerous, but so is Fergus fighting alongside the king. It makes me wonder if it’s because I’m a woman.”

Leah thought. “Maybe. Or because you’re his youngest child. I imagine it might be difficult to watch both of your children seek dangerous paths.”

“But it should be my choice.” Elissa squeezed her eyes shut and her hands clenched into fists. “I don’t want to be stuck in a castle for the rest of my life.”

Leah bit her lip. “Some people don’t have the advantage of choice. Some of them are forced onto dangerous paths whether they want it or not. I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t be angry, or that you should accept something you don’t want. Just… it’s not always as easy as a choice, for anyone.”

Elissa’s eyes opened and she looked over at Leah. She sighed and slumped. “You mean ‘some people’ who get dragged into a soldier’s life with little alternative, because their very good friend thought it sounded like a splendid idea at the time?”

Leah shrugged. “Like you said, there wasn’t much alternative. What else could I have done? Gone back out there and risked my life again? No, I think this was the best solution at the time. I’m just saying, sometimes choice is a luxury. If you’re going to fight for it, at least know how incredibly valuable it is. Make sure it’s something you truly want and don’t ever take it for granted.”

Elissa looked off in the distance, deep in thought. She looked back at Leah and squeezed her shoulder. “That’s good advice. Thank you.”

“Any time.” Leah tried to smile.

* * *

Later that night, Leah was awakened by Arthur.

“Wake up! We’re being attacked!” he said, shaking her.

Leah bolted upright in her bed. “What? Attacked by who?”

“The Howes, those traitors,” he said, his voice bitter. He tossed Leah her armor and weapons.

“What? I thought they were our allies?” Leah asked as she readied for a fight.

“They are. But since they’re invading the castle while most of our forces just happen to be on their way to Ostagar I’d say their status as ally has been revoked,” Arthur grumbled. “Maker preserve us.”

A sergeant barked orders at the few soldiers present. “Let’s go, now! We’ll move through the castle in squads, save anyone we can. We must protect the Couslands!”

Leah, Arthur and two other soldiers went left down the hallway outside their barracks and almost immediately met with a trio of Howe’s men. They made quick work of their former allies and continued through the floor, but each skirmish slowed them down just a little more. With the bulk of Howe’s men invading the castle and no backup from the rest of Highever’s forces they had little time to regroup or heal in between injuries. 

Being in actual combat for the first time made Leah appreciate the many hours of training she had endured. Just a couple months ago she would have been killed immediately. Now she had the strength and stamina to hold her own.

But the endless stream of enemies proved to be a demanding challenge, even for their more seasoned soldiers. Eventually they lost a member of their squad, a young but talented archer named Celia. After they took care of Howe soldier who killed her, Leah eyed her body and took in the grim reality of what they were up against. She hoped the other squads were having more success.

During the next battle, after Leah finished off the fifth or twentieth or hundredth soldier currently in front of her, she turned to check on Arthur.

He was toe to toe with another swordsman. Arthur staggered him with a pommel blow to the head, then finished him by plummeting his greatsword into the man’s stomach. 

When the man fell, he revealed three archers behind him that were ready with arrows. Leah’s eyes widened and time slowed. 

“No! Stop!” she screamed as she ran towards Arthur.

The archers released their arrows, and all three pierced Arthur’s armor and sunk into his torso. He shook from the impact, but tried to keep moving forward. The archers had enough time to nock a second arrow, and once again all three found their mark. Arthur cried out and dropped to his knees.

Leah reached the archers just as their second shot flew, so they had little time to prepare. She slid her sword right through the one in the middle, then slammed her shield into the one to her left. She wasn’t even thinking, just moving in a blind rage. Once the second was stunned, she slashed her sword across his throat and turned towards the third, who had started to run. 

Leah pumped her legs to close the distance. The archer turned at the last second to try to fire another arrow, but Leah raised her shield to block it. She barreled into the archer, knocking the man to the ground. She slammed the point of her sword straight down through his chest without hesitation, and heard the satisfying sound of metal on stone as it went through his body into the floor below. 

Time caught up to her. Her chest heaved, and she looked at the carnage she had caused. Her head swam and nausea threatened to overtake her before she remembered Arthur. She ran back and found him lying on the ground. She fell to her knees and pulled him into her lap.

“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” her voice shook.

He looked up at her, barely alive. He tried to shake his head. “Go,” he croaked. “Please. I—” 

With that final syllable, his head dropped. He was dead. 

“No!” Leah shouted. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared into her friend’s lifeless face. He was one of the few people who treated her with kindness in this world, and now he was gone. “I should have been right beside you, I could have protected you.”

“You can’t help him, we need to keep moving!” Philip, the fourth member of their unit, tried to pull her to her feet, and she shook his arm off. He grabbed it again, tighter this time. “If you stay here, you’ll die too. There are other people you can save. Move it now!”

Leah looked up and glared at him. She looked back down at Arthur, choked back another sob and placed him gently back on the ground. She stood up and forced herself to look away from Arthur’s body. 

“I’ll kill every last one of them.”

“Good,” Philip said. “These traitors deserve it for what they’ve done.”

Leah and Philip moved along, cutting down Howe’s men and looking for survivors. They had found none of the latter since they left the barracks. As they moved to the opposite side of the castle, Leah flanked left and saw a familiar face down one of the passages.

“Marcus,” she muttered.

Two of Howe’s men were already at his feet, and he was fighting off a third. She could see he was tired, but he pushed the man back with his shield enough to drive home a killing blow. 

For a brief second Leah was relieved. She saw Marcus turn towards her, and then saw a man creeping up behind him. 

“Look out! Behind you!” she yelled.

It was too late. Howe’s soldier thrust his sword into Marcus from behind.

Leah was overcome with anger once again. She shouted a battle cry as she bore down on the man. Right before she reached him she jumped into the air and thrust her shield down on his face as hard as she could. 

The soldier reeled, blood spurting out of his nose. She stabbed him three times before letting him fall to the ground. 

Leah spun around and went back to Marcus. He was on his knees and still alive, but rapidly losing blood.

“You’re alright,” he wheezed. 

“I’m fine,” she replied. “I’m going to get you out of here, you’re going to be okay…”

Marcus shook his head and coughed. Blood spurted out of his mouth. “No, I’m not.”

“Don’t say that, we’ll heal you or something. You can survive this. Come on, just stand up and—”

Marcus grabbed her gloved hand to stop her. “Leah, no. I won’t. But they could.” He looked over to a side passage, where two terrified servants and their little girl were hiding. “You have to protect them.”

Leah looked back at Marcus. “What about you? I won’t leave you here.”

“I’m already dead,” he said, gasping for air. “Please. You have to get them out. Otherwise this will have been for nothing.”

Leah clenched her jaw and breathed hard, trying to avoid the tears that were threatening to escape. She failed and several fell down her face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get here in time.”

“You did,” Marcus said, looking her in the eye. “Now go, before more come.”

Leah helped Marcus prop himself up against the wall and gestured to the servants. “Come on, this way. Hurry!”

The man picked up his child and ran back out the passage, in the direction Leah indicated. 

His wife followed, but stopped to kneel next to Marcus. “May the Maker watch over you,” she said, grabbing his hand and kissing it. She rose to her feet and ran after her husband and child.

Leah took one last long look at Marcus as he slumped further and shut his eyes. She stifled more tears and went back towards Philip and the servants. 

Their small group reached one of the exits of the castle. Sergeant Hale as well as two other servants met them there. 

“We’ve lost the castle, we must leave now!” the sergeant ordered. 

“What about Elissa? What about Teyrn and Teyrna Cousland?” Leah asked.

“They’re both dead, as are Oriana and Oren. I haven’t seen Elissa. Everyone else is dead. We need to leave while there are still lives to be saved,” he said, gesturing towards the servants.

Leah was tired of losing people for the night. She defied her orders and ran to the exterior of the castle, where Sergeant Hale had just come from, to look for Elissa.

As she looked off in the distance, she could see Duncan, Elissa and Bones running from the castle. For a moment her heart seized, seeing her last real friend run away. Leah steeled herself. _I still have a job to do_ , she thought to herself. _Maybe I can keep these other people safe_. She returned to her superior to fulfill her duty. The few remaining guards and servants ran from Highever into the night.

They traveled in darkness for as long as possible, stopping to hide from Howe’s men along the way. When dawn came, they found a cave they could rest in for a longer amount of time. 

While the servants tried to sleep, Leah, Philip and their sergeant conferred.

“We need to keep heading south,” Sergeant Hale whispered. “We need to stay away from Amaranthine of course, but even Denerim could be dangerous right now. I’ve no idea what Howe might tell the King.”

“So where _are_ we going?” Leah asked, matching her volume to the sergeant’s.

“We could stop in Lothering, ser,” Philip suggested. “There are always people traveling through. We could blend in and trade for some supplies, and have a chance to hear news of Ostagar. Fergus and the rest of the army are there. They would be able to protect us.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” the sergeant said. “It will be a long journey, but it should be the safest. And Redcliffe is not much further; if the battle at Ostagar is still going on or we hear no word of Fergus, the Arl would be our next best option for protection. That settles it. In the morning we’ll head for Lothering.”

* * *

The next day the group set their sights on the Imperial Highway, which would bring them directly to Lothering. As they neared the town, they found a group of bandits taking advantage of those fleeing the Blight.

“Hello travelers!” one of the bandits called out. “I see you’re on your way to Lothering. Best of luck to you. It will only be ten silvers to pass.”

“If you’re a toll collector, I’m the Queen of Antiva,” Philip sneered.

“Is that any way to greet someone?” the bandit said. 

“It is if that someone is a thief and and a parasite. Move aside,” Sergeant Hale demanded. 

Leah tensed. There were five bandits and only three of them, not counting the servants. She broke out into a sweat, feeling small and outnumbered. Her trance was broken by the lead bandit.

“Now now,” he said, looking at Leah with his hand on his sword. “Let’s not be hasty.”

Sergeant Hale turned to her. “Stand down soldier. Not worth staining perfectly good stone with their blood.”

She furrowed her brow at the sergeant, then looked down. She was surprised to find her sword in her hand. She had a vice-like grip on the hilt. _When did I do that?_ Leah thought.

“As you can see, my soldiers and I are not in the mood for these games. Don’t make me repeat myself,” the sergeant growled. 

“Then I’m afraid we’re at an impasse.” The bandit lowered his hand but kept a wary eye on Leah. “We can’t just let you go. There are rules, you know.”

“Let me clarify this for you,” Philip said. “We’re not paying, and you’d best take your rules and shove them up your arse.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the bandit sighed. “Now we’re going to have to teach you a lesson.”

No, Leah’s vision sharpened and her breathing quickened. 

The next thing she knew, she had thrown her sword to the ground, grabbed the bandit leader and slammed him against the wall of the highway. 

The bandits’ companions froze and looked around at each other, wondering if they should intervene. 

Sergeant Hale started towards Leah, but Philip held him back. 

“Hold on,” Philip whispered to the sergeant.

Leah wrapped one hand around the bandit’s throat and bared her teeth as she brought her face close to his. “I don’t need my sword. I will tear your eyes and tongue out with my bare hands and leave them for the birds to feed on,” she hissed and bashed him against the stone again. “You are not getting one fucking coin from us and if I feel you even breathe in our direction again I will rip you apart starting with your balls!”

The bandit tried to speak. He pulled at her hand, and she released her grip enough for him to get a breath. “I apologize, clearly we’ve made a mistake. We won’t bother you again, I swear it!” he gasped. 

Leah threw him to the ground and swallowed as she returned to herself and realized what she had done. 

She looked over at her companions. The only one who didn’t look concerned or afraid was Philip. He appeared impressed. But Leah didn’t feel impressive. She felt like throwing up.

She bent down carefully to retrieve her sword, mindful of her roiling stomach. She sheathed it across her back and gestured towards Lothering. “Let’s go,” she mumbled.

The other bandits parted as she passed, eager to stay out of her reach.

* * *

Philip wasn’t wrong about being able to fade into the crowd in Lothering. It was overflowing with refugees from all walks of life. A few more soldiers and servants didn’t stand out, but there were no more places indoors for visitors to stay. Many had set up camps near the entrance, and the six survivors from Highever did the same until they could figure out what to do next.

A couple of days later Philip shared some bad news he had heard in the tavern. Arl Howe had not only declared himself the new teyrn of Highever, he had a new powerful alliance with the Queen’s father, a war hero named Loghain. Even worse, the battle at Ostagar had been a disaster. The king was dead, the troops were decimated, and the few survivors had scattered. It depended on the source, but some reported that Loghain’s troops abandoned the king and left the Grey Wardens to the darkspawn. Either way, it was said that all the Grey Wardens had perished in the battle. 

Leah’s heart broke further, hearing that her last friend, the one who had saved her life, was dead. There was no one left in this world that she truly cared about, and the idea that she had made such powerful friendships in a short time gave her pause. For the first time, the thought occurred to her: the longer she stayed in Thedas, the harder it might become to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah goes to Redcliffe with Sergeant Hale and Philip, but they discover the village is not the safe haven they envisioned. After spending a couple weeks fighting the undead night after night, a new party arrives to help defend the village and Leah is reunited with someone she thought was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Settle in and get comfortable dear readers, this is going to be a long one! It didn't feel right to split this up in the middle of everything, and I do include a decent amount of quest dialogue for reasons. So you get twice the drama, twice the combat, and twice the dumb jokes. I also love this part because I finally get to include more canon characters, and I really enjoy writing them. 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you for reading! Consensual hugs and/or high fives all around.

Given the news about about Ostagar, Leah decided to follow Sergeant Hale and Philip to Redcliffe. The servants they had saved wanted to go their own way, to nearby villages and farms where they had family or friends that would help them. 

From what the sergeant had said, Arl Eamon ruled Redcliffe and would help to keep Howe, Loghain and the darkspawn at bay. The reality was much less impressive. They arrived to find that Arl Eamon had fallen ill and lay unconscious. His brother, Teagan, was in charge. Even worse, Redcliffe was being attacked by the undead every single night and no one had been able to reach the Arl’s castle to see if he still lived. 

When they learned what was happening in Redcliffe, Leah felt the last of her hope slip away. She wasn’t safe anywhere in Thedas. Without knowing where else to go or what else to do, she resigned herself to Redcliffe. If nothing else, protecting the villagers would make her feel useful. 

Every night for the next couple of weeks the village and the militia lost more and more lives to the undead. Leah began to wonder if they were really helping, or just delaying the town’s inevitable destruction. 

One morning Leah left the tavern, where she and a few others in the militia were staying. It was tempting to take a mug of ale given the circumstances, but instead she waved to Bella and headed out. 

She took the long path down to the main square, which gave her time to think. They fought for their lives again and again, and for what? She had left Lothering with Philip and Sergeant Hale hoping to find someplace better and instead they found more trouble. Magic was enough for Leah to have swallowed in the past year. Now she fought reanimated corpses on a daily basis and worried for her sanity. If nothing else, the primal physical activity of combat gave no room for overthinking and Leah had come to appreciate that. 

As she approached the square Leah drew her sword, stabbed a dummy from behind and drove it down through the straw man’s head, pinning it to the ground. The soldier that had been aiming his bow and arrow at the dummy gave her a wary look, then moved on to a different target. 

Leah started towards Murdock to get her assignment for the day, but in her peripheral vision she caught a group coming out of the Chantry. She stopped and turned; they didn’t see many new visitors these days, not since word got out that the village was under siege by the undead. 

The figures gathered together outside the Chantry to talk, and Leah swore that one looked very familiar. Her breath hitched in her throat. Her armor was different, but it was definitely Elissa. 

Leah stood frozen in place as the group finished their conversation and began moving again, into the square. She stared at Elissa, who was busy speaking with one of her companions and hadn’t noticed her yet. The young blond man next to her did though, and spoke first.

“Um… yes, hello? We’re looking for Murdock.”

Leah woke from her reverie, and looked at him like he was a Mabari wearing a tutu. She turned back to Elissa, who finally saw her. 

“Leah!” Elissa nudged her companion aside to hug her. “Thank the Maker you’re alright!”

Leah was stunned and at a loss for words. “I thought you were dead,” she said, her voice quiet. “They said everyone died at Ostagar. You… that night I saw you, running away with Duncan. I thought...”

Elissa pulled away. “I’m fine! Thankfully we made it through. What are you doing here?” she asked, still oblivious to Leah’s shock.

“What am _I_ doing…?” Leah stuttered. She gathered her thoughts and grimaced. “Trying not to die, for the most part. There were only a few of us left after the attack on Highever. Howe’s men were everywhere...” she stopped. She didn’t want to think about what had happened to Arthur and Marcus. “We tried Lothering first, then I came here with Philip and Sergeant Hale. Can’t say it was such a great idea. The sergeant’s dead. Philip left a couple nights ago. I have no idea where the servants are, they had their own plans.”

Elissa’s initial excitement was tempered as she remembered the attack from Howe and his men. “Right. Of course. I’m sorry about Sergeant Hale. And I know what you mean, we saw Lothering too. But at least we’re all still alive. My parents… well, they didn’t make it. Neither did Oriana or Oren,” she grew quiet. “Duncan saved me, and now he’s gone too. But because of him I became a Grey Warden.”

Leah felt a punch in the pit of her stomach thinking about the Couslands, especially little Oren. “I know. I’m so sorry about your family. I’m sorry we couldn’t protect them. I owed them that much, at least.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, they overwhelmed us. Howe had clearly been planning this for a long time. And knowing now that he had Loghain as an ally, after what Loghain did at Ostagar? Like attracts like. They’ve both clearly gone mad. So…” Elissa took a deep breath. “Let’s place the blame where it belongs. And at least you got yourself and some servants out.”

Leah wanted to reach out and hug Elissa, to do something to console her in her grief. But at the mention of ‘servants’ she remembered her place. “You’re right. And I’m relieved to see you alive. I should get back to work. I’m glad you’re alright, Miss Cousland.”

Leah turned away from the group, heading back up towards the tavern. 

Elissa put a hand up towards her companions to hold them back as she ran after Leah. “Hold on, wait!!”

Leah turned towards Elissa. 

“Funny story, when you become a Grey Warden you give up your titles. And we aren’t at Highever any longer, so I think we can dispense with formalities. Which I always hated, if you recall.”

Leah nodded. “Okay. Elissa it is,” she paused. “I am truly sorry about your family. I hope you have a chance to avenge them. And congratulations on becoming a Grey Warden. You’re a hero now.” She forced herself to give Elissa a small smile.

“That remains to be seen, I think.” Elissa shook her head. “Is something wrong? You… you sound so sad.”

Leah shrugged. “It must be this place. I apologize. I really should go…”

Elissa put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “Wait, please. Whatever it is, can I help?”

Leah sighed and rubbed her forehead. She did not want to talk about this. She didn’t want to think about Arthur dead in her lap, or Marcus slumped against a wall. But the torturous memories were there, ready and waiting for her. 

“Elissa, we both lost people. Arthur and Marcus…” Leah’s voice broke and she tried to control it. “They didn’t make it. They were the only other people I cared about.” She swallowed hard. “I watched them both die in that castle. And the things I did Elissa, the people I killed… I know they attacked first, that they would have killed me too, but a thing like that changes a person. I barely knew what I was doing; I didn’t even think, I just slaughtered them. I still don’t know how I feel about that.” 

Elissa’s face fell, but she stayed silent.

Leah took a breath to steady herself and push the horrific imagery away. “But you lost your family as well as your mentor. You have the fate of Ferelden on your shoulders. So I really don’t think it’s worth worrying about the melancholy of one novice soldier. Honestly, if you want to help someone, help this village. These people are being decimated one night at a time. They need your help. I can take care of myself, I promise.”

Elissa frowned. “Leah, I’m so sorry. About all of it. I didn’t know about Arthur and Marcus, I know how important they were to you.” She paused. “But you’re not just a soldier. You’re my friend. And that’s still important, no matter what else is going on. Maybe more important, given the circumstances.”

Leah sighed. “Look, I’ll always be grateful for you saving my life. And if you ever need anything from me, I would do it without hesitation. I owe you and your family everything. But Elissa, I worked for your parents, for you. I did—” she corrected herself. “I do think of you as a friend, but our paths were bound to split. It’s everything just to know you’re alive, trust me. It means I have a chance to say goodbye. It’s good, but no less sad. I’ll really miss you, and I know that because I already missed you this whole time.”

Elissa was quiet.

Leah paused again to push out a rough breath. “Now, I am going to go grab an ale from the tavern so that I can steady my nerves for tonight. Oh, and your companion said you’re looking for Murdock, he’s the moustache over there.” Leah gestured in the middle of the square to a brusque, dark-haired man. “He’s a bit rough around the edges, but reasonable enough. Best of luck with whatever you’re looking for.” She walked away.

Elissa didn’t follow her this time. Instead, she stood staring at the ground for a few seconds, then went back to her companions and gestured towards Murdock.

* * *

Leah had her ale, and did as she said she would. She returned to Murdock and trained for hours. She watched as Elissa and her group ran around Redcliffe on a variety of errands. They persuaded Owen to start making weapons again, intimidated Gwyn into helping to defend the village, and Lloyd into giving the soldiers free drinks. She even helped the knights obtain a meaningless but well-intentioned blessing from the Chantry.

By sunset that evening, the village was in higher spirits and a much better state than before Elissa had arrived. Leah considered the fact that Elissa made a good leader, and that was likely a major reason Duncan invited her to join the Grey Wardens.

When Elissa and her companions assembled for the night’s attack, Leah made her way to them and planted herself beside her friend. She pulled out her shield and unsheathed her longsword, giving it a couple of practice swings. 

Elissa gave her a small smile and focused back on the path the undead would take down towards the village. 

Darkness fell, and the ghouls came with an eerie glow. Some barrels of oil from the general store were lit on fire to slow them down, and the warriors rushed forward to finish the first wave off as the archers and mages took shots at the second wave coming down the path. 

Leah was surprised to see the newly rejuvenated group make short work of the undead. But they weren’t finished yet; there were more arriving down in the village, and soon they were called to help defend the Chantry. 

Leah rushed ahead before anyone else could take off. She saw a cluster of undead surrounding two soldiers, and slid to a stop several feet away. She caught Elissa’s eye and whistled to her.

Elissa grinned. She remembered their private tactic for winning sparring sessions with the other soldiers and broke into a run. 

Leah squatted down and covered her back with her shield just in time for Elissa to slide across it, barrel into the undead feet-first, and strike with her sword in a wide arc that caught five of them at once. 

Leah saw another ghoul creeping up behind Elissa. She spied a bow and arrow that another soldier dropped a few feet away and rolled towards it to pick it up. As soon as she popped back up she thought she had the ghoul in her crosshairs and fired. But the ghoul swayed as it shuffled, so she missed. Leah cursed her useless deadeye for inanimate objects. She whipped off another arrow and barely winged its shoulder, causing it to turn towards her. 

“Elissa, watch your back!” Leah called out.

The distracted ghoul gave Elissa just enough time to finish the foes in front of her. She whipped her head around took the ghoul’s head off in one swing. 

Before Leah knew it, the battle was won. They had lost a couple of people, but not nearly as many as they had each night before. She knew that was Elissa’s doing. 

After the battle Elissa headed back up the hill with her companions. Leah decided to follow them until she saw them have a tense conversation with Bann Teagan and a woman she didn’t recognize. Leah hung back. She didn’t want to interrupt. When the conversation was over, Elissa said something brief to her companions, then looked around. Her eyes landed on Leah. She smiled and jogged over.

“There you are!” Elissa said.

“Here I am.” Leah gave a half smile. She jerked her head towards Bann Teagan “What was that about?”

Elissa took a quick look back. “Well, good news and bad news. The woman we spoke to is Arl Eamon’s wife, Isolde. The arl is unconscious, but still alive, as is their son. The bad news is, a mage poisoned the arl and then released something evil into the castle, which has taken over and killed everyone else. I’m afraid we’ll have to venture inside to truly fix this mess. Isolde convinced Teagan to go with her, but before he did he gave me access to a back entrance we can use to get in to the basement.”

“Wow,” Leah said. “At least the arl and his family are still alive. But if the castle is anything like the village has been…”

“I expect we’ll be in for a fight,” Elissa finished her thought.

“Right. Well, I hope you’re able to find them. It would be interesting to see what Redcliffe is like when it isn’t in the midst of a nightmare. I imagine it might be a nice place under better circumstances,” Leah mused, looking out over the landscape. She came back to herself. “Whatever happens, I’ll be around. But if I don’t see you… take care of yourself, Elissa.” Leah stepped away and started back down towards the Chantry.

Elissa stopped her. “Wait, where are you going?” 

“Back to Redcliffe,” Leah said. “They might keep getting attacked until the evil presence in the castle is gone. I need to go see how the soldiers and villagers are doing.” She started down towards the village again.

Elissa stopped her once more. “I don’t think you understand, I want you to come with us! We need you.”

Leah turned around and chuckled. “Why in the world would you need me? You clearly have capable fighters with you.”

“Not like you. Besides, I want a friend fighting by my side,” Elissa said. 

Leah’s momentary amusement faded. “I don’t think you do. Most of the people who had me fighting at their side have died.”

“That’s not because of you. That’s because of Arl Howe, and this mage assassin that Loghain sent to kill Arl Eamon. You astound me, Leah. You go on about being a lowly soldier, yet you act like you’re a curse upon Thedas and every bad thing that happens is somehow your fault.”

Leah glanced away and clenched her jaw. “Not every bad thing. I’ve never tried to take credit for the Blight. Although now that you mention it…” she quipped.

Elissa let out a sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh. “See? I missed you, and your ill-timed, self-deprecating jokes. Look, you’re as good a warrior as anyone else I’ve met since I left Highever. You could mean the difference between succeeding and failing.”

“Nice try at being persuasive, but that’s not true.” Leah gestured at the village below. “Any of these soldiers here are at least as good as me, if not much better. If you want more firepower, I can point out the best. They’re the ones you should take, not me.”

“ _I_ don’t know that they’re better. And I don’t know anyone who could shoot a bow like you do,” Elissa said.

“Unless the Arl is being imprisoned by a forest of vaguely menacing oaks, my archery will be useless. I completely missed that ghoul on my first shot, and I was aiming at its back when I gave it a little cut on its shoulder,” Leah argued. “Which is exactly why I don’t fight with a bow, and you know that. You’re reaching.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “You’re not going to let me leave, are you?”

“Absolutely not, so you’d better just come with me.” Elissa pointed back up the path. 

Leah looked up towards the rest of Elissa’s party. She felt awkward, but began to walk back. “Alright, ma’am.”

“Ugh, don’t ever call me ma’am,” Elissa said, falling into step beside her.

“Okay, Miss Cousland,” Leah smirked.

“Stop it right now,” Elissa admonished her.

“Then stop ordering me around!” Leah retorted.

Elissa paused. “You’ve got me there.”

“Thank the Maker…” Leah muttered.

The two women climbed the hill towards Elissa’s companions. 

“Let’s do some introductions,” Elissa said when they arrived. “This is Leah. She was a loyal soldier and friend in Highever, and one of our best warriors.”

“Wow, you’ve crossed over from glaring optimism to outrageous lies,” Leah quipped. “I’m nowhere near the best, just lucky enough to get out alive.”

“You still can’t take a compliment, can you?” Elissa gestured toward the red-headed archer. “This is Leliana.” She then turned towards the dark-haired mage. “And this is Morrigan. Oh,” Elissa chuckled. “And Alistair, of course. My fellow Grey Warden.”

“I’ll assume that was a ‘last but not least’ situation and you didn’t almost forget me,” Alistair quipped. 

“If only we could,” Morrigan sighed, crossing her arms. 

Leah nodded. “Nice to meet everyone.”

“Leah will be coming with us into the castle. We’re lucky to have found her here in Redcliffe, we’ll need all the help we can get,” Elissa said.

“Then it must have been the Maker’s will that brought the two of you together again,” Leliana chimed in.

“Well I am an excellent human shield. And I have a shield of my own, so two for the price of one,” Leah joked.

“Hey, bad jokes are my territory,” Alistair said.

“‘Bad’ jokes?” Leah said. “I’ll have you know my jokes are top-notch.”

“For once I agree with the dumb one,” Morrigan said.

“Wow, tough crowd,” Leah said.

“If you’re all quite finished, can we…?” Elissa gestured towards the windmill. 

She led the party inside and revealed the hidden passage. When they emerged on the other side and entered the castle, they found a dungeon with several empty cells and three possessed corpses attacking the one occupied cell.

The group took care of the corpses without much difficulty. Afterwards, the occupant of the cell called out.

“Hello? Who’s there? Is there anyone alive out there?”

Elissa approached the prisoner.

“You don’t look like the arlessa’s guards. Are you from outside the castle?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Elissa said. “Who are you?”

“My name is Jowan. Lady Isolde hired me to tutor her son, Connor. Until they threw me into the dungeon, that is.”

“So you are the one who poisoned the arl,” Elissa said.

“I’m not proud of it, but yes,” Jowan admitted. He stepped closer to the cell door and wrapped his hands around the bars. “But I’m not responsible for the creatures and the killings in the castle. I know it looks suspicious, but I was already imprisoned when all that began.” 

He stepped back and paced the cell. “At first, Lady Isolde came here with her men demanding I reverse what I’d done. I thought she meant my poisoning of the arl. That’s the first I heard about the walking corpses. She thought I’d summoned a demon to torment her family and destroy Redcliffe.” Jowan’s eyes lowered. “She… had me tortured. There was nothing I could do or say that would appease her. So they left me to rot.”

“So why did you poison the arl?” Elissa asked. She appeared unmoved by his story.

Jowan became animated once again and returned to the bars. “I was instructed to by Teyrn Loghain. I was told that Arl Eamon was a threat to Ferelden, that if I dealt with him, Loghain would settle matters with the Circle. You see, I’m a maleficar: a blood mage.”

“A blood mage? That isn’t good,” Alistair said.

Jowan grimaced. “I dabbled in the forbidden arts, and they condemned me to death for it. I thought Loghain was giving me a chance to redeem myself. But he’s abandoned me here, hasn’t he? Everything’s fallen apart and I’m responsible! I have to make it right somehow.”

“What is it with this Loghain?” Leah said to Elissa. “He’s supposed to be some kind of hero, but he sounds way more like a conniving murderer to me.” 

“He was a hero, once. He helped King Maric defeat the Orlesians. Then again, this was the same war in which Howe fought alongside my father. He saved Howe’s life, and look what he did in return. It would seem both of them have a darkness in their hearts that no kindness or camaraderie can penetrate.” Elissa paused, then looked back up at Jowan. “Why did the arlessa need a mage to tutor her son?”

“Connor had started to show… signs,” Jowan said. “Lady Isolde was terrified the Circle would take him away for training.”

“Connor? A mage? I can’t believe it.” Alistair furrowed his brow.

Jowan continued. “She sought an apostate, a mage outside the Circle, to teach her son in secret so he could learn to hide his talent. Her husband had no idea.”

Elissa crossed her arms and thought for a moment. She turned to Alistair. “If he’s telling the truth and he didn’t summon the corpses, it’s possible Connor had something to do with it. Isolde was very vague about what had happened to her son. I could tell she was hiding something.”

“I thought that too,” Jowan jumped in. “Connor has little knowledge of magic, but he may have done something to tear open the Veil. That would allow spirits and demons to infiltrate the castle. Powerful ones could kill and create those walking corpses.”

“Why would Isolde be frightened of her son becoming a mage?” Elissa asked.

“Because he would be taken away. Forever. And a mage cannot inherit a title, not even the son of a powerful arl,” Jowan said. “She is also a pious woman. Her son having magic was… humiliating.”

“Arl Eamon had no idea about any of this?” Alistair asked.

“No. She was adamant that he never find out. She said that he’d do the right thing, even if that meant losing their son. And that infuriated her.”

Elissa took another turn questioning Jowan. “How much magic did you teach Connor?”

“Some. But he’s still very young. He can barely cast a minor spell— never mind something more powerful. At least, not intentionally. Like I said, he may have torn the Veil accidentally. If he’s involved in this at all. I really don’t know.”

“I see,” Elissa sighed. “I think I understand.”

“I never meant for it to end like this, I swear. Let me help you fix this,” Jowan begged.

“I say this boy could be of use to us,” Morrigan suggested. “But if not, then let him go. Why keep him prisoner here?”

Alistair shook his head. “No, he’s a blood mage! You can’t just… set a blood mage free!”

“Better to slay him? Better to punish him for his choices? Is this Alistair who speaks or the templar?” Morrigan countered. 

“I'd say it's common sense. We don't even know the whole story yet,” Alistair said. 

Leliana jumped in to the debate. “He wishes to redeem himself... doesn't everyone deserve that chance?”

“Like yourself, you mean?” Morrigan said.

“Everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves in the Maker's eyes; this man no less than any.”

“I don't know,” Alistair sighed. “He is a blood mage... but this is an unusual situation.”

“Give me a chance, please!” Jowan said. 

Elissa eyed the mage. “How will you make things right, exactly?”

“I'd... well, I'd try to save anyone still up there. There must be something I can do.” 

“And after that, what happens?” she pressed him. 

“Afterwards? I assume I'll be arrested. Or executed. Or... whatever people like me get. I'm tired of running from the Circle. I need to account for what I've done,” Jowan said. 

“Hmm. That's commendable if it's true.”

“I'm glad you think so. So what now?” the mage asked.

Elissa took a deep breath. “I think it would be best if you stayed in your cell for now. If you're telling the truth and can do some good for the people up there, then you'll be safer here. I'm sure there will be more of these creatures waiting for us. If you're lying however... well, then these bars will be enough to keep you from doing any more harm.”

Jowan’s gave a resigned nod. “Then I will wait. If you change your mind, I will be here.”

As the group moved on, Leah snuck one last glance at Jowan. The way Alistair spoke of blood mages, they sounded evil and dangerous. But Jowan didn’t look dangerous. He looked sad and regretful. She thought back to Moore, how afraid he was of her. How desperate he was to keep the templars away. Perhaps he would have faced the same fate as Jowan.

* * *

Elissa was right; there were many more corpses throughout the castle. Room by room they methodically fought and killed any creatures they discovered. By some miracle, they found the blacksmith’s daughter Velanna hiding in a closet. By that time, many of the corpses were slain, and she was able to run for the door.

Out in the courtyard, the party discovered more of the undead as well as a new and much more dangerous enemy. 

“A revenant. Wonderful,” Morrigan muttered. 

“A what?” Leah said. 

The raven-haired mage sighed. She used a cold spell to freeze the revenant. “Have your shield ready for when he thaws,” she said. Next she summoned a new spell that bathed their weapons in a blue light. “That will help.”

While Leah and Alistair distracted the revenant, Elissa ran to the gate. Redcliffe’s knights were waiting on the other side, eager for battle. She pulled down on the nearby lever to let them in. By that time the revenant was no longer frozen. It knocked Leah and Alistair to the ground and used some kind of magic to pull Elissa clear across the courtyard towards him. 

Alistair got to Elissa just in time to protect her from the revenant’s sword with his shield. “Glad you could join us,” he said, grunting with effort. 

“I was feeling a little left out,” Elissa joked back.

“GUYS!” Leah shouted as the revenant turned on her. “Flirt later, fight now!”

Elissa and Alistair both blushed, then got up to attack while the revenant’s back was turned to them. 

With time, Leliana’s arrows and Morrigan’s continued spellcasting the three warriors finished the revenant off as the knights took care of the corpses. 

Once the courtyard was cleared, they all entered the main hall. What they found was perhaps the strangest sight Leah had seen in Thedas yet. Bann Teagan was dancing and doing acrobatics as a young boy clapped and encouraged him. Isolde stood next to the boy, slumped and dejected. 

When Teagan stopped, the boy acknowledged their party. When he spoke, it was eerie; it sounded like two voices together, one human and one demonic. It was quite clear that he was behind the creatures in the village, as Elissa and Jowan suspected. Isolde continued to blame Jowan, but Morrigan pointed out that it was the boy who made a deal with a demon and became, in her words, “an abomination.” 

The word sent a chill up Leah’s spine. Moore had accused her of being an abomination. She felt a pang of fear. While she knew she was nothing like the possessed boy in front of her, she caught a brief glimpse of how she might sound to others in this world. Her decision to lie to Elissa had clearly been the right one, no matter how guilty she might feel.

As Elissa continued to speak to Connor and Isolde, Connor grew more agitated. Soon, he ran off and left the group to fight off both Teagan and several guards that were under his control. 

When the fight was over, Teagan was alive and himself once again. 

“Teagan? Teagan, are you all right?” Isolde asked. 

“I am... better now, I think. My mind is my own again,” he said. 

“Blessed Andraste! I would never have forgiven myself had you died, not after I brought you here. What a fool I am.” Isolde turned to Elissa. “Please! Connor's not responsible for this! There must be some way we can save him.”

Elissa frowned. “You knew about this all along.”

Isolde looked down. “I... yes. I didn't tell you because I believed we could help him.”

“Clearly, the child is an abomination. There is only one way to stop it,” Morrigan said.

Leah stilled again. She had a feeling she knew what that one way was, and it made her blood run cold.

“He is not always the demon you saw. Connor is still inside him, and sometimes he breaks through. Please, I just want to protect him,” Isolde begged. 

“Isn't that what started this?” Teagan said to Isolde. “You hired the mage to teach Connor in secret... to protect him.”

“If they discovered Connor had magic, then they'd take him away! I thought if he learned just enough to hide it, then…” Isolde trailed off.

Elissa interrupted her. “Where is Connor now? Why did he run?”

“I think he ran upstairs, to the family quarters,” Teagan said. 

“Violence scares him,” Isolde said. “I know that sounds strange. He may have run up to his room, or…”

“Or he might be waiting in ambush?” Alistair offered. 

“I don't know. The fighting may have scared Connor into coming out again, and so he ran.”

“So you're saying he may be vulnerable?” Teagan asked.

Isolde swallowed. “I... perhaps. Is there... is there no other way?”

“So you had no idea the man you hired was an assassin?” Elissa asked. 

“None. I trusted Loghain. Why wouldn't I? How could I have suspected the mage he sent would be a murderer?” Isolde said.

Leah gave Elissa a pointed look. “Everyone trusts this guy. I wonder how many more people he has to murder before they start rethinking that,” she murmured. 

Elissa grimaced. 

“And Eamon knew nothing of your plans? Do you not realize what you've done, Isolde?" Teagan said.

“Eamon would only demand we do the right thing! I was not going to lose my son! Not to... to magic!” Isolde said, disdain in her voice. 

“And now you may lose him anyway,” Elissa pointed out.

“No, no please! There must be another way! There must be something we can do!” Isolde pleaded. 

Elissa sighed and looked around at her companions. “What are our options?”

Alistair cleared his throat. “I wouldn't normally suggest slaying a child, but... he's an abomination. I'm not sure there's any choice.”

“We can't kill a young boy, demon or no demon. Please don't say we're considering that!” Leliana said. 

“Connor is my nephew, but... he is also possessed by a demon. Death would be... merciful.” Teagan said. 

“No!” Isolde protested. “What... what about the mage? He could know something of this demon! If he still lives, we could speak to him!”

“He's down in the dungeon, still alive,” Elissa said. 

“Then we should bring him here immediately,” Isolde said. “I do not know how much we can trust him, but we must find out what knows. Teagan, could you find him?”

Teagan sighed. “I will try, though if resists I will not hesitate to kill him. I'll return shortly.”

After a few minutes, Teagan returned with Jowan. 

“You're lucky to be alive, Jowan. After all you've done,” Isolde admonished him.

“I didn't summon any demon, Lady Isolde,” the mage said. “But I did poison the arl... and that started all this. I'm willing to help, if you'll let me.” He turned to Elissa. “The demon in Connor needs to be destroyed. Killing him is the easiest way to do that, certainly. But there is another way. A mage could confront the demon in the Fade, without hurting Connor himself.”

“What do you mean?” Teagan asked. “Is the demon not within Connor?”

“Not physically,” Jowan explained. “The demon approached Connor in the Fade while he dreamt, and controls him from there. We can use the connection between them to find the demon.”

“You can enter the Fade then? And kill the demon without hurting my boy?” Isolde asked, hope entering her voice for the first time.

“No,” Jowan said. “But I can enable another mage to do so. It normally requires lyrium and several mages, but I have... blood magic.”

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “What different does that make?”

“Lyrium provides the power for the ritual,” Jowan explained. “I can take that power from someone's life energy. This ritual requires a lot of it, however. All of it, in fact.”

“So... someone must die? Someone must be sacrificed?” Teagan asked. 

“Yes, and then we send another mage into the Fade. I can't enter because I'm doing the ritual.” Jowan sighed. “Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. It’s not much of an option…”

Elissa furrowed her brow. “Is there no other method?”

“The power has to come from somewhere, and that means either lyrium or... blood,” Jowan said. 

“Then let it be my blood. I will be the sacrifice,” Isolde insisted. 

“What? Isolde, are you mad?” Teagan said. “Eamon would never allow this!”

“Either someone kills my son to destroy that thing inside him or I give my life so my son can live. To me, the answer is clear.”

Alistair jumped in. “Blood magic. How can more evil be of any help here? Two wrongs don't make a right.”

“It does seem like a sensible choice, with a willing participant,” Morrigan said. 

Isolde was adamant. “Connor is blameless in this. He should not have to pay the price.”

Teagan frowned, but turned to Elissa. “It... it's up to you, my friend. You know more about such things than I do, and it's your companion going into the Fade. The decision is yours.”

Elissa balked. “I’m afraid I don’t know anything more than you, Bann Teagan. This is all foreign territory for me. I can’t help thinking there must be another way to enter the Fade.”

After a moment of silence, Leah spoke up. “Jowan said you needed either blood or lyrium and mages. Is there someplace you could get the latter?”

“The Circle of Magi,” Elissa and Alistair said at the same time. Both their eyes lit up.

“The Circle Tower's not far from here,” Elissa said. 

“And one of the Grey Warden treaties is for the Circle of Magi,” Alistair added. 

“The tower is about a day's journey across the lake. You could attempt to get the mages' help,” Teagan said. 

“But what will happen here?” Isolde said. “Connor will not remain passive forever.”

“If there’s a way to save you both, I have to take that chance. If I can help it, I won’t separate a mother from her child,” Elissa said, taking Isolde’s hands in hers. 

Teagan watched their exchange. “Very well. I will keep Jowan here as a precaution. He says he wants to help, so he will keep an eye on Connor with us. Go to the tower quickly. The longer you are away the greater the chances of disaster.”

Elissa nodded and gestured for Leah and the rest of her companions to follow her out of the castle.

* * *

The group left Redcliffe and headed towards a camp not far outside the village. There was a large campfire set up in the middle of a circle of tents.

“I’ll help you put together your own tent, but first I want to introduce you to one more person,” Elissa said, her tone upbeat as usual despite the graveness of their recent mission. 

As they moved further into camp, Leah started and stepped back. There was a gigantic, muscled man standing at the back of the clearing by himself. 

Elissa noticed where Leah was looking. “That’s him. Don’t worry, he’s Qunari, but he’s helping us.”

“Yeah, I gathered the Qunari part. I just… I’ve read about them, but I’ve never met one,” Leah said. 

“He’s a bit strange, but otherwise honorable and a powerful fighter. He was jailed in a cage in Lothering, and we helped set him free. He’s pledged himself to the Grey Warden cause,” Elissa explained.

“Interesting...”

Elissa smiled. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.” She moved towards the Qunari. 

“This is Sten.” Elissa smiled. “Sten, this is Leah. She was a soldier in Highever. We found her in Redcliffe, she was part of their militia.”

“Hello,” Sten replied. 

“Um… hi,” Leah said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Is it? You seem nervous, not pleased.”

Leah gave him a tight smile. “Okay, good talk.”

“Don’t mind her,” Elissa said to Sten. “We’ve been fighting off the undead all night. In fact, I think we could all use something to eat right now.” Elissa put an arm around Leah and moved her back towards the center of camp. 

“Do you need any help?” Leah asked.

“No no, you’re our guest tonight! Just relax.” Elissa rummaged through their stored food. “Do we have any meat around?”

A series of progressively louder barks approached the group from the shadows. 

“Oh! Bones, there you are,” Elissa said.

The Mabari bounded near the campfire, bypassing Elissa completely to attack Leah with kisses. 

Leah fell to the ground laughing and embracing Bones in return. “Aw Bones, I missed you too.”

The dog yipped in joy and resumed the reunion. 

Leah wrested his face away from hers and gave his flanks a vigorous rub. “You haven’t changed a bit. Still the handsomest boy in Ferelden.”

Bones barked in affirmation and panted. He collapsed on his side seeking a belly rub, and Leah complied. 

“Who’s a good Mabari? Who’s the bestest goodest Mabari?” Leah cooed to him and kissed him on the head.

Bones’ tongue lolled out of his mouth and he laid his head back against Leah’s leg. 

“He’s supposed to be a war dog. You’re going to spoil him!” Elissa laughed at the display in front of her.

“Good!” Leah said. “He deserves all of the spoiling.” 

Bones sighed contentedly. 

“I’ll leave you two alone, then.” Elissa walked away to continue her search for dinner. 

Despite living off of food scavenged during their travels, Elissa whipped up a hearty meal for her companions in honor of Leah joining their quest. The group made some small talk over dinner, but it was clear they were focused on the food for the time being. 

Afterwards, everyone sat near the campfire, basking in the glow of a good meal. Bones stuck by Leah’s side, enjoying her absent-minded ear scratches. 

Late in the evening, a light rain started falling and a cold wind blew through the camp. Leah curled into a ball, even next to the fire. 

“Ohhh,” she shivered. “I miss sleeping indoors already.”

“You are definitely not from Ferelden. This is nothing. Wait until the Mabari stink sets in,” Alistair joked.

Bones appeared to be dozing, but directed a light growl at Alistair.

Morrigan jumped in. “I hate to tell you this Alistair, but that’s you, not the dog.”

He made a face at the mage. 

“Boy, we should have made a bet guessing how long it would be before someone brought that up,” Leah said, giving Elissa a knowing look. 

“Oh Maker,” Elissa sighed.

“What?” Alistair asked. “Do I really smell that bad?”

“No, she meant the other part,” Elissa said.

“I need to wear a sign that says, ‘I don’t remember where I’m from, I woke up in Highever with no prior memories, please don’t ask me about it or point out obvious things I should know,’” Leah said. 

“That’s a long sign,” Elissa grinned.

Leah thought. “Okay, how about ‘Lost my memory, remember nothing, don’t ask.’”

“Much better,” Elissa said.

“It may still be too much for Alistair,” Morrigan said. “Can you read words more than four letters?”

“I can think of a few that apply to you,” Alistair retorted.

“Is that true?” Leliana ignored Alistair and Morrigan’s bickering. “You don’t know who you are or where you are from?”

Leah sighed and tilted her head. After what she witnessed in Redcliffe, she was more sure than ever of her need to lie, but it didn’t make her feel any better about it. “I know my name and who I am. I mean, as much as I can. I just don’t know where I’m from, why I was outside Highever. I had to relearn everything about Thedas when I woke up there.” 

She looked down to Bones, who also seemed to be listening to her with his kind, forgiving eyes. She scratched behind his ears, appreciating his silent, accepting nature. 

“I know I’m me,” Leah continued. “I know I like cheese. I like dogs.” She smiled at Bones. “I like trees and water. I like laughing more than crying. And I seem to like swords.”

A beat of silence fell.

“I like swords as well,” Sten said in his deep, even voice, without further comment.

Leah gave a brief smile. “Maybe it doesn’t matter how I got here. How any of us got here. It matters that we are here, together. Sharing a meal made with love in the cold Ferelden rain, on our way to fighting for something bigger than we are.”

Elissa smiled at Leah.

“Amen,” Leliana said.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah joins Elissa and her companions on their journey to the Circle tower in Lake Calenhad, but they find the tower under siege by demons. After the intense, disturbing things Leah experiences there she has a decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments and kudos and love! What a week. I'm so over the moon, I'm orbiting it like a satellite.
> 
> This is another whopper of a chapter. Once again, I just couldn't bring myself to cleave it in two. The consequence is that it may take more than a week for the next one, but I certainly hope not because boy I can't wait to get the next part.

The next day Leah, Elissa, Alistair and Morrigan made their way to the Ferelden Circle at Lake Calenhad. As soon as they entered the tower, they could tell something was wrong.

The leader of the templars confirmed their suspicions. He told them that the tower was compromised, and that he intended to invoke the Right of Annulment, which meant killing every mage in the tower to protect it. 

Elissa talked him out of it, provided they were able to sweep the tower and confirm that it was safe. He would only take First Enchanter Irving’s word, and so their task was set. 

The group had barely begun their sweep of the first floor when they found a senior enchanter and two apprentices protecting a group of children from a fiery demon. 

Leah was stunned by the sight of the demon. The trip to the Circle of Magi was supposed to be simple; Elissa would show up, she and Alistair would brandish their Grey Warden documents and they would get mages to help both in Redcliffe and against the darkspawn. Instead, she found herself locked in the tower with creatures like this demon as well as any number of mages who might still be alive, friendly or not. Leah regretted her decision to come along. 

When the demon was defeated, the senior enchanter turned to them. She recognized Elissa and Alistair. 

“I remember you.” She held a hand up. “Don’t come any closer, Grey Warden or no I will strike you down where you stand!”

“You’re Wynne, right?” Elissa said. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m a mage of the Circle. Why are you here? The templars would not let just anyone by.”

“We came to the Circle to ask for assistance with another matter, but Greagoir told us the tower had been overrun with abominations,” Elissa explained.

“Did the templars let you in because they plan to attack the tower?” Wynne asked.

Elissa grimaced. “Greagoir has sent for the Right of Annulment, but it has not arrived yet.”

“I feared that was the case.” Wynne shook her head. “So Greagoir thinks the Circle is beyond hope. He probably assumes we are all dead. We’ve survived this long, but if they invoke the Right, we will not be able to stand against them.”

“What happened, Wynne?” Elissa asked.

“We had something of a revolt on our hands, led by a mage named Uldred,” Wynne explained. “He was at Ostagar as well. When he returned, he tried to take over the Circle. As you can see, it didn’t work out how he planned. I don’t know what became of him, but I am certain this is his doing. I will not lose the Circle to one man’s pride and stupidity.” Wynne gestured towards the door. “I created a barrier over the door leading to the rest of the tower, so nothing from inside could attack the children. You will not be able to enter the tower as long as the barrier holds, but I will dispel it if you join with me to save this Circle.”

“That is exactly my intention,” Elissa said.

“You want us to assist this preachy school mistress?” Morrigan spoke up. “To rescue these pathetic excuses for mages?”

“Morrigan…” Elissa warned.

“They allow themselves to be corralled like cattle. Now their masters have chosen death for them and I say let them have it.”

Elissa clenched her jaw. “I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’ve made my decision, and we are helping them.” Her voice was firm and allowed no room for argument.

Leah had not seen this side of Elissa before. She could be quite stubborn of course, but had never exerted her authority over anyone in Highever. Leah considered the fact that Grey Wardens were required to make difficult decisions. Elissa had been through a lot to get to this point. Wynne had been with Elissa and Alistair at Ostagar and survived; Morrigan had not. 

Morrigan scoffed at Elissa. “Fine. Have it your way.”

“Once Greagoir sees that we have made the tower safe, I trust he will tell his men to back down. He is not unreasonable,” Wynne said.

Elissa nodded. “I convinced Greagoir to wait; I told him that I wanted to try to save as many mages as possible. He said he would only take First Enchanter Irving’s word that the tower was safe. Have you seen him? Is he still alive?”

“I do not know where he is. But if anyone could survive this, it would be Irving. We must find him.” Wynne turned to the other mages. “Petra and Kinnon, stay here and keep the children safe.” Wynne moved to the barrier. “Stand back.” 

The senior enchanter removed the barrier, then turned towards Elissa. “After you.”

Elissa entered first. Alistair and Leah followed, so Wynne and Morrigan took the rear. Wynne gave Leah a curious look as she passed, but did not say anything. Leah tried to pretend she hadn’t noticed and hurried to catch up with Elissa. She swore she could feel the two mages at her back watching her, evaluating her. She broke out in a cold sweat at the thought. 

“Are you alright?” Alistair asked her in a low voice.

Leah nodded. “As alright as I can be walking into a nest of demons. I’ve never seen anything like that thing back there,” she whispered back.

“I imagine this must be far out of your range of experience,” he said.

“That is an understatement. A month ago I had never even killed a man before. Now I’ve killed more than a few men, battled shambling corpses and a revenant, and am currently locked in a tower with demons and abominations. It’s a little much.”

“I get that. But you also have two Grey Wardens, a Circle mage, and a powerful witch with you. We’ll make it through this,” he reassured her.

“Did you just say something positive about Morrigan?” Leah teased.

“Maker help me, I think I did. I must be coming down with something,” Alistair said.

Leah chuckled. “I’m glad you and Elissa are here. And I don’t doubt Morrigan or Wynne.” She glanced behind her to check if the two mages were listening. They were busy, already arguing. “But to be honest, magic still makes me uncomfortable sometimes.”

“I see,” Alistair said. “I suppose if you haven’t been exposed to it very much, it can be strange. That’s probably part of why so many people do fear mages. That and the fact that they’re in danger of being possessed by demons. Like poor Connor. But magic itself isn’t inherently bad. Of course I say that as we traverse a tower filled with abominations which appears to stem from the actions of what was once a trusted Circle mage. Maybe that’s just people, though. Same as Loghain abandoning Cailan. Same as Arl Howe attacking Highever.” 

Leah thought about his comparison to Howe’s betrayal. Alistair wasn’t wrong. “Hmm. You may have a point. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better about magic or worse about people.”

“That’s the spirit,” Alistair joked. “Don’t get me wrong, a sword can’t control your mind like blood magic can. If it helps, before I became a Grey Warden I was training to become a templar. I never finished the process, but I still have a useful trick or two up my sleeve.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “You? A templar? I have a hard time picturing that.”

“You’re telling me. That’s why I was so grateful when Duncan recruited me. I hated it at the monastery. Joining the Grey Wardens was the best thing that could have happened to me.”

Leah looked over at Alistair. “I’m glad you became a Warden then. That you were there with Elissa at Ostagar. You have a lot riding on your shoulders, the both of you. Yet here you are, trying to ease my mind about magic even while we march towards an untold number of demons and abominations.” She sighed and smiled. “You’re a good one, Alistair. Thank you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I… of course. That’s what people should do for each other, right?”

“They don’t always,” Leah said. “Are you having trouble knowing what to do with a genuine compliment?” She smirked at him.

“Yes, I’m very uncomfortable. If you think of an insult to my intelligence or hygiene it would go a long way,” he said.

“I’ll talk to Morrigan,” Leah said. “I’m sure she has plenty of ideas.”

“No end to them, it seems,” Alistair muttered.

* * *

The party made their way through the tower room by room, floor by floor, killing any enemies they came across. There were few survivors who did not try to kill them on sight. They were already exhausted when they reached the central chamber on the fourth floor. Upon entering, they saw an abomination crouched over a body.

“Oh, look,” it said. “Visitors. I'd entertain you but... too much effort involved.”

“Don’t trouble yourself on our account,” Elissa said. “We’ll just kill you and be on our merry way. You don’t have to lift a finger.”

“But why? Aren't you tired of all the violence in this world? I know I am,” the demon replied. “Wouldn't you like to just lay down and forget about all this? Leave it all behind?”

“This is ridiculous,” Morrigan said, already yawning. “You cannot expect me to rest on a floor sticky with blood…”

“Resist. You must resist, else we are all lost…” Wynne protested.

“Why do you fight?” the demon said. “You deserve more. You deserve a rest. The world will go on without you.”

Leah felt sleep fall heavy upon her, and everything faded to black.

* * *

She woke up somewhere she didn’t recognize, with a thick fog outside of the ten foot radius she currently occupied.

“Where am I?” Leah began to panic. She tried to steady her breath, then she stood up and walked to edge of the fog to see further. There was nothing but more fog. She turned around and saw a figure. It was her mother.

Leah’s heart stopped. “Mom,” she squeaked.

“Why aren’t you ready yet, sweetie?” Her mother smiled. “Everyone’s waiting downstairs.”

Leah forgot where she was and why. She only focused on her mother. “Ready for what?”

“Your birthday!” her mother said. “We’re going out for pizza. Like we always do?” She stepped closer to Leah, now concerned. “Are you feeling alright?”

Leah stepped back instinctively. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You look pale. Let me feel your forehead.” 

Leah stepped back again to avoid her mother’s hand on her head. “This isn’t right. I was somewhere else. A tower.”

Her mother paused. “I think you might have a fever. You’re not making sense. I’ll tell everyone to go ahead, and I’ll stay to make you some soup.” She turned away from Leah.

“No,” Leah closed her eyes and struggled against the whispers in her mind. “You’re not my mother.”

“What?” her mother turned back. “You must be very sick, I might have to call the doctor.”

Leah drew her sword. “Nice try. My mother’s caught me in enough fake illnesses to know she should take my temperature before calling a doctor.”

The thing that was pretending to be her mother frowned. “You’re being very difficult, sweetie. You should just let me take care of you. Stop fighting.”

“Never,” Leah growled. “I might never see my mother again, but I sure as hell won’t accept a pathetic substitute.”

The fake mother lunged at her, and they grappled. 

Leah realized there was only one way out of this, and though it made her want to vomit she pushed the fake mother away and stabbed her in the heart. She knew it wasn’t real, but the image of her mother at the end of her sword still brought tears to Leah’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, as if the message could get across to her real mom. 

The demon-mom fell to the ground, but didn’t disappear. 

Leah backed away to a nearby rock, and slid down its face to the ground, still staring at the demon, sword in hand. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed. 

After a few minutes passed, Leah thought she heard voices nearby. Then fighting. Despite the recent deception, she wiped the tears from her face, rose to her feet, and followed the sound. She found Wynne and Elissa just as they finished a battle with more demons. She approached Elissa from behind.

“Elissa…” Leah whispered.

Elissa whirled around, then saw Leah and let out a breath. “Leah, I almost skewered you. Are you okay? Did they—” Elissa saw the hollow look in Leah’s eyes. “Oh Maker.”

“Yeah, they did. But I figured it out.”

“It’s the Fade. The demon that rules here is doing it,” Elissa said.

“Sure. Of course. Those wiley demons,” Leah replied.

“What… or who… did you see?” Elissa asked.

Leah glanced up at her, then looked away. “It doesn’t matter. I killed it. Let’s—” 

The air around both Leah and Wynne shimmered and faded.

Leah’s pain morphed into anger. “Goddamnit. I hate the Fade. I fucking hate the fucking—-” she was transported to a new location mid-sentence. 

“—Fade. The teleporting and the demons. Fuck you, Fade!” Leah called out. She looked around and realized that Alistair, Morrigan and Wynne were all with her.

“So... I take it you don’t like the Fade,” Alistair said.

Leah turned on him, sword in hand. “No. I fucking hate it. I. Hate. The. Fade.”

He held his hands up. “Okay. Got it. Hate the Fade.”

“Calm down, child. Let me help cleanse your mind.” Wynne began to cast a spell.

“No, absolutely not. No magic. I’m not confused, I’m angry.” Leah backed away from the mage.

Wynne frowned. 

Morrigan snorted. “You’re worse than Alistair.”

Leah pointed her sword at Morrigan. “I don’t want to hear it. We need to get the fuck out of here. Who do I have to kill?”

Elissa appeared a moment later. “Well, big surprise, but a demon.”

“Fine, let me at him,” Leah said. 

“I might have to do the heavy lifting,” Elissa said. “And don’t panic if you see me… change forms. I’ve picked up some tricks while I’ve been here.”

Leah stared blankly at her. “Sure, why wouldn’t that make sense. Why not. Let’s do it.”

A demon appeared before the group.

“What do we have here?” the demon said. “A rebellious minion? An escaped slave? My my... you do have some gall. But playtime is over. You all have to go back now.”

“You made a dangerous enemy, demon, by toying with my mind,” Morrigan said.

“You will not hold us. We found each other in this place and you cannot stand against us.” Wynne added.

“If you go back quietly, I'll do better this time. I'll make you much happier,” the demon said.

“We don't want anything you offer,” Elissa sneered.

“I made you happy and safe. I gave you peace. I did my best for you and you say you want to leave? Can't you think about someone other than yourself? I'm hurt, so very, very hurt,” the demon said.

“You’re about to hurt a lot more,” Leah said.

“You wish to battle me?” the demon said. “So be it... you will learn to bow to your betters, mortal!” It changed into a gigantic horned creature. 

To counter the demon, Elissa morphed into a huge creature made of stone and began attacking.

“What the fuck is that?” Leah asked, looking over at Alistair. 

He shrugged and began attacking the demon. 

Leah sighed and followed. “I really hate the Fade.”

With the help of Elissa’s new ability to shapeshift into other beings, the group fought through each of the demon’s forms. Once it was vanquished for good, a mage with dark brown hair appeared and spoke to Elissa as if they already knew each other.

“There you are, Niall,” Elissa said.

“You defeated the demon. I never thought... I never expected you to free yourself, to free us both,” Niall said, looking at Elissa in awe. He set his jaw. “When you return, take the Litany of Adralla from my body. It will protect you from the worst of the blood magic.”

“Aren't you coming to help?” Elissa asked.

The mage shook his head. “I cannot go with you. I have been here far too long. For you it will have been an afternoon's nap. Your body won't have wasted away in the real world while your spirit lay in the hands of a demon.”

Elissa frowned. “You think you're going to die?”

“Every minute I was here, the sloth demon was feeding off of me, using my life to fuel the nightmares of this realm. There is so little of me left…” Niall trailed off. “I was never meant to save the Circle, or survive its troubles. I am dying. It is as simple as that.”

“There must be something I can do,” Elissa insisted.

Niall gave her a small smile. “Thank you, but it is too late for me. I do not fear what may come. They say we return to the Maker in death, and that isn't such a terrible thing,” he looked off in the distance, a thoughtful look on his face. He turned back to Elissa. “My only regret is that I could not save the Circle. But you can. You must remember to take the Litany off my body when you return. It is important!”

“But what about you?”

“I can rest easy knowing you will save the Circle. I'm not a hero. Perhaps trying to be one was foolish,” Niall said.

“That's not true. You did a lot to help the Circle,” Elissa assured him.

“Dark times, greater acts of heroism, eh? You may be right. Before I was taken to the Circle, my mother said I was meant for greatness, that I would be more than my ancestors could have ever dreamed. I hope I haven't disappointed her,” he said, his voice quiet.

“You didn't, Niall,” Elissa said.

“It is time for us both to be on our way. Remember the Litany. The Circle is all that matters now. Thank you and goodbye my friend.”

The Fade shimmered and evaporated. Leah groaned and opened her eyes. She rolled to one side and looked around. They were back in the room where they had been ambushed by the demon. Niall’s body was there with them.

Elissa rose from her place on the floor, then approached Niall. She went through his pockets and produced a scroll. She unrolled it, glanced at the contents and put it in her pack.

“The Litany?” Alistair asked.

Elissa nodded. “Thank you, Niall,” she whispered.

“Thank the Maker,” Wynne said. “With that we will be able to block blood magic and mind controlling spells.”

“That we will,” Elissa sighed. “We should keep going.”

* * *

Once they shook off the Fade’s lingering fog, the group continued to move through the tower. They entered a room near the top and found a templar named Cullen trapped inside a magical prison. He was delirious, and believed they were all illusions. Uldred had tortured him for an untold amount of time.

Elissa was eventually able to get through to Cullen, and he begged her to kill every mage left in the tower. Uldred was turning them into abominations, and Cullen believed the risk of letting even one possessed mage out of the tower was too great.

“Oh look,” Morrigan turned to Leah. “We’ve found you a kindred soul. Perhaps you agree with him that magic and therefore mages are too dangerous to live?”

Leah was taken aback. “I never said anything like that.”

“Your behavior in the Fade spoke volumes. And I’ve noticed how wary you are around Wynne and I. I can sense your distrust. Do you deny it?”

“I do, in fact.” Leah looked between Morrigan, Wynne and Cullen. “I don’t like the Fade because it defies everything solid and logical about the real world. As for the other thing… I have my reasons,” she said. “It’s not you. It’s me, and it’s private.”

“So you say. But your avoidance says otherwise. Shall I trust you with your sword if you do not trust me with magic?” Morrigan retorted.

Leah frowned and turned towards Morrigan. “I wouldn’t blame you for not trusting me with my sword, but you’re wrong about the latter. I know I’m an ass, and I say stupid things without thinking. But I do trust you. Both of you. It’s isn’t prejudice you sense.” 

_It’s something else_ , Leah said in her mind, _it’s something about me that I fear, that I worry you’ll fear_. 

Morrigan cocked her head and narrowed her eyes, and Leah almost wondered if she could hear her thoughts. 

“I suppose we shall see,” Morrigan said.

“I think we can save this for later,” Elissa interjected. She turned back to Cullen. “I understand your concerns, but I need to see what’s happening for myself before I decide on a course of action. I’ll be cautious, I promise.”

Cullen seemed dejected by Elissa’s decision, but admitted he was unable to do anything himself.

They entered the Harrowing Chamber in time to witness a bald mage, which Leah assumed was Uldred, and two abominations corrupting another mage. When they were finished, the former mage stood, a clone to the other abominations.

“Shit,” Leah hissed. A minute ago it had been a person. Now it was a monster, and they were going to have to kill it. Every abomination they had defeated throughout the tower had been a person before this horrific ordeal, and now they were all dead. 

There were still a few mages tied up around the edges of the chamber. Elissa and Uldred exchanged a few words, and then Uldred turned into a gigantic demon. While Elissa, Wynne and Morrigan went to work on the demon, Alistair and Leah ran to protect the bound mages. After Leah killed one oncoming abomination, a white pulsing light grew around the mages near her. 

“Ahh… is this a good thing, or…?” Leah shouted to the rest of the party. 

“Elissa, the Litany!” Wynne shouted. 

Elissa read from the scroll. The light around the mages disappeared, and Leah heard the demon roar in pain. Whatever magic the Litany had seemed to be able to both dispel blood magic and injure the person or demon casting it. 

The fight continued on this way until Elissa drove home a killing blow on the demon, and it fell with a heavy thud to the floor of the chamber. The group worked to untie the surviving mages. 

“Maker. I’m too old for this,” the eldest mage groaned as he stood.

“Irving! Are you all right?” Wynne asked.

“I’ve been better,” the First Enchanter said. “But I am thankful to be alive. I suppose that is your doing, isn’t it Wynne?”

“I wasn’t alone. I had help.” Wynne turned to the rest of the party, and Elissa gave her a smile in return.

Irving nodded. “The Circle owes you a debt we will never be able to repay. Come, the templars await. We shall let them know that the tower is once again ours.”

“Very well, lead on,” Elissa said.

“I’ll need you to guide me down the stairs. Curse whoever insisted the Circle be housed in a tower,” Irving muttered.

* * *

They found Cullen freed of his prison outside the Harrowing Chamber, and he reluctantly joined them on their trip back through each floor of the tower.

When they arrived back at the door the templars had sealed, Elissa banged on it loudly. 

“Unless you have the First Enchanter with you, I’ll not open this door,” Greagoir called out.

“Andraste preserve us. I’m here, Greagoir,” Irving replied. 

“Irving?” Greagoir said. He muttered something to the templars with him and the door opened. “Maker’s breath Irving, I did not expect to see you alive.”

Irving, the mages, Cullen and the party walked slowly back into the entrance of the tower. “It is over, Greagoir. Uldred is dead.”

“Uldred tortured these mages, hoping to break their wills and turn them into abominations. We don’t know how many of them have turned,” Cullen said to Greagoir. 

“What? Don’t be ridiculous!” Irving said.

Cullen turned to the First Enchanter. “Of course he’ll say that. He might be a blood mage himself.” He turned back to Greagoir. “Don’t you know what they did? I won’t let this happen again!”

Leah grimaced. Cullen’s anger was quick, and his fears— fair as they may be, given the torture he endured— made him appear paranoid. The fact that Morrigan compared Leah to him made her pause. 

Greagoir silenced Cullen with one wave of his hand. “I am the knight-commander here, not you.”

“If I may?” Elissa jumped in. “I believe order has been restored to the Circle.”

“I agree. We will rebuild. The Circle will go on, and we will learn from this tragedy, and be strengthened by it,” Irving said. 

Greagoir nodded. “We have won back the tower. I will accept Irving’s assurance that all is well.”

“But they may have demons within them, lying dormant… lying in wait!” Cullen protested.

“That’s enough, Cullen! I have already made my decision!” Greagoir’s voice softened when he turned to thank Elissa. “Thank you. You have proven yourself a friend of both the Circle, and the templars. We owe you a great deal.”

“Now that you mention it,” Elissa looked from Greagoir to Alistair. “We still require that aid in battling the darkspawn.”

“I did promise you aid, but with the Circle restored, my duty is to watch the mages,” Greagoir said. “They are free to help you, however. Speak to Irving about it, and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to assist.”

Elissa thought this over. “Then what will the templars do?”

“For now, I will have to oversee a sweep of the tower. There may be some survivors and we should do our best to tend to them. Please excuse me.” He turned to the First Enchanter and laid a hand on the mage’s shoulder. “And Irving, it is good to have you back.”

Irving gave him a weary smile. “Ah, I’m sure we’ll be at each other’s throats again in no time.”

Greagoir nodded and walked away. 

Irving sighed and gave his attention to Elissa. “Here we are, the tower in disarray, the Circle nearly annihilated… though it could have been much, much worse. I am glad you arrived when you did, Grey Warden. It’s almost as though the Maker himself sent you.”

“Well, the reason I came is partly due to the Blight. We require aid to fight the darkspawn.”

Irving nodded. “Then the least we can do is help you. I would hate to survive this only to be overcome by the Blight. You have my word, as First Enchanter. The Circle will join the Grey Wardens in the fight.”

Elissa smiled. “Thank you.”

“Irving, I have a request,” Wynne spoke up. “I seek leave to follow the Grey Warden.”

“We need you here, Wynne,” Irving said. “The Circle needs you.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but the Circle will do fine without me. The Circle has you. This woman is brave and good, and capable of great things. If she will accept me, I will help her accomplish her goals.”

“I would be honored to have you join us, Wynne,” Elissa said.

Irving shook his head. “You were never one to stay in the tower when there was adventure to be had elsewhere.”

“Why stay when I can be of service elsewhere?” Wynne said.

Leah thought back to her conversations with Elissa about leaving Redcliffe. When she agreed to follow Elissa into the castle, she thought she might return to the village after Eamon was healed. The idea still held some appeal, especially after the insanity of the Circle tower. If that was the kind of journey Elissa was on, Leah felt inclined to pick another path. But what if she could help? What if there was another village like Redcliffe out there, and she could protect somebody who couldn’t protect themselves? What if _this_ was the path that would finally lead her home?

“Alright,” Irving conceded. “I give you leave to follow the Grey Warden, but know that you will always have a place here.” He turned to Elissa. “There is much to be done here, and I must go. You must forgive me for not being a proper host.”

“If I can take one more moment of your time First Enchanter, there is another matter that brought me here,” Elissa said. “A possessed child in Redcliffe. We were hoping the Circle would help save him.”

“The child is possessed? But killing the demon would mean killing the—” Irving paused. “Unless you intend to enter the Fade? Yes… yes it can be done with a group of mages. I shall gather what mages I can and we shall leave promptly. A child’s life is at stake.”

“We’re grateful. We’ll see you at Redcliffe, then,” Elissa thanked him.

* * *

The party took a brief break along the way to stop and camp, but otherwise made haste in their journey back to Redcliffe. Irving and the Circle mages were there when they arrived.

“Ah! There you are,” the First Enchanter said. “We have brought lyrium and begun preparations for the ritual. We can start anytime.”

“Wonderful. Let’s do this now,” Elissa said.

“Who will go into the Fade?” Irving asked.

Elissa looked at the two mages with her and thought. Along the way, Wynne had suffered a strange fainting spell and Leah knew Elissa was worried about her. 

“Do you feel up for it, Morrigan?”

Morrigan raised an eyebrow and looked over at Wynne. “More than some, I assume. If that’s what you wish, I will go rescue the foolish boy from his poor decisions.”

Elissa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Can you refrain from insulting the child while you do so? Save it for the demon, at the very least.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Morrigan said. “No promises.”

Irving cleared his throat. “Then let us begin forthwith.”

The mages cast their spell, and Morrigan entered the Fade. There wasn’t much for anyone else to do but wait around. Luckily, it did not take her very long to navigate the Fade and defeat the demon. When she emerged, she unceremoniously crossed her arms. 

“There, it is done. The demon is dead, the boy is fine. You are welcome.”

“Thank the Maker!” Isolde said, tears in her eyes. She ran to find her son, who had remained hidden from them during the ritual. 

“Then it is over,” Teagan said. “I suppose we will need to send him to the Circle of Magi for training, once the war is finished. It’s so strange to think of the boy as a mage, of all things. Eamon has much to mourn and rebuild. But I’m sure he will be thankful that his son and wife are safe. Let us see if his condition has improved.”

“We will return to the Circle,” Irving said. “Our work here is done.”

“Thank you, First Enchanter,” Elissa said. “And we will be in touch about the Blight.”

Elissa, Alistair, Leah, Wynne and Morrigan followed Teagan to the family quarters. Isolde and Connor were already there at Eamon’s bedside. 

“How are they?” Teagan asked Isolde.

“I can scarcely believe it, but Connor is the boy he once was,” Isolde said, holding her son tight. She released him and turned to her husband. “Eamon is still unconscious, however. I cannot wake him.”

Teagan sighed. “I suppose it was too much to hope that defeating the demon would wake him.” He turned to Elissa. “There is still the matter of Jowan. His poisoning Eamon began this whole mess, yet he lives. Eamon will decide his fate if he recovers, but if he does not then I will be required to decide what becomes of him. What do you think?”

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want my opinion?”

“You spoke with him, have you not? You know what he has done better than I do, even.”

“I’m not sure that I do. I think you should do whatever you like with him. Otherwise let the Circle take that responsibility,” Elissa said.

“Then for now, he will stay in the dungeon,” Teagan looked down at his brother. “Whatever the demon did to Eamon, it seems to have spared his life, but he remains comatose.”

“The Urn!” Isolde said. “The Urn of Sacred Ashes will save him!”

Elissa nodded. “If that is what it takes, then I will find this Urn.”

“Thank you. I am grateful for your eagerness to help restore my husband,” Isolde clasped her hands in front of her. “Find Brother Genitivi— the scholar— in Denerim. He has been researching the Urn’s location for several years now. The knights that returned say that they were unable to find Genitivi, but perhaps the Maker will lead you to him.”

“I must go to the hall and begin rebuilding. I wish you luck, and may the Maker go with you,” Teagan said to Elissa.

As the group walked out of the castle, Leah stopped Elissa. 

“I need to go back to the village. I want to see how they’re doing. I know you need to look for the urn, but if you can spare a little more time, I’d like you to come with me. They might need help...” she trailed off.

“Of course, we’re not going anywhere without you. Let’s go,” Elissa smiled and put her arm around Leah. 

When they arrived in the village, everyone was at the docks. The villagers had cleaned up the bodies in Redcliffe, and were now sending them out into Lake Calenhad in boats. Once they were away, the archers shot flaming arrows into the boats. 

The sight tore at Leah. So many people had died, all because of one man’s power-grab, a mother’s secret, and a young mage preyed upon by a demon. 

“They’ll be safe for now, at least,” Elissa murmured as she approached Leah from behind.

“But not for long, am I right?” Leah asked, crossing her arms. 

“Not if we don’t stop Loghain and end the Blight.”

“Is it a safe bet to assume that things like… this,” Leah used both arms to gesture at the village, then let them flop down to her sides. “That they’re happening all over Ferelden?”

“Probably all over Thedas,” Elissa mused. “But yes,” she said, her voice grave.

Leah took a deep breath. “After what happened at the Circle, I was determined to stay here. It was just too much for me; the demons, the blood magic, the Fade. But now…” she shook her head. “How can I, knowing what you’re up against?”

“You could,” Elissa said. “I mean, I want you with us, but I wouldn’t blame you. What we’re doing is difficult and dangerous.”

“That’s why you shouldn’t be doing it alone.” Leah turned away from the lake to look Elissa in the eye. “Not that you’re alone, you have your ragtag group of companions. But you’re going to need all the help you can get. I don’t have much to offer, and I am not up for this religious quest you’re on. But I’ll do whatever else I can. Guard the camp, gather wood, feed the dog, anything. It’s better than sitting back and waiting.”

“I’m relieved to hear that.” Elissa smiled. “Speaking of, we should be off. We’re a long way from Denerim, and we need to find this Brother Genitivi as quickly as possible.”

“Lead the way,” Leah gestured back up the hill and away from Redcliffe.

* * *

The party returned to camp to decompress from the intense experience of both Redcliffe and the Circle before they continued on to Denerim. They dumped any extra equipment or loot, and Leah promised Elissa she would sort it out later.

Leah was still thinking about what Morrigan had said to her in the Circle Tower. She felt guilty. Up until now her only experiences with mages were Moore and Hermes, and she had to admit they were very different. One tried to harm her, the other healed her. 

While she was aware of her discomfort, she hadn’t realized how much she was avoiding other mages, nor that they picked up on it until Morrigan pointed it out. She was afraid. Moore had sensed that there was something wrong about her, and it scared him enough to hurt her in order to get her away from him. Her fear was that other mages would have the same reaction. 

But Morrigan was different. She was one of the most self-possessed people Leah had ever met, in her world or this one. She didn’t seem the type to scare easily. And she was right; Leah now saw how her behavior could be an insult to other mages. The last thing she wanted was to make them feel the way that Moore had made her feel.

With that in mind, Leah approached Morrigan’s area of the camp.

Morrigan was facing away from her, but acknowledged her presence before Leah had a chance to speak. “Have you come to continue our debate?”

Leah paused. “More to apologize.”

Morrigan turned towards her. “That is surprising.”

“I am sorry if I gave you the impression I didn’t trust you. Or that I was afraid of you. That’s not true. I don’t have much to compare to, but so far you’re the most capable person I’ve met here.”

“That is an interesting choice of words,” Morrigan observed.

“In a good way, or…?” Leah fidgeted.

“Mostly. That I’m the most capable person, not the most capable mage. That’s promising,” she tilted her head and looked down. “But more so that you say I’m the most capable person you’ve met _here_. That is intriguing. I can tell that you are afraid, but not of me.”

Leah swallowed hard. “Yes. It’s… I had a bad experience. Another mage that was afraid of me,” she looked Morrigan in the eye.

“How strange,” Morrigan mused. “He must have been a weak man.”

“I never said it was a man.”

“I’m aware,” Morrigan paused. “Despite what you may think I cannot read your mind. I do not know what it is that this man feared. I know there is something that weighs on you. I assume it is whatever occurred before you arrived in Highever. I cannot tell what it was, but I do not believe it is something to be feared. By you or anyone else.”

“That’s a confident statement to make. If you don’t know what it is, can you be sure it isn’t something dangerous?” Leah asked.

Morrigan gave her a discerning look. “I can, with as much confidence as you have in trusting me. You have little to base that on, yet you sense it. There may be people who fear you just as they would fear me, but I am not inherently dangerous. Wild, baseless fears are dangerous. You, I feel, are not. That unfortunately does not mean others won’t fear you.”

Leah nodded. “Strange how reassuring and terrifying that is at the same time.”

“And now you know what it’s like to be a mage,” Morrigan said.

“Hmm. You make a good point,” Leah said.

“You are welcome,” Morrigan turned back to her magical supplies.

“Thank you, Morrigan,” Leah walked away with much more to think about than she expected.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah visits Denerim for the first time, and while the party is away in Haven seeking the Urn of Sacred Ashes, she is left to watch over the elven assassin that has joined them after failing to kill Elissa and Alistair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every week I'm amazed when I see how many people are checking out this story. Thank you and welcome to any new readers!
> 
> Fun fact, I tend to write both fantasy and horror in equal measure. I take great delight in writing Leah's nightmares, so sorry/not sorry if they occasionally get a little gruesome and awful. 
> 
> I'm excited to finally bring Zevran in to the story. Nothing scandalous this chapter, but no promises for the future ;D

The journey to Denerim was long, as Elissa had said. The next time they set up camp, Leah asked her what the city was like.

“Oh, it’s been a long time since I’ve been there. But it’s big, and busy. There is a Chantry there of course— the city is known as the birthplace of Andraste. But there are also many merchants, stores, and a tavern. There’s an alienage where the elves live. And it has a…” Elissa cleared her throat. “A brothel. The Pearl.”

“‘The Pearl?!’” Leah guffawed. “Are you serious?”

Elissa reddened. “Yes, well. I’ve never been there, of course.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Of course.” She considered the information. “Well, if there are merchants and stores, I think that will be a good place to stock up. The dwarves that travel with us are handy for goods and enchanting, but this will be a great chance to find things they might not have.”

Elissa nodded. “That’s true. You should take a look around while we seek out Brother Genitivi.”

“That’s the plan. It’s much more my speed, after the demons and magic and possessions. I’ll take shopping for the time being,” Leah said, then thought back to what else Elissa had said about Denerim. “Hang on a second. You said something about an alienage?”

“Yes,” Elissa grimaced. “In cities like this, there are usually separate areas for the elves to live. They aren’t very nice places to be honest. It’s supposed to be a place for elves to live among their own, but it usually ends up a way to repress them without outright slavery. It’s horrid.”

Leah frowned. “That’s awful. Why can’t they live with humans?”

“Many humans would harass them, if not attack them. They still do, even with the alienages.”

“What? Why?” Leah asked.

Elissa took a deep breath. “Oh, that is a long story. I suppose the short version is that the elves have suffered much at our hands, especially the Imperium and the Chantry. They were enslaved for a long time, and still are in places like Tevinter. Some people consider them inferior beings or criminals that are little better than animals. It makes me sick, to be honest. They’re people. Just like us. I don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I,” Leah said, furrowing her brow. “That’s horrible.” She was dismayed both by the mistreatment itself and the fact that this facet of Thedas had slipped by her thus far.

“I’m afraid I have no optimistic platitudes to apply here. I wish it were not this way, but I have no idea how to solve such a problem. I certainly can’t as a Grey Warden. All I can do is vow to protect all Fereldans equally, regardless of their background. In fact, Alistair and I hope to visit the Dalish to enlist their help against the Blight.”

“The Dalish?” Leah said. She thought she remembered that word from the books she had read. Clearly the books had either sidestepped the issue of elven history, or she had been blind and missed it in her pursuit of a way home. 

Elissa nodded. “They live free of human rule, but are forced to be nomads and their mages are apostates. They try to preserve their culture as much as possible. They will be valuable allies, and I look forward to meeting them. Unfortunately that will have to wait as we attempt to cure Arl Eamon.”

Leah gave Elissa a small smile. “We’ll get there. One step at a time, right?”

“Right,” Elissa returned the smile. “For now, I believe dinner is our next step.” She placed a hand on Leah’s shoulder and walked off. 

Leah took a few more minutes to consider the plight of the elves. She thought back to Sylvia in Highever, and the elf outside of Moore’s home. Both had acted strange around her, but in different ways. The former was deferential and submissive, the latter was antagonistic. But both were the result of centuries of hate and prejudice. She wondered what they had each suffered to get where they were.

Despite everything Leah had been through, she was a human in a human-dominated world. She carried a privilege that an elf or even a mage wouldn’t have experienced. What if she had landed in a world where she was the subjugated race? What would have become of her then? The thought made her shiver in fear.

* * *

As they traveled to Denerim, Leah worked hard to keep busy around camp. There was plenty to do, and some of their fellow travelers were not very interested in mundane tasks. So she gathered firewood and herbs, fed and played with Bones, took care of their inventory and haggled with their tagalong Dwarven merchants, Bodahn and Sandal. It felt good to have a routine again, and to be of help in ways that didn’t include fighting monsters or men.

When they arrived in the city, she split off from Elissa, Alistair, Leliana and Morrigan.

“I’m going to spend some time in the market, then make my way around to the shops. I’ll meet back up with you later,” Leah said.

“Sounds good. We’ll see you soon,” Elissa smiled as her party walked off into another part of the city.

The merchants in the market came from all over Ferelden. Leah sold a great deal of inferior weapons and armor that Elissa had collected, and found a few quality pieces that she knew the others would appreciate. She stocked up on essentials: elfroot, flasks, lyrium, arrows, food. As she wandered the city she came upon a shop with a skull above the door. The sign said “Wonders of Thedas.”

“That sounds promising,” Leah mused as she entered.

There were many bookcases and displays within the shop. Leah felt a tingle thinking of the knowledge that might be contained within the walls. She approached the front desk.

“Welcome to the Wonders of Thedas,” the shopkeeper said in an even tone. He had a symbol on his forehead that she remembered from the Circle. He was Tranquil, which meant his connection to the Fade had been severed. “We carry items crafted by the Circle, as well as a variety of Antiquities. Is there anything you would like to see?”

“Nothing special,” Leah said. “I think I’ll just browse.”

The Tranquil mage said nothing more.

There were a great deal of unique items in the shop, but only a few Leah could justify purchasing for the good of their mission. She took her time perusing a few books, wondering if they might hold the secret of how to get home. She decided to purchase one with the little money she had personally collected, and used their collective gold to purchase a couple other items that Elissa might appreciate. 

As Leah left the shop, she spied Denerim’s tavern, The Gnawed Noble. 

“I think I’ve earned a drink,” she said to herself. She entered the tavern and found an empty table. The waitress had just served her drink when she saw Elissa and her companions enter. 

Leah sipped her ale and waited for them. 

“So, this is what you meant when you said you would go shopping?” Elissa smirked. 

“Don’t worry, I’m using my own coin for this. I finished with the rest. How’s it going with your task?” Leah asked. 

Elissa sighed. “Well, we didn’t find Brother Genitivi. But what we found indicated we should head towards a town called Haven. It’s back West, past Lake Calenhad.”

“Another long journey, then?” Leah said.

“It would seem so,” Elissa said.

“Then I’m going to finish this ale, if you’d all care to join me? I’ll show you what I found. There’s this amazing place called Wonders of Thedas...”

“Ooh! I’ve heard of that shop,” Alistair said as he sat down. “Did they… um, did they have any miniature golem dolls?”

Leah smirked. “I think I saw one, if you’d like to stop by again before we leave.”

Alistair gave Elissa an awkward grin, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh Maker, fine. What’s ten minutes given the two to three weeks it’ll take to get to Haven.”

“Ten minutes?” Leah balked. “You’re dreaming. Thirty, minimum.”

“No no, two minutes, tops,” Alistair promised. “I won’t look at anything else!”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Elissa said.

“That’s because it’s an outrageous lie,” Leah said. “You won’t be able to help yourself, as soon as you walk in that door,” she made a wide gesture with her arm, “you will be unable to tear your eyes away. You’ll forget what you went in for in the first place.”

“I won’t, I swear!” Alistair protested. He turned to Elissa. “I’ll go in, grab the golem, and we’re off.”

Elissa leaned over onto the table, chin in one hand, and just looked at him, eyebrows raised.

“Lies, lies, lies,” Leah grinned and returned to drinking her ale.

* * *

A couple of days into their long trip to Haven, Leah was sorting out the equipment and items they had collected and purchased thus far. She was so focused on her task she didn’t notice Wynne approach.

“Do you have a moment?” the older mage asked.

Leah jumped. “Wynne,” she exhaled. I didn’t see you there.”

“I apologize. I was hoping to speak with you.”

Leah wiped her hands on her leggings. “Sure, what did you want to talk about? If it’s my behavior in the Fade while we were at the Circle, I am sorry… I was just upset at what the demon was doing.”

Wynne waved her apology away. “No, I think I understand. I imagine it is a disorienting experience for non-mages. I was thinking about something else. Elissa told me about your memory loss.”

Leah looked everywhere except for Wynne. “I see. Well...” She settled on looking down as she crossed her arms. “That’s good. It’s not something I usually want to discuss.”

“I can see that.” Wynne raised an eyebrow. “You must have felt adrift when you awoke in Highever. As if you lost your former life.”

Leah nodded. “That’s a pretty accurate description. Everything was foreign to me.”

“And you have no inkling of what caused the memory loss?”

Leah shook her head and eyed Wynne.

“But you feel compelled to pursue what you lost. To find answers. Am I right?”

“You’re not wrong.” Leah pulled her arms in tighter. “Why, are you going to tell me you have some magic way for me to recover my memories?”

Wynne gave her a small smile. “No, I’m afraid I don’t know of any way to do that. Even if there were… I wanted to suggest something. Maybe you shouldn’t.”

Leah’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You wonder if your life could be better than what it is now. If you could find your home, your family. But you may not like what you discover. There are people in this world who would give anything to forget their past and start anew. Or you may never find what you are looking for, and waste your life and all its potential on a pointless search.”

“What if my family is out there looking for me? Friends? Are you saying I should forget that and move on?” Leah shook her head. “That’s cruel. For them and for me.”

“That is true. I don’t mean to suggest that you give up on that possibility entirely. But you can’t let the pain stop you from living your life,” Wynne said.

Leah sighed and uncrossed her arms. She turned away from Wynne to move back to her task. “No offense Wynne, but we just met. You’re making unfounded assumptions.”

“That does not mean I’m wrong.” Wynne moved to stay in Leah’s field of vision. “Let me explain. When I was a young woman in the tower I came to a realization that the Circle would be my life, and I would know no other. Family, love, a simple life— these were things that others took for granted, that I would never have. All I could think of was being trapped in that tower, with no way out and no end in sight.”

Leah almost dropped the helmet she was holding. The last sentence hit close to home.

It did not escape Wynne’s notice. “I started hating my life, and myself, and one night I found myself in the tower’s chapel. I was seeking refuge, maybe answers…”

Leah straightened up, helmet in hand. She snuck a glance at Wynne. “And did you find anything?”

“I must have looked tearful or made some noise, because the revered mother came out and decided to speak to me. Because I had no one else to talk to, I talked to her. I must have said many silly things. But she told me that the Maker puts us all on our paths for a reason, and fighting our intended course is what causes so much anguish.”

Leah considered the sentiment, but it saddened her further. “And that cured you of your frustration?”

“Not at all. I thought the old biddy was full of rubbish.”

Leah chuckled at Wynne’s youthful arrogance.. 

Wynne continued. “I was fifteen, maybe sixteen and of course I thought I knew everything. So I left. But I always found my way back to that chapel, and as the years passed I began to see the truth of her words.”

“Really,” Leah said.

“Yes.” Wynne said. “We were supposed to be polar opposites— mage and priest— but we weren’t. There was so much about us that was the same. The revered mother had lived in the Chantry her whole life, as I had been in the tower for all of mine. She taught me that you can find your family in the people around you; that you can love your work, find fulfillment in duty, and that there is joy even in self-sacrifice. If you put others before yourself, then their well-being is yours, and their happiness is your happiness.”

Leah looked out at the camp and sighed. These were the exact reasons she had agreed to follow Elissa, but she wondered sometimes if she was giving up on her family, on home. “That’s easier said than done,” she looked over at Wynne again. “I’m afraid I’m not as trusting in fate as you and the revered mother. Some things aren’t for a reason. They just are.”

“Then my advice stands. You can scream and cry and be angry about what happened to you, or you can accept it and allow yourself to see the good in it. Which would you rather do?”

Leah paused. “If screaming and crying and being angry gets me back what I lost, I’d rather do that,” she turned away from the mage again. “I appreciate the pep talk Wynne, but I have work to do.”

“Think about what I have said. Even if you don’t agree now, I hope that someday it will inspire some peace in you,” Wynne said.

Leah shrugged. “I suppose anything is possible.”

* * *

When they arrived near Haven a couple weeks later, they set up camp. Leah was still hesitant to set out on a new adventure, so Elissa, Alistair, Leliana and Morrigan left to visit Haven and find Brother Genitivi. Leah was surprised when they returned early with a new companion, an elf with long blond hair and two lethal daggers sheathed across his back.

“Back so soon? Or did it really take me that long to sort through the hundreds of pieces of worthless darkspawn equipment you seem to bring back everyday?” Leah joked. 

Elissa gave her an apologetic but serious look. “We ran into a little trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” Leah asked. 

“The assassin-y kind,” Alistair replied, throwing his sword to the ground, then gesturing towards the elf. “Leah, meet A Little Trouble.”

“His name is Zevran,” Elissa said, a warning tone in her voice meant for Alastair.

“A pleasure,” Zevran spoke with a distinct accent. He approached Leah with a slight swagger, took her right hand and kissed it. 

She felt a heat rise in her cheeks, but yanked her hand back when he released it. He was attractive enough, but if he was an assassin that was reason enough to be wary.

“If I’m meant to be a prisoner in the company of even more beautiful women, I’m a lucky man indeed,” he said.

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Well, he pours on the charm like he’s getting paid for it,” she said to Elissa.

“Usually I am,” Zevran smirked at Leah. “I’m quite good at it.”

“If your approach is to try to kill people with groan-inducing flattery, you might want to try using those daggers strapped to your back instead,” Leah retorted. 

“Loghain paid him to try to kill us. To kill Elissa,” Alistair grumbled.

This time both Leah’s eyebrows shot up. She turned to Elissa. “And you brought him _here_?”

Elissa sighed. “Loghain paid the Crows to have us killed. Zevran failed, and his life is now forfeit. The Crows may still come after me, and after him, but Zevran has pledged his daggers to our cause instead.”

“Really. Do any of _you_ believe him?” Leah aimed her question at Alistair, Leliana and Morrigan. 

“No. Not one bit,” Alistair said. 

“I don’t think he will try anything,” Leliana spoke up. “He’s right, since he failed to kill Elissa and Alistair, if the Crows find him alive they will kill him instead.”

“He doesn’t seem to care for the Crows,” Morrigan added. “Might as well put him to good use killing darkspawn.”

“Easy for you to say, he isn’t after you,” Alistair said. 

“Fine, do what you like,” Morrigan said with disdain. She shook her head and retreated to her corner of camp. 

“It’s true, I can’t say I feel particularly loyal to an organization that will try to kill me. I’d prefer to stay alive,” Zevran said. 

“Morrigan has a point,” Leah said, absorbing the conversation. “Maybe he can be useful.”

“Oh, I can be quite useful in any way you like,” he said, flashing a suggestive grin.

Leah rolled her eyes. “Scratch that, I changed my mind. Leave him for the wolves.”

“Alright, cut it out,” Elissa said. “We need to get to Haven, but let’s wait until the morning at least.”

“Fine. I’ll make some dinner or something,” Alistair said. 

Leah, Elissa and Leliana exchanged hesitant looks. 

“What? My stew isn’t that bad!”

“Can you at least cook?” Leah asked Zevran. 

The elf shrugged in response.

* * *

Late that night while Leah was asleep, she found herself back in Castle Cousland the night of Howe’s betrayal.

In the dream, when she and Arthur reached the fight that killed him, she had a moment of clarity. “I remember this,” she mumbled. 

She sprang into action and shielded him from a rain of arrows, far more than could possibly come from three archers. 

The arrows stopped and Leah stood, ready to fight. But when she lowered her shield it was her mother who stood before her. 

“Mom, what are you—”

“How could you, Leah? Don’t you want to come home?” her mother pleaded. 

“Yes, of course I do!” Leah said. 

“Then why are you helping these people? They aren’t your family!”

“Mom, he’s my friend. I don’t want him to die,” she explained.

“But I did die,” Arthur said.

Leah whipped around to find him lying on the ground, riddled with arrows. “No no no…” she said. 

He bled out over the ground. “You couldn’t protect me. You can’t protect any of them.”

Leah ran from the grisly sight and almost collided with one of Howe’s men. She instinctively raised her shield to block his first blow, then countered his next two with her sword before running him through.

“My god,” a voice said behind her.

Leah whirled around. 

It was her dad. He stared in horror at the dead man at her feet. “Is that a sword? Did you just kill that man?” The disgust on his face broke her heart.

“I had to, Dad. They attacked us. They attacked my friends,” Leah tried to explain. 

“I don’t know who you are anymore,” her dad said, shaking his head. 

“Leah?” another voice called out from a new direction.

She turned in almost a full circle before spotting a new passage that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Marcus stood before her. 

“Who are these people?” he asked.

“We’re her family.” Leah’s older sister Gwen stepped out from behind Marcus, her hands clasped behind her back as she appraised him. 

“What?” Marcus looked from Gwen to Leah. “Your family?”

Gwen glanced over at Leah. “You were more than friends with this one though, weren’t you? You were fucking. What was he, your boyfriend or something? Were you going to choose him over us?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Leah said.

“And you already want to fuck that elf, don’t you?” Gwen spat. 

Marcus gave her a confused look, then his whole body jerked and he cried out in pain. A deep red wound grew in his chest. He looked down and tried to put a hand over it. He staggered back until he hit the wall, then slid to the ground. 

“I thought you cared about me,” Marcus said to Leah. As he talked, blood poured out of his mouth and around the fingers clutching his wound. 

Leah wanted to look away but couldn’t. “I did care about you, I swear.”

“But you lied to me. You lied to all of us,” Marcus said, the dripping blood forming pools on the ground.

“I can explain—”

“You can’t,” Marcus’ voice slowed. “Not anymore. I’m already dead. You let me die.” His eyes were glassy as his head fell back against the wall.

“No no no…” Leah shook her head and backed away. She bumped into someone else and jumped.

“I can’t believe I used to look up to you.” It was her younger sister, Shannon.

Her brother Trevor was next to Shannon. “We both did. But you’re a liar.”

As Leah backed up her entire family surrounded her in a circle.

“A murderer and a liar,” her father said. 

“No!” she protested. 

“You stopped looking for a way home as soon as you left this place,” her mother said. “You gave up on us.”

“I didn’t, I promise!”

“Now that we know what you are, maybe we don’t want you back,” Shannon said.

“A slut,” Gwen said.

“A killer,” her father added. 

“A liar,” Trevor finished. 

“You’re not my daughter anymore,” her mother said. 

Leah fell to her knees and her family closed their circle tight around her. She put her hands over her ears and sobbed. “Please stop!”

Her eyes snapped open when she heard a whoosh. A green glow lit up the ground. She was too afraid to look up. She heard a voice speak in another language, and the next second she jerked awake, curled up on her side in her tent. 

Leah’s hands clutched her blankets tight. “Tent. Camp. Haven. Elissa,” her voice shook. She waited for her heart to slow down. When the panic subsided, she rolled onto her back, covered her eyes with her hands and started to silently cry.

* * *

The next day Elissa left for Haven again with Alistair, Leliana, and Wynne, and Leah continued with her usual work around the camp while they were away. Since they hadn’t returned early again, she assumed they must have been more successful.

She was left at camp with Sten, Morrigan, and Zevran. Sten and Morrigan kept to themselves, but Zevran was not content to spend the long hours alone. So more often than not, Leah found herself with company. He had not eased up on his flirtations with any of the young women in the camp, but after being flat-out declined by the others he had focused on her even more. 

“So you are also one of Elissa’s companions?” he said one day as they were collecting elfroot and deathroot in the nearby forest. “How do you fit into all of this? Are you also a Grey Warden?”

“No, and I wouldn’t say I’m a companion,” Leah said, focused on her search for herbs. “I worked for Elissa and her family in Highever, as part of their forces. After that I was in Redcliffe’s militia, and met up with Elissa and Alistair again while they were looking for Arl Eamon. I joined them after that. I’m just a soldier.”

“You must be more than that, to have been invited to join them,” Zevran said as he picked some deathroot.

Leah eyed the deathroot warily, recalling her almost fatal experience with it when she first arrived. 

“Not really,” she responded. “We were… friends, somewhat. She saved my life. The Couslands did me a great favor by allowing me to work for them, and Elissa has done the same by asking me to tag along. I like having purpose, and I like being with friends. Simple as that.”

“You seem to be a capable warrior, at the very least,” he commented. 

“Elissa taught me everything I know,” Leah said. “I spent most of my time at Highever training and working just to become capable. I do what I can.”

“Being stuck here must be frustrating for you, then.”

“Not at all. Like I said, I do what I can. If that means protecting the camp and keeping everything in order, then that’s what I’ll do. I fight when needed, and when there’s no fighting to be done I do things like this,” she picked another plant nearby, held it up to emphasize her point and placed in her pack with the others.

“Then since we are both here without much to do, perhaps we can spar some time?” Zevran suggested.

Leah paused herb-collecting to turn to him. “I’ll have you know I have plenty to do. Are you bored sitting here at camp? You know you could leave and be on your merry assassin way. I’m sure Alistair would be glad to see you go.”

Zevran grinned. “He’s just jealous that I flirted with Elissa. And I could never be bored in the company of a ravishing woman such as yourself.”

Leah shook her head. “Alright, you asked about me, now it’s your turn. Where are you from, exactly?”

“From Antiva, naturally. I was sure my accent gave it away.”

“Not to me. I’ve never met anyone from Antiva. What’s it like?” Leah asked. 

“You don’t say? Well, the only way to truly appreciate Antiva would be to go there. It is a warm place, not cold and harsh like this Ferelden. In Antiva it rains often, but the flowers are always in bloom… or so the saying goes.” Zevran shrugged and leaned down to pick more deathroot. 

“And it apparently has assassins,” Leah said. 

Zevran chuckled. “Every land has its assassins. Some are simply more open about their business than others.”

“Hmm. So aside from the weather, what do think about Ferelden so far?”

“It is fine enough with its dogs and its mud. The people are spirited even if they can’t tell the difference between an assassin and a mere killer. But I hail from the glorious Antiva City, home to the royal palace. It is a glittering gem amidst the sand. Do you come from someplace comparable?” Zevran asked.

Leah grimaced. “I don’t remember anything before Highever. I don’t know where I come from.”

“Ah, well that’s a shame.” 

Zevran did not comment further about her memory loss, which was a refreshing change from most of the people she met.

“You know what is most odd?” he finally said. “We speak of my homeland, and for all its wine and its dark-haired beauties and the lillo flutes of the minstrels… I miss the leather the most.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Look, if that’s some kind of euphemism…”

Zevran laughed. “It may as well be! But not this once, no. I mean the smell. For years I lived in a tiny apartment near Antiva City’s leather-making district, in a building where the Crows stored their youngest recruits. Packed in like crates.”

“The smell of cesspool reminds you of home?” Leah asked. 

“I grew accustomed to the stench, even though the humans complained of it constantly. To this day the smell of fresh leather is what reminds me most of home more than anything else. It reminds me of all the idle pleasures I got up to in that little apartment…” Zevran trailed off.

Leah smirked. “Zevran, you know there’s leather everywhere.”

He waved her off. “But it’s not Antivan leather. I do not know what the Antivan tanners do that is different, but there is no leather more supple nor more fragrant.”

“Yep, definitely a euphemism,” Leah quipped. “It sounds like you’ve been away from home forever.” 

“Oh, not so long,” Zevran sighed. “It is my first time away from Antiva, however, and the thought of never returning makes me think of it constantly. Before I left, I was tempted to spend what little coin I possessed on leather boots I spotted in a store window. Finest Antivan leather, perfect craftsmanship… Ah, but I was a fool to leave them. I thought, ‘Zevran, you can buy them when you return as a reward for a job well done!’ More the fool I, no?”

“The ‘job’ being Elissa, right?” Leah said.

“Yes. But I failed. So now, here I am.”

“No Antivan boots for you.”

“Indeed. No Antivan boots for me.”

Leah abandoned her teasing tone. She understood all too well the nostalgia for home and how it intensified when one couldn’t be there. “Your home is still there, Zevran,” she said gently. _And easier to get to than others_ , she thought to herself. 

He nodded. “True, and it’s a comforting thought. One simply never knows what is to come next. How could I have suspected that my attempt on the life of a Grey Warden would lead me to such an alluring woman?” He raised an eyebrow and looked her up and down with appreciation. “I could not.”

Leah rolled her eyes, but smiled. “There you go again.”

“If you want me to stop, I can do so,” he said, waiting for her response. “You’re the only one who has not told me my flirtations are unwanted.”

Leah paused again after pulling some more elfroot and looked at him, a smile still on her face. She was wary after losing Marcus, and her recent nightmare lingered in the back of her mind. But she couldn’t deny the temptation that Zevran presented. He was attractive and confident, and she didn’t mind the attention. “I didn’t say you had to stop.”

“Then what is the harm?” he shrugged. “You’re a beautiful woman, I’m simply letting you know.”

“There’s no harm, but it comes off like you’re trying too hard. You think you’re better than you are,” Leah told him. 

“Oh really? I think I could find some men and women who would argue that point with you.”

“Then they’re fools,” Leah said.

“How so?”

She sighed and turned to him. “You toy with me as if you’re the cat and I’m the mouse. You tease with shallow compliments, hoping I’ll fall for one and get caught. If you want to do better, don’t treat the people you flirt with like they’re your prey.”

“Oh? This should be good. Tell me, how should I treat them?”

Leah thought for a moment before responding. “If you believe someone is worth pursuing, then you treat them like you’re both predators, circling each other. Anything less and someone with enough intelligence will know you don’t respect them,” she continued her search.

“So I should treat you as an equal, then?”

Leah chuckled. “No, you should treat _me_ like I’m a much more cunning and worthy predator than you are,” she smirked at him. “Come on, let’s head back to camp.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After healing Arl Eamon, the party moves on to Orzammar to obtain aid from the dwarves. Back at camp, Leah and Zevran try sparring and one thing leads to another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week things get steamy again, this time with our favorite Antivan. Then it gets a little dark when Elissa gets back from Orzammar and they reveal what they learned about how darkspawn breed. 
> 
> I made this a little longer than it was originally, because next weekend I'll be at C2E2 and I don't know if I'll have anything ready by Sunday night. Apologies in advance if I have to take some extra time to get Chapter 11 ready. 
> 
> As always, thank you for visiting, reading, commenting, kudos-ing! <3

When Elissa and her party were finished in Haven, they once again pulled up camp and headed back towards Redcliffe. Leah was skeptical that the ashes actually had some kind of magical healing powers, but Elissa assured her that the experience of obtaining them left little room for doubt. Something about an ancient knight, ghosts who spoke riddles, and walking through fire in nothing but her underclothes. Leah decided to take her word for it.

They made haste in their journey back to Redcliffe. When they arrived, Teagan greeted them in the main hall.

“You return,” he said. “Might you have news?”

“Good news, in fact. We found the urn,” Elissa said.

“You have?” Teagan’s brightened with hope. “Wonderful! Let us go at once to Eamon’s side and see if the Urn’s healing powers live up to their reputation.” 

“I have a strong feeling they will, if the quest to find them was any indication,” Elissa said. 

Teagan led them to the Arl’s room. As everyone stood around the bed, a mage unleashed the healing magic of the ashes. There was a strange noise, then an aura over Eamon’s body. A moment later he awoke.

“Wh-where am I?” The arl looked up at Teagan, who was nearest to him.

“Be calm, Brother. You have been deathly ill for a very long time. Do you remember nothing?”

“Teagan?” the arl said. “What are you doing here? Where is Isolde?”

Isolde kneeled at his bedside and took his left hand in both of hers. “I am here, my husband.”

“And Connor? Where is my boy? Where is our son?”

“He lives,” Isolde said. “But many others are dead. There is much to tell you, husband.” She frowned, but held fast to his hand. 

“Dead?” Arl Eamon furrowed his brow and looked off to the side. “Then… it was not a dream?” He returned his gaze to his wife.

“Much has happened since you fell ill, Brother,” Teagan said. “Some of it will not be easy for you to hear.”

The arl nodded. “Then tell me. I wish to hear all of it.”

“If you could give us a little time,” Teagan said to Elissa and the rest of their party. “I believe we should have this discussion in private.”

“Of course,” Elissa said. “We will be downstairs. Take your time.”

After Isolde and Teagan informed Arl Eamon of what had happened, the three of them came down to the main hall.

The arl entered he hall deep in thought. He approached the large fire at one end of the room. “What Teagan and Isolde have told me is most troubling.” He turned back to their party. “There is much to be done, but I should first be thankful to those who have done so much already. Grey Warden, you have not only saved my life but kept my family safe as well. I am in your debt. Will you permit me to offer you a reward for your service?”

“There’s no need,” Elissa said. “I’m grateful we were able to help. It was our quest to seek aid against the Blight that brought us to Redcliffe in the first place.” 

“I understand, but regardless of your motivations I feel you are worthy of a reward. I would like to honor your efforts, nothing more.”

“As you wish, my lord,” Elissa said.

“Then allow me to declare you and those traveling with you champions of Redcliffe. You will always be a welcome guest within these halls,” the arl said.

Leah felt an eager stab of pride in her chest. _Champions of Redcliffe_ , she thought to herself in awe. Then she looked around at Elissa’s companions. _He can’t mean you. He’s a noble, he probably doesn’t even see you_. She walked back her initial excitement.

The arl continued. “And for you, Warden, a shield of the same make as those that have been given to our finest knights.”

“Thank you, your grace.” Elissa bowed. 

“We should speak of Loghain, Brother,” Teagan interjected. “There is no telling what he will do once he learns of your recovery.”

“Loghain instigates a civil war even though the darkspawn are on our very doorstep.” Arl Eamon shook his head. “Long have I known him. He is a sensible man; one who never desired power.”

Leah snorted, then immediately covered her mouth with her hand. For a split second the room’s attention turned to her. She cleared her throat and stayed silent. 

Luckily, Teagan continued. “I was there when he announced he was taking control of the throne, Eamon. He is mad with ambition, I tell you.”

“Mad indeed.” The arl’s brow furrowed. “Mad enough to kill Cailan, to attempt to kill myself and destroy my lands.”

“If I may, your grace,” Elissa spoke up. “He also hired an assassin to attempt to kill Alistair and I. And we have learned that Arl Howe, who invaded Highever and slaughtered my family, has declared Loghain his ally.”

“Maker preserve us,” Arl Eamon said. “Whatever happened to him, Loghain must be stopped. What’s more, we can scarce afford to fight this war to its bitter end.”

“Can you unite the nobility against him?” Elissa asked.

The arl let out a breath. “I could unite those opposing Loghain, yes. But not all oppose him. He has some very powerful allies— and terribly fiendish ones, as you have pointed out. We have no time to wage a campaign against him. Someone must surrender if Ferelden is to have any chance at fighting the darkspawn.”

“But surely, once everyone has learned what he has done…” Elissa said, incredulous.

The arl held up a hand to stop her. “I will spread word of Loghain’s treachery, both here and against the king. But it will be a claim made without proof. Those claims will give some of Loghain’s allies pause, but we must combine it with a challenge Loghain cannot ignore. We need someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Loghain’s daughter, the queen.”

“Are you referring to Alistair, Brother? Are you certain?” Teagan said.

“I would not propose such a thing if we had an alternative. But the unthinkable has occurred.”

“You intend to put Alistair forward as king?” Elissa said.

“Teagan and I have a claim through marriage, but we would seem opportunists, no better than Loghain,” Arl Eamon explained. “Alistair’s claim is by blood.”

“And what about me?” Alistair finally spoke up. “Does anyone care what I want?”

The arl gave him a withering look. “You have a responsibility, Alistair. Without you, Loghain wins. I would have to support him, for the sake of Ferelden. Is that what you want?”

Alistair stammered. “I… but I… no my lord.”

The arl nodded. “I see only one way to proceed. I will call for a Landsmeet, a gathering of all of Ferelden’s nobility in the city of Denerim. There, Ferelden can decide who shall rule, one way or another. Then the business of fighting our true foe can begin.” He looked to Elissa. “What say you to that, my friend? I do not wish to proceed without your blessing.”

Elissa mulled it over. “Alright. I say we proceed with your plan.”

Alistair gave her a pleading look, and she responded with a sad smile. 

“Very well, I will send out the word,” Arl Eamon said. “But before we proceed, I believe there is the matter of the mage… my son’s tutor. He still lives, I understand.”

“He does,” Teagan said. “He is in the dungeon, Brother.”

The arl nodded. “Have him brought here, Teagan. I wish to see him.”

Teagan once again brought Jowan up from the dungeon. 

“Jowan,” the arl said. “What you have done is not in question. You tried to assassinate me and set into motion a series of events that nearly destroyed everything that I cherish. What have you to say in your own defense?”

Jowan frowned and looked down. “Nothing my lord… other than to say I am sorry. I expect no mercy for what I have done.”

“I see. Grey Warden, have you anything to say on Jowan’s behalf?” Arl Eamon turned to Elissa.

She looked Jowan over. “I can say that he at least seems earnest in his desire to repent.”

“Oh? That is… unexpected.” The arl considered Elissa’s opinion. “What would you have me do? As the injured party, my ability to see the merciful path is… strained.”

She sighed. “You could let him go. Then the Circle may hunt him, if they wish.”

Leah was surprised at Elissa’s answer. The way everyone talked about blood mages, that was the last thing she expected her friend to suggest. It was still a fearful idea that he would be hunted by the Circle that they had just saved, but it left room for the possibility that he might go free and live his life in peace, despite his mistakes. It made her wonder if she actually could trust Elissa with her own secrets. 

“That I cannot do,” the arl said. “He is a maleficar and I cannot unleash him on a land already wracked by war and chaos.” He turned to Jowan. “I am sorry. Jowan, I hereby turn you over to the tower of the Circle of Magi. May the Maker have mercy on your soul.”

Jowan bowed his head. “Thank you, my lord.”

A soldier led Jowan away.

“Now, back to the matter of the Landsmeet,” Arl Eamon said. “It will take some time to recall my forces and organize our allies. I would prefer to wait until that is done before calling the Landsmeet. In the meantime, I suggest you pursue the remainder of the Grey Warden treaties. We will need all the allies we can get if we are to defeat the darkspawn horde.”

“I agree,” Elissa said. “May the Maker watch over you, my lord.”

“And you, my friend. Good luck.”

* * *

With Arl Eamon healed, Elissa and Alistair were free to visit either the dwarves or the elves to seek further help against the Blight. Orzammar was closer, so they decided to see the dwarves first.

When they arrived, Leah was glad to see a small market set up just outside the gates. It would give them a chance to acquire items that were more difficult to find on the road, especially lyrium and certain types of armor and weapons. She traded with the surface merchants, and improved their inventory as Elissa, Alistair, Wynne and Leliana entered Orzammar and began their quest.

A couple of days later Elissa and her party returned. They were not finished with their mission, as things had become more complicated than anticipated. The throne was up for grabs, and Elissa had chosen to align herself with Lord Harrowmont. The group would have to venture into the Deep Roads to obtain his favor, but they stopped at camp to refuel and heal in the meantime. 

“How are things going with Zevran?” Elissa asked Leah when they had some time alone. 

“They’re fine. He’s being helpful, at least,” she said as she cleaned some equipment. “I think you were right to trust him. And he did help fend off some bandits while you were gone.”

“You were attacked?” Elissa asked, alarmed. “Is everyone alright?”

“It was fine,” Leah reassured her. “You know we have Sten and Morrigan. They might be prickly, but they’re great in a fight. We all did our part. It was just three or four of them, no problem at all. They had some good runes on them too, Bodahn had Sandal enchant a few pieces of our equipment with them.”

Elissa nodded. “Good. I’m glad. I’m sorry to have dumped Zevran on you, but I’m not sure I should take him with us just yet. I know Alistair isn’t happy with it.”

“He’ll get over it. He’s just jealous.” Leah smiled. “I know you only have eyes for him.”

Elissa grinned back. “He knows it too. He just doesn’t like the risk. I understand that.”

“You have nothing to worry about. We’re fine, and we’ll still be fine while you’re off battling darkspawn and Maker knows what else in the Deep Roads.”

“Thank you,” Elissa said. “Really, for everything. I don’t feel like I’ve told you how valuable you’ve been since you joined us.”

Leah stopped wiping down the sword in her hand long enough to put her hand on Elissa’s shoulder. “It’s the least I could do. I owe you my life, Elissa. And now I have a greater purpose. I should be thanking you.”

Elissa grasped Leah in an unexpected hug. 

“Oh,” Leah said, hugging back with her left arm, the right stuck between them still holding the sword. “What’s this for?”

“I’m just glad to have such a loyal friend with me,” Elissa pulled back. “Not that I don’t appreciate everyone here, but… after what happened at Highever, I thought I had lost everyone, my whole family. I’m glad to have you here. It’s like I still have a connection to my parents, to Fergus.”

At the mention of lost family Leah felt tears start in her throat, but swallowed them. “You’ll find Fergus someday soon. But I am glad you feel that way. I’m happy to have you, too.”

Elissa smiled and gave Leah one more lingering glance and walked away.

Leah took a slow breath after she left. She looked down at the blade in her hand, then around at the camp. It was so easy to get lost in day to day life and push away thoughts of her own world. Her own family. 

The shock of Elissa’s confession took Leah back to her first few days in Thedas. She saw the camp, the mages, the elf, the darkspawn blood on the rag in her hand with the alarm and anxiety of a nightmare. She gripped the hilt of the sword tightly to ground herself and forced a few deep breaths. _I can’t panic, not now. Not here_. After a few minutes her heart rate slowed. She still felt some dread deep inside, but was able to repress it for the time being. There would be time for tears later, deep in the night when no one else would hear it.

* * *

While the party was away again in Orzammar, Leah took Zevran up on his offer for sparring. It served as a decent distraction, and she had to admit that it was nice to have something physical and practical to do in between chores. Increasing her prowess at a sword was always useful, and it had been a while since she joined Elissa and her party on a quest.

It turned out to be a welcome challenge. Zevran was highly skilled as a rogue, and she found it difficult to keep up at times. This was an opportunity she wouldn’t have had in Highever’s forces, or even Redcliffe’s militia.

“Have you always fought with a sword and shield?” he asked her one day, as they fought. “You should try daggers sometime. It might give you a new perspective on your rogue opponents.”

“Elissa had me try everything when I was first learning,” Leah explained, breathing heavy. “This is what I was best at. Well, most comfortable at. I’m okay with a bow too, but not in combat. Unless I’m fighting air. I can hit a lot of that.”

“Not to say anything bad about the Warden, but I could teach you far better than she could. What do you say?”

Leah straightened up and paused, taking a breath. “Okay. But I warn you, I’m not quick enough for it.”

“I’ll be gentle,” he said, teasing. 

She laughed. “Oh please.” She exchanged her sword for two of the best daggers in their inventory and twirled them in her hands. “Let’s start the lesson then.”

“You won’t have the benefit of a shield, so you’ll have to be strategic in planning your strikes. Here and here are good for kills.” He gestured towards his neck and thigh. “You can also try for their side to slow them down.”

“Whatever you say,” Leah said. They readied themselves and began circling as the sun set. Leah made the first move, but was blocked. She tried to move as fast as possible to find an opening, but her movements felt sluggish, and Zevran fended her off with ease. At one point she tried to spin around to take him off guard, but he caught her mid-spin and held her from behind. 

“You’re right, you’re not very fast. But your form is good.” He held her with one hand on her waist. 

“Now you’re doing better,” she said, breathing deeply.

“Better at what?”

“At flirting.” She smiled to herself. 

He gripped her waist tighter and spoke closer to her ear. “I didn’t mean it in a flirtatious way.”

“That’s too bad, you should have.” She ducked and spun again, trying for a hit. He was caught off guard for a moment, but she still didn’t have him. 

“Hang on,” she said, trying to catch her breath. Her armor was too heavy, and she knew it was slowing her down. She started to remove her chainmail.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? You need some kind of protection, I could hurt you. These aren’t pretend,” he said, holding out his daggers.

“Don’t worry, I trust you,” Leah said. She continued to remove the rest of her armor, leaving herself only in her leather leggings and loose undershirt. 

Zevran didn’t look convinced. 

“Much better.” Leah took a defensive stance, leaning forward. She saw Zevran raise his eyebrows and realized that the gaping neck of her shirt would give an unobstructed view of the top of her breasts. “What’s the matter, are you too distracted now?”

He grinned and spun his daggers. “Not at all, my dear. Enticed and encouraged, but not distracted.”

“Good. Let’s go!” 

The two went at each other again. Leah moved more freely this time, striking Zevran’s armor a couple of times in between his blocks.

When he realized the advantage she had without her armor he worked harder to meet her thrusts. As she started to tire, he knocked the dagger from her left hand and swept her legs out from under her. When she fell to the ground he sat on her hips, pinning her still armed right hand down close to her body. 

“I’m afraid I’ve got you yet again.” He grinned at her. “That was much better, however.”

Leah laughed. “You think so?” She shifted her feet so they were closer to her hips, which caused them to press up against Zevran.

“Absolutely.” He mistook her movement for an invitation and leaned in towards her. “And now, I think—”

Zevran was interrupted when Leah thrust her hips up as hard as she could, sending him tumbling over her head and onto his back. 

She rolled to her left and swung her right leg over Zevran before he could recover. She held her dagger at his throat. 

“Now I’m afraid I’ve got you,” she said.

“That you have,” he said, his voice betraying his surprise. “That was unexpected.”

“I have a trick or two up my sleeve.” Leah shrugged and took deep breaths to to steady herself. “You were distracted.”

“I am now,” he purred, dropping his daggers and grasping her by the hips. He pulled her into him and they both gasped. “Perhaps we should take this somewhere more private.”

Leah took a couple more deep breaths. “Yeah. I think so. Come on.” She stood and helped him up, then guided him into her tent. Part of her railed against the decision, but her body was demanding a release after Zevran’s constant flirtations combined with the sparring session. 

As soon as they entered the tent Zevran pulled Leah to him in a deep kiss. His hands drifted under her shirt, touching her bare back. She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Zevran broke off their kiss. “Are you sure about this?”

“Very sure.” She pulled his mouth back to hers, nibbling and sucking his lower lip. When he resumed the kiss, she slid her tongue in to meet his. 

Zevran’s hands tightened on her body and he gave a light moan. 

Leah began undoing the straps on his armor, and they continued to disrobe without further words. She was still in her underclothes when Zevran eased her to the ground and began kissing her stomach. 

“So do you want this fast or slow?” he asked. He moved his kisses to her lower thigh.

“How about one, then the other?” she replied in between heavy breaths.

He chuckled against her skin, and the vibrations echoed throughout her body. “I like the way you think.”

“I don’t believe the way I think is what motivates you right now,” she said.

“On the contrary,” he said, moving back up her body until he was directly over her. “It is one of the many charms you have that are making this quite enjoyable.” 

Leah laughed. “I don’t know if you noticed, but you’ve gotten me into bed already. I think you can stop working so hard to seduce me.”

“Stop? You have it quite wrong my dear, I am just getting started…”

* * *

As they waited for Elissa and the others to complete their mission, Leah and Zevran continued to explore their new sexual intimacy. It was never discussed, but Zevran always returned to his tent afterwards. Leah was content with the arrangement, not wanting anything more than the release he provided on a consistent basis.

It also kept him from witnessing her nightmares. So far Zevran had accepted any brief, vague answer she gave about her past without further question. She wasn’t sure if he was respecting her privacy, or if he could tell she was lying about her memory loss. Either way it didn’t seem to be an issue. But as long as it was avoidable, she wanted to keep her nightmares private. She couldn’t predict when they would come, and she didn’t want to compound the lies she told by having to cover for her sleeping mind as well.

* * *

One morning the missing party returned from Orzammar, having obtained Harrowmont’s favor and a new companion named Oghren.

As the group wandered back into camp, Leah emerged from her tent. One look at Elissa and she could tell something was up. Something bigger than usual. Her eyes looked red and tired. The tense lines in her face were subtle, but still betrayed a trace of some leftover horror. The entire group moved in the same sluggish manner, as if they were weighed down.

“Are you alright?” Leah asked her. “How did everything go?”

“Fine.” Elissa’s response was lackluster. “Harrowmont is on the throne, Bhelen is dead. We did what he asked. It’s done.” She moved past Leah to drop her equipment in front of her tent.

“Something went wrong, didn’t it? What happened to you?” Leah turned Elissa to face her again, and searched her eyes. 

“I can’t even begin to explain,” Elissa said, shaking her head. “It was horrifying. The darkspawn, what they did to those people…” She stopped talking and swallowed hard, as if she was going to be sick. “I can’t do this. You shouldn’t have to know this.” She pushed herself away from Leah again and walked off into the trees nearby to be alone. 

Alistair saw the interaction and approached Leah. “She’s pretty upset,” he said, his voice quiet. “We all are. It was gruesome. We did find Branka, but first we found what was left of her house.”

“What was _left_?” Leah said.

“A woman, Hespith. She was corrupted, but still… herself. Sort of. She told us that Branka had given her party to the darkspawn. They use the women to… breed.”

“Maker…” Leah’s own stomach began to turn. “You mean they…?”

Alistair nodded meekly. “Then they force them to eat darkspawn flesh. And eventually, they…” he gulped. “They eat their own people.”

Leah groaned, shutting her eyes to will the images Alistair was evoking out of her mind. 

“They become broodmothers. These huge things, they hardly look like people anymore. They birth the darkspawn. We had to slay one to get to Branka.”

“She did this to her own people?” Leah finally spoke. “And you went down there to what, rescue her?”

“That was the original plan. Clearly that changed after… well, after. Branka’s dead.”

“Good,” Leah said, her voice low and grim. “That’s the least she deserved.”

“Elissa isn’t… I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same after this.” Alistair gazed off into the forest where Elissa had walked off.

“Who could be?” Leah shocked tone and look of reproach had its desired effect on Alistair. He remained silent.

As she strode off into the forest, Zevran was just approaching. “Do you need some company?” he called after her. 

“No!” she shouted without turning around.

“She’s going after Elissa,” Alistair said.

It was then Zevran noticed the haunted and abashed look on the former Templar’s face. “Maker, what happened?”

Alistair shook his head. “Get everyone together at the camp. I’m only telling this one more time and we’re never speaking of it again.” He marched back towards camp. 

Zevran looked once more in Leah and Elissa’s direction before joining him. 

Leah followed Elissa’s path into the forest to find her. She wasn’t far, just standing in the middle of a small clearing, hugging herself. Leah walked up and put her arms around her.

“I just can’t, Leah,” Elissa croaked.

“It’s okay. Alistair told me. You don’t have to say anything. I am so sorry,” Leah said. The two women just stood there in the forest for a while, wordless. 

Leah would never truly know what Elissa had experienced first hand, but even hearing about it from Alistair told her everything she needed to know in order to understand the horrors the party had witnessed. She wished that her friend could have been saved from seeing and knowing these things. She wished she had been there with her. Since that wasn’t possible, Leah did the only thing she could and stayed with Elissa until her memories could slip back from her conscious mind long enough to return to camp.

* * *

By the time darkness fell that night, most of the camp had regained at least some of their appetite. Leah wasn’t one of them, and neither was Elissa, but the latter was well enough to accept solace from Alistair again. Leah knew there was something going on between the two of them from the moment they found her in Redcliffe. They had become even closer over the past few weeks. She could tell how much they loved each other.

She was glad for Elissa, but witnessing their romance bloom stirred up Leah’s conflicted feelings about her life in Thedas. There was no indication she would ever be able to go home again, nothing she had found in all of her research to hint at a way. She was afraid she might never go home, and felt guilty for harboring hope. She and Elissa had formed a close friendship. She didn’t want to leave her friend, but her stomach tied itself in knots when she thought about being trapped in Thedas for the rest of her life. The more relationships she acquired the more it felt like giving up. The more people she would hurt if she ever did leave. The more people she would disrespect with her lies. 

Leah sat in front of the campfire with her knees drawn up under her chin, lost in her swirling thoughts. For a moment she wondered if this was any better than the cold knowledge of the broodmothers chilling her insides. Either way she still felt sick. 

She didn’t even notice when Zevran sat down next to her until he placed a hand on her arm. 

Startled, she jumped and blinked a couple times before returning to herself. “Hey.”

“I apologize. If I’m right and you’re still thinking about the Deep Roads, I’d prefer you think about anything but that,” Zevran said.

“Some part of me will always be thinking about the Deep Roads, for the rest of my life. And I wasn’t even there.” Leah returned her eyes to the fire. “Poor Elissa.”

“Have you eaten anything?” he asked.

“No. I’m not hungry.” Leah tightened her arms around her knees again.

“Then maybe you should rest. I could… come with you, if you like.”

Leah sighed and rubbed her temples. “No offense Zevran, but I’ve got a lot on my mind right now and that’s at the bottom of the list. Especially after—”

He shook his head, stopping her. “No no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought… maybe you didn’t want to be alone.”

Leah paused. “I’m always alone. It’s fine, I’m good at it.” She stood up and began walking towards her tent. “Maybe I will try to sleep.”

He followed her with his eyes. “Sweet dreams,” he murmured.

* * *

The group shook off the overbearing cloud the Deep Roads had cast after a couple of days. Not that anyone had forgotten— or would ever forget— but they had to get back to their mission, and they needed their sanity to do so. Leah marvelled at how helpful repression was in certain circumstances.

Their next stop was the Dalish camp in the Brecilian forest. It would take almost a month to get there, so Leah made sure they were well-supplied before they began.

A few days into their journey, Leah pulled Elissa aside at camp. 

“It’s been a while since I had an adventure. What do you think about me joining you when you visit the Dalish?” Leah asked.

Elissa gave her a wide smile. “I think that would be great! I was worried the Circle had scared you off for good,” she chuckled. “I’d love to have you with us.”

“Good,” Leah smiled back. “It’ll be interesting to learn some more about the elves. Plus I’m curious to see what insane task they’ll give you in order to earn their help.”

“Make preserve us,” Elissa took a deep breath. “You’d think they had all plotted ahead of time to make us do increasingly horrifying quests to see when we’d break. As long as this one is above ground… hold on, that’s not why you suddenly want to come along, is it? Because of Orzammar?”

Leah frowned and shrugged. “It’s not _not_ a reason. I am genuinely curious about the Dalish. And despite sparring with Zevran, I am feeling a little rusty with the live combat. But sure, if I can be there for you in other ways, I want to do that too.”

Elissa sighed and put her hand on Leah’s shoulder. “I am okay, I promise. As a Grey Warden living through a Blight, I’ll be faced with any number of horrors on a regular basis. I can take it. I have to, so others don’t. That includes you, Leah.”

“I’m not saying you can’t,” Leah said. “And I respect that this is your job. But you’re also not the boss of me anymore, so I’m coming whether you like it or not.”

“Okay,” Elissa held her hands up gave her a small smile. “I won’t stop you. I could, but I won’t,” she winked.

“I’d like to see you try,” Leah countered. 

“Technically, Zevran’s daggers belong to me for the time being. I’m sure I could convince him to go extra hard on you to the point you’d be unable to move for a couple days,” Elissa said.

Leah reddened as she considered the unintentional double entendre. “Yes, well. I can only imagine what he would say to that.”

Elissa snorted. “Oh I know exactly what he would say. ‘I can go as hard as she likes,’” she gave her best attempt at imitating Zevran’s accent. 

Leah couldn’t help laughing. “I would pay good money for you to do that accent in front of him. It’s so awful.” 

Elissa gave her a playful shove. “You deserve a medal for putting up with his comments and euphemisms and whatnot.”

“Eh, I give as good as I get. That’s all surface shit anyway,” Leah said. “If you just talk to him like a person and ignore the flattery, he starts acting normal. Eventually. For a little while, at least.” 

“If you say so.” Elissa shook her head and returned to the rest of the camp.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah accompanies Elissa when they visit the Brecilian Forest to speak with the Dalish. Things get even more interesting when Zevran joins the party as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for getting this chapter out a day late. This weekend I was at C2E2, and it always seems to eat up all of my energy as well as my time. But as it turns out, this is probably my longest chapter yet so I hope that makes up for the extra day. There's a lot of talking, a lot of banter, and more steamy bits towards the end. I love writing Zevran, if you couldn't tell.
> 
> Also, 500 hits has come and gone this week! Wow. You all keep surpassing my expectations. 
> 
> Have a fantastic week, and I'll see you back here soon!

Once they finally arrived at the outskirts of the Brecilian forest, they set up camp once more. First thing in the morning, Leah met with Elissa and Alistair at the edge of camp, ready to embark on their latest quest. Wynne was already with them. 

“Is this everyone or are we waiting for someone else?” Leah asked. 

“Just one more,” Elissa nodded behind Leah.

Zevran was gathering his things outside his tent.

Leah turned back, eyebrows raised. “Really?” She turned to Alistair. “And you’re okay with this?”

Alistair frowned. “I’m not crazy about it, but Elissa insisted.”

Elissa lowered her voice. “He wanted to come. Besides, with Leah joining us I think this is the best time to bring him along. She’s the one person he’s spent the most time around. They can keep each other company. And, if need be, she can… you know, watch over him. Keep him occupied.”

Leah guffawed. “‘Watch over him?’ ‘Keep him occupied?!’ What am I, his nanny or something? Give me a break.”

Elissa shushed her. “He’s walking over.”

She lowered her voice. “Then as the one person who has actually gotten to know him, you’re fooling yourself if you think my presence will keep him from messing with the rest of you,” Leah chuckled. “And I am going to enjoy every minute of it!”

“Are we ready to go?” Zevran said as he approached the group. 

“So ready,” Leah said. “I can’t wait.” She gave a pointed look to Elissa and Alistair, who exchanged a nervous glance. 

“Let’s get started, then,” Elissa said. She and Alistair led them into the forest along a worn path. Leah and Zevran took up the rear.

“So you’re to be my nanny, are you?” Zevran said in a low voice. 

Leah snickered. “You heard that, huh?”

“Of course. I am fairly certain all of Ferelden heard you. I can’t say I don’t enjoy the idea. You could undress me, bathe me, punish me when I’ve been naughty,” he teased her.

“You’re terrible,” Leah said, but grinned. She moved closer to him. “I’ll tell you what. You focus that talented tongue on the rest of our companions, and I’ll play nanny all you like,” she purred into his ear.

He smirked at her. “How could I refuse such an enticing proposition?” 

They had not gone far into the forest before they were stopped by elves with markings on their face. A female elf with ash blond hair stepped forward, bow in hand.

“Stop right there, outsider. The Dalish have camped in this spot. I suggest you go elsewhere, and quickly.”

“Actually, I've been looking for the Dalish, “ Elissa said.

The elf narrowed her eyes. “I find that hard to believe. What business could we Dalish possibly have with a group like yours?”

“I'm a Grey Warden. I’d like to speak with your leader.”

The elf looked Elissa up and down, then turned her silent assessment towards the rest of the party. “A Grey Warden? How do I know you're telling the truth?”

Elissa shrugged. “You'll have to take my word on it.”

“I suppose that a lie wouldn't gain you much benefit,“ the elf conceded. She slung her bow across her back and made a gesture to the other archers. “I shall bring you to the keeper. In the camp, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself and remember that our arrows are still trained on you. Follow me.”

“You know, my mother was Dalish,” Zevran said to Leah as they walked. “Or so I am told. They are a proud people, those who refuse to bow to defeat.”

“Really? How did you end up in the city, then?” Leah asked.

“My mother had fallen in love with an elven woodcutter and left her clan behind for good. And then, of course, the woodcutter died of some filthy disease and my mother was forced into prostitution to pay off his debts. Oldest tale in the book,” he said.

Leah’s brow furrowed. “That’s horrible,” she said. 

“Is it?” Zevran’s tone made it sound like less of a question than a statement. “It seemed normal enough a tale growing up, no different than the other elven boys in the whorehouse. I didn't know my mother either, of course. She died giving birth to me. My first victim, as it were,” he grimaced. “We were all raised communally by the whores. It was a happy enough existence, ignoring the occasional beating, until eventually I was sold to the Crows. I brought a good price, so I hear.” 

Leah slowed and placed a hand on his arm. “Zevran, I'm so sorry…”

He looked at her with amusement. “Compassion and beauty both in the same woman, my my.”

Leah sighed. “I'm serious.”

“And I appreciate it, truly, but it is unnecessary. It could have been much worse. Shall I tell you about what happened to the other whorehouse boys who did not fetch a decent price with the Crows? Surely your life has not been so idyllic?” he asked. 

Leah frowned. “...No. I suppose not,” she said.

Zevran sighed. “My original point is that my mother's Dalish nature was always a point of fascination for me. Through all the years of my Crow training, the one thing of my mother's that I possessed was a pair of gloves. They were of Dalish make, I knew that much, and beautiful. I had to keep them hidden, of course, as we were not allowed such things. Eventually they were discovered, and I never saw them again.”

“There don’t seem to be many happy endings to the stories you’ve told about your life,” Leah observed. “Have you really experienced so little… I don’t know, joy? Or am I wrong?”

“Oh, there has been plenty,” he reassured her, chuckling. “To tell the truth, it is because I expected nothing more. Still, even I eventually thought that it would be better for me if I ran off to join the famous Dalish when one of their clans drew near Antiva City. Naturally the reality did not live up at all to the fantasies I had constructed as a boy, staring at those gloves. But such is life.”

“I suppose so,” Leah breathed.

* * *

A few moments later they came to a large clearing with old pillars and architecture. There was a campfire in the center, and multiple caravans around the perimeter. The elven archer led them to a bald mage dressed in robes who also had markings on his face.

As they approached his eyes flitted over the group, moving from face to face. “Hmm. I see we have guests. Who are these strangers, Mithra? I have precious little patience and less time to spend on outsiders today.”

“This one claims to be a Grey Warden and wishes to speak with the clan.” Mithra gestured to Elissa. “I thought it best to leave that decision to you.”

The mage nodded. “That was wise of you. Ma serannas, Mithra, you may return to your post.”

“Ma nuvenin, Keeper.” Mithra walked back out into the forest. 

“Allow me to introduce myself,” the mage said. “I am Zathrian, the keeper of this clan, its guide and preserver of our ancient lore. And you are?”

“My name is Elissa, a pleasure to meet you.”

Zathrian raised an eyebrow. “Manners? From a shemlen? Interesting. Have you come to spread news of the Blight? I had already sensed the corruption spreading in the south. I would have taken the clan north by now, had we the ability to move. Sadly, as you can see, we do not.” 

“Yes, it seems like you've had your own troubles. What are the odds?” Alistair commented. 

Elissa gave him a look of reproach. 

Zathrian ignored Alistair. “I imagine you are here regarding the treaty we signed centuries ago. Unfortunately, we may not be able to live up to the promise we made. This will require some... explanation. Please follow me.”

He led the party to an area of the camp where several wounded elves lay suffering on cots and explained their dilemma. Werewolves had ambushed the Dalish, and many of their warriors were infected with the curse that also afflicted the beasts. 

Leah wanted to be more surprised, but after everything else they had experienced it didn’t seem as insane as it might have even a couple months prior. Plus, werewolves figured somewhat prominently in Fereldan lore. She had read plenty about them in Castle Cousland’s library, as well as in the book Marcus had given her, which she had left behind the night that Howe attacked. At the time she assumed they were fairy tales, but experience had since taught her to expect fairy tales to be true more often than not.

“Is there no way to help your men?” Elissa asked.

“The affliction is a curse that runs rampant in their blood, bringing great agony and then ultimately either death or a transformation into something monstrous. The only thing that could help them must come from the source of the curse itself, and that… that would be no trivial task to retrieve,” Zathrian said, looking grim. 

Elissa and Alistair exchanged a look. 

“As it so happens, we have much experience with non-trivial tasks,” Elissa said.

Zathrian glanced between the two Grey Wardens. “Within the Brecilian Forest dwells a great wolf— we call him Witherfang. The curse originated in him, and it is through his blood that it has spread. If he is killed and his heart brought to me, perhaps I could destroy the curse, but this task has proven too dangerous for us.” He gestured for the party to follow him back towards the entrance of the camp. “I sent some hunters into the forest a week ago, but they have not returned. I cannot risk any more of my clan.”

“You said you could ‘perhaps’ destroy the curse?” Elissa said.

Zathrian held his hands out. “There is no guarantee that this will work as I suspect, but it's the only hope we have left.” 

Elissa sighed. “Then we'll find this Witherfang for you.”

She exchanged a few more words with the keeper, who directed her to his apprentice Lanaya and the clan’s storyteller for more information that might help them. 

Elissa approached Lanaya first. After introductions were made, Alistair jumped into the conversation. “You seem a little less hostile than the others in your clan.”

“Alistair!” Elissa admonished him. 

“What?” he said. “It’s true.”

“I was not born here,” Lanaya replied. “So I see things differently from the others. But I do not blame them for what they feel. They have reason. Since the days of Arlathan, my people have been either subjugated or homeless.”

“I’m very sorry for… him.” Elissa glared at Alistair. “But if I may, can you explain what Arlathan is? I thought your homeland was called the Dales.”

Lanaya nodded. “That was our second homeland. Our ancestral home was the great city of Arlathan, long ago when the humans first came to these lands. We were free then, and immortal. We did not know how to deal with the humans and in the end, they turned their power against us and destroyed Arlathan. Our ancestors were enslaved and our culture lost forever. The Dales came later, when we were freed from enslavement. But even those were taken from us too.”

“Elves were immortal then?” Leah said in awe. 

“They died, but not of an aged body as other races do,” Lanaya explained. “Not until the humans came. According to the legends, association with the humans caused us to quicken. Our blood sped and we began to age. So we avoided them, naturally. And then we were enslaved by them for a thousand years, and in so doing we all were quickened permanently and our immortality destroyed. Or so the old tales say.”

“Permanently?” Leah said. “So there’s no way to reverse the effect?”

Lanaya tilted her head. “In time, and with seclusion. We Dalish have lengthy life spans, and they will get longer. Zathrian himself has lived many centuries, though that is unusual even for us.”

Leah gave Zevran a questioning look but he only shrugged. She then found a more pressing question on her mind. 

“What happened to Arlathan? Does it still exist?” she asked Lanaya.

“Not to my knowledge. The Tevinter Imperium was a force to be reckoned with; it was ruled by mages with powerful blood magic. Arlathan fought, lost, and according to the old tales the human mages sank it into the ground, crushing it beneath the rock.”

“That’s horrible,” Leah muttered. 

“The elves were freed eventually though, right?” Elissa said.

“Yes. After a millennium of slavery, Andraste herself freed our people, she who was your Maker's chosen,” Lanaya said. 

“But you don't worship the Maker?” Elissa asked. 

“We worship the Creators, as we always have. We give thanks to Andraste for her part in our freedom, but we do not worship her or her god.”

“I can see why elves might resent humans,” Leah commented. 

“We call them ‘shemlen’— ‘quick children,’” Lanaya said. “I suppose it takes a certain arrogance to look upon another people as children, no? Perhaps we should be more heedful of our own role in Arlathan's loss. Even so, it was a bitter lesson to learn. One we are not grateful for.”

Elissa tried to change the subject. “So what can you tell me about Zathrian?”

“Nothing that you could not ask Zathrian himself,” Lanaya said. “He is the keeper of this clan, and has been for a very long time. He is also a very good man who has lost much. The Dalish are everything to him, and he would do anything to protect them.”

“Lost much? What has he lost?” Elissa asked.

“He... lost his family. A very long time ago,” Lanaya frowned. “I don't know the story, but I understand the circumstances were horrific.” 

“I see. What about you? You mentioned you were not born here. Where are you from?” Elissa said.

“I was born amongst humans. I came to the Dalish at a very young age,” Lanaya said. 

“How did you come to the Dalish if you were so young?”

“My parents were servants to a human merchant whose caravans plied the southern routes. One day, bandits killed him and my parents both. I was the only survivor, just a young girl, and the bandits took me. I was their... servant... for several years.”

The way Lanaya said the word “servant” made Leah feel as ill as the reminder that her own brush with bandits could have turned out much worse than it did. 

“I’m so sorry,” Leah said in a low voice.

Lanaya sighed. “It's taken me many years of reflection to come to terms with it, to... forgive what those men did to me. I can only imagine what would have happened had the clan not saved me from them. I owe them everything for that.”

“Of course,” Elissa said. “They saved your life.”

Lanaya nodded. “The bandits killed a scout when the clan passed near their camp. When the clan discovered him, Zathrian came looking for his killers. He followed their tracks for almost a month. And when he finally caught up to us, he fell on the bandits like a terror. No one could stop him. I sat there and watched him attack them in a blur, and I reveled in every blow.” 

“I don’t blame you,” Leah muttered. “I’d feel the same.”

“When Zathrian saw me, the fury in his eyes turned to pity. He took me back to the clan and I have been here ever since.”

“Didn't you have family you could have returned to?” Elissa asked.

“It's possible I might have had some. Maybe many,” Lanaya shrugged. “Zathrian offered to take me back, but I had no idea where I was from, and I wanted to stay with the man who rescued me. The clan is my family. Any others out there... it's best they believe that little girl died with her parents. For now, the clan is all I need. My old world could not have offered me all this and the knowledge of a keeper as well. Perhaps one day, when I am keeper, I might inquire out of curiosity. I am not sure what lies down that road except pain, however.”

Leah’s life could not have been more different than Lanaya’s, yet there was a resonance with the elven apprentice’s tale that she couldn’t ignore. She too had no idea how to get home and clung to the person who had rescued her. She had begun a new life that had given her skills and experiences that she never would have had in her world. Yet unlike Lanaya, who had accepted and embraced her new home, Leah still longed for the painful road. The one that might never lead anywhere good, or anywhere at all, as Wynne had warned her.

Oblivious to Leah’s internal conflict, Elissa continued the conversation. “So how did you become Zathrian's first?”

“Because I was not born into the clan, it was very difficult. We Dalish have old traditions. The clans come from the ranks of the nobility that once ruled the Dales, you see. The keepers of those clans have the strongest and purest blood that reaches back to the days of Arlathan. I had to compete against the other candidates for first, to be better than them in everything simply because I was not of the old blood.”

“You must be proud of your accomplishments, then,” Elissa said. 

“I am,” Lanaya gave her a small smile. “The ceremony where Zathrian anointed me as his first was the proudest day of my life. The clan has placed great trust in me. One day, I will lead them and be the one who secures our future.”

“Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us,” Elissa said. 

“Not at all,” Lanaya bowed her head. “Best of luck on your task.”

The party moved over to the campfire next. A man with chestnut brown hair sat with some younger elves. Leah assumed this was Sarel, their storyteller.

“We few wanderers greet you, shemlen,” Sarel said to Elissa. “We understand you are venturing into the haunted forest to save our brethren. I suspect your efforts may be in vain. An entire group of our hunters went into the forest to do as you intend, and they have not returned.”

“If I'm lucky, maybe I can find them,” she replied.

Sarel scoffed. “An outsider to the rescue, but of course! What were we doing trying to solve our own problems?”

Elissa paled and clenched her jaw, but remained silent. 

A young female elf spoke up. “You are being most unkind, Sarel. Would you refuse our hunters help simply because of the hand that offered it?”

Sarel sighed and clasped his hands together in front of him. “You shame me, lethallan. I have allowed my bitterness to cloud my better judgment.” He turned back to Elissa. “Forgive me, Grey Warden. It is most difficult to forget the lessons the shemlen have taught us. Perhaps I can make amends. Stay while I spin a tale for our children and then I will tell you of the forest, if you desire.”

Elissa’s face remained neutral. “Yes, I'd like that.”

“Come and join us then, all of you,” Sarel motioned to the rest of the party, then turned towards the younger elves. “Now, what say we tell the story of the fall of the Dales? Which of you children knows that best?”

The youngest, a blond elven boy, volunteered. “I... think I do.”

“Yes? Then come, child,” Sarel encouraged him. “Don't be frightened of the outsiders. Now... where do you suppose such a tale should begin?”

“When we were slaves?” the boy offered. 

“Yes,” Sarel said. “Long ago, our people were slaves to an empire the shemlen had built on the darkest magic. They took away our history and our language and left us nothing. And then that empire fell and we were freed.”

The boy became more animated. “Because Andraste came with her army and Shartan joined her!”

Sarel continued. “Yes. Andraste, the shemlen prophet, came out of the south and challenged the Tevinter Imperium. Our ancestor, Shartan, fought at her side. And when the rebellion came to an end, we were given a new homeland in the west: the Dales. We began to rebuild the culture and history we had lost in our years of slavery. We worshipped the Creators and made the Dales our home.” He turned to Elissa. “Perhaps you know what happened next, stranger? Do you know what happened to the Dales?”

“I know that they too were taken from the elves,” Elissa said, her voice tense. 

While Sarel had offered to make amends, Leah could tell he still had a chip on his shoulder and was taking advantage of the opportunity to condescend to a human. 

“Indeed. The shemlen resented that we would not worship their Maker, and they resented our ways because they were so different from their own. The shemlen nations grew cold towards the Dales. They called us blasphemers and tyrants and declared war upon us— a great crusade.”

“Not every human felt that way, I'm sure,” Alistair interjected.

Sarel turned on Alistair. “And which is worse? The actions of those who believed they were right? Or the inaction of those who knew they were wrong?” 

The entire party stayed quiet. 

Sarel turned towards the fire. “Oh, I am certain we played a part in our downfall. We believed that the shemlen would not revoke their prophet's gift so lightly. We were wrong. They took our lands, forcing us to abandon our gods and live as beggars in shemlen cities,” Sarel took a moment to calm his fervor. “But there were those of us who refused to abandon our ways. They emblazoned the symbols of the Creators upon their flesh and vowed to keep their ancient lore alive.”

“That's us!” the elven child said. “That's the Dalish!”

Sarel nodded. “We chose to wander, homeless, rather than be ruled by the shemlen. And all our clans wander alone until the day we have a homeland once more.”

The child spoke again. “Then we will bring the old ways back to our people because they have forgotten it all.”

“For we are the Dalish: the Keepers of the Lost Lore,” Sarel recited. 

“The Walkers of the Lonely Path,” the female elf continued. 

Another young male warrior spoke. “We are the Elvhenan, and never again shall we submit.”

“And that is the tale of the Dales, stranger,” Sarel spoke in a quieter voice. “Thank you for allowing us to tell it to you.”

“Thank you for telling it,” Elissa said in a clipped tone. 

“Perhaps one day, you will tell us a tale of your people. A day when you are not guest and stranger but savior. Now as I said I would, I can tell you what I know of the Brecilian Forest. Do you wish to hear it?”

Elissa’s genuine voice returned. “Yes, please tell me of the forest.”

“Our legends say that before the shemlen came, the Brecilian Forest was a place of our ancestors that predated even our oldest homeland. The people of the Imperium came here and gave the forest its name. A great many battles were fought here; these trees grow upon the graves of those who fell— shemlen and elves both,” Sarel explained. 

“How does that connect with the werewolves?” Elissa asked. 

“So much death in one place tore the Veil into the Beyond,” Sarel said, gesturing with his hands to imitate the tear. “What you would call ‘the Fade,’ the place of dreams and spirits. When the Veil is torn, spirits pass into our world freely. The legends say that one great spirit possessed the wolf that became Witherfang, who passed its curse of rage onto men and created werewolves.”

“And this Witherfang still exists today?”

“So Zathrian insists,” Sarel said. “He says that Witherfang does not age as the werewolves do. Witherfang is as much spirit as it is beast, and thus it is immortal. Perhaps it cannot even be slain. At the very least it is old and powerful, much as Zathrian himself.” 

“Do you have any idea how many werewolves are out there?” Elissa said.

“No one knows,” Sarel shook his head. “When the shemlen lived in these parts, the curse would spread anew to a few of them with each passing year. They would run off into the forest, never to be seen again. Eventually, all the shemlen left. One assumes the werewolves survive by passing their curse to their offspring. They have had no new blood... until now, that is.” 

“What else do you know about the werewolves?” Elissa asked. 

“We know only what Zathrian has told us over the years. I never saw one myself until the attack,” Sarel admitted. 

“How did they ambush you if they are mindless?” Elissa pressed. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Some of us have wondered,” Sarel said. “The keeper says they are simply cunning, that any beast can lie in wait… but this seemed more than that.”

The male warrior spoke up. “It was planned. These are no simple beasts.”

“Then the real question is why the keeper would insist that it is not so,” Sarel said in a low voice, to himself as much as the others. 

“Why would he lie?” Elissa asked. 

Sarel shrugged. “I do not believe he would. But even the wisest of men do not always see the truth in front of them, nor do they always wish to.”

Alistair took a turn at questioning Sarel. “Do you have any advice on fighting the werewolves?”

“They can shapeshift into wolves, and hide amongst the true wolves. They have strength and speed far beyond what’s ordinary. Like wolves, they hunt in packs so as to combine their strength. But in the end, a blade kills them as surely as it does any other.”

“Thank the Maker for that,” Alistair muttered.

“Thank you, Sarel. You’ve been a great help,” Elissa moved to stand.

Sarel held a hand up. “One last warning: the forest is like a thing alive. It changes as it wills, closing paths behind you and opening up new ones. Too many have become lost within, unable to find their way out. Were I you I would endeavor not to make the forest my enemy.”

Elissa nodded and the party moved on. While Elissa spoke with some other elves, Leah slipped away to the clan’s craftsmaster, Varathorn, who Zathrian suggested might be willing to trade them for supplies. As she approached he was correcting a young apprentice. 

“Please forgive my distraction, stranger,” Varathorn said. “Is there something that you need?”

Leah gave him a polite smile. “What kinds of things do you make here?”

“It’s my responsibility to learn what I can of the ancient elven arts of shaping wood and ore. For example, there is wood that, if treated properly, is as hard as steel but far lighter. It’s called ironbark, and it only grows in this forest. Unfortunately, the keeper has forbidden us from entering to collect the wood, and this means I cannot make our finest crafts for years to come.”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Well, we’re heading into the forest. I could retrieve some ironbark for you.”

Varathorn glanced up at her, then towards Zathrian. “I would be hesitant to ask it of you, but… if you should come across ironbark, I suppose there would be no harm in gathering some. It is blue, and very distinctive. You can only harvest the bark which has fallen off the tree from age. If you find some and bring it to me, I will craft it for you.”

“Really?” Leah said. “What kind of item could you make?”

“I excel in making blades, or perhaps a breastplate? Provided there is enough wood, that is.” Varathorn said. 

“Perfect,” Leah said. “I’ll keep an eye out while we’re in the forest.”

“That would please me, so long as our hunters come first.”

“Of course,” she nodded. “For now, I’d like to barter with you, if possible.”

“I am no merchant, but let us trade. Perhaps there is something here which will be of value to you.” Varathorn laid out weapons, armor and supplies and Leah selected items she thought would help them in their task. 

Among the pieces of armor Varathorn had available, something caught Leah’s eye. She moved a chestplate and a pair of boots out of the way and there they were: a pair of leather gloves with an intricate, braided pattern stitched into them. She picked them up to examine them. They were very soft, and had a fur lining. 

Leah glanced over at Zevran, who was still with Elissa and the rest of the party, then back down at the gloves. She added them to the pile of items she planned to trade for, but once the transaction was complete she put the gloves in her own pack, separated from the party’s inventory. 

When she was ready Leah rejoined the group. They were speaking with a white-haired female elf who stood next to a peculiar animal. It was white and looked almost like a deer, but somehow more. There were several in a pen nearby, but this one was separated from them.

“What is a halla?” Elissa asked, as Leah walked up.

“They are the noble beasts that pull our aravel— what humans call ‘landships.’ They are our companions and our guides,” the elf explained. 

“I have also heard claims that they lead an elf to oblivion when he dies,” Zevran chimed in.

“Cheerful,” Leah said, sidling up next to him.

“I thought so,” he said.

“So you don’t use them as mounts?” Elissa asked.

“We ride the halla, but never with reins or a saddle,” the elf said. “It is the halla who decide where to lead us, and our privilege that they take our aravel with them. In return, it's the herder's job to speak to the halla and care for their needs. It is a bond of friendship and not servitude.” 

“Why have you separated this one from the others?” Elissa asked. 

The elf looked at the halla with concern. “I fear she may have been bitten during the werewolf attack. I have tried speaking with her, but she is too agitated for me to understand. The curse would not affect her as it would us, but it would still be lethal. It may prove contagious to the other halla, as well. I can find no wound on her, but if she's truly ill, then…” she sighed. “Then I will have to put her out of her misery. For her sake as well as that of the others. “

Elissa frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

The elf shrugged. “I don't know. Do you have any skills that might help her? If you do, I would be grateful.”

Leah tilted her head as she took in the sight of the halla. This was a unique animal she would have never seen in her world. Its antlers were graceful and elegant, twisting around in wavy curves. 

When the sick halla noticed Leah, it ignored everyone else. It’s ears pricked up and twitched, and its rich dark eyes sought hers. 

Leah was taken aback. She wasn’t sure what it was going to do. When it walked up to her, she held her hands up in what she hoped was a friendly, non-threatening gesture. 

The halla dipped its head towards her a couple of times, then found an opening under Leah’s left arm and brushed against her side as it tried to put its head under her hand. 

Leah looked up. The white-haired elf, Elissa and the rest of the party were all staring at her. They seemed just as confused as she was.

“Um, hi… halla,” Leah took off her gloves to pet the halla’s head. It closed its eyes and let a content breath out through its nose. It leaned into her and sighed again when Leah rubbed its neck.

“Your companion has a way with animals,” the elf said. 

“Bones does adore you.” Elissa raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s a gift?” Leah said, unsure what was happening. She continued petting the halla until it shook its head and moved away of its own accord, back towards the elf.

“Yes, that's it. She's calming down! That's it, love. Be calm. Tell me what troubles you…” the elf held a hand out towards the halla. “Ah, I see. It is her life-mate who is sick, not her. He was bitten on the leg during the attack and she fears greatly for him. I did not realize another halla was injured. This will allow me to prevent the sickness from spreading to the entire herd.” She turned to Leah. “Ma serannas— thank you. You have done my clan a great boon this day. I will always be grateful for your help.”

“It was nothing,” Leah said, still confused. “Anything to be of help.”

As the group walked off towards the west part of the forest to begin their task, Elissa pulled Leah aside. 

“What was that about?”

“I have no idea. For a second I was afraid it was going to charge me, to be honest. I guess it just… liked me?” Leah shrugged. 

“A lucky thing. It will help boost our standing with the clan,” Elissa looked back. “I was beginning to get annoyed by Sarel. I know human history with the elves has been awful, but I was trying my best to be diplomatic.”

Leah sighed. “I know you were. But you have to remember that they don’t. Not yet. They’ll see that you do care.”

“I hope so,” Elissa furrowed her brow. 

“Also, you have got to stop Alistair from his smart comments,” Leah suggested. 

“Would that I could,” Elissa said in a frustrated tone. “I love him and all, but sometimes he just…”

“Ohhh, are we at the ‘love’ part?” Leah interrupted her. 

Elissa glanced at Leah and blushed. “Yes, it would seem we are.” She tried to keep a sly smile off her face. 

“That’s exciting,” Leah said. “You don’t have to hide that.”

Elissa shrugged. “I’m not trying to hide it. It’s just we have so much else to do, so many important things happening. Plus, our companions seem to have no end to their own opinions on our relationship.” She shook her head. “I’d rather not invite more, if possible.”

“Well, you know what they say about opinions,” Leah said.

“No, what?” Elissa asked. 

Leah realized too late that in Thedas, they may not have the same sayings as they had in her world. “Never mind. My point is, they’re just opinions. Doesn’t matter as long as you and Alistair are on the same page.”

Elissa nodded. “You’re right. Still, what I wouldn’t give to avoid those awkward conversations. Especially with Wynne…”

“Oh boy,” Leah said. “You have my sympathy.”

“I don’t need sympathy, I need a silencing spell,” Elissa joked. 

“I cannot help you there,” Leah said. She tapped the pommel of her sword. “Just got this.”

“Me too,” Elissa grumbled. “If only knocking someone unconscious was a socially acceptable way to end an unwanted conversation.”

“Amen, sister,” Leah said.

* * *

Not long after they entered the forest, they encountered their first werewolves. These did not appear to be intelligent or sentient; they simply attacked. The party made quick work of them, and found it easier than expected to avoid their bite.

While at a small crossroads made of planks of wood over water, they had a more remarkable experience. Three werewolves approached, but did not attack right away. To their surprise, the creature closest to them spoke.

“The watch wolves have spoken truly, my brothers and sisters. The Dalish send a human, of all things, to repay us for our attack, to put us in our place. What bitter irony.”

Leah was relieved to see that everyone in the party was as shocked as she was to be face to face with a talking werewolf.

Elissa worked to keep her composure as she addressed him. “And who are you supposed to be?”

“You speak to Swiftrunner,” the werewolf said, then growled. “I lead my cursed brothers and sisters. Turn back now, go back to the Dalish and tell them that you have failed. Tell them we will gladly watch them suffer the same curse we have suffered for too long. We will watch them pay!”

“I would prefer to talk to you. I mean you no harm,” Elissa tried.

“Was it not Zathrian who sent you?” Swiftrunner growled again. “He wishes only our destruction, never to talk!”

“You talk of Zathrian as if you know him,” Elissa said.

“We have never met, he and I. He would not survive the experience, I swear it,” Swiftrunner said.

“Why, exactly? Why do you hate him so much?”

Swiftrunner became more agitated. “You know nothing, do you? Nothing of us and even less of those you serve. You are a fool, and we are done talking.” He crouched in an intimidating pose. “Run from the forest while you can. Run to the Dalish and tell them they are doomed.”

“I’m afraid we can’t do that,” Elissa sighed. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Swiftrunner growled once more. “Very well. I will not risk throwing my people at you like unthinking brutes. Come, brothers and sisters, let us retreat. The forest has eyes of its own, and it will deal with intruders as it always has.”

* * *

As the group continued their trek, they found more than just werewolves. The forest contained bears, normal wolves, and even darkspawn. The most surprising foe turned out to be a tree, of all things. Some trees would come to life and attack when the party came too close. It was near one of these trees that Leah noticed some blue bark that had come off a nearby fallen tree.

“Hold on!” she called out after the attacking tree was defeated. She moved over to the non-living tree and began collecting bark. “This is ironbark. Varathorn was looking for this, and promised to make us a weapon if I retrieved it. If any of you dare use this as firewood tonight, I will end you. I want to see what kind of sword it will make.”

“Yes ser,” Elissa teased her. 

“Go on, make fun of me,” Leah smirked. “I’ll start keeping all the good equipment for myself from now on.” She winked.

Not long after they discovered the ironbark, the party came upon an elf who was barely alive. Elissa examined him. 

“Well, he’s alive so far. But he is still bleeding a great deal and needs help,” she said. 

“Is he… was he bitten?” Alistair asked.

Elissa shook her head. “Not that I can see. He was attacked by a creature with claws, but I find no bites. I think we can take him back to camp.”

They made the walk back, carrying the elf. Mithra met them along the way with their other scouts. They took the hunter back, grateful for the possibility to save one of their hunters.

The party began walking the same path they had already taken, which meant there were no new foes for some time. 

Leah finally took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the trees and the landscape. Somehow the forest seemed a more vibrant green than anywhere else in Ferelden. Despite the gravity of their mission, and the odd things they had seen thus far, she began to notice the soothing sound of the birds, and the gentle breeze.

As they walked, Leah saw Wynne eyeing Zevran. Something was clearly on her mind. 

“You must know that murder is wrong, I assume,” she finally said.

_Here we go_ , Leah thought with a grin.

Zevran looked around in jest. “I’m sorry… are you speaking to me?”

“That is why you wish to leave your Crows. A crisis of conscience.”

“Yes, that is exactly it,” he said, the sarcasm evident.

“Joke if you wish, but I have the feeling that deep down you regret the life you have lived,” Wynne said. 

Zevran brought a hand to his chest in mock anguish. “It’s true. I regret it all.”

Wynne huffed. “Must you be such a child? Are you incapable of a single, serious conversation?”

“I know. I am terrible and it makes me sad,” Zevran sighed. “May I rest my head in your bosom? I wish to cry.”

Leah stifled a laugh.

“You can cry well away from my bosom, I’m certain,” Wynne said. 

“Did I tell you I was an orphan? I never knew my mother,” he continued.

“Egad. I give up,” Wynne waved him off. 

As their walk remained uneventful, Alistair was the next to speak up.

“So those… designs you have all over your back…” he said to Zevran.

“They’re called tattoos,” Zevran replied. “And I have them in many more places than just on my back, my friend.”

Leah snickered.

“Err… right,” Alistair looked from her to Zevran. “I hear that someone gets those by having needles put the ink under your skin?”

“A great many needles, amongst other things. Yes, that would be true.”

“Didn’t that hurt?” Alistair asked. 

“Ohhh, yes, yes. But it is not so bad, in truth. If you like, I could give you one. I learned a bit of the art myself in Antiva.”

“Hey, you’ve never offered me a tattoo!” Leah interjected. 

Zevran brought a finger to his lips to silently shush her. 

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know…”

“Come, it will just be a small one. Perhaps the symbol of the Grey Wardens?” Zevran suggested.

Alistair perked up. “That might not be bad. If it were just a small one… when could you do it?”

Zevran held a hand up. “Not so fast, my friend. There is an entire ritual to how this is done, do you not know? First I need to bathe you in a mixture of olives and rosewater.”

“You need to… bathe me? That seems… odd.” Alistair grimaced. 

“No, no, no, not at all,” Zevran insisted. “It needs to be worked into your skin, preparing it to receive the ink. The massage is quite pleasurable, do not worry. You are in good hands.”

“The… massage?” Alistair furrowed his brow. “You’re having me on, aren’t you?”

Zevran smirked. “I might be. I might not be. Shall I describe the rest of the ritual to you?”

“Hmm. No. No, on second thought I’ll just pass.”

Zevran laughed. “Excellent choice!”

Leah turned to Zevran. “Not that I don’t appreciate you making Alistair uncomfortable, but now you’ve just got me thinking about that massage.”

“I’ll massage anything you like, my dear,” he replied.

“Hmm,” Leah eyed him. “You need to do better with your teasing. Of them, not me.”

He grinned in response. “Who says I cannot do both, hmm?”

She just shook her head and kept walking. 

After a few minutes, Zevran addressed Wynne once again. 

“Would you like to continue our discussion, my darling Wynne?”

Wynne narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you changed your mind yet? Are you willing to speak seriously?”

“Of your bosom? Absolutely.”

She sighed, exasperated. “No, I do not wish to speak of my bosom.”

“But it is a marvelous bosom. I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?” Zevran said. 

“Stop talking about my bosom,” Wynne insisted. 

“But I thought you wished to speak seriously?”

“I do,” Wynne said. “I thought, however foolishly, that you might be willing to speak of your past.”

“Oh, we could certainly do that,” Zevran mused. “There have been many bosoms in my past, though only few as fine as yours.”

“Enough. I am ending this conversation.” She hurried ahead to avoid further interaction with Zevran. 

He turned to Leah. “Is this more to your satisfaction?”

Leah smirked. “You’re doing better, but you’re not even close to satisfying me yet.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” Zevran said. 

“It would to a man who had trouble satisfying women,” she retorted. 

“That’s funny, I seem to recall satisfying you many times thus far.”

“Ehh… you could do better,” Leah teased. 

Zevran gave her a wide grin. “I would hate to ruin you for all other men. They would never be able to measure up.”

Leah snorted. “I’m hearing a lot of talk and no action.”

Zevran licked his lips. “Alistair? Might I offer you a bit of advice, my friend?”

“I like my hair the way it is, thank you,” Alistair said. 

Zevran tilted his head and looked at Alistair. “Truly? As you wish… though my advice is regarding something else completely. It has to do with your recent… exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard.”

“My…? Oh.” He shifted in his armor as he realized Zevran’s meaning. 

“Maker’s breath,” Elissa hissed. “This can’t be happening.”

“It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are… feeling alright, yes? Perhaps you are tired?” Zevran feigned concern. 

“We aren’t talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?” Alistair said. 

“I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume, perhaps you ought to try arching your—”

Alistair turned around and held both hands up. “Whoa! Whoa! Awkward!”

Zevran clucked his tongue. “You Fereldens are so finicky. How will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?”

Alistair slapped his hands over his ears. “Not listening! La la la la la!”

Leah couldn’t help laughing out loud. 

“I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Elissa said sarcastically.

“Ahh, so am I,” Leah said.

* * *

Just before the sun began to set, they came upon a clearing with several more enemy trees. After defeating them, they discovered perhaps the strangest sight any of them had seen.

The largest tree in the clearing moved, but did not attack. It appeared to be a creature made of bark, with branches and leaves coming off its back. The tree then spoke to them, but only in rhymes. Leah had experienced many surreal moments since arriving in Thedas, but this one made her feel like Alice tumbling into Wonderland through a rabbit hole. 

The tree was called the Grand Oak, and he of course had a task for them. Luckily, this task seemed infinitely easier than defeating werewolves: he merely wanted an acorn back from someone who had stolen it and escaped into the eastern area of the forest. Elissa was as baffled as the rest of them, but agreed easily before moving on.

* * *

At this point in their journey through the forest, the party stopped to camp. They had no tents, so they made a fire and set out bedrolls for the night. After eating a small dinner, they sat around the campfire making idle talk.

As Leah listened to the chatter, she leaned back on her hands and stared into the fire. She felt someone looking at her, and when she glanced up Zevran’s eyes were roving over her. They had an intense, hungry look that she recognized well. When his gaze met hers, he smirked and she raised an eyebrow in response. 

“Are we seriously out of firewood?” Elissa said, breaking Leah’s reverie. “I swear we had enough for the night just a couple hours ago.”

“It’s gone already?” Leah said. She hoisted herself to her feet. “Alright, I’ll go get some more.”

“Are you sure?” Elissa asked. 

“Yeah,” Leah replied. “I would hate for my wood-gathering skills to atrophy while on this wild adventure.”

“I will accompany you,” Zevran offered. “Maker knows what beasts roam the forest at this hour.”

Elissa nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

Leah gave Zevran a curious look. “Sure. We’ll be back soon,” she gave Elissa a reassuring smile. 

They walked silently through the forest. At a fork in the path, Leah tried to head one way before Zevran nudged her in the other direction. 

“Come on, this way,” he said. 

“Why? There’s more wood over to the left,” she protested.

“Just trust me,” he grabbed her hand and guided her to the right.

After traveling a short distance further, he turned and pulled her into his arms. “Here we are,” he said.

“Here we are what?” Leah said, then sighed as Zevran zeroed in on a sensitive spot just below her ear. “You can’t be serious…”

He pushed her back against a large tree and moved his lips to hers. “I’m quite serious. You’ve driven me wild all day.”

Leah chuckled. “We can’t, what about finding the firewood? If we take too long they’ll get suspicious.”

Zevran gestured to her left with his head. “All taken care of.”

Leah looked down. There was a perfect pile of firewood, taken right out of their camp hours before. “I knew we had enough to last the night. You planned this,” she accused him.

“Of course I did.” He began to loosen the straps on her armor. “But you’re right, we haven’t much time, so…”

She tried to slow him down, but his fingers were faster than hers and before she knew it, she was in her undershirt, leggings and boots. “This is insane.”

Zevran worked on his own armor while he argued with her. “It’s so perfectly Dalish. Two lovers having a secret tryst out in the woods at night, making love up against a tree…” he pressed his body against hers, then slid his hand inside her leggings. 

Leah moaned without thinking, and his other hand came up to cover her mouth. 

“But unless you want to be interrupted, you will have to be quiet, my dear,” he said, removing the hand over her mouth once she had lowered her voice.

Leah panted. “This is payback for my comments about satisfying me, isn’t it?”

“Nothing so petty,” Zevran said, his breath against her throat. “It is lust, pure and simple. Your sense of mirth, your prowess in battle… how could I resist such a creature?”

She started to laugh, then threw her head back and stifled a cry when his fingers moved against her. “Zev, please…” she breathed.

“Do you wish me to stop?” he asked.

“Don’t you dare,” she suppressed another moan.

He chuckled. Together they made quick work of the rest of their clothing. As they made love in the cool, velvety darkness of the forest, Leah felt the rest of the world drop away. She forgot her past and her pain, the Dalish and their werewolves, and any fears about her future.

* * *

Afterwards, Zevran and Leah made themselves presentable again, grabbed the nearby firewood and headed back to camp. Their companions were still awake when they returned.

“That took some time, did you have any trouble?” Elissa said.

“No trouble, just some wild animals rutting in the bushes,” Zevran said, grinning.

Leah wanted to laugh, but swallowed it instead. “It just took some time to find enough wood. Wanted to make sure we didn’t run out the rest of the night,” she said. 

“Good thinking,” Elissa said, oblivious to Zevran’s on-point comment. “I think I’m ready to sleep. We still have a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Agreed,” Leah said. She added wood to the fire, and set the rest nearby. “Good night!”

“Sweet dreams,” Zevran smirked as he settled onto his own bed roll.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party continues their quest for the Dalish in the western part of the Brecilian forest, and eventually discover the werewolf's lair deep within an ancient ruin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped to go back to posting on Sundays, but I've had a really rough week due to mental health issues and it was difficult to get this chapter where I wanted it. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience, and for new and returning readers! Seeing you visit, comment and give kudos is what kept me working on this through everything else on my mind this week.

The next morning the party continued into the east side of the Brecilian Forest using the southern path they had taken on the west side. Along the way they fought several more trees. Each time they defeated one, Leah swore the tree aimed its lifeless trunk at them. She lost count of the times she leapt out of the way to avoid being crushed by either the trunk itself, or the branches. 

After a battle in which they faced three trees at once, Leah had already sidestepped out of the way of one when she heard a shout.

“Watch out!” Alistair called.

Leah turned in time to see a second tree falling her way, but not in time to avoid it. The tree groaned, and its upper branches knocked her flat on her back. 

“Ow…” Leah croaked from the ground.

She heard someone pulling branches back and cutting them away. When the leaves that obscured her vision were cleared away, Zevran stood above her holding his hand out. 

Leah grabbed it, pulled her lower body out from under the tree, then stood with Zevran’s help. “I don’t like trees so much any more,” she said. 

Zevran picked a few leaves out of her hair. “That’s a shame, you would be quite lovely as one,” he grinned. 

“Funny.” Leah pulled other twigs and leaves out of her armor. 

She heard a stifled laugh, and turned towards Elissa, Alistair and Wynne. The two Grey Wardens were red-faced with repressed laughter, and even Wynne was trying to hide a smile behind her hand.

“Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, get it out of your system. ‘Ha ha, a tree fell on Leah.’ Thank you for your concern for my safety.” She pulled her hair loose and brushed a few more pieces of bark out before twisting it back up into a bun.

Elissa and Alistair burst out laughing, relieved to be given permission. 

“Oh my,” Wynne said, keeping her composure. “Are you alright? Do you need some healing?”

“Just to my dignity,” Leah replied. “But thank you. If you two are done, can we please?” She gestured down the path. 

Elissa recovered first. “I’m so sorry. Yes, let’s keep going.”

“The look on your face though,” Alistair continued laughing.

“That’s enough,” Elissa swatted at him and giggled. “We can’t waste any more time.”

They next reached a crossroads with three possible paths to take. Elissa threw her arms in the air.

“I don’t know which one to take,” she said. 

“Hmm,” Alistair looked at their choices. “We’ve been sticking to the south for a while, we could keep going that way and see what we find?”

“It’s as good a reason as any,” Elissa started walking down the southeast path.

After a while they found a thick mist blocking the way. 

“What is that?” Leah asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Elissa said. 

“Is it… natural? Or magical? Or… poisonous?” Leah cringed.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Zevran shrugged and went through the mist backwards.

“Zevran, hang on!” Leah and the others quickly followed. 

The next thing they knew, they were walking out of the mist the same way they had just entered it. They could see the crossroads in the distance. 

“Okay, not what I expected,” Leah said. 

“I… guess we’d better head back and take a different path?” Alistair asked Elissa.

They took the eastward path instead. This time, the path led them to a clearing. A grizzled old man with a bushy white beard was alone, swinging his fists at nothing. He muttered to himself as he danced around. 

“Let’s take this slow,” Elissa said to the rest of the group. “He’s clearly not in his right mind.”

They crept towards the hermit, wary of startling him. When they were close enough he stopped his mad dance and turned to Elissa. 

“Oh dear, oh dear!” he said. “Not a werewolf and not a spirit even, what are the woods coming to?”

“Indeed,” Elissa tried to smile. “And who are you?”

The hermit threw up his hands. “Questions, questions, always questions! They say it was questions that made me mad; will it do the same for you? Ask a question and you'll get a question, but give an answer and you'll receive the same! Oh, I do so love to trade!”

“You... want me to answer a question?” she asked.

“Wouldn't I have to ask you a question first?” the hermit said. 

“Perhaps I could ask you some questions instead,” Elissa tried. 

“No!!” the hermit scowled. “That is not a question! And if it be an answer, it be an answer to a question I've not asked! Have you no sense for the rules?”

“Be careful, Elissa,” Wynne warned. “This is no ordinary man. He is a mage... driven mad, perhaps, but still powerful.”

“No fair bringing mages to a guessing game! Will you play by the rules or not?” the hermit challenged Elissa. 

“Sure,” she replied. “In that case... would you like to ask me a question?”

“I think it is your turn to ask, is it not?”

The hermit’s logic made Leah dizzy. She stopped trying to follow it and looked around the clearing instead. As Elissa navigated the question game, Leah noticed Zevran creeping towards a large hollow tree stump. She followed him, keeping an eye on the hermit. Luckily the old man was distracted for the moment.

“Zev, what are you doing?” Leah whispered. 

He peeked into the stump and gestured with his head. “There is something in there. Shall I show off my quick hands?” He raised an eyebrow and held his hands out. 

Leah rolled her eyes. “Unless you’re trying to get into that stump’s pants, your hands aren’t as quick as you’d like to believe. Leave it alone and get back over here!” She jerked her head back towards the group. 

Zevran gave a resigned sigh. “Fine, as you wish.”

When they returned, Elissa had somehow steered the hermit’s questions around to bartering. She agreed to give him a book she had obtained from one of the elves in camp in exchange for an acorn, presumably the Grand Oak’s acorn. 

When the trade was done, Elissa held up the acorn to the party. “I suppose we can head back and return this to the Grand Oak. He promised us something that would help us through the forest, perhaps it will have something to do with that mist?”

“It’s as good of a plan as any,” Alistair agreed. “Let’s go.”

* * *

When they arrived back on the west side of the first, the Grand Oak was delighted and relieved to have his acorn back.

“My joy soars to new heights indeed! I am reunited with my seed!” The Grand Oak presented Elissa with a branch. “As I promised, here it be. I hope its magic pleases thee. Keep this branch of mine with thee, and pass throughout the forest free. I wish thee well, my mortal friend. Thou brought my sadness to an end. May the sunlight find you, thy days be long, thy winters kind, and thy roots be strong.”

* * *

They returned to the magical mist once more. Elissa stood before it, oak branch in hand. She looked dubious.

“Is this really going to work?” she asked Alistair. “I mean… it’s just a branch.”

“It’s a branch you just got from a magic talking tree, Elissa,” Leah interjected. “I can’t believe I just said that sentence…”

“Here goes,” Elissa shrugged and walked forward.

This time they moved through the mist and came out the other side. 

“Thank the Maker,” Elissa muttered. “If that didn’t work I wasn’t sure what we were going to do.”

Now that they had made it past the barrier, the party continued on their path through the forest. After only a few minutes they were stopped once more by Swiftrunner and his companions.

“The forest has not been vigilant enough,” he said. “Still you come. You are stronger than we could have anticipated. The Dalish chose well. But you do not belong here, outsider. Leave this place!”

“I'm sorry, but I cannot do that,” Elissa said.

“You came even though we warned you not to. You are as treacherous as the Dalish. We will not allow harm to come to Witherfang!” Swiftrunner snarled. 

“I don’t understand. Why do you call the Dalish treacherous? You attacked them,” Elissa pointed out.

Swiftrunner growled. “And they deserved no less! You are an intruder in our home! You come to kill, as all your kind do! We have learned this lesson well. Here Witherfang protects us. Here we learn our names and are beloved! We will defend Witherfang and this place with our lives!” He threw his head back and howled, and the werewolves attacked. 

Leah drew her sword and readied her shield just in time. One of the werewolves charged at her, and she braced herself for the heavy thud of its body. She heard it whine in pain, and pushed it back as hard as she could. 

The werewolf reeled back a step, and Leah took the opportunity to get a swing in with her sword. Then she held the wolf off with her shield to protect herself from its fangs and claws. She continued like this until the wolf was finally dead. 

She turned to see how the rest of the party fared. Elissa and Alistair were still locked into battle with Swiftrunner. Just as he was near defeat, a large white wolf leapt from above and knocked Elissa back. The wolf barked and snarled at her, then howled and ran away with Swiftrunner and one remaining werewolf. 

“Witherfang, I presume?” Alistair commented as he sheathed his sword. 

“I suspect you’re right,” Elissa said. “Let’s push forward.”

The party continued on their path, which now featured ancient stone archways and crumbling walls. 

“How long do you think these have been here?” Leah asked Elissa, gesturing towards one of the archways. “What were they?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Perhaps they were elven ruins? They could date back to the time of Arlathan for all we know.”

“It makes one wonder which came first: the forest or the ruins,” Zevran added. 

The party stopped in its tracks. A new group of werewolves stood before them, but they did not attack. 

“We are invaded!” one spoke. “Intruders have deceived their way into the forest's heart! Fall back to the ruins! Protect the Lady!”

The werewolves ran away, further down the path toward what appeared to be the heart of the ruins: a large round central building with additional rooms built off to each side. There were many eroded pillars and structures surrounding it. 

“My word,” Wynne breathed. 

“Maker’s breath. Was there an entire city here once?” Alistair said. 

“Hmmm…” Zevran mused. “There may be other treasures to be found here besides wolf droppings.”

The party paused in front of the entrance. 

“Well this is it, Werewolf City. Kind of a flea heaven, isn’t it?” Alistair said. “Think this is where Swiftrunner and the others went?” 

“I’d be willing to bet on it,” Elissa agreed.

“Let’s be on our guard,” Wynne said. “I think we’re being watched.”

They opened the large door with a creak, which revealed a set of stairs leading down. They ended in a large room with roots and vines over the walls, and sunlight coming in through broken portions. There were statues and sculpture all throughout the ruins that depicted humans and elves alike.

“Is this really an elven place? Did the elves live underground just like the dwarves?” Alistair turned slowly, taking in the ancient architecture.

“I don’t know, this almost looks…” Elissa started. 

“Tevinter?” Wynne finished for her. “But it appears elven as well.”

“Perhaps elves once lived with the Tevinter humans? Or the Tevinters built this place for them? I never heard of such a thing,” Zevran said. 

“The people who enslaved the elves?” Leah said. “That definitely doesn’t make any sense.” 

They tried to go down another set of stairs to a door, but it was barred from the other side. They went back and tried another door, which opened. . 

As they continued, they encountered huge spiders. They made their webs everywhere along the walls and floor, and if you stepped in one it functioned as well as any trap. In some of the rooms they found cocoons of people who had not escaped the spiders or the ruins. 

Leah pointed at one of the cocoons. “This happens to me? Kill me. Please.”

Elissa grimaced. “Seconded.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure there will be something much worse ready to kill us deeper in the ruins,” Zevran said. He cut open one of the cocoons with his dagger, then stuck his arm in elbow-deep.

“Ew, Zevran! Get your hand out of there!” Leah exclaimed. 

He clucked his tongue. “You are too squeamish. These unfortunate souls left good loot behind, we would be fools to let it sit here for another millennia.” His hand emerged again holding a coin purse, a ring and a health potion. “See?”

“That’s disgusting. Enjoy your spider-web-corpse-juice treasure,” Leah said.

As they descended another set of stairs deeper in the ruins, they heard a loud rumbling growl. 

“Did you hear that?” Wynne asked. 

“Hard to miss,” Alistair said. “There’s something ahead. Something big.”

“Way bigger than a werewolf,” Leah said. 

“By the smell, I’d say we are approaching its lair,” Zevran added. 

At the bottom of the stairs, they entered a large room with a round mosaic in the center. There were more tree roots winding their way through the stone, and large piles of dirt that had broken through the walls and poured into the room. 

Zevran held an arm out to stop the group. “There are more of these damned traps. Wait a moment while I disarm them.” He muttered to himself in Antivan as he worked around the mosaic. 

When he gave them the go-ahead and they stepped inside the circle, a dragon swooped down in front of them and roared. 

“I think you missed one,” Leah shouted to Zevran.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be a proper ancient ruin without a dragon taking up residence,” Elissa said. 

With the entire group focused together on the dragon, it didn’t take long to defeat it and they emerged from the fight with little more than a few scratches and burns from the dragon’s fire.

Afterwards they explored the room to look for more traps and treasure. Zevran wandered past the mounds of dirt and plants that divided the room, then gave a low whistle. 

“What is it?” Elissa asked.

The rest of the party followed her to Zevran.

“Now that is a thing of beauty. A dragon’s hoard,” he said. 

“That’s a lot of gold…” Leah was in awe. 

“It’s a lot of everything,” Zevran said. “Fill your pockets, my friends.”

They loaded their bags with gold and loot and moved on. Another set of stairs led them to the lower level of the ruins and presumably, closer to finding the werewolf lair. 

As they descended, the spirit of an elven boy appeared before them. He called out in another language, then ran. When Elissa tried to pursue him she almost ran straight into three undead skeletons who were ready for battle. 

Once the skeletons were defeated, the party discovered a collapsed corridor ahead and turned east. This led to another large room with a mosaic at the center. The boy Elissa saw earlier walked around, calling out to what they could only assume was his mother. Elissa tried to speak with him, and he ran once again, leaving more undead skeletons behind him. 

While they looted room, Elissa gave a surprised “Oh!”

“What is it?” Alistair asked. 

“Look at this,” she turned from the sarcophagus she had opened. “It’s a tablet with instructions for a ritual on it.”

“What kind of ritual?” Wynne asked, her voice wary.

“I’m not sure, but it involves some water, a jug and an altar.”

“It could lead to more treasure,” Zevran mused. 

“Or more skeletons,” Leah said in a grim voice. “You did find it in a sarcophagus after all.”

“Or maybe it could help these spirits be at peace,” Elissa suggested.

“Let’s examine the odds here,” Leah said. “Out of everything we’ve found in this ruin, how much has been touchy-feely positive and how much has been monsters trying to kill us?”

“You are so cynical,” Zevran raised an eyebrow. “You are probably right, of course.”

Elissa frowned. “I’m still keeping the tablet. Perhaps we can do some good here.”

Almost as if the ruins were listening to Elissa’s thoughts, the next room they discovered had a fountain in the center with a jug submerged in the water. 

“A-ha!” she said and pointed. “The ritual!”

“Alright,” Alistair said. “Do your ritual, if you must.”

Leah unsheathed her sword. “Better safe than sorry,” she mumbled. 

Elissa took the earthen jug out of the water, making sure it was filled. She carried it to an altar on one side of the room and placed the jug. She kneeled before the altar, then rose and took a sip of water. She picked up the jug again and returned to the fountain, where she poured out the rest of the water. The jug shattered, and they all heard the rough grating sound of a door opening. 

“It’s over there,” Alistair pointed, his sword now drawn too.

Vindicated, Elissa walked into the room without drawing her own weapon. Inside there was a raised platform in the center, a sarcophagus in each corner, and more statues and carvings all around the sides. As expected, they discovered more skeletons at the back of the room. 

“Shocking!” Leah teased Elissa. “I’m so surprised. Are you surprised?”

“Oh do shut up,” Elissa muttered.

After they defeated the skeletons, they moved towards the raised platform. There was another ghost, this time a woman that easily could have been the ghost boy’s mother. 

“What’s wrong?” Elissa asked her. “Are you trapped here, spirit?”

The ghost became agitated, and summoned shadowy monstrous figures from the ground to attack the party. When the fight was over, Elissa looted the nearby sarcophagus for a strong, heavy chestpiece. 

“I guess it’s something, right?” she sounded disappointed. 

“These ghosts… this happened a long time ago, Elissa,” Leah said. “You couldn’t have saved them or helped them.”

“I suppose you’re right,” she sighed. “Let’s keep going.”

They continued through the ruins until they found a new room at the bottom of some stairs. It was small, but also had an altar to one side. As the group explored the room, Leah’s eye caught an item at the base of a statue.

She picked it up. It had a gem-like structure and was filled with a dark red liquid that appeared to be blood. Leah could feel the item vibrate in her hand.

“What is this?” she asked the others.

“Oh my,” Wynne said. “That appears to be a phylactery of some kind. The essence of a mage, kept magically preserved. If that were all it is, however, I would be surprised.”

“Huh,” Leah said. She examined the gem further, and as she touched it she felt how warm it was. In an instant her mind swam with visions, images and memories from someone else’s life. “Shit, there’s someone in here. Like a… spirit or something.”

She could feel a presence in the gem, and it was alarmed at her touch. The images she began to see were ones of imprisonment and loneliness. Leah could sympathize with that, and the presence sensed it.

_Who are you? What are you?_ She thought.

The spirit was bewildered. More images flashed through Leah’s mind. It had been there for a very long time, trapped within the gem. It had slept, gone mad, and then slept again. It didn’t give her a name, but she got the sense that long ago, it was an elven mage in glittering silver armor. 

_What is this place, what happened here?_

The spirit had to take time to think, as if it didn’t remember very well. Leah saw a place of serenity, where the eldest among the elves went to slumber and be visited by those who offered tribute to the gods on their behalf. The spirit’s memories of what happened at the ruins was uncertain. There were flashes of violence and war from long ago.

Leah winced at the grueling images. 

“Are you alright?” Elissa asked, alarmed. 

“I’m fine,” she said. “The spirit is communicating with me. Hold on, let me finish talking to it.”

_Was this a war with the humans?_ Leah asked.

The spirit remembered the humans. It lived in a time even after the humans had come. It was they who had built this place, long before. It thought that the war might have been with other humans, but it might have been something else, something that killed both the humans and elves that were here. It wasn’t clear. 

_Then how did you end up in this gem?_

Leah saw images of a great battle, with elves and humans both screaming and attempting to flee from some terrible presence. The spirit fled the destruction by using the gem, escaping its body. It was sure that someone would come to rescue it, but no one did. Not until now.

_How do I know you aren’t a demon, tricking me?_

Leah saw faint images of a mage holding the gem and chanting in an unknown language. This was the only thing the spirit could show her, and it knew of no other way to prove it to her.

_So you were once a mage?_

She saw more images of the elf in silver armor. It was both a mage and a warrior. The name for the order he belonged to translated in her mind to “Arcane Warrior.”

_What is that, exactly?_

Leah saw images of an order of elven mages who channel their spells into their strength. The spirit offered to give her what knowledge remains within it of how to become an Arcane Warrior. In return, the spirit asked only one thing from her: oblivion. 

_How would I give you this?_

The images the spirit gave her were faint and uncertain. She saw a stone altar, and the gem placed upon that altar. The gem then vibrated and exploded, destroying the spirit within forever. The yearning that followed this image was keen and almost hopeless.

Leah felt a wetness on her cheeks. When she wiped it away with her hand, she realized she was crying. 

_You could teach me to become an Arcane Warrior?_

The spirit became desperate. It offered to give her what memories it has, but clarified that whoever follows this path will be the last of its order. 

_Okay, I will try to help you._

The images from the spirit became tinged with desperation. It didn’t remember where the altar was, just that the gem must be placed on it. 

Leah approached the stone altar in the room with the gem in hand. As she did so, the spirit in the gem became overcome with emotion. It asked her clearly whether she still wished to learn the skills of the Arcane Warrior.

_Yes, please give me your memories._

The spirit’s memories flooded into her mind. They were hazy and incomplete, but enough for a mage to learn a few of the talents that the Arcane Warriors once possessed. 

After, the spirit asked her to keep her promise and release it from its eternal prison. 

Leah placed the gem on the stone altar. The late images she saw were ones of joy. 

An electric charge rushed through the altar, and the gem exploded. When Leah emerged from her connection with the gem, the party was besieged by more undead skeletons. 

“What was that?” Elissa asked her after the fight.

“A really long story,” Leah said. “But based on what this spirit said, I think there really were humans and elves living together in these ruins. There was… something else that attacked them both. I’m not sure what. I also now have some memories that will help mages become something called ‘Arcane Warriors?’ I think we can wait until we get back to camp for that, though.”

“Maker’s breath,” Elissa said. “I’m glad you’re alright. Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

The party made their way through more and more enemies before they finally discovered the entrance to the werewolf lair. By then they were all exhausted and eager to finish things.

After fighting a large group of werewolves, they met with the wolves that had been at the very entrance to the ruins. 

“Stop! Brothers and sisters, be at ease!” the lead werewolf said to its brethren. “We do not wish any more of our people hurt. I ask you this now, outsider: are you willing to parley?”

“We're talking right now, aren't we? So talk,” Elissa said. 

“Not with me. I have been sent to you on behalf of the Lady. She believes that you may not be aware of everything you should be. She means you no harm, provided your willingness to parley in peace is an honest one.”

Elissa nodded. “Then take me to this Lady.”

“Follow me. But I warn you, if you break your promise and harm her, I will come back from the Fade itself to see you pay.”

They followed the werewolf into a new room. It was once again filled with tree roots, but also much more leaves and greenery than the rest of the ruins. More werewolves lined the walls, snarling and growling at the party. Then a female figure emerged. She had long straight hair, black eyes and vines growing up her limbs. The beasts were instantly calmed by her presence. 

“I bid you welcome, mortal. I am the Lady of the Forest,” she said. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Elissa said, getting to the point.

“No doubt you have questions, mortal. There are things that Zathrian has not told you.”

“Is that so? Such as?”

“It was Zathrian who created the curse that these creatures suffer, the same curse that Zathrian's own people now suffer,” the Lady of the Forest explained. “Centuries ago, when the Dalish first came to this land, a tribe of humans lived close to this forest. They sought to drive the Dalish away. Zathrian was a young man then. He had a son and daughter he loved greatly, and while out hunting the human tribe captured them both.”

Swiftrunner growled. “The humans tortured the boy, killed him. The girl they raped and left for dead. The Dalish found her, but she learned later she was with child. She... killed herself.” 

“So that’s why Zathrian cursed them?” Elissa asked. 

“He came to this ruin and summoned a terrible spirit, binding it to the body of a great wolf. So Witherfang came to be,” Swiftrunner said. “Witherfang hunted the humans of the tribe. Many were killed, but others were cursed by his blood, becoming twisted and savage creatures... “

“Twisted and savage just as Witherfang himself is,” the Lady said. “They were driven into the forest. When the human tribe finally left for good, their cursed brethren remained, pitiful and mindless animals.”

“Until I found you, my lady. You gave me peace,” Swiftrunner said to her. 

She gave him a sympathetic look. “I showed Swiftrunner that there was another side to his bestial nature. I soothed his rage, and his humanity emerged. And he brought others to me.” 

“So that’s why you ambushed the Dalish, for revenge,” Elissa crossed her arms. 

The Lady gave a slight nod. “In part. We seek to end the curse. The crimes committed against Zathrian's children were grave, but they were committed centuries ago by those who are long dead. Word was sent to Zathrian every time the landships passed this way, asking him to come, but he has always ignored us. We will no longer be denied.”

Swiftrunner growled. “We spread the curse to his people! So he must end the curse to save them!”

“Please mortal, you must go to him. Bring him here. If he sees these creatures, hears their plight, surely he will agree to end the curse!” the Lady said.

Elissa took a deep breath while she thought. “All right,” she said after a few moments. “I will bring Zathrian.”

“Tell him if he refuses, I will ensure that Witherfang is never found,” the Lady of the Forest said. “He will never cure his clan. Outside of this chamber, the passage leading back to the surface has been opened for you. Return with Zathrian as soon as you can.” She gestured towards a door off to their left.

Elissa turned to the rest of the party and gestured for them to follow her. As they exited they passed a great number of werewolves who stood motionless and silent. Leah found the sight unnerving and far more alarming than the beasts actively attacking. 

As the walked she thought about the conversation ahead of them. She was pessimistic about their ability to convince Zathrian to return and speak with the Lady. Elissa could be very persuasive, but now that they knew the truth about the circumstances under which the curse was created, Leah wasn’t sure what to expect. If she were in his place, she wouldn’t risk her life on the word of a stranger who wanted to march her straight into her enemy’s lair. She would stay as far away as possible.

They reached the upper level and removed the barricade from the door. When Elissa opened it, they were met with a surprising sight. 

“Zathrian?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party finishes their task for the Dalish, and Leah is forced to confront her feelings and fears about her growing intimacy with Zevran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We might all need hugs at the end of this chapter. I know Leah does, and I certainly do. And I'm the one who wrote it! It sucks to chase her up this tree, but it's all for very good reasons. 
> 
> This week has sucked a little for me, but Spring is here in the Chicago area and I've had my windows open all day. Nothing lasts forever: not Winter, not tax season, not hard times. So I guess I'll breathe the fresh air and wait. 
> 
> Whenever I open my draft of this story, I have a quote at the very top that I found somewhere in a Twitter thread, which is a variation on a Winston Churchill quote:
> 
> "The best thing to do when you’re in hell is to keep moving."
> 
> More often than not, it keeps me moving.
> 
> * * *

To their great surprise, when the party emerged on the upper level of the Brecilian ruins Zathrian was there waiting for them.

“Zathrian?” Elissa said.

“Ah. And here you are already,” he greeted them. 

“What are you doing here?” Elissa asked. 

“You have carved a safe path through the forest... safe enough for me to follow, anyhow. There was no way to tell what would happen once you reached this ruin, so I decided to come myself.” 

Elissa rubbed her forehead. “Perhaps it’s a good thing you did. We need to talk, Zathrian.”

“Yes, yes, there will be plenty of time for that,” he dismissed her. “Did you acquire the heart?”

She looked him in the eye. “No, I didn't.”

Zathrian raised an eyebrow. “May I ask, then, why you are leaving the ruin?”

“You knew about this place. Why didn't you tell me?” Elissa pressed him.

“There was no need. I knew that you would find it, and I did not care to give you a history lesson about things that have no bearing on your purpose here,” Zathrian spoke down to her. “But it seems the spirit convinced you to act on her behalf. Might I inquire what she wants?”

Elissa clenched her jaw, but said nothing about Zathrian’s comments. “She won't summon Witherfang unless you break the curse.”

He gave her a condescending look. “You do understand that she actually is Witherfang?” 

“Yes Zathrian, despite what you think I’m not stupid. I want an explanation,” Elissa demanded. 

The corner of Zathrian’s mouth twitched. “She is the powerful spirit of this ancient forest that I summoned long ago and bound in the body of the wolf. Her nature is that of the forest itself. Beautiful and terrible, serene and savage, maiden and beast. She is the Lady and Witherfang both, two sides of a single being. The curse came first from her. Those she afflicted with it mirrored her own nature, becoming savage beast as well as human.”

“But the werewolves have regained their minds,” Elissa said.

Zathrian scoffed at her. “I find that difficult to believe. They attacked my clan and they were the same savages then that they have ever been. They deserve to be wiped out and not defended. Come, I will accompany you back to the ruin. Let us go and speak to the spirit and I will force her into Witherfang's form. He may then be slain and the heart taken.”

“Then how do you explain a planned ambush if they’re only beasts?” Elissa argued. “I assure you, they have regained their minds.”

“They are still the same worthless creatures that their ancestors were,” Zathrian spat. “They deserve nothing more than the misery they possess. This is not your battle, Grey Warden. Let us just take the heart and be done with it.”

Elissa shook her head in disbelief. “Do you still have so much hatred after all this time?”

Zathrian’s voice rose. “You were not there. You did not see what they did to my son. To my daughter. And so many others. You are not Dalish. How can you know how we had to struggle to be safe? How could I have let their crimes go unanswered?”

“Those crimes were committed centuries ago, and the people who committed them are dead now Zathrian! How can you justify letting innocent people suffer?”

“I remember them as if it were yesterday,” Zathrian narrowed his eyes at her. “Even if they are more than animals now, they desire nothing but revenge. They will never let my clan be.” 

“So your answer is to let them suffer forever?” Elissa threw her hands up.

“If you held your own daughter's lifeless body in your arms would you not also have sworn an eternity of pain on those who did such to her?” Zathrian said in a menacing voice.

“Sure, I might have, but who is being punished now?” 

Zathrian turned away and paced, hands on his hips. After he calmed down he turned back to Elissa. “Very well. You wish me to go and talk? I will do so. But what if it is only more revenge they wish? Will you safeguard me from harm?”

Elissa nodded. “Yes, I will.”

“I fail to see the purpose behind this... but very well. It has been many centuries, now. Let us see what the spirit has to say,” Zathrian glanced over at the door the party had emerged from.

* * *

When they arrived back in the lair, the werewolves snarled and snapped at Zathrian as he passed.

“So here you are, spirit,” he said.

Swiftrunner, true to his name, was in Zathrian’s face before they could blink. He towered over the elven mage. “She is the Lady of the Forest! You will address her properly!”

Zathrian looked at the Lady with disdain. “You’ve taken a name, spirit? And you’ve given names to your pets? These… beasts who follow you?”

“It was they who gave me a name, Zathrian. And the names they take are their own. They follow me because I help them to find who they are,” the Lady said.

Zathrian glared at her and the werewolves. “Who they are has not changed from whom their ancestors were. Wild savages! Worthless dogs! Their twisted shape only mirrors their monstrous hearts!”

Leah looked at Elissa with wide eyes. “Worthless dogs?” she mouthed. 

Elissa just grimaced and shook her head. 

“He will not help us, Lady!” Swiftrunner snarled. “It is as I warned you! He is not here to talk!”

Zathrian dismissed Swiftrunner. “No, I am here to talk, though I see little point in it. We all know where this will lead. Your nature compels it, as does mine.”

“It does not have to be that way. There is room in your heart for compassion, Zathrian. Surely your retribution is spent,” the Lady said. 

“My retribution is eternal, spirit, as is my pain. This is justice, no more.”

“Are you certain your pain is the only reason you will not end this curse? Have you told the mortal how it was created?” The Lady turned to Elissa. 

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “He said he summoned you and bound you to a wolf.”

“And so he did. Witherfang and I are bound as one being. But such powerful magic could not be accomplished without Zathrian's own blood,” the Lady gave Zathrian a pointed look. 

Zathrian lowered his eyes, abashed.

“Your people believe you have rediscovered the immortality of their ancestors, Zathrian, but that is not true. So long as the curse exists, so do you.”

“Maker’s breath,” Elissa sighed. 

“Oh good, more blood magic, who knew?” Alistair quipped. 

Leah looked at Zathrian with disgust. “Your people look up to you. They hold you up as an example of what they might accomplish. But it’s all a lie.”

“No! That is not how it is!” Zathrian protested. 

Elissa turned back to the Lady of the Forest. “So would Zathrian's death end the curse?”

The Lady shook her head. “No. The curse has a life of its own, though Zathrian's life depends on it. His death plays a part in its ending, however.”

“Then we kill him! We tear him apart now!” Swiftrunner growled.

“For all your powers of speech, you are beasts still! What would you gain from killing me? Only I know how the ritual ends, and I will never do it!” Zathrian said. 

“You see? We must kill them all!” Swiftrunner said.

Zathrian turned to Elissa. “See? They turn on you as quickly. Do what you have come here to do, Grey Warden, or get out of my way.”

“I don't care, Zathrian. I won't help you do this,” Elissa crossed her arms. 

“We're standing for what's right, here. No matter what,” Alistair added. 

Zathrian took a few steps back. “Then you die with them! All of you will suffer as you deserve!”

He cast a spell that paralyzed Witherfang and the werewolves, then summoned trees to attack the party. Leah had only taken two steps before one of the trees thrust its arms into the ground and sent its twisting branches bursting up beneath her feet. The branches wrapped around her in a tight trap that made it hard to breathe.

“I’d love a fire spell right about now,” she wheezed.

The branches released her and she felt to the ground on one knee, gasping. 

Elissa and Alistair were focused on fighting Zathrian. To his credit, the mage held his own. But two Grey Wardens attacking at the same time were hard to beat, and he was forced to concede defeat. He fell to one knee clutching his staff. 

“No, no more. I... I cannot defeat you…” he said through heavy breaths. 

“Finish it! Kill him now!” Swiftrunner demanded. 

The Lady of the Forest held him back. “No, Swiftrunner. We will not kill him. If there is no room in our hearts for mercy, how may we expect there to be room in his?”

Zathrian face twisted in grief. “I cannot do as you ask, spirit. I am too old to know mercy. All I see are the faces of my children, my people. I... I cannot do it.”

“Hasn't this gone on long enough, Zathrian?” Elissa asked. 

“Perhaps I have lived too long,” he admitted. “This hatred in me is like an ancient, gnarled root. It has consumed my soul.” He turned to the Lady. “What of you, spirit? You are bound to the curse just as I am. Do you not fear your end?

“You are my maker, Zathrian. You gave me form and consciousness where none existed. I have known pain and love, hope and fear, all the joy that is life. Yet of all things I desire nothing more than an end. I beg you, maker... put an end to me. We beg you... show mercy.”

Zathrian hung his head. “You shame me, spirit. I am an old man, alive long past his time.” 

“Then you will do it? You will end the curse?”

Zathrian rose to his feet. “Yes, I think it is time. Let us put an end to it all.”

The Lady of the Forest turned to Swiftrunner and laid a hand on his arm. When she was ready, she nodded to Zathrian. He slammed the bottom of his staff down and a bright light burst forth from it. He collapsed on the ground. The werewolves crowded in around the Lady, each in turn placing a paw on one of her shoulders as a gesture of farewell. Then she too erupted into a blinding light. In the circle where the werewolves stood, the released magic shimmered and rose into the air. The werewolves shone with their own light as they transformed back into humans. When the transformation was complete, they looked down at their human bodies in joy and relief. They embraced each other and almost forgot all about the others in the room. 

Eventually, the man who had been Swiftrunner approached them. “It’s over. She’s gone and we’re human. I can scarcely believe it.”

Elissa smiled. “I can't even imagine. I'm relieved for all of you. What are you going to do now?”

“We'll leave the forest, I suppose,” the man said. “Find other humans, see what's out there for us. It should be quite interesting, don't you think?”

“I should expect so,” Elissa chuckled. “We’ll head back to the Dalish camp, then.”

“Oh, of course. They're going to wonder why their wounded are recovering. And they'll want to know that Zathrian is dead. Thank you. We... we'll never forget you.” The former werewolves ran out of the ruins.

* * *

Back at the Dalish camp, Leah returned the ironbark she had collected to Varathorn and asked if he would make them a sword. While he worked, she watched as Elissa and Alistair spoke with Lanaya. It couldn’t be easy to hear that your mentor, your savior, had kept such secrets.

By the time their business with the Dalish was finished, the sword was done as well. Leah met back up with Elissa, Alistair, Wynne and Zevran and they walked back to camp.

* * *

After they had set aside the loot and supplies they had gathered in the Brecilian Forest, Leah approached Zevran with the gloves she had purchased from Varathorn.

“Hey,” she said to get his attention. “I have something for you.” She held out the gloves.

Zevran raised an eyebrow. “Gloves? You’re giving me gloves? What for?”

“‘What for?’” she said and gave short laugh. “Because I want to. They’re Dalish gloves. Like your mother’s.”

Zevran hesitated, but he took the gloves and inspected them. “I… Maker’s breath, you’re right. They are like my mother’s. The leather was less thick, and it had more embroidery… but these are very close. And quite handsome.”

“You’re welcome,” Leah said with a smirk.

Zevran eyed her. “Do I seem surprised? Perhaps I am. Still, I appreciate the fact that you even thought of me. No one has simply… given me a gift before. Thank you.”

Leah toned down her sarcasm. “I’m glad you like them. I saw them in Varathorn’s inventory and they reminded me so much of what you said about your mother… I wanted you to have some piece of that back.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Zevran looked over the gloves, then back up at Leah. “I’m not sure if I deserve that, but I am quite grateful all the same.”

Leah tilted her head. “I think we’re all the worst judges of what we actually deserve. Seems to matter more what we do with what we’re given.”

“Hmm. Beautiful, compassionate and wise. You continue to surprise me.” Zevran smiled. 

Leah shook her head. “And you continue to deflect serious conversations with shallow compliments.”

“Quite the opposite. I mean what I said with the utmost sincerity.”

“Alright, if you say so,” Leah gave a sly smile. “See you later.” She walked away to start sorting out their inventory.

* * *

Elissa and Alistair had exhausted the allies the Grey Warden treaties afforded them. They decided to travel back to Redcliffe to speak with Arl Eamon. While there he encouraged them to continue on to Denerim to call the Landsmeet. He assured them that if they defeated Loghain there, the rest of the nation would follow. They packed up their motley crew of companions once more and set their sights on Denerim.

One morning after she and Zevran had slept together, Leah stepped out of her tent half-awake to find Elissa, Alistair and Leliana standing around staring at her. 

“...Hello?” She mumbled, still groggy from sleep. 

“So… you and Zevran?” Elissa asked. 

That woke Leah up a little more. “Good morning to you, too. Me and Zevran what?”

“Well, you are sleeping together, right?”

Leah groaned. “Can we have this conversation when I’m more awake? Where is he, by the way?”

“I sent him off to gather firewood with Wynne,” Elissa said.

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Alistair asked. 

“Collecting firewood? Yes, we’re running low,” Leah said.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he said.

Leah turned on him, her lingering sleepiness making her cranky. “Do you really think it’s any of your business?” She walked over to their rations, hoping for something to clear her head. “How did you find out, anyway?”

“Yes, it is a mystery seeing as how the tents are so sound-proof.” Alistair’s sarcasm grated on her. 

“Oh yeah? Then you must have been experiencing some temporary deafness before this because we’ve been sleeping together for weeks.”

“Oh, I’ve known for quite some time,” Leliana said. She nodded her head towards Alistair and Elissa and gave a sly smile. “The two of them have been… distracted. By their own affairs.”

Elissa reddened and rubbed her neck. “Oh Maker…”

“See? So why is this even an issue?” Leah said to Alistair.

“Do you actually trust him? We still don’t know what his real motives are for joining with us,” he pressed her.

“I trust him to be good in bed,” Leah retorted. “And you should give him more credit. He’s fought by your side and done nothing but help us since you picked him up.”

“I had no idea you felt that way about him,” Elissa said, more sensitive than Alistair was being. “You didn’t say anything.”

“You think we’re ‘involved’ or something? It’s just sex, Elissa. Is that what you’re worried about?”

“‘Just sex?’” Alistair repeated. “Are you really as shallow as he is?”

“Wow,” Leah said. “Do you always come out swinging with insults first thing in the morning? For your information, I’m not. But the last man I felt something for died in front of me in Castle Cousland.” She glared at Alistair.

He frowned and looked away. “I’m sorry, but—”

“No, with all the shit going on, I’m going to take the opportunity to indulge my physical needs if I can. I’m not looking for true love or a soulmate or anything like that. You need to get over your fairy tale romance and acknowledge that some of us just want to get our rocks off and forget about the darkness and death and chaos around us once in a while.”

Elissa pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. “Leah...”

Leah sighed and wiped her face. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m not at my best when I’ve just woken up. But I’m serious. It’s nothing to worry about. Just let us have our fun.”

“Alright. If you say so,” Elissa said. 

Alistair didn’t look as convinced, but acquiesced when Elissa placed a hand on his arm and led him away. 

“Can I give you some advice?” Leliana said after they were no longer within earshot.

“Only if you have something to wake me up,” Leah replied. 

Leliana walked away for a moment and returned with some tea. 

Leah accepted the tea gladly. “There we go. What did you want to say?”

“I wouldn’t dismiss Zevran so easily,” Leliana said, her voice firm but gentle. “He may be casual and flirtatious, but that doesn’t mean he is emotionless. His vocation with the Crows has required certain… attitudes. But he has the potential to feel as much as anyone.”

Leah sipped the tea. “So what, you think he’s in love with me or something?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Not necessarily. But I think it would be irresponsible to ignore the possibility. Even if he doesn’t feel that way now, it doesn’t mean he never will. If you haven’t discussed your intentions with him, I think you should.” Leliana knew how to cut to the point and be diplomatic about it at the same time. 

Leah thought as the tea warmed and woke her. She sighed and put her cup down, clasping her hands together. “I really thought we were on the same page. He didn’t seem the type.”

“You may be,” Leliana said, shrugging. “I can’t say. I just know that it’s a mistake to assume you know what a man like him is thinking. When your duty requires manipulation, seduction, misdirection; hiding your emotions becomes instinctive.”

“You know this from experience?” Leah looked up at her. 

Leliana smiled. “I’m a bard from Orlais, of course I do.”

“I’ll think about what you said,” Leah replied after a moment. “Maker, I thought I could avoid such complications.”

“Making love is almost never simple,” Leliana said, leaving Leah alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Leah considered Leliana’s advice the rest of the day. That evening, after the camp had eaten, she approached Zevran.

“Let’s take a walk,” she said, trying to keep her nerves steady as she gestured towards the forest.

He eyed her, but agreed. “If you’d like. Let’s walk.”

They traveled a ways from the camp in silence. He waited for her to talk first, but Leah had trouble thinking of how to start. After a few minutes she slowed and stopped, determined to get the conversation over with before they walked half of Ferelden. 

“Look, I—”

Before she could start, Zevran took her by the hand and pulled her into his arms. He stopped her mid-sentence with a long, deep kiss, then backed her against a nearby tree. “Did you want me out here so the rest of our companions would not hear us?” he asked, running his hands up her torso and nuzzling into her neck.

“Zevran…” Leah groaned, enjoying the sensations but trying to remind herself why she had asked him to accompany her.

“Mmm, say it again.” He moved his lips to her ear, and ran his hands back down to her hips, pressing himself against her. 

“Zevran… Zevran, we need to talk,” Leah put her hands against his chest and tried to clear her head of the pleasure he was evoking.

He pulled back and looked at her. Seeing her sincerity, he stopped the seduction and stepped away. “Alright, what shall we talk about?”

Leah’s arms fell to her sides, and she sighed. “I’m worried. About us, what we’re doing.”

A small frown crossed his face. “What about it concerns you?”

“I’m worried we might want different things,” she said. “I started this thinking that it would just be physical. But if anything has changed, if you feel something more…”

Zevran shook his head, then gave her a half-smile and crossed his arms. “You think I am in love with you? Don’t get me wrong, I should be so lucky. Who has been filling your head with such things?”

She couldn’t tell if he was serious, or if he was hiding something. “That’s not exactly it,” she said quietly. “Or not all of it. Look, when we started sleeping together, it seemed like we both just wanted to enjoy each other while we could. That we didn’t even need to talk about it. But that was stupid of me, and not very fair to you. I should have said something.” She paused and rubbed the back of her neck. 

He shrugged. “You are saying something now. So tell me, what troubles you?”

“Zevran, my life is much more complicated than anyone knows. There are things I have to keep hidden away, and it means keeping everyone at arm’s length. In Highever I made the mistake of getting close to someone, of letting myself care about them in return, and I can’t risk doing that again. It will only make things worse in the long run.” She looked up and waited for his reaction.

He thought for a moment before responding. “I won’t lie, I do enjoy your company. You are an intriguing woman. But it’s not quite as dire as you seem to think. If you are concerned, perhaps it would be wise not to tempt fate.”

Leah stepped forward and pulled him to her again. “I don’t want to be wise. I want this to be simple and uncomplicated. I don’t want to worry about what might happen if you… or if I…” she trailed off.

Zevran wrapped his arms around her waist. “Then why make it complicated?” he took her chin in one hand, glanced down at her lips and back up into her eyes. 

Leah hesitated. She didn’t want to be having this conversation. She didn’t like the answer she found when she asked herself the same question. She didn’t want to be tempted, didn’t know if she’d be able to resist. She wanted to say: _You’re right, forget I said anything. How about you push me back up against that tree and have your way with me?_

“Because I’m just as worried about myself as I am about you. If I can’t promise that I’ll never want something more, how can I ask you to do the same?”

He exhaled. “That does sound like a difficult promise to make. I am sorry, my dear.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Leah said. She reluctantly pulled back from their embrace. “I wish I could give you more. If I weren’t so… broken. You deserve better.”

Zevran took her hands in his. “You’ve given me plenty. And I don’t see a broken woman standing before me. You know what you need and are telling me, there’s nothing broken about that.”

“That’s not the broken part.” Leah shook her head and looked down. “I can’t let you see that part, and that’s the problem. You can’t really be close with somebody if you won’t open up to them.” She looked back up at Zevran.

He nodded. “True. But please, do not berate yourself on my behalf. I have no regrets, and have enjoyed every minute of your company.” He kissed her hands and released them. “Come, let us return to camp.”

By the time they made it back, it was late and most of their companions were already in their tents. When they reached Leah’s, Zevran squeezed her hand without a word and walked away. 

Despite his reassurances, Leah went to sleep hating herself for not being smarter. She hoped she hadn’t disappointed him as much as she had disappointed herself, but wondered if she wasn’t lucky enough for that to be true.

* * *

A couple days after her conversation with Zevran, Leah walked off into the woods to practice her swordplay alone. She hoped it would distract her, but it seemed to only spur her mind on further. Eventually she gave up and sat down on a nearby rock.

She hadn’t been sitting long when Elissa tiptoed into the clearing. 

“I hope I’m not intruding,” she said.

Leah looked up. “No,” she said in a dejected tone. “Being alone didn’t really help, so you’re fine.”

Elissa sat down next to her. “Are you alright?”

She gave a harsh laugh. “I’m the one who ended it, right? I should be fine.”

“It wasn’t just about the sex, was it?” Elissa asked gently. “Did he take it badly?”

Leah grimaced. “He took it just fine. Me, on the other hand…” she sighed. “I feel like an idiot. I should have known better. I keep wanting these connections with people, but I can’t afford to be close with anyone.”

“Why not?” Elissa placed a hand on Leah’s arm, forcing her to turn towards her. “You deserve happiness. Maybe Zevran wasn’t going to be the love of a lifetime, but what’s so wrong about being close? Even for a little while?”

Leah shook her head. “I just can’t. It’s a luxury I don’t have.”

“I don’t understand. Does this have something to do with your memory loss?”

“Yes,” Leah choked out after a moment. “Yes, it does. I can’t make any promises to anyone. I can’t assure them of a future, even in the short term.” She turned to Elissa. “Hypothetically, what if I found out I was somebody completely different? What if I was from someplace very far away, and knowing that meant I had to go back there? What if I couldn’t bring the person I care about with me? That would be cruel to both of us.”

Elissa furrowed her brow. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re suggesting.”

Leah sighed and tried to think of a better example. “Okay, what if I found out I was royalty from some far off land, and I was already engaged to someone else? Or what if I was a criminal, and they dragged me back to prison? Or worse, they took me back to be executed?”

“No,” Elissa closed her eyes and held a hand up. “I mean yes, that would be horrible and heartbreaking. But whatever you were before, it doesn’t matter! You’re a good person Leah, and you have the right to choose your future.”

Leah licked her lips. “Okay, then what if I found out my past and it was something wonderful? Something I would do anything to have back, but it meant giving up everyone I cared about? Friends and lovers. If it meant getting back something I longed for deep in my soul?”

“Then anyone who truly cared about you would understand and be happy for you.” Elissa grasped Leah’s hands. “It still doesn’t mean you can’t be happy now too. You might never find out where you came from. Do you want to spend the rest of your life pushing people away and wondering ‘what if?’” She shook her head. “That’s no way to live.”

These were the exact things Leah had been asking herself. The implications either way made he heart sink. That combined with the worried, sympathetic look in Elissa’s eyes finally broke Leah’s resolve. She started crying, and Elissa pulled her into her arms. 

“Is that what you’ve been torturing yourself with all this time?” Elissa finally said. “If there’s anything I’ve learned since that night Howe attacked Highever, it’s that you will never know what’s around the corner. You have to love people while you can. Our time here is short. Some shorter than others.” She pulled away and frowned.

“What do you mean?” Leah wiped her eyes. 

Elissa hesitated. “I’m not supposed to talk about this with others, and I don’t say this in an attempt to eclipse your sadness, but… being a Grey Warden is apparently a short life. When we’re initiated, there’s a ritual and… suffice it to say, if the job of battling darkspawn doesn’t take my life, then the consequences of that ritual will. I have thirty years, give or take. Probably less, since there is a Blight and interacting with darkspawn lessens that lifespan.”

“Oh Elissa,” Leah said. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not,” she smiled sadly. “Being a Grey Warden has been an incredible privilege. I would do anything to protect Thedas. And because of it, I met Alistair,” she sighed. “That’s how I know that you have to take your happiness when and where you can. Yes, maybe something will happen in the future that will take you away from here, but what if it doesn’t? What if you losing your memory and ending up in Highever leads you just where you’re supposed to be? What if it leads you to your greatest joy? Please promise me you won’t miss that opportunity when it comes.”

Leah took a deep breath. “That’s a serious request to make of someone who has become an expert at not making promises.”

“It certainly is,” Elissa agreed. 

“Okay,” Leah said after a few seconds. 

“Oh no, you have to do better than that!”

Leah smiled. “I promise that if I have a chance to be happy, I will not let it pass me by.”

“Good,” Elissa nodded and sniffled. “Then no matter what happens in the future, I will hold you to that promise and come thrash you if you break it.”

“I wouldn’t dare draw the ire of a legendary Grey Warden,” Leah teased her. “Especially a Cousland. I hear they’re fierce warriors.”

“In love and friendship as much as in battle,” Elissa raised her chin. “Will you come back to camp with me now?”

Leah nodded, and the two women walked out of the woods arm in arm


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party returns to Denerim to prepare for the Landsmeet with Arl Eamon, but find themselves needing to rescue Loghain's daughter Anora, Ferelden's queen, from Arl Howe's estate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is running a little late, with good reason. The past week I was either too sick or too busy or too stressed to do very much. In fact, I finished it off this afternoon while waiting for my car to get repaired at the mechanic. 
> 
> So with all this time on my hands (and a hefty bill I absolutely didn't need) I'm glad to finally put this out! There's some closure, some combat, and Leah's starting to navigate a complex and twisty thread that will carry on for quite some time. Figuring out who she might be in this strange new world, who she could be for other people, and what it all might mean for her future. 
> 
> Thank you for the reads, the kudos, the everything! Here's to a new and hopefully less eventful week.

Once they reached Denerim, Leah again opted to spend time in the market and shops to trade out their old equipment and replenish supplies. Despite Zevran’s reassurances and Elissa’s support, she still felt disheartened about what had happened. It was easier to push it aside and occupy her mind with mundane tasks rather than confront her feelings. 

As she admired some clothing in one merchant’s stall in the market, an idea formed in her head. She approached the woman running the stall. 

“The garments you have here are very eye-catching. I haven’t seen colors like this anywhere else. Do you dye them yourself?” Leah asked.

“You’ve a good eye, miss,” the woman said. “Yes, I dye the fabric and sew each and every item you see here. Is there something special you’re looking for? Something a little…” she looked Leah’s armor up and down. “Less practical?”

Leah chuckled. “Not quite. I’m more interested in the dye, actually.”

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Why, may I ask?”

“Don’t worry,” Leah assured her. “I’m not interested in competing with you. I’m wondering if it can be made for other purposes besides clothing.”

“Hmm,” the woman eyed her. “Well, in that case I’ll have to point you towards the gentleman over there.” She nodded towards a spectacled man on the opposite side of the square. “He provides me with the dye. Has his own special concoctions. Makes potions too, if you’ve a need.”

Leah grinned. “Perfect. Thank you,” she dropped a few coins into the woman’s hand.

“Anytime, love,” she murmured. 

As she got closer to the man’s stall she saw a variety of glass bottles in every possible color. He had a separate table with vials and tubes that reminded her very much of something she would have seen in a laboratory back home. It looked promising. 

“Hello,” she called out.

“Greetings, greetings,” the man said. “What can I do for you, messere? Stocking up on elfroot and stamina potions?”

Leah tilted her head. “Yes, actually. But I wanted to ask you about your dyes as well.”

“Oh?” He pushed his spectacles up his nose. “You don’t strike me as a dressmaker or a tailor. May I ask what you would like the dye for? It might be important you see, not every fabric takes a dye the same! I can make custom concoctions perfect for any application!”

“That’s just what I was hoping to hear,” Leah grinned. “What is your name, if I may ask?”

“Albertus, messere. Bert, if you please. And you are…?”

“My name’s Leah. Bert, I have a… unique request,” she said. “I’m hoping you’re up to the challenge.”

“You don’t say? Well of course, for the right coin there is no challenge I cannot meet! What do you need?”

“Can you make a dye as vibrant as these, but for hair?” Leah asked. She watched for his reaction. She had not seen anything in Thedas like the hair dye they had back home, but she was in the mood for a change.

“Hair? Human hair?” Bert stroked his chin. “That would be… I mean I would have to… it would require a very different…” He paced and muttered to himself. 

Leah was patient and watched as the gears turned in Bert’s head. 

Bert stopped and snapped his fingers. “Yes! I have an idea. I’ll need to experiment of course. This is unlike anything I’ve ever created, anything I’ve ever seen, but if it works…” He looked over at her. “This could be lucrative. It would require an investment. If you’re willing to put up the coin, I would be happy to share some of the profits.”

“How much coin?” Leah asked.

Bert frowned and waved a hand around as he thought. “Several sovereigns, I’m afraid. I’d need to purchase extra supplies, some hair to experiment on… but once I have the recipe down, we’d make a profit in no time! Nobles and royalty would be clamoring to create their own unique hues! In Orlais we could make a hundred times that in a single week, I’d wager!”

Leah winced. “That’s very expensive. How sure are you that you can nail this?”

“Very sure!” Bert nodded. “No one in all of Ferelden is half as brilliant as I am. My mind is exploding with ideas already. I assure you messere, your trust— and your money— will not be misplaced.”

Leah crossed her arms and pretended to think. “Several sovereigns. I mean what is that, seven? Eight? I don’t think I have more than five right now.”

“Six, messere! I think six will be plenty. And I will split the profits with you seventy to thirty.” Bert said.

“Sixty to forty,” Leah narrowed her eyes. 

Bert grinned. “Sixty-five to thirty-five and you never have to pay for another dye as long as I live.”

“What happens to the recipe when… well, after that?” Leah asked. 

“It goes to you, messere. To bestow on whomever you deem worthy. Is that a fair deal?”

Leah smirked. “Deal. I’ll give you four sovereigns now, and the other two when I receive the dye.” She took the four sovereigns out of her personal coin stash and handed it to him. “I’d like an emerald green to start with, Bert.”

“My pleasure, messere!” Bert accepted the coin with glee. “Oh, this is exciting! I haven’t concocted a new recipe in so long. How might I find you when it’s ready?”

“I’m staying at the Arl of Redcliffe’s estate. You can find me there,” Leah said.

“Very good!” Bert bowed to her. “Thank you messere, I will get to work on this right away!”

* * *

After she was finished in the market, Leah found herself in front of the alienage, staring at the gates. They were barred, and there were men guarding the area who would not let anyone through.

In her peripheral vision, Leah saw Elissa, Alistair, Wynne and Leliana approach. 

“They say the elves are suffering from a blight-related sickness. They’ve stopped anyone from going in or out,” Leah said when the party grew near.

“That’s horrible,” Elissa said, then sighed. “Unfortunately, we have a bigger problem at the moment.”

“Bigger than people dying in quarantine?” Leah turned to her.

Elissa looked up at Leah, then away. “It will be if Anora dies. Loghain met with us at Eamon’s estate. He was… horrid.”

“At least he acknowledged the ‘royal’ part of my royal bastardry.” Alistair quipped. 

Elissa scowled. “He treated us like dirt. Like we were nothing. Accused us of turning against Cailan. The gaul of that man, I can’t even—”

Leah held a hand up. “I’m very confused. Who is Anora and what does that have to do with Loghain?”

“Anora is Loghain’s daughter, and Cailan’s wife,” Elissa explained. “She’s Ferelden’s queen. But her handmaiden says she is imprisoned at the Arl of Denerim’s estate. That they’ve discussed how she would make a better ally dead than alive.”

“And who is the Arl of Denerim?” Leah asked.

Elissa clenched her jaw. “Arl Howe.”

Leah’s pulse quickened. “You don’t say,” she uttered in a low voice. 

“We need to find her and get her out of there,” Elissa said. “She may be a valuable ally at this point. The country loves her, and she’s aware of some duplicity amongst her father and Howe,”

“I’m sorry, all I heard was that we’d get to slit Howe’s throat,” Leah said.

“I didn’t say that.” Elissa raised an eyebrow. 

“Didn’t you?” Leah clucked her tongue. “I must have some kind of condition where I hear my darkest dreams come true. Shame.”

“I didn’t say we wouldn’t, either.” Elissa gave a wry smile. 

“Well I’m feeling lucky, how about you?” Leah’s hand twitched for the hilt of her sword at the mere thought of killing Howe.

Elissa grinned and nodded. “Let’s see if we can press that luck until it bleeds.”

Leah smirked. “Now you’re speaking my language.”

* * *

After a brief stop at Arl Eamon’s estate to regroup, Elissa and Alistair made a plan to rescue Anora. The task required a degree of duplicity and might end in a less than ethical way if they met with Howe, so Elissa chose to ask Morrigan and Zevran to accompany her, Alistair and Leah.

In the middle of their trek to Howe’s estate they were stopped by a rogue with short dark hair with several men at his back. 

“So here is the mighty Grey Warden at long last,” he said. “The Crows send their greetings, once again.”

“Indeed?” Elissa said, and briefly glanced back at Zevran. “Your greetings generally aren’t as cordial as we expect here in Ferelden.”

The man chuckled. “I could have simply killed you, is that not ‘cordial’ enough for you?”

Leah looked over at Zevran. His eyes were locked on the man and his expression was grim. 

He moved forward to stand beside Elissa. “So they sent you, Taliesen? Or did you volunteer for the job?”

Taliesen smirked. “I volunteered of course. When I heard that the great Zevran had gone rogue, I simply had to see it for myself.”

“Is that so?” Zevran had an edge in his voice. “Well here I am, in the flesh.”

“You can return with me, Zevran. I know why you did this, and I don’t blame you. It’s not too late. Come back and we’ll make up a story. Anyone can make a mistake,” Taliesen said.

Leah couldn’t help herself. “He doesn’t need the Crows any more,” she blurted out. “He has us now.”

Elissa turned back to nod at Leah before facing Taliesen again. “She’s right. He’s one of us.”

“Oh?” Taliesen appeared amused, but it morphed into a cruel grin. “Does Zevran need to live?”

“I suspect I will manage just fine, Taliesen,” the elf answered. “I’m sorry my old friend. But the answer is no. I’m not coming back… and you should have stayed in Antiva.”

Taliesen narrowed his eyes. “Then your friends will die with you.”

Everyone drew their weapons and leapt into action. Leah left Taliesen to Elissa and Zevran and focused on the archers. Morrigan assisted her by freezing them, which helped Leah slay them quicker. Once they were finished, she helped Alistair with the other warriors. By then, Taliesen was weakened and on his knees. Elissa let Zevran have the final blow, and he buried one of his daggers in the man’s heart. 

The party came together once again. 

Zevran took one last look at Taliesen. “There it is. He is dead, and I am free of the Crows. They will assume that I am dead along with Taliesen. So long as I do not make my presence known to them, they will not seek me out.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Elissa asked.

Zevran looked up at her and gave a half smile. “A very good thing. It is, in fact, what I had hoped for ever since you decided not to kill me.” He sighed. “But I am wondering if it is not time for me to leave. That would be the practical thing to do, no? There is a freedom awaiting me that I have never known. I suppose the decision is yours. Will you let me go?”

Elissa took a deep breath. She glanced at Alistair and Leah in turn before responding. “Actually, I was hoping you would stay. I could use your help.”

Zevran didn’t miss where her eyes landed. “Do you? Hmm.” He looked down and thought. “I suppose there are worse things I could do with my time than save the world.”

Leah felt a surge of pride and gratitude. “Much worse,” she said. “And you can’t beat the company.”

Zevran smiled at her. “You have a point. Where else could I have an adventure alongside this many alluring companions?”

Elissa laughed. “But I ask that you stay willingly, as a friend. Your oath to me is fulfilled. What you do now is your choice. Right, Alistair?” She looked over at her fellow Grey Warden.

Alistair sighed. “Right,” he reluctantly agreed. “You’ve proved yourself many times over. Want to risk your life to help us fight back the forces of darkness?”

Zevran chuckled. “Who could resist such a request? Very well, I will not abandon you. Let us return to the task at hand, then. There is still much to be done, yes?”

Elissa gave him a wide smile. “Very much. Thank you.”

* * *

The party met Erlina outside the Arl of Denerim’s estate. There was a crowd gathered outside the main entrance, so they moved around to the side of the building.

“The servants' entrance is on the other side of the house. We must slip past this crowd to reach it. We will have to be very careful: Arl Howe is inside,” Erlina said. 

“Good, let’s go,” Elissa said. 

Erlina nodded. “I will be right behind you.”

They worked their way around the side of the estate, but were spotted by a few soldiers. They were easily defeated, allowing the group to continue to the back of the estate where there was a garden and hutches for chickens. As they turned the next corner, they spotted two guards beside the servant entrance. 

Erlina stopped them. “I can distract the guards, but you must move quickly. I will lure them into the courtyard. Wait in the bushes.”

Elissa gestured towards the bushes with her head. They crouched in the foliage and waited. 

“Oh!” Erlina approached the guards. “You must come! I saw something! By the fountain! I think it was a darkspawn!”

“Darkspawn?” the first guard said.

“They will drag us all underground to be eaten!” Erlina shouted. 

The first guard turned to the second. “Should we call for help?”

“Did you fall off a cart full of stupid?” the second guard said. “Call for help? So they can see us act like scared little girls because of some knife-eared wench?”

Leah was impressed that Erlina kept her composure at the slur.

“They will eat us alive! Please! Get help!” Erlina cried. 

The first guard still seemed nervous. “If there is something out there and we don't sound the alarm, we'll look worse than scared.”

The second guard scoffed. “Andraste's holy knickers! Fine, we'll check the courtyard, if it'll keep you from wetting yourself. But there's nothing there.”

Erlina feigned gratitude. “Thank you! Oh! It was over here! Quickly!”

As soon as the guards were gone, the party moved to the servant’s entrance and went inside. Erlina met them there a few moments later. 

“Ah! It took me forever to be rid of those two!” She scowled. “Will you wear the disguises I suggested? The servants here, they have no love for Howe, but the will be frightened by strangers bursting in.”

“I understand, we’ll use the disguises you suggested,” Elissa said. 

They all changed their armor, then moved through the western part of the floor they were on without alerting anyone. As they passed some of Howe’s guards, they heard them mention something about Highever. Leah did her best not to utter a sound, even though she wanted to growl and bash their heads against the stone. At one point Elissa looked back at Leah, and the dark look in her eyes told her that Elissa was thinking the same thing. 

Eventually they found Anora’s room, but it was sealed by some kind of magic.

“The Grey Warden is here, my lady,” Erlina said through the wall.

“Thank the Maker!” Anora shouted. “I would greet you properly, but I'm afraid we've had a setback.”

“What sort of setback?” Elissa asked.

Anora explained. “My ‘host’ was not content with leaving me under heavy guard. He's sealed the door by magic.” 

“How do we open it?”

“Find the mage who cast the spell,” Anora said. “He'll most likely be at Howe's side.”

Elissa sighed. “Fine. I'll be back soon.”

“Thank you, Warden,” Anora said. “My prayers go with you.”

Erlina turned to Elissa. “Teyrn Howe will probably be in his rooms. They're at the end of the hall, on the left.”

“Thank you,” Elissa nodded.

They moved through several more rooms, then went down a short set of stairs and through another door. As soon as they did, a guard called out.

“What? Who goes there?!”

Before they could reply, a prisoner in the cell behind the guard pulled him back. The prisoner choked the guard, then snapped his neck. They saw the body dragged into the cell, and then a man with long dark brown hair emerged. 

“I thank you for creating such a distraction, stranger. I have been waiting days for the opportunity. Do you think you could— Alistair? Is that you?” the man said.

Alistair furrowed his brow. “Who… Wait, I do know you. You were at my Joining. He's one of us,” he said to Elissa. “A Warden from Orlais. Jader, I think. Or was it Montsimmard? I'm afraid I don't remember your name.”

“I'm Riordan, senior Warden of Jader, but born and bred in Highever and glad to be home.”

“How did Arl Howe capture you?” Elissa asked. 

Riordan grimaced. “With an offer of hospitality and a poisoned chalice. I was fool enough to think Loghain didn't yet know who I was.”

“Oh!” Elissa rummaged through her pack and pulled out some documents. “We found these in another room, are these your papers?”

Riordan looked at the documents. “Yes. These are my records. The names of the dead I could recognize at Ostagar. What I could find of Duncan's own recruitment records. Copies of the Joining ritual I rescued from our Denerim vault. Those should never be seen by any outside eyes, but I trust in their encryption.” He sighed in relief. 

Elissa looked at Alistair. “The Joining ritual? Can you induct other Grey Wardens?”

Riordan frowned. “Would that I could, for Ferelden sorely needs them. But for the Joining to work, the recruit needs not only fresh darkspawn blood, but a drop of blood preserved from an archdemon. Ferelden's supply should have been in the vault, but it was gone. I can only imagine someone took it out and Loghain either confiscated or destroyed it.”

“Then we need to get it back,” Elissa said, determined. 

Riordan pursed his lips. “As you know, the Joining's chance of success is slim anyway. Loghain has done far worse to the Wardens than cut us off from recruiting. And from the rumors flying through Denerim, removing him from the throne is already your plan, no?”

Elissa blinked. “Yes, of course.”

The senior Grey Warden nodded. “Then you should continue along that course of action.”

“Fine,” Elissa said. “But do you happen to know where Arl Howe is?”

“I saw him go into the dungeons,” Riordan said. “He may still be there.”

“Good,” Elissa said, looking down towards the dungeons. “Will you come with us?”

Riordan shook his head. “I wouldn't be much use to you in my current condition. And, if you'll pardon me, I've a sudden desire to breathe some free air. I will seek you out later— after I find a good physician. And good luck, sister.”

* * *

The party moved down to the dungeon without Riordan. They found more soldiers and more evidence that Howe was torturing people. In one chamber they were able to rescue a young man from a rack. He turned out to be a noble’s son and promised Elissa that his father would side with her against Loghain once he learned of what had happened to him.

After another encounter with more of Howe’s guards, they found a key to the lower prison and freed two more people: an elf from the local alienage, and a soldier who seemed to not be in his right mind. From their tales, it sounded as if they had been there a very long time. The soldier had been at Ostagar, and the elf didn’t even know that the previous arl was dead. 

Finally after many rooms and countless doors, they found Arl Howe. The moment felt surreal. Leah hadn’t laid eyes on the man until now. He caused the death of everyone who had been kind to her. The Couslands. Arthur. Marcus. He seemed so small in comparison to the immense grief he had inspired.

He sneered at Elissa. “Well, look here. Bryce Cousland's little spitfire, all grown up, and still playing the man. I thought Loghain made it clear that your pathetic family is gone and forgotten.” 

Elissa clenched her jaw. “You won't forget. Their memory drove me to you.”

Howe scoffed. “Your parents died on their knees, your brother's corpse rots in Ostagar, and his brat was burned on a scrap heap along with his Antivan whore of a wife. What's left? A fool husk of a daughter likely to end her days under a rock in the Deep Roads. Even the Wardens are gone. You're the last of nothing. This is pointless. You've lost.”

“I know your game,” Elissa narrowed her eyes. “No shadows, no lies. Just you and me.” 

Howe grimaced. “There it is. Right there! That damned look in the eye that marked every Cousland success that held me back. It would appear that you have made something of yourself after all. Your father would be proud. I, on the other hand, want you dead more than ever.”

“The feeling is more than mutual,” Elissa spat and drew her sword. 

Leah snapped into action. She felt like her blood had been replaced with lava. She was on fire with the need for vengeance. 

There were two mages in the room with Howe. Morrigan froze the mage nearest Leah with her magic. Leah took three long steps and used the momentum to shatter him with one powerful swing of her shield. She pierced his heart with her sword just to make sure he was dead. 

She whirled to her left to find Alistair battling another mage. The woman had her back to Leah, and she took advantage of her grave mistake. Leah crouched and slashed the backs of her legs. The mage cried out and faltered, allowing Alistair to finish her off. 

Leah saw Elissa fighting Howe one-on-one. Howe punched Elissa, sending her to one knee. 

Leah crept behind Howe as he gloated over Elissa. She took him by surprise and hit him over the head with her shield. He reeled, and she threw her shield on her back. Leah bent his head back sharply with her right hand and pressed her sword against his throat. “You will pay for everything you have done,” Leah hissed in his ear. She looked to Elissa. “Are you okay?”

Elissa stood. She nodded and wiped the blood from her mouth. “I’m fine. Release him.”

Leah raised her eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yes. I want a fair fight. I want him to die knowing what a coward he truly is,” Elissa spat in Howe’s face. 

“Can’t argue with that,” Leah said and released Howe.

He sputtered and choked. “You pathetic little bitch,” he said to Elissa.

She bashed the left side of his face with her shield. “Say it again, I dare you.”

He spat blood and tried to evade her sword, blocking it with his daggers. 

Elissa was too good for him. Without his soldiers and mages it was no contest. She tracked his dodges like a predator with prey. Every thrust of his dagger was met with either Elissa’s shield or air. Leah watched with appreciation, and stopped Alistair when he attempted to help.

“Let her do this,” Leah told him. 

Elissa took a wide swing at Howe, and he ducked underneath. He slashed her across one thigh and she cried out. She fell to one knee once again, but this time she hooked her shield behind Howe and her sword arm drove upward into Howe’s body, hitting her own shield when it went clean through his torso. “That’s for Highever,” she growled.

He choked and coughed up blood. Elissa moved her shield and sheathed her sword up to the hilt through Howe’s heart. “And that’s for my family, you heartless piece of shit.” She removed her sword and he fell to the ground. 

The sound Howe made on the floor was horrific. A wet wheeze emerged from his chest. “Maker... spit on you. I deserved... more—” He fell back, dead. 

Elissa stood panting over his body. Her leg started to give, but Alistair reached her in time to hold her up.

Leah moved into action as well, holding Elissa on her other side. “Well done, Miss Cousland.”

Elissa breathed heavy. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

Leah chuckled. “You’re not the boss of me, and you just avenged your family. If it were up to me I’d make you Queen of Ferelden right now. They could use a badass on the throne.”

Elissa gave a breathy laugh. “Maker, I’d hate being Queen. Too many boring dinners.”

“Then will you accept being Queen in spirit if I promise to never let you have a boring dinner for the rest of your life?” Leah offered. 

“That sounds perfect,” Elissa sighed. Alistair made her drink an elfroot potion. She shut her eyes as it took effect, then grasped Leah by the shoulder. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Leah grinned. “Oh no, you absolutely could have. But it was way more fun this way,” she grasped Elissa’s gloved right hand in her own. “Thank you,” she said. 

“Thank you,” Elissa echoed.

Once Elissa was healed enough, they continued through the dungeon and found another key that opened even more prison cells. In one, they found a very confused man. 

“Andraste, Bride of the Maker, have mercy on me. Alfstanna... is that you, little sister? No... I don't know you... do I? Are you real?” he said.

“Who are you?” Elissa asked. 

“I... I'm Irminric, Knight-Lieutenant of the Denerim chantry. You... aren't one of the teyrn's men?” he asked in desperation. 

Alistair cleared his throat. “He sounds like he's in lyrium withdrawal. He's got all the signs: Confusion, weepiness... He probably doesn't even know what he's saying. If the grand cleric knew he were in here, she'd be spitting hot coals. Nobles don't have authority over templars.”

Elissa gave the man a sympathetic look. “Oh Maker.”

“I... I failed in my duties. Maker, forgive me. I failed, and there's no telling what he's done…”

Elissa spoke softly. “Who are you talking about?”

The man looked up at her. “The maleficar. He had turned blood magic upon templars and Circle mages to escape from his tower. Near Redcliffe, I cornered him... But the teyrn's men took him from me... and brought me here…”

Elissa looked over at Alistair before returning to the templar. “This maleficar, was his name Jowan?”

The templar looked at her with a fire in his eyes. “Yes. He... destroyed his phylactery... we were spread out, trying to find him... I was alone. I... you are real, aren't you? My dreams are... so strange now. Please, if you're not a dream, help me,” he begged. 

Elissa grasped his hand. “What do you want me to do?”

He placed a ring in her palm. “Give this ring to my sister, Alfstanna. Tell her... tell her I'm sorry. Please. Ask her to pray for me.”

“I will,” Elissa said. “I promise.”

The templar retreated again into his cell and they were forced to continue on. Another man yelled from a cell further in.

“Who's there? Stay away! You can't do this to me! I'll have you all flayed! I'm the arl of Denerim!”

Elissa approached the cell with caution. “Arl Urien died at Ostagar. Who are you?”

“I'm Vaughan Kendells, heir to the arling of Denerim! Too many of our troops were lost at Ostagar. When the riots started, Howe came with men to reinforce the garrison here. Or that's what he claimed. As soon as I let him into the palace, he threw me in here. 'One more victim of the elven uprising,' he said. Let me out of here. I'll do anything,” Vaughan said. 

Elissa thought for a moment. “A Landsmeet has been called, I need your voice.”

Vaughan gripped the bars of his cell. “Of course! Anything, just let me out!”

Elissa hesitated, but eventually agreed. “Very well, you can go.”

“I swear, you won't regret this!” Vaughan ran from the dungeon. 

“Why do I get the feeling you’ll regret that?” Leah asked Elissa. 

Elissa grimaced. “I have the same feeling, actually. I don’t know why, but something about him felt very wrong.”

“Agreed,” Alistair, Morrigan and Zevran all said in unison. 

“Oh boy,” Leah breathed. “If all of us are agreeing, that must be a bad sign.”

Elissa winced. “Let’s just finish this. Then we can examine my poor decisions.”

They returned to Anora’s chamber and retrieved the queen. 

“My thanks,” Anora said. She was dressed in a guard’s armor.

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “What are you dressed like that?”

Anora sighed. “Because there are two sorts of people in this house: those loyal to Howe and those loyal to me. If Howe's people find me, I'll be killed. And my people will insist on escorting me back to the palace, where my father may also have me killed.”

Elissa shrugged. “Okay, fair enough. Let’s get out of here.”

The group tried to leave, but at the door they were met with many soldiers. 

“Warden!” their leader, a dark-haired woman, shouted. “In the name of the regent, I am placing you under arrest for the murder of Rendon Howe and his men-at-arms. Surrender, and you may be shown mercy.”

Elissa held her hands up. “I will stand down. You don't know the whole story.”

“Why stop now?” Alistair said to Elissa. He jerked his head towards the woman in front of them. “Cauthrien is all that stands between us and freedom.”

“Are you sure this is what you wish?” Erlina hissed. 

Elissa gave a low growl. “Fine! I guess we’re fighting our way out, then.” 

Cauthrien frowned. “Bring them down! Loghain wants the Warden dead or alive!”

Leah winced. “Oh Maker…”

The party fought as well as they could, but Cauthrien had many soldiers with her. They were not strong enough to stand against her, and needed to retreat. Leah pulled back with Zevran, Morrigan, Erlina and Anora, but Elissa and Alistair allowed themselves to be cornered. 

Leah saw the panicked look in Elissa’s eyes, but knew she couldn’t do anything. Zevran pulled her away through another door. Leah finally turned away and followed her other companions out of the estate, even while her heart screamed for her to go back and save her friend.

* * *

The next thing she knew, they were back at Arl Eamon’s estate. Leah stood in the entryway, staring off into nothing.

“Leah?” Zevran said. He moved closer to her. 

Leah heard someone calling her name, but it seemed so far away. She was breathing so hard, and the world felt askew from her mind. This isn’t real, she thought to herself. She felt as if she were floating away. The air wrapped itself around her and pulled her from the stone floor.

Zevran placed a hand on her cheek and she slammed back into reality. 

Her eyes widened and she began to hyperventilate. 

Zevran brought his other hand up so that he was cupping her face. “You’re alright, everything is going to be okay. Breathe for me, Leah.”

Leah grabbed on to Zevran’s arms and sputtered for a moment, but found an opening that allowed her to take a deep breath.

“That’s it. Breathe in, then out. Once again,” Zevran coaxed her. 

Leah closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. The world came back into focus and she finally found her tongue. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Zevran lowered his hands, but kept one on her shoulder to keep her grounded. “Are you back?”

Leah opened her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Okay,” he nodded in return. “We will get Elissa back. You have my word.”

“Yeah,” Leah said. “We’ll get her back. She’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay.” She continued to take deep breaths in and out. 

“Come along,” Zevran said. “We’ll need to tell Arl Eamon what happened.”

“Okay,” Leah wheezed, but followed. 

When they reached Arl Eamon, Anora was explaining the situation.

“Eamon we have a problem!” she shouted. 

“Calm down,” Eamon held his hands out. “What has happened?”

“The Wardens have been captured.”

Eamon paled. “What? How could this happen?”

Anora sighed. “Never mind that. The question is how to free her.”

“Surely you mean them, your Highness?” He gave Anora a pointed look. “We need Alistair, too.” 

Anora looked away. “Yes. Of course I meant Alistair too. Cauthrien will take them to Fort Drakon. Getting inside will be no small feat…”

“Then it’s a good thing you have people who are accomplished at greater ones,” Leah said. She nodded at Zevran and Leliana. “We’ll penetrate the fort. We’ll bring them back.”

Anora didn’t try to hide her skepticism. “Will you?” 

“You require people who are cunning. You have a Crow and an Orlesian bard. Who better?” Leah said.

“And why are _you_ suited to the job?” Anora looked her up and down.

Leah gave a short laugh. “Because Elissa is my best friend, and she loves Alistair with her entire soul. I will do anything to save both of them. I’d die to ensure they both live.” She had never thought the words before, but the second the idea of Elissa dying entered her mind, Leah knew she wouldn’t let that happen. 

Eamon raised an eyebrow. “I think we have a strategy, your majesty.”

Anora didn’t break her stare at Leah. “Apparently so.”

* * *

After a short discussion with Zevran and Leliana, Leah agreed to take Bones with them as an additional layer to their deception. This was Ferelden after all, and mabari were an essential element of any combat strategy.

As they approached the fort, a guard stopped them. 

“What's your business in Fort Drakon?” he said. 

Leliana spoke up. “We’re here to deliver this hound to your kennel master.”

The guard looked at the group. “All of you?”

Leliana batted her eyes at the guard. “He’s a rambunctious dog, he requires a full entourage. Well worth what your superiors are paying for him.”

The guard stood up straighter. “But I wasn't told we were getting a mabari.”

Bones growled.

Leah crouched down in front of him. “Who’s a good puppy? Who’s a good puppy? You are! Yes, you are!”

Bones barked and wagged his tail. 

“As you can see, he’s quite restless,” Leliana said. 

“Miss, we—” the guard tried. 

“What’s that? You know you’re a good puppy and you want to rip someone apart to prove it? Oh what a good boy!” Leah said to Bones. 

Bones jumped about and yipped in joy. 

Leliana gave the guard a sinister smile. 

“Oh Maker… I’ll get the captain,” the guard said. 

A few moments later, the captain arrived. 

“What’s this about a new dog?” the captain said. 

“I'm delivering a new mabari to the kennels. Isn't he beautiful?” Leliana gestured towards Bones.

The captain sighed. “Why does the blighted hound master never notify me of these things? Very well, take him through. And tell Neville I want a word with him when you get there.”

“As you wish, captain. Thank you,” Leliana smirked as she moved past the captain. 

They moved through the fort and ended up in a larger room with a great number of guards. 

“Shit. What do we do?” Leah whispered to Leliana and Zevran. 

Zevran held a finger to his lips and climbed up to a ballista. He fired a shot into a far corner of the room, and the guards all went to investigate. 

They were able to sneak past the guards while they were confused about the ballista shot, but eventually had to fight some of the soldiers in the fort. Bones was a great help, and Leah started to wonder why Elissa didn’t take him on more quests. 

Finally they found Elissa and Alistair’s cell. Leah and Zevran watched for more soldiers while Leliana opened the door and helped them find their gear. 

When they were ready, Leah breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Elissa. “I was worried we had lost you,” she said. 

Elissa embraced her in return. “Not a chance,” she said. “Thank you.”

Leliana gave a low whistle. “Follow us, the arl is waiting.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rescuing Elissa and Alistair, the party returns to Arl Eamon to learn their next steps. Elissa invites Leah along on their investigation of the elven alienage, and they discover the disturbing truth behind the elves that are missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer than I hoped, apologies for the longer wait. I had trouble "finding" Leah in this part of the story. There are conversations that Elissa would have in private that Leah would not be privilege to, and little that would be relevant to her long-term story. But she was there, waiting for me to pick up the thread and weave it in between Elissa's own story. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience! I can't believe we're almost at the end of the Blight. There are so many wonderful moments that are still much later in the story that I can't wait to share, but I want to treasure the beats that reveal themselves in the meantime.

* * *

The reunited companions escaped Fort Drakon with ease. Leah was grateful that something had gone right for once, and she was relieved to have Elissa back safe and sound for the moment. It might not last forever; they still had Loghain, the darkspawn, and the archdemon to contend with, after all. But it was a win nonetheless, and she wasn’t going to take it for granted. 

“Maker’s breath,” Arl Eamon said when the party returned to his estate in Denerim. “It’s good to see you both in one piece.”

“We have been praying for your safe return, Warden,” Anora echoed the sentiment, conveniently leaving Alistair out.

Elissa nodded. “We wouldn’t be here without our rescue party.” She gave Leah, Leliana, Bones and Zevran a quick smile. “But we have a great deal to do now, and less time to do it in.”

“Indeed,” Anora agreed. “We will need to work together, and quickly. My father has gone mad. I didn’t believe it at first, but he is gripped by a paranoia so severe it prevents him from seeing sense. He saw me as a threat, yet even now I'm certain he will be telling the nobles that you are dangerous murderers that have kidnapped and mind-controlled me. He may even believe it.”

Elissa sighed. “Is there truly no way to reason with him?”

Anora clasped her hands together and looked down. “I thought so. I’d hoped so.” She looked back up at Elissa. “Howe’s influence was strong, his death can only be a good thing.”

“Than if it’s possible, I’m even more grateful to have killed the man,” Elissa said. 

Anora held a hand up. “But even that will not be enough. I know my father, and he is committed to his course. He will see this through, no matter what. You will need ammunition come the Landsmeet, and I can help in that regard. Am I correct that you have not been in Denerim long?”

“This time, yes. But we passed through while tracking down the Urn of Sacred Ashes, when Eamon was still in a coma,” Elissa explained.

Anora nodded. “Then you may not be aware of some recent events. Denerim has been in turmoil since Ostagar. Many people here are angry or grieving. Strangely, the unrest is worst in the alienage. Few elves accompanied the army. They should have little reason to be upset.”

Leah balked. “‘Little reason?!’ You mean other than—”

Elissa put a hand on Leah’s shoulder to stop her. “I know,” she whispered. “But perhaps this is not the best time.”

Leah glanced at Anora, then turned back to Elissa. “Alright.” She held her hands up. “I’ll back off.”

Elissa returned her attention to Anora. “Please continue. You have a theory as to why they’re upset?”

Anora raised an eyebrow at Leah. “Yes, I think Howe and my father must have given them reason. I don’t know what is happening there, but I am certain my father has his hands in it.”

“A useful lead, Anora,” Eamon said. “But you could have sent this information with your maid.” 

Anora sent a glance in his direction. “That is true. I feared for my safety as Howe's prisoner.” She turned back to Elissa. “But to tell the truth I sent Erlina to you because I hoped we might join forces. You need that evidence for the Landsmeet, but you also need a stronger candidate for the throne. You need me.”

Elissa crossed her arms and thought. “It sounds more like you need us.”

“I have no doubt Alistair is biddable enough, and decent, but even with his blood he is no king,” Anora said.

“I’m _right here_. Everyone needs to stop talking about me like I’m not standing right in front of them,” Alistair complained. “And also, ouch.”

Anora glared at him. “You think only I can see it? Not only that, you are a Grey Warden.” She looked between Eamon and Elissa. “It will look like both of you are trying to put a Grey Warden on the throne, despite your claims. I am a neutral party— and I am already queen.” 

Eamon sighed. “Anora, you are indeed Cailan's widow, but…”

She interrupted him. “I am the daughter of Ferelden's greatest general. Who do you think truly ruled this nation for the last five years? Cailan?” Her voice rose. “I am what this country needs, not an untrained king who does not even want the throne.”

“Untrained is better than untrustworthy,” Alistair countered. “And you sound an awful lot like your father right now. He thinks he’s what this country needs too, and look what he’s done to it so far.”

Anora looked like she was ready to rip Alistair’s head off. Instead she narrowed her eyes and turned her attention back to Elissa. “I can help you stop my father. Consider what I have said. For now, I think I will retire to my room. When you have a moment I ask that you come speak with me.” She gave Alistair a pointed look. “ _Alone_.”

Anora stormed out of the room.

Eamon cleared his throat. “Well, she’s quite… spirited.”

“That’s a kind way to put it,” Elissa muttered. 

“I remember when Loghain first brought her to Denerim.” Eamon shook his head. “Poor Cailan was a good boy, but Anora was always two steps ahead. Had him jumping when she snapped since the first time she batted her eyelashes. I cannot help thinking she may be trouble. But we should keep her close, all the same.”

“Why do you think she’s trouble?” Elissa asked. 

Eamon eyed her. “This is an alliance of convenience— for the moment we are united against Loghain. But be careful how much trust you place in her. Alistair was not wrong in what he said. I do not for a moment think Anora means to give up her power easily. Still, I would rather have her where we can watch her than actively working for Loghain.”

“While we’re planning to depose her?” Elissa raised an eyebrow.

Eamon crossed his arms and sighed. “Anora was a capable administrator for Cailan's lands, but she has not a drop of royal blood. We did not fight the Orlesians all those years just to lose our royal line in a single generation. Not when there's a surviving son of the blood.” He nodded at Alistair. 

“So let me get this straight,” Leah interrupted them again. “Let’s say hypothetically that you knew Alistair would be a terrible king.”

“Hey!” Alistair protested. “Not you, too.”

“I don’t _actually_ think you’d be terrible, and I’m not suggesting that Anora’s a better choice,” Leah said to him. “I just want to follow this logic. Let’s say in this fictional example, you knew he would be a bad king. You were 100% sure of it. Now let’s say you had found someone else who you knew would be the best king or queen ever in the entire history of the country. But they didn’t descend from royalty. You’d still rather put a terrible king with royal blood on the throne, than someone who would do some actual good?”

Eamon and Elissa looked uncomfortable. 

“Of course not, but that’s not really what we’re…” Eamon trailed off.

“It’s... complicated,” Elissa tried. 

“You have no sense of the power of royal heritage, my dear,” Zevran grinned. “But I would love to watch them try to explain it to you.”

An awkward silence filled the room.

“Let's talk about something else,” Elissa finally said, rubbing her neck. 

“Yes, we certainly have a great deal to plan,” Eamon agreed. 

“I think I have my answer,” Leah murmured to Zevran. 

Eamon turned to Elissa. “If I might make a suggestion: Go speak with Anora. She will either be a powerful ally, or a powerful enemy, and the sooner we know which she is, the better.”

* * *

While Elissa met with Anora, Leah decided to spend some time in Eamon’s library. Many of the books were familiar; his collection was similar to the Cousland’s library, which made sense. Eamon didn’t seem the type to have a penchant for magical knowledge, let alone books that might hint at traveling between worlds. Leah wondered if that might change now that Eamon knew Connor was a mage.

While Leah browsed, she noticed one of Arl Eamon’s servants enter the library and look around. The dark-haired elf spotted her and walked over. 

“Excuse me, miss?”

“Leah, please,” she insisted. “You’re Mera, right?”

“Yes, Miss Leah,” the elf said. “There is man in the foyer asking for you. He says it’s about a business proposal.”

Leah’s eyes lit up. “Oh! That must be Bert. Thank you for finding me, I wouldn’t want to miss this. Just wait til you see what he cooked up,” she grinned.

Mera gave her a curious look. “Not at all, miss.”

Leah almost ran down to the foyer and found Bert waiting for her. 

“Ah, my generous benefactor!” he said. “I have your dye ready!”

“I’m glad to hear it! How did your experiments go?”

“Very well, messere! It took a different recipe than for cloth, but I’ve created a dye gentle enough for hair that will last. And in your preferred color.” He presented her with a vial of a vibrant deep green dye. 

“Incredible! Any specific instructions for how to use it?” she asked. 

“Yes, I would recommend using gloves, of course. You will want to pour this with an equal amount of water into a basin, then dip your hair for half an hour at least. Afterwards you’ll need to rinse until the water runs clear. It may not last forever, I won’t know for sure without more testing, but fashion is fleeting after all.”

“True enough. I care less about fashion and more about my own preferences, however,” Leah said.

“Of course, of course,” Bert said. “And as we agreed…?”

Leah nodded. “The last two sovereigns are yours.” She handed the coin to him. “I’m very grateful.”

“As am I! I’ve already had several patrons interested in purchasing this dye in multiple colors. Stop by my stall the next time you’re in the market and I’ll gladly give you your share of any sales I’ve made. Than you messere!” Bert bowed. 

“Thank you, Bert!” Leah bowed as well. “I’ll see you soon.”

* * *

That night Leah tried Bert’s dye according to his instructions. It smelled horrendous and she had a crick in her neck from immersing her hair in the solution, but when all was said and done she was quite happy with the result. From her chin down, her light blond hair shifted into a rich green that varied strand to strand between the brightness of the leaves in the Brecilian forest and the deep center of an emerald.

As she walked the halls that evening, she passed Leliana and Elissa. 

“Maker’s breath! What happened to your hair?” Elissa said. 

Leah grinned. “I invested in a new fashionable potion that would change the color of your hair. Kind of like cloth,” she said. 

“Oh my,” Leliana breathed. “Any color?”

“Supposedly,” Leah said. “The man who created the recipe seemed optimistic about the potential. I asked for this color, and it came out even better than I imagined. He’s a genius!”

“That’s brilliant!” Leliana said. “There are women in Orlais who would pay well for custom hair colors.”

“That’s what he said,” Leah agreed. “And because I suggested the idea, I get a 35% cut of the profits, plus free dyes as long as he lives.”

Elissa whistled. “I had no idea you were so shrewd in business deals.”

Leah chuckled. “How do you think I get the prices I do for the equipment we trade? I can haggle with the best of them!”

“Clearly,” Elissa grinned. “Then I’m even more thankful you agreed to come with us. I’d be destitute without your acumen.”

“Fancy talk for not letting people rip you off,” Leah winked. “You handle the Grey Warden shit, I’ll handle the coin. In fact, I should have some dragon scale armor ready soon! Remember the drakeskin armor? It’s that same blacksmith. He didn’t even want coin for the first set, but I think because I paid him that time, this set will be even better!”

“I can’t wait,” Elissa said. “And I love the hair, by the way.”

* * *

The next morning there was a knock on Leah’s door. She opened it to find Elissa already in her armor.

“Hey,” Leah leaned against the doorframe. “Is it weird that this is weird? Having doors and beds and rooms?”

Elissa smirked. “Would you feel better if we set you up in a tent in the courtyard?”

Leah thought for a moment. “No. No, I think I like weird things,” she chuckled. “What’s going on?” She gestured to the armor. “Out for blood this early in the day?”

Elissa winced. “I hope not, but… we’re headed over to the alienage. We need to find out what’s going on and if Loghain truly is behind it. I thought you might want to come along?”

“Sure,” Leah shrugged. “If you need me to come, I’m game.”

“I just thought…” Elissa paused and pursed her lips. “You seem to have a particular interest in them. The elves, I mean. It won’t be pleasant; aside from the conditions of the alienage, you’re likely to find hostility there as much as with the Dalish. But if you’re as eager to learn and help them as it seems…”

Leah shifted her weight. “I mean, if they do need some kind of help, I sure wouldn’t mind giving it. I just got mad when Anora said they had no reason to be upset. From what you told me they have reason to be upset about anything they damn well please for a long, long time.”

“You’re not wrong. Anora is…” Elissa sighed and shook her head. “She has the privilege of distance. We all do, to some degree or another. I just thought… you’ve met the Dalish. You should see the alienage for yourself as well. Knowing the history is one thing, but it’s not enough until you know the people it effects. I think it would be educational for both of us, honestly.”

Leah nodded and looked down. “I just keep thinking… what if that were me? What if when I woke up, I was an elf and I had no memory of what the world was like or what my life had been like beforehand? If I didn’t remember how bad or dangerous it was for me? I think things would have ended up far worse than they did.”

“I wouldn’t have treated you any different,” Elissa said in a quiet voice.

Leah looked up at her with a half-smile. “Maybe,” she admitted. “But there’s no way I would have ended up a guard. I would have been a servant. Probably would have died when...” She swallowed. “Or what if someone else found me first? What if they raped or killed me? What if they kidnapped me and sold me as a slave? It all could have been so much worse…”

“You’re right,” Elissa took a deep breath. “And it actually is that bad for some elves. I see your point. Just one more reason why this is important,” she said. “So get your bloody armor on, already.”

Leah smiled.

* * *

Elissa, Alistair, Leah, Zevran and Morrigan approached the gate to the alienage to find a strange sight.

“Didn’t this used to be barred?” Leah pointed at the gate. “And guarded?”

“It was,” Elissa murmured. “I suppose we’ll have to enter to find out why it isn’t any longer.”

A bridge led them inside the alienage. The haphazardly built homes inside were small and crowded together. There were pools of stagnant water, stacks of warped wood and dirty sacks lining the worn dirt path through the buildings.

Leah saw a notice pinned to a wall that said “ _Bearing arms is strictly prohibited. Elves who have swords will die upon them_.” She grimaced at the thought. 

In the middle of the alienage there was a giant tree with the thickest trunk she had ever seen. 

 

“Elves plant these trees to remind themselves of who they once were.” Zevran gestured towards the tree. “And then they pee on it. Charming symbolism, really.”

As they passed one of the houses, an elf leaving his home stopped and stared. 

“It’s you!” he said to Elissa.

She looked at him for a moment. “You were in the dungeon, in the Arl’s estate.”

“I was. My name is Soris. I didn’t thank you before, did I?”

“No need, Soris. I’m grateful you were able to escape,” Elissa said. 

“I still wish I could give you something in return. Everything I owned was lost to looters after the purge. Not that I had anything valuable to begin with,” Soris said. 

“The purge?” Elissa gave him a quizzical look. “Can you tell me what’s been going on here?”

“It’s a plague, so they say.” Soris shrugged. “I’ve seen a few sick people since I've been back, but I don't know how bad it really is. There are mages from Tevinter here, helping to treat it. There's something odd going on, though. My cousin Shianni could tell you more. You can't miss her, just look for the angriest woman in the alienage.”

“I like her already,” Leah said.

“The alienage was closed off before, why isn’t it anymore?” Elissa asked.

“Between the civil war and Ostagar, the city doesn’t have enough soldiers left to seal the alienage. And only elves and refugees have gotten sick. I’m sure that if anyone important gets the plague, the alienage will burn,” Soris’ voice lowered. 

Elissa frowned. “Is there anything I can do, Soris? I don’t want that to happen.”

Soris glanced up at her, then down at his hands. “You’ve already done a lot for me, but… I have to ask… Could you talk to Shianni? I don’t know what’s going on here, but I know she’s in over her head. Please.”

“Of course,” Elissa said. “It sounds like she’s the right person to talk to, and if there’s something strange going on I want to know what it is.”

“Thank you, Grey Warden,” Soris breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what to say, except thank you. Maker bless you!”

As they walked further into the alienage, they saw a crowd gathered around a building guarded by human soldiers and two mages. 

“Those must be the Tevinter mages that Soris mentioned,” Alistair said. 

“I’ve got children at home!” one woman shouted. “I can’t wait out here for another day!”

“So go home!” another woman with short red hair retorted. “The best thing you can do for your children is not trust these charlatans.”

One of the mages jumped in. “Everyone remain calm. We will help as many as we can today, so long as we can do this in an orderly fashion.”

“Oh, you’re ‘helping’ us, are you shem?” the redhead said with venom in her voice. “Like Valendrian and my uncle Cyrion, you helped them didn’t you? Helped them to never be seen again!”

“And the award for angriest woman in the alienage goes to…” Leah murmured.

“Shianni,” Elissa, Alistair and Zevran said in unison. Morrigan just rolled her eyes. 

At hearing her name Shianni briefly turned, but her attention snapped back to the mage in front of her. 

“We’ve explained this to you before, girl,” the mage sighed. “More whining will not persuade us to let you into the quarantine to carry plague back out to the Alienage.”

“Quit trying to get us all killed, Shianni!” a young man said. “Some of us have still got things to live for!”

“If this spell of theirs works, why are half the people they quarantine perfectly healthy?” Shianni countered. 

Elissa cleared her throat. “Excuse me, can someone tell me what’s going on here?”

Shianni turned and narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong shem, did you get bored and decide to come watch the elves die of plague?” Her voice dripped with contempt at first, but then she took a good look at Elissa, and her eyes flitted around to the rest of the party. Her expression morphed, almost becoming a smile. “Wait, Soris told me about you. You’re the one who freed him from the dungeons.” She pointed at the mages. “These foreigners say they’re here to help with our outbreak of plague. Funny thing though, all the people they ‘help’ disappear.”

A blond woman interrupted Shianni’s rant. “That’s not true and you know it! Both my sisters got the Tevinter spell cast on them, and they’re fine.”

“Where’s your niece, then?” Shianni asked. “And my Uncle Cyrion? And Valendrian?”

“Slow down. What do you mean people disappear?” Elissa asked. 

Shianni glared at the other woman, but took a breath and returned her attention to Elissa. “The mages have taken dozens of elves into that house over the last few weeks, and none of them have been seen again. One of them was our hahren, Valendrian. And I don’t know what we’re going to do if we don’t get him back.”

“Maybe we should take a look inside,” Elissa suggested. She looked over at Alistair, who just nodded. 

Shianni scoffed. “They won’t just let you in.”

“Believe me, it will not be a request,” Zevran said.

Shianni eyed him, then turned back to Elissa. “Just… be careful. Those men are mages.”

“You are aware this is not simply a walking stick, are you not?” Morrigan said derisively. 

Elissa gave her a look of reproach. “Don’t worry,” she said to Shianni. “We’ve got it covered.”

They snuck around the side of the hospice and found a single elven guard at the back door. 

He stopped them right away and held his hands up. “No, you can’t go inside ‘just for a moment,’ so you might as well walk right back around to the front doors. You shouldn’t be out on the streets now anyway, what with the plague.”

“Keeping people from their families doesn’t bother you?” Elissa asked. 

“Look, this is how things are. I didn’t make the Blight, or the plague, or anything. I’m just trying to make a living,” the guard said.

“Hmm,” Elissa thought. “How much do they pay you?”

“Not enough to put up with all these questions. What do you want?”

Elissa gestured at the hospice with her chin. “How much would it take for you to let me in that house?”

The guard took a moment to think. He looked Elissa over, then the rest of the party. “Ten sovereigns.”

Alistair balked at the cost. “Are you joking? No, absolutely not!”

Leah jumped in. “Come on, there’s no way they’re paying you more than three.”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “She didn’t ask what I’m being paid, she asked how much it would take to get in.”

Leah narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the guard. “Fine. We’ll give you five.”

He frowned. “Eight.”

“Six,” Leah countered. “That’s twice what you’re being paid, and you’ve already admitted what a nuisance we’re being. You want to test us and see how much we could really annoy you if we put our mind to it?”

“Take the deal,” Morrigan said. “They truly are a most bothersome lot.”

“Aren’t you magnanimous to put up with us,” Alistair mocked her. 

The guard crossed his arms and huffed. “Fine. This is not worth the hassle. Six. I never saw you, and you never saw me.”

“Deal,” Leah dug into the party’s collective purse and gave him the coin. 

The guard walked away and left them alone in front of the back door. 

The few guards that were inside attacked on sight, but were little challenge for the five companions. Afterwards, they looted the guards and searched the room for clues as to what was happening. 

As Leah rummaged through one guard’s bag, she wondered to herself how stealing from corpses had become her new “normal.” With a sigh she pushed the thought away and pocketed the little coin he had on him. 

“Found something,” Alistair said, and the party gathered round. “Look at this: ‘Bring eight males and six females for the next shipment.’”

“Shianni said people were disappearing,” Leah said. “Now we know how.”

“Indeed,” Elissa looked at the note, turning it over in her hand. “They’re being shipped… where? Tevinter?” She looked at Alistair.

“It would seem so,” he frowned and looked at Elissa. “I suppose they have to get new slaves from somewhere, don’t they?”

She paled, then crumpled the note. “We need to stop this.” She scanned the room once more. “Wait, what’s in that back room?”

Inside they found cages with several elves inside. 

“Help us! Please, we’re not sick,” one man called out. “Let us out of here!”

“Hang on,” Elissa said, and they broke the locks on the cages. 

“Thank you, friend!” the elf said when he was free. 

“Have you seen Valendrian?” she asked him.

“They took him away already. Through the back alley. We don’t know where, exactly.”

“Thank you, that’s most helpful. You should get out of here. Go out the back way, there’s no guard there,” Elissa said.

“You don’t have to say that twice!” 

The elves eagerly escaped through the back door, and the party followed. As they turned the corner around the front of the building, they were stopped by the Tevinter mages and their two guards, who had seen the caged elves escape. 

“Veras!” One of the mages called out to the other and pointed towards the party. “It must have been them!” 

Veras growled. “Meddlesome flea-ridden dog lords.”

Leah drew her sword. “They’re good dogs, Veras!”

“Get the mages first!” Elissa shouted. 

Morrigan used a chain lightning spell that started with Veras, branched off to the other mage, then forked towards the two guards. All four were momentarily jolted, which gave Elissa, Alistair, Leah and Zevran a slight leg up in the fight. They split the mages between the four of them, then turned on the guards when they were finished. 

Afterwards, Elissa scanned the small crowd of elves that had watched the entire scene. 

“There she is,” she said, and walked over to Shianni.

“What happened?” the redhead asked. “Some of the elves ran out… but I didn’t recognize any of them! Where are all the others?”

“I found this note inside.” Elissa gave her the note.

“Let me see that,” Shianni read it over. “What does this even mean? They can’t be shipping people, can they? Shipping them where?”

Elissa and Alistair exchanged a look. 

“These were Tevinter mages, Shianni. It seems likely…” Elissa trailed off.

Leah watched as the realization settled over Shianni, along with an expression she hadn’t seen on the young woman yet: naked fear.

“No,” Shianni said in a low voice. “That can’t be, they couldn’t… they can’t just do that, can they?”

Elissa didn’t answer. “Have you seen them bring anything out of the hospice?”

Shianni shook her head. “No. People go in, but they don’t come out. They aren’t shipping anything out of there that we’ve seen.” She rubbed her forehead as she thought. “But they could be moving through the back alleys. There are all sorts of buildings back there, they could be using one as some sort of… warehouse? Staging area?” 

“There was a key with the note, I’ll bet it goes to one of those buildings. We’ll take a look,” Elissa said.

“If you find any more information, please let me know,” Shianni asked. “I refuse to accept that they’re all simply… gone!”

Elissa placed a hand on Shianni’s shoulder. “We’ll do everything we can to find them, I promise.”

Shianni nodded and swallowed, then turned and walked away. 

The group headed into the back alley behind the hospice and looked for an indication of where the elves might be hidden away. There was a fence to their right, so they turned left. Lo and behold, at the end of the alley there was a wooden door with a lit torch next to it. 

“You think…?” Alistair said, and jerked his thumb towards the door. 

“That the only accessible and well lit door in the entire alley might possibly indicate where the Tevinters secreted away a bunch of elves?” Leah finished his thought. “I dunno, what are the chances?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” Alistair joked. 

Elissa pulled out the key they had found, but the door wasn’t locked. She raised an eyebrow, but gestured for everyone to follow her inside. 

They found themselves in a hallway that was practically empty, aside from one sick elf inside one of the rooms. They followed the curve of the hallway, and discovered another elf crouched down at the opposite end. 

“Hello?” Elissa called out.

The young man jumped up and spun around. “Who’s there? Stay away!”

Elissa held out her hands. “Calm down, I just want to talk to you.”

“I can’t say nothing,” the elf insisted.

“Truly,” Morrigan muttered. “Or not properly, it seems.”

“Please, just go,” he said. “I don’t want trouble.”

“I would suggest you stop wasting our time and tell us where the missing elves went,” Morrigan persisted. 

The young man glared at her. “I don’t know, I swear!” He turned to Elissa. “I only saw them take people away. Took them right out of their beds. Dragged them down the hallways. Maker, the little ones crying…”

“What about Valendrian?” Elissa asked.

“I saw him,” he said. “They marched him through the hall with a bunch of others. All tied together like pack mules.”

“Do you have any idea where they took everyone?”

“Through the landlord’s old office. They go in there, they never come back. It’s like a parade, a silent one. Every few days they march more people through… men and women and children,” the elf shook his head sadly. “You have to go. They’ll be back soon. They’ll find out I talked, and they’ll take me too! Please, just go!”

“They won’t,” Elissa said in a firm, but gentle voice. “We’re just going to finish looking around and then we’ll leave. Thank you.”

The group checked the remaining rooms and hallways, finding nothing until they reached the landlord’s office. There they caught a few Tevinter soldiers by surprise, slaying them before they could properly react. 

The key they had found worked on a metal door outside of the office, and through the next door they exited the building and met with an alley guard. 

“What’s this?” the guard said. “Another shipment already? We weren’t— Wait, you’re no Tevinter. Who are you supposed to be?”

“Someone who really doesn’t like the fact that you confessed to knowing about these ‘shipments.’” Elissa sighed and drew her blade. 

“Get them! Hurry!” he called out to another guard and a couple of Tevinter soldiers. 

They fought the guards, then finished off the last Tevinter soldier right in front of another door. 

“More doors,” Alistair commented. “Think they’re in here?”

“I hope so,” Elissa said. “Because if we don’t find them, that means they’re already on there way to Tevinter.”

Inside they discovered even more soldiers, as well as an elven woman with dark hair wearing armor. 

“What is the meaning of this?” the woman demanded. “We were told that there would be no interference from the authorities!”

“We’re not with the ‘authorities,’” Elissa said. 

The woman narrowed her eyes. “Oh? An errant group of do-gooders, then? You will regret this, you know. Believe it or not, we have been given dispensation to do our business here.”

“I unfortunately do believe it,” Elissa said, her voice bitter. 

“Rhymes with Boghain…” Alistair said.

“You Fereldans talk a great deal about how very wrong slavery is, but isn’t it funny how quickly the smell of gold overcomes such ideals,” the woman said, sneering. 

Leah turned to Zevran. “Does gold actually smell? I mean, does it smell different than silver? Doesn’t it all just smell like… metal?” She faced the elven woman. “Does the smell of metal make you a heartless, cold-blooded piece of shit slaver? Because I’d really like to keep valuing the lives of others, so this could be important information.”

“But not _her_ life, correct?” Zevran asked. 

“Maker, no. Don’t be ridiculous!” Leah waved a hand. “I meant actual people who aren’t monsters and don’t kidnap children from their homes and sell them into slavery.”

“Are you all touched in the head?” The woman furrowed her brow and looked around at them. 

“Some more than others…” Morrigan muttered. 

The elven woman scowled. “You have no idea how difficult it is to acquire new blood. These slaves will fetch an excellent price in the Imperium, and we are paying handsomely for this opportunity. But enough. I am here to halt your slaughter, nothing more.”

“Then step aside, or be our next victim,” Elissa challenged her. 

The woman looked her up and down. “I am no fool. I can see that you are capable. So be it. I will let Caladrius deal with you while I fetch the Regent’s men. I suggest you leave while you still can.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t come back,” Elissa said in a dark voice. “I have made corpses of many men, women and monsters these last several months. I would not hesitate to make one of you as well.”

The elven woman’s jaw clenched, but she stayed silent as she and her soldiers left.

The party continued to fight their way through the warehouse, with countless soldiers falling beneath their blades and spells along the way. 

Finally they emerged onto a landing in a large room, with a short set of stairs on either side of the landing leading to the lower level. The missing elves were being held in cages on one side of the room. In the middle stood a bald Tevinter mage with dark brown facial hair and several more soldiers at his back. 

“I am Caladrius,” he greeted them. “And you, I assume must be the Grey Wardens I’ve heard so much about.”

“Then you should know enough to realize that I don’t care who you are; you’re not leaving here alive,” Elissa cut to the point. 

“Are you certain you wish to commit such rash action, Grey Warden? Look around you.” He gestured with his arms to the warriors and archers around him. “Surely we can reach some kind of… compromise?”

“There is nothing you could offer that would cause me to stand down,” Elissa spat. 

Caladrius sighed. “Pity. It looks as if we shall have to settle this the hard way, then. My apologies.”

“Keep them.” Elissa drew her blade and met two of Caladrius’ men on the left staircase. 

Alistair and Zevran went to the right staircase to do the same. 

Leah was about to follow Elissa, when Morrigan stopped her. 

“If you want to end this quickly, you will keep those arrows from me,” Morrigan said, holding on to Leah’s arm as she gestured to the archers on the lower floor. 

“Why, you have a secret weapon?” Leah asked, holding her shield up in front of them both.

“Something akin to that,” Morrigan replied. A blue glow built up before her and she muttered a spell under her breath with her eyes closed. 

Arrows pinged off the front of Leah’s shield. “Fuck me,” she hissed and peered over the top. The archers on the left side had shifted slightly to try to reach Morrigan, but the ones on the right were occupied with Alistair and Zevran. Leah shifted her shield to compensate for the new angle from the left. She was more worried by the fact that Caladrius was also building power for a big spell.

“Might want to hurry,” Leah said to Morrigan. “Big man down there is spellcasting too, and I can’t tell which of you is going to pop first.”

Morrigan’s lip curled, but she otherwise did not acknowledge Leah’s comment. 

A few seconds later, Morrigan opened her eyes. “Down, now!” she shouted.

Leah lowered her shield.

A bright white light erupted from within Morrigan as she thrusted her staff out towards Caladrius. A light blue cloud built and enveloped him, which sent him to one knee. 

“Whoa,” Leah said in awe. Then she noticed the archers about to loose more arrows, and raised her shield again. “Shit!”

More pings followed, and arrows whizzed by both her and Morrigan’s heads. 

Morrigan looked drained. She took a lyrium potion from her bag and drank it in one gulp, which seemed to help. “Go,” she said. “I can put up a barrier for myself now.”

Leah nodded and ran to help Elissa with the remaining archers. Morrigan threw a couple smaller spells towards Caladrius, who had stood up again but was still weakened. It didn’t take much to have him back on his knees, barely alive. 

“Enough! Enough!” he gasped. “It seems your reputation is an accurate one. I surrender.”

“Your surrender won’t change your fate. Perhaps you should be left to the mercies of these elves?” Elissa gestured towards the cages.

A look of panic entered Caladrius’ eyes. “Wait! Hear me out, kind ser! Were I to… use the life force of the remaining slaves here, I could… augment your physical health a great deal! Allow me to leave this place alive and I would be more than happy to do this little service for you.”

Elissa was about to respond, when Morrigan interrupted. “It could be useful in the battle ahead,” she mused. 

Zevran grimaced. “Maker’s breath…”

“What?” Morrigan looked at each of them. “Am I wrong?”

Leah sighed. “Normally I appreciate your practical nature Morrigan, but you are abso-fucking-lutely wrong in this instance.”

Elissa snarled at Caladrius. “I don't need your ‘little service.’ Everything I need is already inside me.”

“Then... I don't suppose you would consider just letting me go?” he tried. 

“No, I don't suppose I would.”

Caladrius’ head dropped. “Ah. Well that is a shame, isn't it?”

Elissa plunged her sword down into his body. As he died, his hands grabbed at the blade, to no avail. Elissa pulled it from his corpse with a sickening wet noise and he fell to the ground. 

Elissa sheathed her sword. “Come on, let’s get them home.” She walked over the cages, and they unlocked the doors.

An older, white haired elf approached Elissa. 

“You don't look like a Tevinter,” he said. “Not that it means much. Are you one of them? What happens to us now?”

“Are you Valendrian? Shianni was looking for you,” Elissa said in a gentle voice.

The man’s eyebrows shot up. “Shianni… did she send you here? Praise the Maker! We will not trespass long on your good graces. Come, everyone, let's go home.”

“Warden,” Zevran called to Elissa. He was looting Caladrius’ corpse. “Over here.”

“Damn Zev, you couldn’t wait five minutes?” Leah admonished him.

“You’ll be glad I didn’t when you see this.” He handed Elissa a document.

Elissa looked it over. “Maker’s breath. This is it. This proves that Loghain gave the slavers permission to kidnap elves from the alienage. It bears his seal.” She held out the document to Alistair.

He took it and read it through. “You’re right. This will be incredibly useful in the Landsmeet.” He gave it back to Elissa.

“Best keep this safe.” She rolled it up and stored it in her pack. “Let’s get back to the alienage. I’m sure Shianni will be glad to hear the slavers are gone.”

* * *

When they found Shianni back in the center of the alienage, she thanked them for their help saving the missing elves, then indicated that Valendrian had hoped to speak with them further. She pointed them to his nearby home, and Elissa knocked on the door.

When Valendrian appeared a smile blossomed on his face. “Ah, it’s you! Welcome! Please, come in.” He led them inside his home. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak with you further before, but I was eager to get out of that horrid place. You saved all of us from a terrible fate, Grey Warden. Speaking of, how is Duncan?”

Elissa furrowed her brow. “You know Duncan?”

“Oh yes. He’s been a friend of mine for many years.” Valendrian paused. “But from the look on your face, I take it the news is bad.”

Elissa frowned. “Yes, I’m afraid he died at Ostagar.”

“I am… sorry to hear that,” he sighed. “I knew that the Wardens suffered great losses at Ostagar, but a few escaped… I had hoped Duncan might be one of them.”

“I wish he were,” Elissa said. “How did you know him?”

Valendrian gave a small smile. “He came here now and then to look for potential recruits. Perhaps that seems strange to you, but Duncan was a man who knew that talent could emerge in the most unlikely places.”

Elissa returned the smile. “No, that doesn’t seem strange at all. I only knew him a short time, but he seemed a wise man.”

“He was, indeed,” Valendrian agreed. He moved to a nearby runk and rummaged through its contents. He removed a dagger and closed the lid of the trunk, then handed the dagger to Elissa. “Please, take this. Duncan gave it to me years ago.”

“I couldn’t,” Elissa said. “He gave it to you, he must have wanted you to have it.”

Valendrian waved her off. “I suspect you’ll put it to better use than I would. Keep it.”

“Thank you, this is very kind,” Elissa said. “So… what will you do about the plague now?”

Valendrian took a deep breath. “Well, we’ve been through outbreaks of pestilence during the war with Orlais. We’ll endure. I doubt very much now that the Tevinter intervention would have helped us anyway.”

“I wish you luck, then. If there’s ever anything else I can do…” Elissa trailed off.

“You’ve done plenty,” Valendrian assured her. “Thank you, Grey Warden, and Maker watch over you on your journey.”

* * *

That night, Leah dreamed that she was driving. It was warm and sunny, and she was in her old car, windows down, driving down familiar roads from throughout her life. The neighborhood streets where she rode her bike, the highways to downtown Milwaukee, the route from her apartment to work. The wind blew her hair in wild bursts, whipping it around her face and over her sunglasses. She didn’t care. She felt calm and content and free.

There was a woman in the backseat. Leah couldn’t see her clearly, but knew she was sad. The woman had her face turned to the window. The scene outside flashed from a local strip mall to the courtyard at Castle Cousland, then changed back. The flashes happened again and again, faster each time. Lothering’s Chantry. Redcliffe’s windmill. Lake Calenhad. The Frostback Mountains. Haven. The Brecilian Forest. Denerim’s alienage. 

The woman wiped tears from her face, and Leah realized she was crying too. 

She heard a brief intake of breath, the kind before someone begins to speak, and right before the woman could say a syllable, Leah’s eyes shot open in the dark. 

She sat up. She didn’t feel confused or afraid like she often did after a nightmare. The dream had felt just as vivid, but it was somehow… normal.

“A regular old dream,” Leah whispered to herself as she laid back down. “How novel.” 

She closed her eyes again and drifted back to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elissa and Alistair go to the Landsmeet to confront Loghain. Afterwards, they discover the darkspawn are nearly on their doorstep and everyone must prepare for battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very talky chapter, with a little bit spice towards the end. Even though in Origins you can take companions with you to the Landsmeet, I felt that it didn't make sense for Leah to accompany Elissa and Alistair as that scene is much more about their story than hers. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with the story despite my wonky schedule! As I said in the last chapter, it's been tough to find Leah in all this. But once I did, I found opportunities for her to learn much more about the other people around her who have unique points of view, and what those perspectives might teach her about herself.

* * *

With not much time left before Arl Eamon had to call the Landsmeet, Elissa went into overdrive seeking support, as well as coin and supplies for the troops she had gathered so far. Leah observed from a distance for the most part. She had no idea how Elissa kept up such a pace. It seemed she was always just arriving or just leaving the Arl’s estate whenever Leah saw her. She would pass off equipment, supplies or money for their troops, and be off again. The mages from the Circle were interested in runes, the Dalish preferred supplies for potions like elfroot and deep mushroom, the dwarves requested various precious stones, and Arl Eamon’s soldiers simply needed coin.

In the end, all that work was worth it. Their allies were well prepared and Elissa had multiple nobles willing to stand with her against Loghain. Some had been directly affected by actions he had taken, or at least had family members who had been harmed in some way by Loghain or Howe. With the proof that Loghain had allowed Tevinter slavers into the alienage, they were sure to win even more people to their side. 

Despite everyone’s initial reservations, Elissa settled on backing Anora for Queen. Despite Alistair’s talk of not trusting Anora, his heart still belonged with the Grey Wardens— especially Elissa— and he did not want to leave them when once the Blight was finished, as they would need help rebuilding the order in Ferelden. 

The day of the Landsmeet, Elissa and Alistair left with Eamon and Anora. It was up to them to convince the nobility of Ferelden to remove Loghain from power. Everyone else stayed behind at the estate.

Leah was nervous for Elissa and Alistair. If this didn’t work, the fight against the darkspawn would be twice as hard, and they might be in greater danger than before. She tried to spend time in the library, but found she couldn’t concentrate. Leah wandered the estate, looking for some other way to occupy her time. 

In a hallway she had not visited before, she found the door to a large study open, and the light from a fireplace dancing along the floor. She entered and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw a large figure in one corner. 

Sten had also found this room, and was standing in front of one of the several paintings that decorated the walls. 

“Oh Maker,” she breathed and held a hand to her chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.” She turned to leave.

“Curious,” Sten said, without further explanation.

Leah couldn’t resist. She took a step back into the room. “What’s curious?”

“You appear to be the one startled, yet you apologize to me.” Sten hadn’t moved from his position. 

“Oh. I just assumed you wanted to be alone, so I…” Leah trailed off.

“I do not care either way,” Sten said.

“Oh, okay. So... “ Leah walked further into the room and cleared her throat. “How’s it… going?”

Sten gave what passed for a sigh, but sounded more like an annoyed growl in his deep voice. “Do you fear me?”

Leah blinked, then shook her head. “Um, no. Not exactly. I guess you just make me nervous.”

“Why?”

“‘Why?’” Leah echoed the question. “You’re a very intimidating person, Sten. I’m sure I don’t need to explain that to you. You’re intelligent enough to understand why.”

“Hmm.” Sten’s face moved slightly in her direction, then back towards the painting. 

Leah continued. “I also get the sense you’re always silently judging everyone, me included. So… yeah, it makes me self-conscious and nervous.”

“You are always being judged by others, whether you are aware of it or not,” Sten observed. 

“I’d prefer ‘not,’ it’s a little game we humans like to play where we pretend we’re not judging each other and it protects our fragile little egos,” Leah joked. 

“Sounds tiresome and pointless.”

Leah opened her mouth to respond, but didn’t know what to say. She decided to abandon a response and switch to questions. “Alright. My turn. Why are you just staring at that painting?”

“I’m not ‘just staring,’ human. I’m observing the artist’s technique. It takes skill to be able to wield a small tool in such a controlled manner.”

“...Oh.” Leah raised an eyebrow. “I guess I never thought of that. You didn’t seem the type to appreciate art.”

Sten sighed again. “For someone who is so afraid of others judging them, you make a great deal of your own assumptions and judgements.”

“That’s… fair,” Leah said. “Sorry.”

“More apologies,” Sten muttered. 

“I shouldn’t apologize for being a hypocrite, and judging you based on assumptions?” She took another step towards him.

“No.” He was straight to the point, as always.

“I’m going to have to disagree with you there,” Leah said.

“Shocking.”

“Why Sten,” Leah smirked. “Did you just use sarcasm against me?”

“Most definitely.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel more comfortable, it’s a good start.”

“I wasn’t.”

It was Leah’s turn to sigh. “At least you’re honest.”

The Qunari finally turned to face her. “Why are you here?”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know, I was just wandering the estate, looking for something to keep my mind occupied.”

“No, I mean why are you here, with the Warden?”

“She… asked me to join her. We knew each other in Highever. I needed a purpose. Might as well find it with a friend, right?” Leah said.

“A purpose. That I can understand,” Sten paused. “But women are priests, artisans, farmers or shopkeepers. None of them have any place in fighting.”

“Oh boy,” Leah shook her head as if she were dazed. “How to unpack that…”

“It is not done. There is no more to it.”

“So there are no female Qunari warriors?” she asked.

Sten appeared confused. “Of course not. Why would our women wish to be men?”

A moment of realization hit Leah. “You think they can't be women, because women don't fight?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, I’m a woman. And I’m fighting.” 

“One of those things can't be true,” Sten insisted. “A person is born: qunari, or human, or elven, or dwarf. He doesn't choose that. The size of his hands, whether he is clever or foolish, the land he comes from, the color of his hair; These are beyond his control. We do not choose, we simply are.”

“You’re talking to someone with green hair, Sten.”

“That is artificial. You can not choose the hair that grows from your head.”

Leah held her hands up. “Alright, fine. I will concede that there are a great many things beyond our control.” She looked down, thinking of her predicament. “But we can still choose what we do.” She looked back up at Sten. “I could have walked away when Elissa asked me to come with her. I could have chosen to cower in Redcliffe’s chantry. But I chose to fight, Sten. And it didn’t change the fact that I am a woman.”

“Hmm,” he grunted. “Perhaps. Your skill with a sword is adequate for a human. It’s still confusing.”

“That we can agree on,” Leah admitted. “So... what do you think of Ferelden? Besides the confusing female warriors?”

Sten frowned. “It is… strange.”

“Strange how?”

“No one has a place here. Your farmers wish to be merchants. The merchants dream of being nobles, and the nobles become warriors. No one is content to be who they are,” Sten observed.

“Don't the Qunari ever want to change their lot in life?”

“What does that accomplish?” he asked. “The farmer who buys a shop is never a merchant. He is always a farmer-turned-merchant. He carries his old life with him as a turtle carries its shell.”

Leah was silent for a moment. The idea that she would always carry her old life with her was both reassuring and devastating, and the latter surprised her. It bothered her to think that she might never be a true fighter. 

“No clever retort?” Sten said after the silence lingered. 

“Just having an existential crisis of who I really am. No big deal.” She shrugged.

Sten paused. “You wonder if you are still who you were before your memory loss.”

“Something like that,” Leah said, staring off into nothing. “What if you have no choice, what if— because of your circumstances— you can’t be who you were before, and have to become something else?”

Sten thought for a moment. “I cannot answer that for you. Under the Qun, we are assigned our roles by the Tamassran. Not remembering does not change your role.”

“What if I wasn’t a fighter before? What if I was a… farmer, or an artisan, or whatever. But what if that wasn’t who I was meant to be? If I didn’t have a Tamassran telling me my role, what if they would have decided I was a fighter?” Leah said.

Sten mulled this over. “If the Tamassran say you are a soldier, then that is what you are. If you did not have the benefit of the Qun, you would have been on the wrong path before. You might have missed your true destiny.”

“Hmm,” Leah said. “That’s an overwhelming thought.” She tried once again to change the subject. “When you speak of the Qun you sound a bit homesick.”

“Perhaps. It's strange to be in a crowd and hear a language that is not your own. To see faces that are and aren't like yours. I miss the smells of Seheron. Tea and incense and the sea.”

“That sounds nice,” Leah said.

“Ferelden smells of wet dogs.” Sten grimaced. 

“You left out rotting garbage.”

“True. I was trying to forget that part.”

“Come on Sten, isn’t there anything you like about Ferelden?” Leah asked.

“There is... interesting food here. You have a thing... it doesn't have a word in the Qunari tongue. Little baked things, like bread, but sweet, and crumbly.”

Leah thought for a second. “You mean cookies?”

“Yes! We have no such things in our lands. This should be remedied.”

Leah clapped her hands together. “We need to find you a recipe to bring back home. They are one of the true joys in life. Having a cookie after a day of crushing your enemies? It’s the best feeling in the world.”

“Yes, that does sound satisfying.” Sten rubbed his chin. 

“I’m on it. I’ll go charm the cook into giving up her secrets,” Leah started to leave.

“You are… welcome to stay and contemplate the artwork, if you like.” Sten crossed his arms and turned back to one of the paintings. 

Leah tilted her head. “I guess I could stay for a while longer.”

The two looked over a painting of a landscape with two warriors and several mabari hunting in the woods.

“Am I crazy or is that mabari sticking its tongue out at me?” Leah commented. 

Sten made a sound that sounded like a cross between a grumble and a snort.

“I’m telling _everyone_ that I made you laugh,” Leah grinned.

* * *

When the Landsmeet was over, Elissa asked everyone to gather together in the front hall. Alistair and Arl Eamon were already there, but Leah noticed Anora was not with them.

“It’s done,” Elissa started. “We were able to gather enough support at the Landsmeet to remove Loghain from power.” She paused and looked down before she continued. “He was executed for treason. Anora is queen, now.”

“Let us hope we do not come to regret putting her there,” Eamon muttered. 

“With all due respect, it was the best solution available to us,” Elissa said.

“To kill the woman’s father in front of her, then put her in a place of power? I’m sorry, I don’t agree,” Eamon said.

Elissa took a deep breath in order to keep her composure. “It’s already done,” she said in a firm voice. She looked back around at her companions. “Now, we must focus on the Blight. I’ve been told that the horde is marching on the city and will be here in less than a day. Our allies are ready, but I need to confer with Riordan and Alistair about our strategy for killing the archdemon. Tomorrow morning we will gather at the gates to Denerim to fight the darkspawn. I suggest you all prepare for battle.”

Elissa and Alistair went upstairs to find Riordan, and Arl Eamon retired to his room with a grim look on his face. 

The rest of the group dispersed, each companion headed wherever suited them best on the day before battle. For Leah, that meant a visit to the small room Eamon had given Elissa for storage. 

Since they had arrived in Denerim she had spent a great deal of her time either with their supplies or in the marketplace, so there wasn’t much left to do. But Leah took a final look over their inventory to make sure the blades were sharp, the shields were repaired, the quivers were full, and the armor was in the best condition possible. There were shelves full of potions, and all runes had been either given to the mages from the Circle or enchanted into weapons or armor. 

There were still a few extra amulets and rings that had not been claimed, but Leah left those alone. She had bought everything worth having from the marketplace, there was no point in selling extra supplies at this point. 

With not much else to do, Leah headed to the kitchen. She wasn’t exactly hungry, but knew she needed to eat now. Her stomach would only grow less tolerant as the battle grew closer, and she needed something to keep her energy up. Too many stamina potions made her jittery and queasy. 

She was about to open the door to the kitchen when she heard a loud voice from inside.

“Asschabs!” A roaring laugh followed. 

Leah raised an eyebrow and peered inside. At a small table in a corner of the kitchen, Oghren and Zevran were sitting with small spread, an ale in front of Oghren and a glass of liquor in front of Zevran. 

“Am I interrupting your intimate dinner?” Leah asked.

The two men turned. 

“Ah, Leah!” Zevran hooked his foot around the leg of another chair and pulled it up to their table. “Come join us. Would you like a drink?”

“Why not? What are you two drinking?” Leah asked.

“Ale,” Oghren grunted. 

“Simple, tasty, a decent option. How about you, Zev?”

“A fine Antivan brandy. I was quite surprised to find it in Eamon’s cellar!” Zevran said.

“So… you stole it from our host?” Leah pointed out.

“I’m wounded! I did not steal it. He made his home, food, and drink available to us. Why not this, especially on the eve of battle?”

“Interesting point,” she conceded and sat down. “Alright, I’d like to try that brandy.”

Zevran smiled and poured her a glass, then handed it to her.

Oghren scoffed at her choice. 

“I’m sorry, have I insulted your sophisticated taste?” Leah asked. 

“I just can’t imagine a soldier like you turning down a good ale,” Oghren said. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to have the ale too,” Leah raised an eyebrow and sipped the brandy. “Wow. That is good. Pass me some of that food, too.” She helped herself to some sausage, cheese and bread.

Zevran sat back and folded his hands in his lap. “I think I have a joke for you, my fine dwarven friend.”

“Just don't expect me to laugh,” Oghren said, taking a gulp of his ale. 

Zevran grinned. “So a human, an elf, and a dwarf are walking down a trail beside a stream, and they stop to take a piss.”

“I assume they’re all men based on this premise,” Leah muttered in between bites of food.

“All right. Things are lookin' up. Continue,” Oghren gestured his approval to Zevran.

“After, the human takes out some soap and begins washing his hands. ‘We humans have learned how to be clean and hygienic,’ he says to the others. The elf begins picking some leaves off the trees and wipes his hands with them. ‘We elves do as tradition has taught us and use what nature has provided.’ The dwarf, meanwhile, has pulled up his trousers and is already on his way down the trail.’ And our ancestors,’ he calls back, ‘taught us dwarves not to piss on our hands!” Zevran laughed. 

Oghren gave a hearty chuckle. “Heh. Shows you what you know about dwarves.”

“Charming,” Leah said after swallowing a mouthful of cheese and bread. “So Oghren, how do you like the surface?”

“It's sodding great! At first I was a little queasy, with all that air, but... there's just so much of it! No one has any idea who you are. Or what you're doing. And the ale!” He gestured to his mug. “Who'd have thought, ale made with grain! Aye, the surface is great. It's like a big, bright world of filth without a ceiling. My kind of place.”

“Do you miss Orzammar at all?” Leah asked.

Oghren almost choked on his ale. “What? Miss Orzammar? Are you mad, in addition to being ugly? They treated me like a puddle-fly back there. I'm never going back.” 

Leah eyes widened and she gave her head a shake. “You think I’m ugly?”

“Eh, you’re not my type. No offense.” Oghren grimaced. 

“Considering the dwarf’s style of wooing you may want to be grateful, my dear,” Zevran offered. 

“I guess.” She frowned a little, then took another sip of brandy. “So Oghren, I hear you’re a berserker? What’s that all about?”

“What the sod is there to know?” Oghren said. “You get mad, you fly into battle, and things die. It's pretty simple.” 

“Hm,” Leah thought. “Yeah, I guess I’ve experienced some of that. But what’s the difference between just being mad and being a berserker?”

“Well the hard part is getting in touch with your rage. We all learn to hold that back. It's why we don't kill every duster who looks at us sideways. You need to shut that off. For some people, being in battle is enough. But others have to think about something. Violence, monsters, nobles, your wife, whatever,” Oghren said, taking another drink.

“Then that’s something we have in common,” Leah said. “I get mad thinking about your wife, too.”

“Heh,” Oghren grinned. “Several years ago, I worked with a berserker on one expedition who just couldn't work himself up. We had to kick him in the stones before he could get going.”

“Ouch,” Leah said. “It’s a dangerous way to fight, though.”

“Dangerous for other people, you mean,” Oghren narrowed his eyes. “When you fight, you get mad. Berserkers grab that anger and drink it like it's yesterday's ale. Then we turn it against our foes and watch the limbs fly.”

Leah set down the bread she had been eating. “How do you… control it, though?” She looked over at Oghren, her expression sincere. “How do you stop once you start?”

“You stop when the last of your enemies stops breathing,” Oghren said, his tone serious. “You feel that rage sometimes, huh?”

Leah drank some more brandy before answering. “Yeah. Sometimes.”

“What do you have to think about to get that anger to flow?” he challenged her. 

She flicked her eyes up at him. “Violence, like you said. Violence done to me, violence done to people I care about. Sometimes I can’t stop myself,” she sighed.

“Yeah,” Oghren nodded. “That’s the rage. It’ll serve you well in battle if you let it.”

“Maybe,” Leah said. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. “So what’s it like being a warrior in Orzammar?”

“You get a sword or an axe and are told to go out and defend your city.” Oghren frowned into his ale. “It's the best thing in the world, that is until you try to live in the city you saved.”

“How so?”

He swallowed his ale. “I mean, they train you to kill, teach you to harness your rage at the first noise you hear, then try to set a hundred sodding rules about it. Like those Provings?” He spat. “Ancestors show their favor through the strongest arm, right? So why so many rules saying how to fight and when you win, and not to bloody kill? Killing's what swords are for!”

“Can’t argue with that,” Leah admitted. 

“Bloody right,” Oghren said. He took a long drink from his mug, then got up and refilled it from a barrel nearby. When he returned, he was chuckling to himself.

“What is it, my friend?” Zevran asked. “Something amusing on your mind?

“I got a good one,” Oghren slurred. “This human walks into a tavern, and there's an elf there, and she says…” He laughed to himself for a few seconds. “She says…” He laughed some more.

Leah raised her eyebrows. “And? Then what?”

Oghren giggled. “She says, ‘I don't…’” He snorted, but couldn’t finish the joke.

Zevran clucked his tongue. “You’re drunk already, aren’t you?”

“You sound like my father,” Oghren shouted. “He was all, ‘You're drunk; stop wetting on the table.’”

“How dare he,” Zevran said. 

“Least my mom had the good sense to hide the booze from him. So, you know, she could drink where he couldn't see her.” He chortled to himself again.

Zevran chuckled. “That's heartwarming.”

“Hey buddy, let's not go crazy or anything. Keep your pants where I can see 'em,” Oghren squinted at Zevran. 

“Are you wearing pants?” Leah asked Zevran. 

“Rarely if ever,” he quipped. 

Oghren looked between Leah and Zevran. “So. You two, aye?”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “Us two what?”

“You know,” Oghren said. “Rolling your oats.”

“That’s not how that saying goes, Oghren,” Leah said. 

“Polishing the footstones.”

Leah shook her head. “Nope.”

“Tapping the midnight still, if you will.”

“Who’s the still in this scenario?” she asked, then turned to Zevran. “Is this what you two do when you’re alone together?”

Zevran grinned.

Oghren kept going. “Forging the moaning statue. Bucking the forbidden horse. Donning the velvet hat.”

“Are you just making these up right now?” Leah asked.

“Nope. Been saving 'em.” Oghren took another drink of his ale.

“I think you should have kept them a bit longer,” Leah teased him.

“What, you gonna start blushing or something?” he challenged her.

“Oh Oghren,” Leah laid a hand on her chest. “If you really want to embarrass me, you’re going to have to put your back into it. I’m just saying you’re not very good at innuendos.” 

“You got something better?”

Leah’s face lit up. “Ooh. Give me a moment.” She drummed her fingers on the table as she thought. “Dipping the wick.”

Oghren gave a so-so gesture.

“Giving the dog a bone,” Leah continued. “Putting bread in the oven. Thumping thighs…”

Oghren chuckled slightly in appreciation.

“A pants-off dance off.” Leah banged her fist on the table. “I’ve got it. Entangling the lower beards!”

Oghren bent over, roaring with laughter. “That’s good. Mind if I use it sometime?”

“Not at all,” Leah waved her hand. She sat back, crossed her legs and held her glass of brandy aloft. “It’s yours. Spread it amongst the people,” she said in a fake posh accent. 

“You’re all right, you know?” Oghren said.

“I had a sneaking suspicion,” Leah grinned and held out her glass. “Cheers to being alright.”

Oghren and Zevran clinked their mug and glass against hers.

* * *

As the night began to wind down, Leah continued to roam the halls of Arl Eamon’s estate. Despite the brandy she had consumed she was still restless and sought a distraction. When she passed by Elissa’s room, she caught a glimpse of something she didn’t expect: her friend, seated on the stone floor, propped up against her bed with a bottle of whiskey in her hand.

Leah backed up and peered inside the room. Elissa was alone.

“I know this is a silly thing to ask the night before you battle a giant evil dragon, but… is everything okay?” Leah said.

Elissa didn’t even look at her. “Why can’t anything ever be simple and straightforward? Or if not simple, then at least honest about its complications. Why does there always have to be some great, deep, dark secret that I don’t find out until it’s too late?”

Leah’s eyes widened and her pulse quickened. _She can’t be talking about me_ , she thought to herself. “Whose deep dark secret are we talking about here?” she asked. Her voice wavered slightly, despite her attempt to control it. 

“The Wardens,” Elissa said with a frown. “And Morrigan. And Flemeth. Just all of it.”

“Okay,” Leah stepped around Elissa and sat next to her on the floor. “Dare I ask what their secrets are?”

Elissa handed Leah the whiskey without turning her head. Leah took a sip and handed it back. Elissa threw back a large gulp. 

“When Duncan wouldn’t explain the ritual, I told myself that it was reasonable for an order such as theirs to keep certain things amongst their members. When Daveth died, and Duncan killed Jory, I was shocked and dismayed, but I accepted that it was necessary. That sacrifices had to be made to keep Ferelden and Thedas safe.” She paused and stared off into space, furrowing her brow. “I could even come to terms with the shortened life span. But this? Every time I round a corner there’s some new and horrid detail that I never learned because my mentor was slaughtered in battle the first day I joined the order.”

“What is it, Elissa?” Leah persisted, now more worried. She was sure Elissa was not supposed to be telling her about any of this, but the liquor was on Leah’s side.

“It’s the archdemon,” Elissa said, barely above a whisper. “Its soul. If we kill the dragon, it won’t just… die. It will move to the nearest darkspawn. But if a Grey Warden slays it… it’s attracted to our tainted blood. It will enter the Grey Warden, and that will kill them both.”

“What?” Leah’s heart dropped. “Kill them both? You mean whoever kills it has to die?”

“You’ll need more of this,” Elissa handed Leah the bottle again. “That’s not everything.”

Leah accepted and took a bigger sip this time. “I’m honestly terrified of what else you’re about to say.”

Elissa took a deep breath. “Flemeth had a book.”

Leah blinked and swallowed the whiskey. “Okay, unexpected turn. You’re not a good storyteller. Who had what?”

“Flemeth. Morrigan’s mother. Witch of the Wilds…” Elissa trailed off. “You never met her. Did you ever read the stories about her?”

Leah thought through the buzz in her veins. “About _that_ Flemeth? I think so. She took vengeance on her husband, after he killed her lover. She was possessed, and became a shapeshifting witch. I think they mentioned her in _Dane and the Werewolf_. You’re not saying that Morrigan’s mother is….”

Elissa nodded. 

“But it’s just a legend! And that was centuries ago, how could she— I mean it can’t be the same person, Elissa. I’ve accepted some crazy shit the past several months, but that just can’t be right.”

“Whatever the correct details, she is in fact the person those legends and tales are based on. Morrigan asked me to kill her, to stop Flemeth from possessing Morrigan in order to continue extending her long life.” A look of remorse flooded Elissa’s face. “But I didn’t, Leah. I told Morrigan I did, but I didn’t. Flemeth gave me the book, she gave me her grimoire, and I let her go. I couldn’t do it. She saved us, Alistair and I, from Ostagar, and I just… I couldn’t…”

Leah sighed. “Okay, so what is it about this grimoire?”

Elissa took another sip of whiskey. “Morrigan found a ritual that would save Alistair and I from our fate. One that would ensure the archdemon’s essence would not pass on to either of us. Blood magic,” she hissed. 

“Well that’s good, isn’t it? Blood magic or no?” Leah asked. “What’s the catch?”

“It requires a child to be conceived,” Elissa swallowed hard. “And as I am lacking the proper equipment to do so, I had to…” She paused to wipe a tear away. “Alistair is with her now.”

Leah frowned and put her arm around her friend. “Oh Elissa. I’m sorry. That’s… so incredibly weird and awful and creepy, and I’m sorry it’s your only way to save you both.”

“I had to talk him into it.” Elissa wiped more tears away. “I had to convince the man I love to have sex with another woman so neither of us would die. What the fuck is that? Why couldn’t I have just… said no, and let the archdemon’s soul kill me? To make sure he lived? Wouldn’t that be the right thing to do? What I’ve done is selfish, Leah.”

“Hey, no! How do you think Alistair would feel if he heard you say that? You think that if you died and he found out about Morrigan’s ritual, he would say, ‘well I’m just glad that she chose death instead of asking me to do something I find incredibly unpleasant?’” Leah asked. “I know it must feel awful right now, but if it saves you both then it’s worth it.”

“What if we die anyway?” Elissa whispered. “What if we die before we can even get to the archdemon? What if it’s all for nothing?”

Leah was shocked to hear her always-upbeat friend talk this way. “That’s not _you_ talking, that’s this.” She grabbed the whiskey and moved it away. Leah forced Elissa to look at her. “You are going to save Ferelden. You and Alistair are going to save Thedas itself. That’s why we’re all here, because we believe in you. But if you give up now, then we’re doomed. None of us can defeat the archdemon. We need you.” She searched Elissa’s eyes for acknowledgement. 

“I need you too,” Elissa sniffed. “I’m thankful you’re here, Leah.”

“You’ve got me. You’ve got everybody. Don’t let this stupid ritual or the Grey Warden’s awful secrets crush you now. Not after everything you did to get this far. You can do this,” Leah said.

Leah heard footsteps. When she looked up, Alistair was in the doorway. “Hey,” she said.

Elissa wiped her eyes and turned towards him, but stayed seated and silent. 

He looked from Elissa to Leah and sighed. “I need to go set myself on fire.”

Leah grabbed the whiskey and stood. “Here,” she handed it to him.

“Thank the Maker...” Alistair took a large drink from the bottle. 

Leah leaned in and lowered her voice. “I wouldn’t let Elissa have any more. She really needs you right now.”

Alistair swallowed and looked over at Elissa, still on the floor. He glanced back up at Leah. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Thank you for staying with her.” He squeezed her shoulder. 

Alistair put the bottle down on a side table and crouched down in front of Elissa. “Would you do me the honor of standing up, so I could hold you for a while?”

Elissa gave him a small smile and held her hands out.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. She swayed a little, but he wrapped his arms around her to keep her steady. “There we are,” he sighed. 

Leah pulled the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway.

* * *

Back in her own room Leah was still restless and she paced the floor. She should have been appreciating the roof over her head, the real bed, the kitchen that was a short walk away. But compared to what they were about to face, none of that mattered.

Despite what she told Elissa, she was worried. Of course she was worried. Who wouldn’t be? All she could think about was the archdemon, about darkspawn and swords and blood and death. _What if Elissa dies? What if I die? What if we fail and we all die, and the archdemon destroys the world and I never get to—_

“May I?” Zevran’s knock at her open door interrupted Leah’s spiraling thoughts. 

She looked up and blinked in surprise. “Sure. What’s going on?”

Zevran closed the door behind him and shrugged. “Nothing. I could hear your pacing from down the hall, I came to see how you were.”

“Oh,” Leah stopped. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about that.”

“No need to apologize, my dear. I was awake anyway.”

“Nervous about tomorrow?” Leah asked.

“Nervous is not the right word. I am merely… anticipating the battle ahead.” He crossed his arms in front of him. “Are you nervous?”

“No, I’m not nervous. I’m terrified.” Leah looked off into the distance. “This is beyond anything I’ve ever done before. I’m afraid it might be the end of me. The end of all of us.” She took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed, wringing her hands.

“It could be.” Zevran uncrossed his arms and sat beside her.

“You’re not helping,” Leah said. 

Zevran sighed. “Would it help to lie to you? I could tell you that good always triumphs over evil, and that is why we will win.”

“No. I know that’s not true, anyway.”

Zevran nodded. “We could fail tomorrow. The archdemon is a powerful enemy. The Grey Wardens are decimated. There will be many darkspawn between us and the dragon. But…”

“But what?” Leah turned to him, desperate for hope.

“But it still has three Grey Wardens to go through, and all of their allies. Dwarves, elves, mages, and soldiers. A witch, a bard, a Qunari. A quite talented, dashing assassin. And one fierce, stubborn woman who would not let her friends die as long as she breathed.” He smiled at her. 

Leah smiled back and sighed, looking down at her hands. “Damn right.”

Zevran reached over and took her right hand in both of his “So do not despair. We may not stop the archdemon. But we will give it one hell of a fight.”

Leah chuckled and peered over at him. “You’re good at this.”

“What?” 

“Inspiring speeches.” She glanced down at their entwined hands. “Zevran, I’m—”

He squeezed her hand, released it and shook his head. “There’s no need.”

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” Leah said. 

Zevran grinned. “Of course I do. And there’s no need.” He gazed at her and pushed her loose hair behind her ear, running his fingers and eyes over the dyed ends. “I like this green color in your hair. You look like some sort of forest goddess.”

Leah snorted. “I don’t feel like a goddess right now.”

Zevran looked her in the eye again, but this time with a hunger she recognized well. “Would you like to?”

Leah’s breath caught in her throat. She cleared it to regain her composure. “What happened to not tempting fate?”

Zevran exhaled slowly. “After we defeat the archdemon tomorrow, I will be leaving Ferelden. My oath to the Warden will be fulfilled, and before the Crows find me again I would like a taste of freedom.” 

“...Oh. Right. Of course,” Leah said.

Zevran moved his hand from her hair to caress her cheek.

Leah’s eyelids lowered briefly, enjoying the sensation. She opened her eyes again to meet Zevran’s gaze. “I guess we never really had a proper goodbye. And we are both awake. And might die tomorrow.”

“It would be worth it if my last night was spent with you,” Zevran murmured, moving his other hand to her thigh. 

Leah’s breathing quickened and she pulled Zevran to her in a long kiss. 

He pulled her closer, then rolled her underneath him on the bed. His lips found a sensitive spot below her jaw and she emitted a soft moan. 

“Those darkspawn will have to go through me to reach one hair on your head,” Zevran whispered in her ear.

Leah laughed with her eyes closed against his caresses. “If you recall, I can take care of myself.”

“Oh, I know,” his hands moved up beneath her shirt. “I just can’t bear the thought of one drop of their tainted blood falling upon your skin.” His breath warmed her ear as his hands continued their path, pulling the tunic over her head. 

Leah returned the favor, relieving Zevran of his shirt and pulling him down to her in another deep kiss. She pulled away and ran her hands along his naked back. “So. Do you want this fast or slow?” She grinned.

Zevran chuckled near her lips. “As slow as I can bear it.”

“Good answer,” Leah smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

Afterwards, Leah and Zevran laid back on the bed to catch their breath.

“Well, you do keep your promises,” Leah said. “Do you think we missed the battle?”

Zevran chuckled. “If so, then we might as well keep going,” He turned toward her and gripped her by the waist. 

Leah laughed and gave his arm a playful squeeze. “I don’t think I could even if that were true,” she sighed. “There I go, already thinking about the archdemon again.”

Zevran laid back once more, his right arm under his head. “It isn’t easy to forget.”

“At least we did for a while. A long while,” Leah smiled as she felt sleep start to creep up in her temporarily peaceful state. 

Zevran looked over and saw her eyelids start to lower. “Perhaps I should go and let you sleep.” He started to sit up.

Leah’s eyes opened again. “No, you don’t have to do that.” She placed a hand on his arm to stop him. When he laid back down she turned towards him on her side and draped one arm over his torso. “Stay.”

“Are you sure? You aren’t worried what our companions might think?” Zevran asked.

Leah shut her eyes again. “I think they have more important things to worry about. But no, I don’t care. I never cared what they thought.”

Zevran relaxed more into her embrace, then shifted to put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. “Then I will stay.”

“Good,” Leah said. As she began to doze off, she felt a small warmth deep in her chest. Like the smallest ember thawing out the ice around it. She sighed and nuzzled into Zevran before giving in to the peaceful sleep awaiting her.

* * *

Hours later, Leah stirred at the sound of a creaking door. She turned in her bed to find Zevran gone, but his warmth lingering. She sighed and fell back against the pillow and looked toward the small single window in her room. The sun was just starting to rise.

She pulled the blanket over her shoulders and rolled to one side, towards the window. She watched the sun’s rays grow stronger.

“Here we go,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ *** ~ Asschabs! ~ *** ~


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final battle against the Archdemon. Leah defends Denerim against stray darkspawn while Leah pursues her enemy. Afterwards, Leah has a decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken forever to write this chapter, and I wish it were longer. But real life has taken a hefty toll. For now, to the Dragon Age Fan Fiction society I submit this small chapter as closure to the Fifth Blight. We're drawing closer and closer to learning more about Leah's story, and I'm excited for it.

* * *

Dawn broke and a crowd of soldiers gathered outside the gates of Denerim led by Elissa, Alistair, and their companions. 

Inside her armor Leah was wound tight to the point of breaking. She was so lost in her own anxiety that it took her a minute to notice Zevran looking over at her with obvious concern.

She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but was certain it appeared as convincing as it felt. 

Alistair and Elissa conferred, then Alistair climbed the stairs to a wooden platform just outside the gates to address their forces. Elissa followed and stood next to him.

“Before us stands the might of the darkspawn horde!” He gestured towards the dark shifting mass that approached the gates. “Gaze upon them now, but fear them not. The woman beside me is a native of Ferelden, now risen to the ranks of the Grey Wardens. She is proof that glory is within reach of us all. She has survived despite the odds, and without her, none of us would be here!”

The soldiers around them shouted with approval. 

Elissa stepped forward to address the crowd. “But today is not about me. This is about the survival of Denerim, and of Ferelden itself. Today we stand between the darkspawn and the rest of Thedas. We will avenge the death of King Cailan, and protect the innocent people of this land from the Blight that threatens them. That is the oath the Grey Wardens have taken; the sacrifice that we make to protect the land that we love. Today I ask you to do the same. Fight for your families, your friends and loved ones. Fight for Ferelden!”

The crowd roared even louder than before. They stomped their feet and metal rang against metal in imitation of applause. 

Elissa and Alistair descended the stairs and rejoined their companions. The group moved through the soldiers to be closest to the approaching darkspawn. As they marched, Leah heard lieutenants and sergeants shouting orders. 

When they breached the outer edge of the soldiers, Leah caught her first unobstructed view of the horde. Up until now they had only fought small groups of darkspawn. Compared to the teeming mass of rotting creatures before her, those skirmishes had been nothing. 

The darkspawn growled, screeched and cackled when they saw the army before them. 

Panic threatened to overwhelm Leah, but she fought it and took deep breaths. _You can do this_ , she thought to herself. _You have to. If you die now, you’ll never get to go home._

One of the darkspawn roared and lifted a sword above its head. 

On their side, Elissa lifted her own weapon and shouted for them to attack. 

The rest was a blur. When the order to fight came, Leah’s training and experience took over. It was combat, and her body knew what to do despite her trepidation. Her focus narrowed, and she began to systematically identify and dispatch enemies. She no longer felt the enormity of the horde, only the necessity of killing the darkspawn one by one as they appeared in front of her. 

Midway through the battle, a new roar filled the sky. Leah looked up and saw a giant dragon flying into the city. She knew it had to be the archdemon. Many darkspawn had already made their way into Denerim despite their efforts, but a number were already dead at their feet. Once the area in front of the gates was clear, Elissa gathered her companions for a new plan. Riordan approached them. 

“We’re doing better than I hoped,” he said. 

“That will change quickly,” Sten muttered.

Oghren growled. “Bloody nug runners! We’re outnumbered three to one!”

“What are we to do now, Riordan?” Wynne asked. “You have a plan, I assume?”

Riordan nodded. “The army will not last long, so we'll need to move quickly to reach the archdemon.” He turned to Elissa. “I suggest taking Alistair and no more than two others with you into the city. Anyone you don't bring with you can remain here to prevent more darkspawn from entering Denerim on our tails.”

“Fine. But how exactly are we going to fight a flying dragon?” Elissa asked.

“We're going to need to reach a high point in the city. I'm thinking the top of Fort Drakon might work,” Riordan said.

“The top of...? You want to draw the dragon's attention?” Alistair balked.

Riordan sighed. “We have little choice, though I warn you that as soon as we engage the beast it will call its generals to help it. I can sense two in Denerim. You may wish to seek them out before going to Fort Drakon.”

“It would stop the darkspawn in the city from doing a lot of harm,” Leliana said to Elissa.

“It may also waste resources trying to find them,” Riordan pointed out. “The decision is up to you, Elissa.”

Elissa looked between Leliana, Alistair and Riordan. She pursed her lips. “Do you know where these generals are?”

“Neither of them are near Fort Drakon currently, but there are too many darkspawn here to tell you more. There are already several units of our allies within the city by now. They may be able to come to your assistance if you call them, but their strength will be limited. Now, who do you wish to take with you into the city?”

Elissa took a breath and thought. “I'll take Alistair, Wynne and Leliana.” She looked over at Leah and the others. “It'll be left to Leah, Zevran, Sten, Oghren and Morrigan to hold the line.”

Bones whined.

Elissa smiled and crouched down to speak to her mabari. “Bones, you have the most important job of all,” her voice wavered. “Make sure no more darkspawn get into the city, and protect our friends. I'll feel better leaving them if I know you're here.”

Bones grumbled and gave her a long look. 

Leah got the feeling he knew Elissa was trying to protect him. But in the end, he gave an affirmative low bark and licked Elissa’s face.

“That is a relief.” Elissa gave a forced chuckle and rose from her crouch.

“Fair enough,” Riordan said. “You will all remain here and assist in keeping more darkspawn from coming in the gates behind us.” He faced Elissa. “Nothing you have done has prepared you for what you face now. May the Maker watch over you.”

“And you,” Elissa whispered.

Riordan walked off.

Morrigan approached Elissa. “After all that?! I will not be going with you?” she complained, hands on her hips.

Elissa frowned a little. “I need you here, Morrigan.”

“That may have worked on the dog, but I am not so easily convinced.” Morrigan sighed and crossed her arms. “I would still see this to the end, but so be it. Let us part ways now. I will stay and ensure the rest of our companions do not perish. You go your way to your destiny, and afterward I will go my way to mine.”

“Thank you.” Elissa choked on the words. “For everything.”

Morrigan shook her head. “Go, then. Slay the archdemon. And live gloriously, my friend.”

Elissa looked down with a sad smile.

Oghren stepped into Morrigan’s place. “This is it, Warden. ‘When from the blood of battle the Stone has fed, let the heroes prevail and the blighters lie dead.’ As one of the blighters, I sodding salute you. Let's show them our hearts, and then show them theirs.”

Elissa chuckled and nodded. “See you on the other side, Oghren.”

He grinned and moved back towards the gate. 

Sten glanced at the dwarf, then back at Elissa. “Are you ready? We have reached the battlefield at last.” 

“I am. Thank you for your help getting here, Sten,” Elissa said, her brow furrowed. 

“I have done nothing. You have carried us this far. Do not doubt that,” he said. 

Elissa stood up straighter, but almost looked like she was going to cry. “I appreciate that. But you have done plenty. Exactly what you promised. I would ask that you not neglect that detail when you return to your homeland.”

Sten’s expression barely changed, but he nodded at Elissa before following Oghren.

Leliana replaced the Qunari. “So, this is it... this is the end. We've come so far. It's strange knowing that all our fates will be decided in a matter of hours. We stand on the precipice, before the greatest battle of our age... I wonder if the heroes of old ever felt like this.” 

Elissa took a breath, then tilted her head. “Hmm. I suppose we'll never know. Are you afraid?” she asked. 

“Not in the slightest. We go to fight for a good cause and there is nowhere else I would rather be. You are a dear, dear friend, and I will stand with you, to whatever end. This day, we will forge a legend of our own,” Leliana said. 

“Thank you,” Elissa gave her a small smile.

As Leliana left, Alistair put an arm around Elissa. “So... this could be it. Soon this will be finished, one way or another.” 

Elissa swallowed. “We are both going to make it through this.”

Alistair gave her a half smile. “Just remember that Morrigan’s ritual doesn't protect us from getting squished by the Archdemon. So let's kick its ass!”

Elissa gave him a half-hearted smile. “Yeah.” She nodded. “I love you, you know.”

Alistair cupped her cheek with one hand. “And I love you. Always.” He glanced at Leah and moved towards Leliana and Wynne. 

Elissa took a moment to collect herself, then walked over to Leah. 

"What have you gotten me into this time?" Leah asked as she raised an eyebrow.

Elissa smiled. "The usual. Fighting monsters. Saving the world. Feel up for it?”

Leah raised an eyebrow. “You’re asking for once, that’s an improvement.” She took a breath and looked at Elissa. “You saved my life. More than that, you’ve been my best friend since… all of this. We’ve been through a lot, and I owe you more than I can ever repay. I think killing a few hundred monsters might be a good start.”

“There’s nothing to repay,” Elissa said, her expression serious. “If anything, I owe you. For believing in me, and helping us along this insane journey.”

Leah gave Elissa a long look. She shook her head. “No. You deserved every bit of it. We all believe in you. That’s something you earn by being a leader worth believing in. Don’t ever forget that.”

Elissa shut her eyes for a moment, then looked up at Leah. “That’s been difficult to accept at times. But I know you wouldn’t say that lightly. Thank you.” Elissa hugged Leah to her. 

Leah held her tightly in return. “I’ll see you soon. Once you’ve killed that archdemon.”

Elissa pulled back and nodded. “See you soon. And keep that shield up. I won’t lose you now,” she said. 

Leah gave her a smile.

Elissa joined Alistair, Wynne and Leliana, and they began their journey further into the city.

Leah took her place with the rest of the party and the remaining soldiers, their eyes on the horizon for more darkspawn. 

After a few minutes, an officer ran up to them. “A large group of darkspawn have broken away from the battle! They're charging this way! They'll be here any minute!”

The officer had barely given his report when the aforementioned darkspawn reached the gate. Among them was a giant ogre, moving at a leisurely pace in the middle of a swarm of his fellow creatures. The five companions and the soldiers that survived the first battle faced the oncoming enemy, weapons ready. 

“We must not let them enter the city!” Sten shouted. “Kill every last one of them!”

Leah focused on the first line of darkspawn, to clear them out before the ogre reached them.

Sten had other ideas, and charged straight for the giant horned beast. 

Leah traded blows with the darkspawn in front of her, then slashed its throat when an opening came. She watched Sten and sighed. While he was the best person to draw the ogre’s attention, she wished he had waited just a little longer for more backup.

The ogre swiped at Sten, who responded by drawing a deep gash across the monstrous hand. It roared and grabbed Sten with its other hand. The ogre tightened its grip, squeezing Sten in his armor. 

Leah broke into a run, dodging the rest of the combat. She circled around behind the ogre, then slashed at the back of its ankles. The first cut made it drop Sten, but before she could get a full swing in on the other ankle, the ogre pulled its leg away. Leah saw the foot barrel towards her. She was about to get kicked in the face by a foot that was almost the same size that she was. 

“Oh fuck!” Leah instinctually raised her shield, but had no time to get out of the way. The ogre’s heel hit her shield full-force, and she wasn’t strong enough to keep the edge of it from hitting her in the face along the way. 

She flew several feet and landed hard on her back. Her sword arm flew to one side and hit the ground hard enough to knock her weapon away. Leah’s head swam. She could feel blood dripping down the side of her face. As she regained her senses she felt around on the ground for her sword and panicked when she realized it had landed a couple feet from her hand. 

One of the darkspawn warriors noted the loss of her sword at the exact same time. For a split second Leah and the warrior looked at each other. He grinned and ran towards her, sword held high. Leah rolled to her own weapon, and thrust it up and through the darkspawn’s chest just in time. He stilled and twitched on her blade. Leah pushed him off her sword with one foot before she flopped back down on the ground and winced. 

When she finally stood back up, the ogre was dead and Sten was a little crushed, but otherwise fine. 

After killing a couple more darkspawn, Leah paused. She had felt an odd shift in the air around her that sent a red flag to her brain. A few feet in front of her one of their own soldiers had his back to her. Before she could process what was happening she saw him jerk in pain. A genlock assassin became visible in front of her eyes. 

It turned to her and flicked the blood from his daggers with what passed for a cruel grin on its horrific face. 

Leah’s breath quickened. She was at a disadvantage against such an agile foe, but she tried to dig deep into what she had learned from sparring with Zevran. She met the assassin’s daggers with sword and shield as fast as she could, grunting with every movement. She tried to stun him with the pommel of her blade, but it barely registered. 

It was inevitable; her arms grew tired, and the genlock was too fast for her. Her sword met one of his daggers and an instant later the other dagger sunk under her shield arm. Leah shrieked in pain. The dagger she had blocked with her sword quickly recovered and plunged into her opposite side. Despite the pain, she shoved her sword into the assassin’s throat. His eyes bulged in surprise, then narrowed. He attempted a growl, but it came out as more of a gurgle before his eyes rolled back and he fell to the ground. 

Leah screamed as the second dagger was pulled out by the weight of the genlock’s body. She fell to her knees, trying to hold a hand to her side. She was hampered by the matching wound under her arm, and she was bleeding out fast. 

Movement in front of her prompted her to look up. A hurlock emissary marched toward her to finish her off. 

Leah had nothing left. Her life was ebbing away, and she had no strength to stand and fight him. A ragged breath emerged from her lips.

The emissary gathered a spell and held his staff aloft. 

Leah’s eyes widened in anticipation of the blow. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Before the emissary could finish, a blur of teeth, claws, and fur flew at him from Leah’s right. 

In an instant the hurlock was on the ground with Bones’ jaw clenched tight around its neck. Bones snarled and shook his head back and forth before snapping the hurlock’s neck with one final jerk. The mabari breathed heavy and spat out the darkspawn’s blood. 

Leah almost cried right there. She felt someone rush to her side and put an arm around her to hold her up.

“Where are your health potions?” Zevran asked her.

Leah reached for the pouch she kept around her waist and was able to pull out a flask, but dropped it. She was too weak to grip it properly. 

Before she or Zevran could do anything else, Leah felt a steady, cool tingling energy fill her from the inside out. Her head fell back and she shut her eyes. When it was over she looked around and spotted Morrigan’s watchful eye from a couple dozen feet away. 

Leah gingerly touched the wounds she had received from the assassin. They weren’t gone, but the bleeding had stopped and the worst of it was knitted back together. She looked back at Morrigan and nodded her thanks. The mage gave an almost imperceptible nod of her own and returned her attention to the rest of the battle.

“You should still take this,” Zevran said, handing her the health potion she had dropped.

“Not gonna argue with that,” Leah rasped and threw back the elfroot concoction.. 

Bones approached Leah, his tongue out and his eyes concerned. He gave a little whine. 

“I’m alright now, boy,” Leah said. She massaged his head and neck. “That’s the second time you’ve saved my life.”

Bones barked in affirmation and licked her face. 

“You look like you could use some healing too.” Leah noticed the cuts scattered across his flank. “Lucky your mistress gave me something special for you.” She pulled some mabari treats from her pouch and held them out. They had the same healing power on Bones that elfroot potion did for her. 

Bones was gentle but eager in retrieving them from her palm. 

“That’s it,” Leah said. She resumed petting him while he ate, and watched as his wounds were reduced. “You’ve more than earned it.”

By then there were only a few stray darkspawn left, and the rest of their squad made quick work of them. A messenger emerged from further inside the city and ran up to them.

“Are the gates are secured?” the messenger asked the companions. 

“For the moment, yes,” Sten responded.

The messenger nodded. “I’ll send word right away!” He sprinted off back into Denerim. 

Not a minute after, a bright tower of light erupted from the top of Fort Drakon and everyone's eyes were drawn toward it. 

Leah's heart skipped a beat. 

The next second, the light exploded across the sky. She could feel the reverberation deep in her chest. 

When she caught her breath, she looked around for Morrigan, but she was already gone. She grabbed Zevran by the arm. "What does that mean? Did they... is she..." Leah couldn't finish the thought. Her eyes were already beginning to tear up again. 

Zevran shook his head. "I don't know, but let's find out. Come on!"

They led the rest of their companions through what remained of Denerim, slaying any stray darkspawn who attempted to flee. 

When they reached Fort Drakon, a small party was already exiting through the first floor. The tension in Leah dissipated and she doubled over in relief. 

Elissa was alive. She leaned on Alistair as they descended the stairs. Leliana and Wynne followed, also exhausted and injured but alive. 

"You're alright!" Leah exclaimed. "I was so afraid when I saw that explosion..."

"I'll be fine," Elissa breathed heavily. "Just had all of the air knocked out of me after a long and lethal battle, but I'll be alright."

"You are a stubborn, stubborn woman. I told you to let me take the last blow," Alistair said.

"You know me," Elissa wheezed. "I wanted all the glory for myself."

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," Leah said.

"No promises," Elissa tried to laugh, but winced instead. "Ow."

"You deserve that," Alistair said. He turned to Leah. "So, Morrigan. Is she..."

"Gone," Leah said. "We saw the light from the top of the fort, and when I turned around she was gone."

"I thought as much," Elissa said. She groaned. "Wynne, I hate to ask, but..."

"Oh, so now you're willing to stop and receive some healing?" The mage sighed. "Hold still this time." She pulled out a bottle of mana, drank it, then cast a healing spell over the entire party. 

Leah felt the soothing magic sweep over her, and what was left of the wounds she received healed further. "Oh I could have used more of that earlier," she said.

"Are you alright?" Elissa asked, standing straighter than before.

Leah waved her off. "Yeah, I'm fine. You know, there were these darkspawn, and they were trying to kill us. Can you imagine? Kind of rude if you ask me."

Elissa let out a breathy laugh. "Sounds outrageous."

"I thought so," Leah agreed. "So... what now?"

* * *

The group walked to the palace, where they were eagerly awaited by Anora, Eamon, and the remainder of their troops and allies.

Anora declared Elissa the Hero of Ferelden and offered her a boon, but she only requested that the sacrifices of the Warden's not be forgotten again. Anora bequeathed Amaranthine, the Howes former arling, to the Wardens. 

During the ceremony Leah stayed farther back in the room to watch everyone. Elissa’s companions were scattered in various corners, either surrounded by others or avoided by them in Sten’s case. It was a perk of being an unrecognizable soldier to be able to observe others without being distracted, and Leah took advantage of it. 

Elissa moved throughout the room, speaking with companions and greeting others who had come to congratulate her on her victory. 

A new person entered the throne room, and Leah’s head turned. For a moment she didn’t recognize them, but then a memory flooded back to her. A dinner in Highever. Hair the same color as Elissa’s. 

“Fergus,” Leah said. 

At the sound of his name he turned towards her, but she could tell he didn’t remember. His attention was drawn elsewhere within seconds as Elissa recognized her brother and came running to him. 

“Oh Maker!” she cried as she hugged him. “I thought you were dead! I can’t believe this!”

Fergus let out a sigh of relief as he cradled her head against him. “I was worried for you as well.” He pulled back and looked her over. “My little sister, a Grey Warden. A hero.”

Elissa wiped her tears away. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he said. “It has been… a long, strange journey.”

“You’re telling me,” she choked back a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob.

“Father would have been so proud of you,” Fergus said. “I know I am.”

“I should have looked harder for you,” Elissa said. 

“To be honest, I think it might have been a waste of your time. I never even made it to Ostagar.” Fergus looked down, then back up at Elissa. “We were still scouting in the Wilds when we were attacked by a party of darkspawn. Most of my men were killed. I woke up two weeks later in a Chasind hut, wounded and feverish. By the time I was able to sneak out of the Wilds, you were already marching to Denerim. I tried to get word to Highever. You can imagine what happened, I suppose.”

Elissa’s brow furrowed. “Yes, I unfortunately can.” She frowned. “I’m so sorry about Oren and Oriana,” she whispered. 

Fergus’ face fell. “Yes. I’m trying not to think too much about them.” His expression morphed into one of hatred. “Howe was a greedy, traitorous bastard. I just wish I'd been there to help you kill him.” 

“Me too,” Elissa said. “But rest assured, I slaughtered the man for what he did to our family. To us.”

Fergus nodded. “At least Amaranthine now belongs to the Grey Wardens. There's some justice in that, I think.” He sighed and cupped Elissa’s cheek. “I need to go back to Highever. See if I can clean up the mess that Howe made of it. I will see you soon, I hope?”

“Just try and keep me away,” Elissa said. 

He gave her a small smile. “Good. Highever won't be the same without... everyone around. Take care of yourself, you hear? Or I'll find you and nag you like Mother did until you're ready to tear out your hair.”

“I’d give up everything to still have Mother around to nag me,” Elissa admitted. 

“As would I,” Fergus said. He kissed Elissa on the forehead and left the throne room. 

Elissa stood still and watched him walk away. 

Leah approached her, and Elissa almost jumped.

“Leah! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she said.

“What, because you were so focused on reuniting with the brother you thought was dead? I’m insulted,” Leah sarcasm was light and obvious.

Elissa chuckled. “I can’t believe it. I’m so grateful he’s alive, but so sad for him at the same time. He’s the teyrn of Highever now. He has to go back there; back to the place where his wife and son were murdered.”

“He still has you,” Leah offered. “I know you won’t let him go through this alone.”

“No,” Elissa said. “But I’m afraid I can’t be there as much as I’d like. There’s still so much to do, so many loose ends. And we have to rebuild the Grey Wardens…” Elissa smoothed her hair back from her face. “Even with the archdemon gone, it’s all so overwhelming.”

Leah thought for a moment. She looked around the room. The rest of their companions were already moving on to new things; new roles, new adventures. While Leliana made plans with someone from the Chantry, Anora was arranging for Wynne to stay as an advisor. Sten would leave for his homeland. Oghren was in an intimate conversation with Felsi. Leah caught Zevran’s eye as he fell back into the shadows and left the room. 

Leah thought about her own options. She could return to Highever as well. She could even go back to Redcliffe and help them rebuild. But something told her that neither of those choices would lead her where she wanted. She was no closer to finding a way home than when she first arrived, and revisiting places she had already been would not assist in that goal. More than that, in her heart she wanted to be there for her friend. 

“Well if you need some help, I have it on good authority from the Hero of Ferelden that I’m really good with a sword.” Leah grinned.

Elissa looked up and laughed. “Is that so? That’s quite a claim.”

Leah shrugged. “I know the pointy end from the pommel. Does that qualify me for duty?”

Elissa smiled. “Are you sure? You could move on somewhere else. Or go back to Highever. You could have a normal life away from the chaos of Grey Wardens who take advantage of your friendship.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “You’ve never done any such thing. And yes, I’m sure. I’m starting to think normal lives are overrated. Wherever it is I’m supposed to go, I haven’t been there yet. And there are worse ways to get there than in the company of good friends.”

Elissa nodded. “Wisely stated. In that case, I accept. Let’s see what adventures await us.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah helps Elissa and Alistair finish quests left over from the Blight, then follows Elissa to Amaranthine where she serves as the Warden Commander. Multiple surprises await them in the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken FOREVER to write, and I'm sorry. It's mainly not having time or brain-space, and partly having to figure out where Leah lives in DAO: Awakening. Her story is not Elissa's story, so I've had to spend a great deal of time thinking about what Leah is doing during this time. What I have now is a good start, and I hope the rest will both make sense and be surprising at the same time. Either way, Kirkwall looms in our future.

Elissa, Alistair and Leah plotted a route across Ferelden based on the remaining tasks Elissa had otherwise put off while they focused on Loghain and the darkspawn. Some parts of their journey were as simple as handing off an item or a message, but others were more dangerous and meant facing even more darkspawn, demons and other creatures. Some also forced them to face difficult truths. 

A journey back to Ostagar led them to letters that suggested Arl Eamon was pushing Cailan to leave Anora because she hadn’t produced an heir. Even more surprising was the indication that the new queen of Ferelden might have been the Empress of Orlais if Cailan had survived. 

Naturally, the revelations set Leah off on more rants about the stupidity of monarchy. Anora wasn’t Leah’s favorite person, but the men in her life had all used her for their own devices, then plotted to cast her aside when they decided she wasn’t useful anymore. The phrase “That’s bullshit” graced Leah’s lips many times on their way out of Ostagar.

Then, during a favor for a man named Levi Dryden, they explored an abandoned Grey Warden base called Soldier’s Peak. Many years ago it was the site of a rebellion against Arland Theirin, the then-king of Ferelden. He had imprisoned his cousin Sophia Dryden —ancestor to Levi— for her equal claim to the throne and then begrudgingly allowed her to join the Grey Wardens. At the urging of some of the Banns, Sophia used the Grey Wardens as an army against Arland’s tyranny. He slaughtered them, declared them outlaws, and killed many Couslands for being allied with Sophia and plotting against him. 

Leah did not stop her declarations of “That is bullshit” as they explored the castle. Elissa and Alistair found it difficult to argue.

In the castle’s tower, they found a Warden mage who had gone to extreme lengths to experiment with magic and darkspawn blood. He discovered a way to unnaturally extend his life and stave off his Calling, and because of this Elissa had permitted him to live with the stipulation that he only perform ethical research in the future. 

It seemed like a huge gamble to Leah, but she also couldn’t blame her. She knew that in private, Elissa grappled with the high cost of being a Grey Warden, especially now that she had Alistair. If there was a way to extend their lives, not to mention save the lives of countless other future recruits, it would change everything.

* * *

Once Elissa, Alistair and Leah were finished, the time had come for Elissa to take over as Warden Commander and head to Vigil’s Keep in Amaranthine.

After the Archdemon was killed, Orlais sent some of their Grey Wardens to Ferelden to help deal with the aftermath. They used Vigil’s Keep as their base, and had already put out a call for volunteers to help rebuild the Fereldan order.

As much as Alistair hated to leave Elissa, he decided to take on a different role. Despite the head start the Orlesian Wardens gave them, Ferelden needed to continued to seek out recruits, and there were still small packs of darkspawn that roved the country. So Alistair set off to travel the land, just as Duncan had before him. Leah suspected it helped him feel closer to his late mentor, even if it was difficult to be apart from Elissa. He took Bones with him for companionship, so there were tearful goodbyes all around, human and canine alike.

Leah chose to follow Elissa once again, and help her keep order in Amaranthine. It was bound to be a difficult task given Elissa’s history with the Howes. But Leah still had no better paths to travel. She hoped Amaranthine might lead her to new clues about her arrival in Thedas.

* * *

When Elissa and Leah were ready to head to Amaranthine, the Orlesian Wardens sent one of their new recruits, Mhairi, to escort Elissa to the Keep.

During their journey, Leah found Mhairi to be loyal and earnest, but also stiff and formal. She tried to remind herself that Elissa was Mhairi’s commander. This kind of behavior was not only expected, but preferable. Still, it made for lackluster conversation while on the road. Leah did discover that Mhairi had joined the army as a teenager, and been knighted for her service, which was impressive. Clearly she was doing something right to have been given that honor. 

As they passed by the farms and homes just outside Vigil’s Keep, Mhairi paused. “That’s strange.” She furrowed her brow.

“What is it?” Elissa asked.

“There should have been Wardens out here to greet us. They wouldn’t have simply… forgotten. They knew to watch for us. Something isn’t right,” Mhairi said, and looked at Elissa with concern on her face. 

Elissa pondered this. “Let’s keep going. Maybe they’re on their way.”

Mhairi didn’t look convinced. 

Just outside the gate to the keep, they spotted someone. Instead of a welcoming party, it was a man chased by darkspawn. 

“”Help!” he screamed.

“Elissa, your castle seems to have a darkspawn infestation,” Leah said.

“Story of my life,” Elissa responded.

The three warriors dispatched the small group of darkspawn with ease. When the last one was dead on the ground, they approached the man.

“It’s you!” he said. “The Hero of Ferelden! Oh, thank the Maker!”

“Where are the other Wardens?” Elissa asked. 

“There was someone right behind me, a mage! He might have been a Warden, I don’t know. All I heard were screams and people dying. I got out as fast as I could and ran into these…” He looked down at the dead darkspawn. “You need to help them! You need to do something!”

“We’ll take care of it. You get to safety,” Elissa told him.

“I’ll see if I can’t find some help. There has to be a patrol on the road.” He ran off behind them.

“We don’t have a lot of time, Commander,” Mhairi said.

“No. And it’s a little too convenient that they attacked our base of operations. That’s not a random, wandering group of darkspawn.”

“You mean they planned this? Do they do that?” Leah asked. 

“They follow the archdemon during a Blight, but that’s over. How could they be so organized?” Mhairi shook her head and looked off towards the keep. “I don’t understand.”

“Perhaps something else is leading them.” Elissa murmured.

“That’s a frightening thought,” Mhairi said.

Elissa nodded. “Let’s keep moving.”

“Right!” Mhairi declared. “Let’s teach these evil bastards a lesson.”

Leah cringed and followed Elissa and Mhairi towards the keep.

On their way through the surrounding farms, they fought more darkspawn. There were still a few Vigil’s soldiers alive, which Leah felt was a good sign.

“There must be Wardens alive further inside, right? If these soldiers survived?” Leah asked Elissa.

“To be fair, the soldiers would not have survived if we hadn’t come along. They were severely outnumbered,” Elissa grimaced. 

Leah gave her head a quick shake. “Say that again? For a moment I thought I heard something pessimistic come out of your mouth. That can’t be right.”

“Is this really the time for jokes?” Elissa gave her a withering look.

“No, not at all. That’s sort of my thing, ill-timed jokes. Are you suffering from memory loss now?”

Before Elissa could respond, Mhairi interrupted.

“How did the Wardens not sense the darkspawn coming? I don’t understand it!”

“Indeed,” Elissa agreed. “Something very strange is going on. But for now we need to keep moving and see who else is alive.”

“Right! They won’t get away with this!” Mhairi proclaimed.

Leah gave Elissa a wide-eyed look and a subtle shake of her head. She mouthed “What’s with her?”

Elissa just sighed. “Leave her alone,” she whispered to Leah.

* * *

They continued through the courtyard looking for a way to open the main gate and enter the keep itself. So far they had not found any Wardens.

In the towers surrounding the gate, Elissa opened a door into one room to find a mage setting a darkspawn aflame. The creature fell amidst several other bodies, some of them human with the templar insignia on their armor. 

The mage turned to the three women. “Er… I didn’t do it.”

“Didn’t do what, exactly?” Elissa asked.

“The templars. That was the darkspawn. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not broken up about them dying, to be perfectly honest. Biff there made the funniest gurgle when he went down.” The mage chuckled. 

“So you killed these darkspawn yourself?”

“Of course. Well, they helped. A little. Before they tragically died. I am Anders, at your service— mage, and wanted apostate.”

“At least he’s honest,” Leah commented. 

“An apostate? At Vigil’s Keep?” Mhairi said.

“You weren’t here when we arrived. I’m sure I would have remembered such a lovely woman as yourself,” Anders smirked.

Mhairi blushed, but scoffed at him.

Anders continued. “We were just stopping here on our way back to the tower. Just a short rest, they said, and now they’re dead. Such a shame.”

Elissa shook her head. “Look we don’t have time to discuss this.”

“True,” Anders agreed. “These darkspawn don’t leave much time for chit-chat, do they? Well, tell you what. I'll help you and we can discuss what comes later... later, once all these bastards are properly put down, yes?”

“Agreed. Follow me,” Elissa gestured forward.

* * *

They cleared a few more rooms before they reached the top of the ramparts, and were able to open the gate. When they did, several darkspawn emerged. A dwarf on the other side of the ramparts called down to the creatures.

“Oh, we’re scared now. Don’t come over here. Ha!” the dwarf said. 

The darkspawn went after him, then exploded into dozens of pieces before the party’s eyes. 

“Wow,” Leah breathed. “Can he come with us too? I like him.”

The dwarf still hadn’t acknowledged them. He called down to the remaining darkspawn who hadn’t been obliterated. “It’ll take more than that to kill us, beasties. Come again if you dare!” The dwarf ran off into the keep.

The party entered the castle and cleared any rooms they could find. In one of the larger rooms, they discovered several more darkspawn and a familiar red-haired dwarf. 

“Oghren?” Elissa said in disbelief.

In the middle of his life and death battle, Oghren looked over at Elissa and Leah and waved with a big smile on his face. They all worked together to kill the darkspawn, and afterward Oghren ambled over.

“A-ha! There you are!” Oghren chuckled. “When these darkspawn showed up, I thought, ‘just wait until the new commander gets here and you'll all be spitting teeth out of your arses!' Followed the screaming, and sure enough, here you are. Good on ya!”

“What in the world are you doing here?” Leah asked.

“Doubting your eyes, huh? I get like that, after the fifth bottle or so. Came here thinking I might try my hand at becoming a bona fide Grey Warden.”

“He was here when I left. I can't believe the Wardens didn't kick him out.” Mhairi gave him a disdainful frown. 

“Hey! If it isn't the recruit with the great rack!” Oghren greeted her. 

“Yes. A prize for the Wardens to be sure,” Mhairi said. 

“Hey!” Leah objected. “I mean… yeah, that’s gross, Oghren. But he’s a good fighter. And I know I’m glad he’s here.”

Oghren gave her a wide smile and chuckled. “I know, I know, too good to be true, right? Hey…” he gestured to Anders. “Who’s the mage? Boyfriend? Should I leave you two alone?”

“Okay, maybe only a little glad.” Leah scowled.

“Wow. A dwarf that smells like a brewery. You never see that anywhere,” Anders quipped.

“Heh. A mage comedian. Thought those normally died young,” Oghren retorted. 

“It is good to see you again,” Elissa said when she finally had a chance.

“I find that hard to believe,” Anders said.

“As do I,” Mhairi chimed in.

Oghren was undeterred. “Let's go introduce some darkspawn arses to my foot. Only polite thing to do.”

* * *

With Oghren along, they continued on their path and eventually found a seriously wounded Grey Warden sitting on the ground in a hallway.

“..Mhairi?” the man said. 

“Rowland!” Mhairi ran over and crouched down next to him. She turned to Elissa. “Commander, Rowland was a knight recruited from Denerim like me. We must do something for him!”

“He looks beyond healing magic. Maybe a shot of whiskey for the pain?” Anders offered.

“I like the way you think,” Oghren said. 

Mhairi wheeled on them. “Stop joking! This isn’t funny!”

Leah sympathized. She was reminded of her experiences at Highever. “For once I agree. This man was wounded defending the keep. He deserves some respect.”

“The... the commander?” Rowland stuttered. 

“I’m here, Rowland. How badly is he hurt?” Elissa asked. 

“I think he's poisoned,” Mhairi breathed.

Rowland continued. “We only had a moment's warning before they were on us, Commander. The seneschal ordered a counter-attack, but they came out of nowhere! There's one with them, a darkspawn who talks; his magic is powerful.”

“A talking darkspawn? The lad must be delirious,” Oghren said.

“There's something in my blood! It hurts!” Rowland winced. 

Elissa’s brow furrowed. “Where is this talking darkspawn?”

“It went that way, after... the seneschal…” Rowland’s head fell back against the wall of the keep. 

Mhairi stifled tears. “I will avenge you, Rowland. I swear it.”

Leah felt a wetness on her own face, and was surprised to wipe away a tear. The scene reminded her too much of Arthur and Marcus. 

“We need to keep moving. Find this darkspawn that Rowland saw,” Elissa said.

The group continued along their path, and came across a darkspawn that pressed a Vigil’s Keep soldier to the edge of the keep’s parapet. 

“It has ended just as he foretold.” The darkspawn pushed the soldier to the edge, kicking him off. It turned toward a second darkspawn, which held a blade to another man’s throat. “Be taking this one, gently. We are wishing no more death than is necessary.”

“Necessary? As if your kind has ever done anything else!” the man said. 

“You are thinking you know of our kind, human? It is understandable. But that will soon be changed.” 

“Others will come, creature! They will stop you!” the man sneered.

“There it is!” Mhairi exclaimed. 

“It seems your words be true, more than you are guessing,” the darkspawn said. 

“It is talking!” Anders said.

“Well, let's shut it up already!” Oghren said.

The man captured by the darkspawn called out. “Commander!”

“Capture the Grey Warden,” the darkspawn said. “These others, they may be killed.” 

“In your dreams,” Leah muttered.

The five companions worked together to defeat the darkspawn holding the man captive and succeeded. When they were gone, the man rose to his feet. 

“Commander, I owe you my life. I am Seneschal Varel.” He bowed, and then moved to the edge of the parapet and looked at the road before the keep. “Hmm... soldiers on the road. It seems we have more company. Hopefully they're more hospitable than our previous guests.”

Elissa looked down as well, then looked back at Leah. “Anora.”

“So we have a fifty-fifty chance?” Leah responded.

* * *

They met Anora and her party at the gates of the keep.

“I'd wanted to come and give the Wardens a formal welcome. I certainly wasn't expecting this. What's the situation?” Anora said.

The seneschal jumped in. “What darkspawn remained have fled, your Majesty. The Grey Wardens who had arrived from Orlais appear to be either dead or... missing.”

“Missing? As in taken by the darkspawn? Is that even possible?” She looked at Elissa, who only shrugged.

“I do not know, your Majesty. I know only that we cannot account for all the Wardens,” the seneschal said. 

“I see,” Anora said. “At least the Hero of Ferelden is still here, and alive.”

“So far,” Elissa responded. 

“You have quite the task ahead of you,” Anora said. 

Oghren interrupted. “I came here to join the Grey Wardens, and from the looks of it, you could use the extra hands! Where's the giant cup? I'll gargle and spit!”

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Leah grimaced. 

“Not quite,” Elissa admitted. “But we could sure use your help.”

“Ha! Well smack my ass and call me Sally! I'm in!” Oghren grinned. 

Mhairi shifted in her armor. “I... suppose all are welcome, in this dire time.”

“Joining the Wardens, hey?” Anders said. “Well good luck with that.”

Another woman clad in heavy armor approached from behind Anora. “Queen Anora! Your Majesty, this man is a dangerous criminal!”

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Anders frowned. “She means me.”

“And who are you?” Elissa asked the woman.

“I am a templar from the Fereldan Circle of Magi,” the woman said. “And this is an apostate who we were in the process of bringing back to the Circle to face justice!”

“Oh, please,” Anders said. “The things you people know about justice would fit into a thimble. I'll just escape again, anyhow.” 

“Never! I will see you hanged for what you've done here, murderer!”

“Murderer? But those templars were—” Anders stopped and shook his head. “Oh, what's the use? You won't believe me anyhow.”

“It seems there isn't much to say. Unless... you have something to add, Commander?” Anora asked.

Elissa eyed the female templar. “I do. I hereby conscript this mage into the Grey Wardens.” 

“What? Never!” the templar said.

“I believe the Grey Wardens still retain the Right of Conscription, no? I will allow it,” Anora agreed.

The templar deflated. “If... if your Majesty feels it is best.”

Oghren slapped Anders on the back. “Ha! Way to go, kid! Welcome aboard!”

Anders jerked forward. “Me? A Grey Warden? I guess that will work…”

“Congratulations, ser mage,” Mhairi said. “I look forward to fighting at your side.”

Anora nodded at Elissa. “Then if you have everything under control, I will need to take my leave.” 

“I believe the estate has been secured,” the seneschal offered. “We have suffered great losses, but the darkspawn are gone and there are survivors. I am most grateful for your timely rescue, Commander. I will aid you in ruling the lands of Amaranthine.” 

“You said there are survivors?” Elissa asked. 

“Some of the soldiers and Vigil staff survived,” the seneschal said. “But none of the Orlesian Wardens made it. Come and speak to me soon. There are many matters to attend to, not the least of which is the Joining. You will need to replenish your numbers.” 

“Indeed,” Anora chimed in. “The security of Ferelden relies on the Grey Wardens now, even weakened as the order is. No easy task, but I'm confident you are up to it. Good luck, Commander. May the Maker watch over you,” Anora said.

* * *

The seneschal insisted that the new recruits complete their Joining before they took care of any other matters. Leah was asked to wait outside the main hall while the ritual was performed.

She picked a blank spot along the stone wall to lean against, crossed her arms and considered the irony. She couldn’t tell the seneschal that she knew what the ritual entailed, because it was supposed to be a closely guarded secret. So she was keeping a secret about a secret.

It didn’t take long for them to finish. When the doors opened, Elissa greeted her with an exhausted look. 

“Well, it went better than my Joining, I suppose,” she murmured. “We have two new Grey Wardens.”

“Two?” Leah asked. “Then who…?”

“Mhairi didn’t make it,” Elissa whispered.

Leah looked into the hall. Oghren and Anders appeared dazed, but otherwise unchanged. Two guards were carrying Mhairi away.

“I’m sorry,” Leah returned her eyes to Elissa. 

“So am I,” Elissa sighed. “You’re welcome back inside if you’d like.”

Before Leah and Elissa made it far into the hall, two voices rang out behind them engaged in a tense discussion. 

“The Commander must be informed about the Deep Roads entrance. It could be their base of operation,” the male voice said.

A woman scoffed. “You'd have the Wardens chase a rumor then, Captain? And even if it proves true, unless the Pilgrim's Path is cleared by the time your army assembles they'll have nothing to eat but shoe leather.”

The seneschal interrupted them. “Garevel. Woolsey. The Commander has had a long day.” 

The woman spoke to Elissa first before the man could. “Warden Commander, a pleasure to meet you. I am Mistress Woolsey, sent by the order of the First Warden at Weisshaupt. I am to act as treasurer of the arling of Amaranthine. He believed local men could not be trusted for this post.”

“One of those local men is right here, Mistress Woolsey,” the seneschal muttered. 

“I have every confidence in the Vigil's loyalty in matters of arms. But gold corrupts even the most resolute soul,” Mistress Woolsey said. 

“So you're from Weisshaupt?” Elissa asked. 

“Not from Weisshaupt itself. I am from many places. I go where the Wardens command,” Mistress Woolsey explained, then turned the topic of conversation. “Ser, the arling is on the brink of economic collapse. Trade must flow. Merchant caravans are being systematically attacked somewhere along the Pilgrim's Path. It is the only route that can reliably provision an army, feed a city, and maintain civilization.”

“Is the situation really that dire?”

Woolsey pursed her lips. “A short term thinker sees only in immediate financial loss. But without essential supplies, we can expect mass starvation and anarchy. In the city of Amaranthine, there is a trader, Mervis, whose caravans have been hit particularly hard. He may know where along the road the darkspawn— or whatever they are— are striking.”

Elissa eyed Woolsey. “I see. Well, I know this may seem like ‘short term’ thinking but may I ask why the First Warden only sent a treasurer? I need more Wardens. If I had them, perhaps I could solve the trade problem more quickly.”

“The Fereldens are a proud people. They are proud of you, especially. Had the First Warden sent foreign fighters, it would have caused great distrust amongst the locals. Varel was specifically chosen as seneschal because he commands great respect here,” Mistress Woolsey said, nodding at the seneschal.

“Why does the First Warden care about Amaranthine?” Elissa asked. 

“About the arling?” Woolsey shrugged. “He does not. But about the implications, a great deal. When Warden Commander Dryden was cast out of Ferelden generations ago, it created a dangerous precedent. We are now presented with another precedent— Wardens owning lands and commanding fealty from lesser nobles. If your arling succeeds, it will be an example to other kingdoms— that Wardens are important, Blight or no.”

Elissa sighed. “That will be all, Mistress Woolsey.”

“Very well, Commander.”

The seneschal directed Elissa’s attention to the man that entered with Woolsey. “This is Ser Garevel, the new captain of the guard.”

“Captain,” Elissa greeted him. “What do you know about the darkspawn attack on the Vigil?”

“My predecessor, Captain Rullens, and much of the senior staff were inside the keep proper at the time. How they met their fates is unknown. All we know is darkspawn swarmed the keep,” Garavel said with a shrug. 

“Do we know where the darkspawn came from?”

“I talked with the dwarf Voldrik earlier. It's his belief, and I concur, that they came from the keep itself. The deep cellars go very deep indeed. Voldrik suspects the darkspawn found a hidden route into the keep,” the captain said.

Elissa’s brow furrowed. “We need to find and seal that entrance. How many soldiers survived the attack on the Keep?”

Garavel frowned. “Barely, any, truth be told. And none of the Wardens. But there are still many soldiers out patrolling the roads between here and Amaranthine. We can recover from this,” he assured her. 

“Of course,” Elissa murmured. “Anything else urgent that I need to know?”

“Potentially urgent. The Orlesians— Wardens, I mean—” Garavel corrected himself. “They began gathering information while they were here. The most promising lead they found was a wild tale a couple of hunters told.”

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “A wild tale was the best lead they had? What exactly did the hunters claim?”

“These hunters, Colbert and…” the captain floundered to remember the other hunter’s name. ”Well, the other one... they claim to have stumbled across an entrance to the Deep Roads. Darkspawn all over the place, they said. And this was before the fiends appeared throughout the whole arling. The Wardens were just about to send someone to track down Colbert.”

“And where is Colbert?” Elissa asked. 

“He and his friend are in Amaranthine. Probably amongst the refugees outside the city gate.”

“Outside the city gate?” Elissa took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Of course. What was it Alistair used to say?” She turned to Leah. 

“That the good thing about a Blight is how it brings people together,” Leah said wryly.

“Right,” Elissa looked back at the captain. 

“They only have so much room, Commander,” Garavel tried to explain. “They can’t take in everyone running from the Blight.” 

“Says the man guarding a giant empty castle,” Leah muttered.

Elissa jumped in before Garavel could respond. “She’s not wrong. But given what just happened to the Wardens here before us I wouldn’t want to invite innocent refugees in just to have them slaughtered.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair,” Leah admitted. “It’s still shitty to leave these people homeless.”

“Agreed. One overwhelming problem at a time, I’m afraid. Thank you, Captain.”

Garavel eyed Leah, then returned his attention to Elissa. “Commander.” He bowed and left. 

Elissa turned to the seneschal. “Seneschal Varel, anything else that I need to know?”

“Straight to business, then.” He nodded. “Orlais sent a dozen Wardens to the Vigil to await your arrival. Nearly all died in the attack— but Kristoff is still in the field.”

“They sent a dozen Wardens to fight an army?” Elissa asked. 

“Oh, it only took three Wardens to end a civil war and kill an archdemon. A dozen is extravagant.” Varel gave her a teasing smile. “In truth, the Warden-Commander of Orlais wanted to send more, but there are political considerations. The Empress of Orlais was not pleased when her Wardens were turned away during the Blight.”

“Why were they turned away?”

The seneschal grunted. “Teyrn Loghain still had bitter memories of the Orlesian occupation. And whatever message he sent back with the Wardens, it got the Empress’ knickers in a twist.”

“Loghain. Of course.” Elissa shook her head. “I can only imagine.”

“And now they’ve had a dozen of their Wardens abducted or killed while on Fereldan soil,” Leah said. “You should have saved Loghain’s head and sent it to her as a peace offering.”

Elissa grimaced. “That’s… disgusting.”

Varel shrugged. “It might not have been a bad idea, all things considered.”

“I don’t disagree, but still,” Elissa shut her eyes for a moment. “Varel, where is this Kristoff you mentioned before?”

“The Orlesian Wardens were uneasy that the darkspawn weren't going to ground, with the Blight ended. Kristoff was sent to track down some leads. A fortnight ago he left in a bustle. As best as we figure he went to Amaranthine.” 

“I too would love to know why the darkspawn haven’t returned to the Deep Roads,” Elissa said.

Varel nodded. “Wiser men than I have worried over it. One of the Wardens said the archdemon's strength gave the horde some semblance of purpose. If they've found some other purpose…” He frowned and shuddered. 

“Indeed,” Elissa agreed. “Amaranthine isn't small, how will I find Kristoff?”

“There are only so many places travelers visit. I'd check the inns and taverns.”

“Did he reveal anything of what he found?” Elissa asked.

“He did, but not to me. The Wardens keep their own counsel.”

“Of course,” Elissa acknowledged. “Thank you, Varel.” 

When the seneschal was gone, she turned to Leah. “This is… a lot. I feel a need for some air.”

“Sounds good to me,” Leah said and gestured towards the Keep’s entrance. 

As they descended the exterior stairs, they saw a blond female soldier on duty. When she saw Elissa her eyes widened.

“Blimey, Commander of the Grey!” the soldier said.

Elissa gave her a weak smile. “As you were,” she said.

The soldier swallowed and shifted from one foot to another. “Begging your pardon, Commander. I have some information you might find interesting.”

Elissa gestured for Leah to stop. “Oh? What would that be?”

The soldier licked her lips and took a breath. “A while back, they caught a thief in the Vigil. Took four Wardens to capture him. Gave one of the Wardens a black eye, he did. Half-joking, they said he might make a good recruit.”

“Where is this thief now?” Elissa asked after a moment’s consideration. 

“He's in the dungeon, ser.” She pointed towards a door several yards away. 

“Thank you, that’s very helpful,” Elissa said to the soldier. 

The blond warrior grinned and saluted Elissa. “You’re welcome, ser. Anything I can do to help the Wardens.”

Leah smirked as she and Elissa walked away. “All of your complicated, dangerous problems aside, I’m having a great time watching these young starstruck soldiers adore you.”

Elissa rolled her eyes. “Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not! It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You know me in quite a different way than they do. And I am the Warden-Commander. They’re meant to be deferential as a matter of training and procedure.” Elissa jerked her chin towards the dungeon. “Let’s check this out. As much as I’d love a moment to breathe, this thief might know how the darkspawn entered the Keep.”

They opened an unassuming wooden door and descended into Vigil’s Keep’s dungeon. Another soldier greeted them at the bottom. 

“Ah, Commander! Good thing you're here. This one's been locked up three nights, now. Good men died while he was protected in his cell.” 

The prisoner sat on the floor with one knee propped up. He had dark shoulder length hair and an angry, dark glitter in his eyes as he watched Elissa. 

She wasn’t one to be easily intimidated, so she met his gaze without flinching. “Who is he?”

The guard shook his head. “He won't give his name. All I know is he was caught poking around the estate in the middle of the night. I'd say he was just a thief, but it took four Grey Wardens to capture him. You best be careful. Whoever he is, he's no ordinary burglar, that's for sure.”

Elissa pursed her lips. “Alright. Leave me to talk with him.”

“As you wish, Commander.” The guard left the dungeon.

Elissa approached the cell and the prisoner stood to face her. 

“If it isn’t the great hero, conqueror of the Blight and vanquisher of all evil. Aren’t you supposed to be ten feet tall? With lightning bolts shooting out of your eyes?” he taunted her. 

“Wow, the Fereldan rumor mill has really gotten out of control,” Leah joked. 

“I just thought my father’s murderer would be more… impressive.” The man sneered. 

“Your father?” Elissa’s brow furrowed.

Despite the cell bars between them, Leah’s hand instinctively grasped the hilt of her sword. “Who are you?”

“My name is Nathaniel Howe. My family owned these lands until you showed up. Do you even remember my father?” he spat. 

Elissa’s expression turned as cold and unyielding as stone. “Every day since he murdered my family. He deserved what he got.”

“Your family was going to sell us out to the Orlesians!” Nathaniel argued. 

“Even if that were true,” Elissa growled at him. “How does that justify butchering a little boy and his mother?” she shouted, her voice breaking towards the end. She swallowed hard and took a moment to regain control of herself. “Your father lied to you, Nathaniel.” 

“You denied me the chance to even talk to him. You stole into his estate and slaughtered him. I came here intending to kill you. To lay a trap for you.” Nathaniel paused, and his voice grew quieter. “But then… I realized I just wanted to reclaim some of my family’s things. It’s all I have left,” he muttered.

The haunted look on his face was enough to calm Elissa further. The venom Nathaniel had stored up all this time for her had clearly lost its momentum now that he had a chance to face her and vent it. 

“Nathaniel, how much do you know about your father?” Elissa asked in a low voice.

“If you’re asking whether I knew what he was up to, the answer is no.” He crossed his arms and paced in his cell. “I’ve been in the Free Marches the last several years. I was squired there.” He stopped and turned back to Elissa. “Look, I don't know what happened with your family. It sounds like it was horrible. The entire war was. Whatever my father did, however, shouldn't harm my whole family. The Howes are pariahs now, those of us left. It's all thanks to you. And now you get to decide my fate. Ironic, isn't it?”

“More like justified,” Leah jumped in. She was getting fed up with Nathaniel’s insulting attitude towards Elissa. “You can thank your father for destroying your family’s reputation. If he cared so much about preserving it, he should have refrained from murdering and torturing every perceived enemy his paranoid mind could conjure up.”

Nathaniel turned his ire to Leah. “And what would some no-name Grey Warden lap-dog know about it?”

“Oh no you didn’t—” Leah started to draw her sword, but Elissa stopped her with a firm hand.

“That’s enough!” She turned to Leah. “This isn’t helping anything.”

“I disagree, I think him being unconscious would help a lot,” Leah said. 

Elissa sighed and shook her head. She returned her attention to Nathaniel. “You could work to redeem your family’s name, you know.”

He scoffed at the suggestion. “You’re right. I’ll go join Queen Anora’s service immediately. She’d be certain to give a Howe another chance!”

Elissa cringed.

“All things considered, I’d say you two have a lot in common,” Leah muttered.

“His father held her prisoner at his estate in Denerim. She may not be quick to forgive that,” Elissa said. “Then again, a man who can give four Grey Wardens a run for their money would be a valuable soldier. I hear you were difficult to capture.”

“I’m not without skills,” Nathaniel said. “My time abroad wasn’t spent chasing skirts and drinking wine.”

Elissa raised an eyebrow. “What skills are those exactly?”

“Hunting. Scouting. Poisons. Why? What do you care?” Nathaniel challenged her.

“Knowing what you’re capable of is valuable to me. What would you do if I let you go?” Elissa asked.

“If you let me go?” Nathaniel furrowed his brow in confusion. “I… don’t know. I only came back to Ferelden a month ago.” He thought for a moment, then looked Elissa straight in the eye. “Honestly, if you let me go, I’ll probably just come back here. And you might not catch me next time.”

“Oh, we will. I’ll make it a priority. My own personal mission to lock you back up,” Leah said.

“That sounds like a challenge,” Nathaniel retorted. 

Leah continued. “Or maybe you’ll meet some unfortunate accident. Slip and fall into a hangman’s noose.”

“I’d love to see you try.” He gripped the cell bars.

“Maker give me strength,” Elissa murmured. “Nathaniel, trust me, that’s not a bear you want to poke. Leah was a soldier at Highever when your father invaded the castle. She killed many of his men. As a novice recruit. I would not take her threats lightly.”

Nathaniel glanced from Elissa back to Leah. “Fine.” He pushed himself away from the bars and returned to pacing his cell. 

Elissa stood silent for a few moments. “Alright,” she finally said. “I’ve decided what to do with you.”

“Already? Good.” Nathaniel grumbled. 

Elissa turned to Leah. “Would you ask the guard to fetch the seneschal.”

Leah glanced over at Nathaniel. “Sure, no problem.” 

She walked over to the dungeon entrance and told the guard that Elissa wanted the seneschal. A few minutes later he returned with Varel. “She says she’s ready to make a decision.” She jerked her head towards Elissa.

“Good, let’s get this over with,” the seneschal said. 

Leah, Varel and the guard returned to Nathaniel’s cell.

“I see you’ve spoken to our guest,” the seneschal said. “Quite the handful, isn’t he? What have you decided to do with him?”

“Seneschal Varel, did you know this was Nathaniel Howe?” Elissa asked. 

Mild surprise visited the seneschal’s face. “A Howe? Hmm. It figures that they would turn up again. The Howes are implacable enemies, Commander.”

“Indeed. Seneschal, I’ve decided to invoke the Right of Conscription.” Elissa said, her voice cool and calm.

“You _what_?” Nathaniel and Leah said in unison, then glared at each other again.

“I’m sorry, Commander. The Right of Conscription? On the prisoner?” the seneschal said.

“No, absolutely not!” Nathaniel protested. “Hang me first!”

“I’ll get the rope,” Leah said. 

Elissa flashed a warning look at her, then turned back to Nathaniel. “You don’t think this is better than dying?”

“Hard to say. You like having Grey Wardens who want you dead?” Nathaniel narrowed his eyes at her.

Elissa gave a short laugh. “I’ll risk it.”

Nathaniel muttered to himself. “I can’t decide if this is a vote of confidence or punishment.”

“An… interesting decision, Commander,” the seneschal said. “Come with me, ser. We’ll see if you survive the Joining.”

The seneschal led Nathaniel away. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Leah whispered to Elissa.

Elissa gave her a small smile. “I tell myself that every day.”


End file.
